For Big Women on the Edge When the Subway is Too Crowded

macaya5

And my kids are still the cutest.

That's what you should walk away with. ;P

They totally are.

Amanda13108

wldrose75

After she calmed down, the woman admitted she was hungry because she hadn't eaten enough lunch.

That's funny 'cause what I wanted to say from the moment I read your post is that you should've told her she wouldn't be so itchy if she'd eat a cheeseburger every once in awhile...

BinaryPulsar

What a day!! Thanks for sharing more.

lilac67

I applaud you, Macaya5! We are truly the last "minority" that it is politically correct to treat as non-human beings. WTG!

Pretty sure "obese" isn't a minority that needs to be protected....

Think that's the same thing Caucasians said about African Americans back in the 60's.

Um... considering weight can be changed and skin color cannot be (at least not permanently without a host of chemicals) that is a hyperbolic statement.

I see, you just did it, too. Ok, granted skin color in most cases can't be changed, and weight can. You are making it sound like we deserve to be picked on and belittled, like we deserve the abuse alot of us receive. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Queen_JessieA

<slow clap>

Joining in!

kmart919

Just out of curiosity, could you have simply moved over half a step in the first place? That could have avoided the whole silly situation.

I'm small and when I had to commute via bus and subway, I still often found myself readjusting my stance or position for not only my comfort, but for that of those around me as well. Yes, it's crowded and sometimes that half of a step makes a difference. If it was really too crowded for half a step I am having a difficult time believing that someone ELSE had not asked her to move her bag. Many NYers are forward (pushy?) enough to askfor the seat if they want it. I've seen it and done it many times. Such is the culture of the city. If we know what we want, we go or it or else we won't get it.

And regarding the silliness of calling her skinny and underfed,
Not eating lunch doesn't necessarily mean she's "underfed" it means she simply was hungry and had not eaten lunch. Nothing more. She's likely a busy New Yorker who probably is juggling a million things and lunch got pushed late. I cant count how many times ive had to skip or have a late lunch because work it simply too busy. Why does everyone jump to, "she should have a cheeseburgers." Maybe her late lunch was a cheeseburger. Skinny people can eat cheeseburgers and still be skinny.

This whole situation is fairly silly.

RedHeadDevotchka

Ugh that would anger me alot too! It doesn't matter what size you are a freaking packed subway car is uncomfortable for everyone!
Once I tried to fit on a train and I was all in except my azz which I couldnt exactly suck in so I got off the train and you know what? who cares? It was kinda funny.
Good for you though for standing up for yourself.

macaya5

*shudder* I've seen this IRL.
Also, LOL

nashsheri33

good for you.

perhaps next time you could sit on her purse. then her legs would have plenty of room.

_Witsy_

OP here! Here are some things for the record:

After she calmed down, the woman admitted she was hungry because she hadn't eaten enough lunch.

I'm not always the better person. There are times when someone pushes me or steps on my foot or whacks me with their bag (because even though I'm big, I'm only 5'2") and I brush it off.

I did not brush this off because the only option she gave me was move or be kicked. When I told her then just don't kick me, she started with her litany of ways in which she thought she was better, unprovoked by me. College, hard childhood, pregnant...my responses were that I also graduated college, I grew up in the projects and I didn't get her pregnant but how nice that she got a seat in her condition. When none of that worked to shame me as she'd hoped, she played the fat card. I never once called her skinny or underfed or any of that to her face. I did tell her she was an entitled itch and to suck it up. That's when she said (and this is why I don't think she was pregnant) to get off the train and she'd fight me. My response was that she should feel free to try, as I have over 100lbs on her.

I try to be the better person. It does not always work.

This was a rant. I was angry. Clearly, there are a lot of people that got something worthwhile from the post. I never thought it would be that way for everyone. I was venting.

By the time we were done, we both apologized and owned up to our stuff.

Sometimes, I really am a *itch. I don't always say the right thing but I always own it.

If you choose to take all this personally, that's on you. If you don't agree, that's cool. Start your own rant thread and find your peeps. There's plenty of stuff on here I don't agree with. I don't friend those people and I don't comment on those threads.

Ooooh now the part of where you both apologized for your actions comes into play....10 pages in.

Getyourshineon

Wow, really? People amaze me sometimes. That's some of why I live in the South, where folks are friendly and there's no subway... Wait a minute, if someone reading is reading this, don't become insulted if you're from the North.. I don't want to start a war, just joking, really...

Last time you Southerns tried that is did not work out so well... :smokin:

I suspect this is why a bunch of us are "gun toting red necks"... we don't want to stockpile all our arms in one place again... just in case...

Lol, love it! All in good fun

BinaryPulsar

I had this temporary subway problem once (it's no longer an issue) during the winter when I was performing (dance) every night for a week. It was winter and my children were catching colds and I really did not want to get sick because it is extremely challenging to perform dance if you have a cough or a runny nose. Anyway, for some reason, every evening as I was taking the train to go perform, people were coming up to me and telling me their whole life story and life problems. And it's just the way I am that I have trouble turning away from someone when they are telling me something sad and emotional about themselves. So, that would have been fine, but they would always end the conversation with grabbing my hand and shaking my hand. Then I was worried I could catch a cold. So, my husband came up with the brilliant idea that I should read a book about math because "people are scared of math" (that has been his experience when he talks about math, people tend to want to end the conversation). :laugh:

dixiewhiskey

Judging someone based on their size is wrong, obviously. So, yes, even skinny people shouldn't be judged based on their size. However, I think what the OP was getting at is that the woman with the rude comments was CLEARLY judging her based on her being bigger than herself. I find that some people always try to find the negatives in everyone's posts. I highly doubt OP has anything against 'skinny' people, as she is trying to be one of 'them' in her journey to become healthier with My Fitness PAL.

I'd just like to restate that the poster isn't discriminating against skinny people, but is obviously sick of being judged based on her size and being bullied because of it, as well, and is just venting at the RUDE women (who happens to be thin) who took up more than her share of space on the subway and then bullied her.

Also, not everything she said will you agree with. Maybe the subway doesn't seem busy to you, but to someone else, it might feel like a cramped, stuffy, jerky hell. Dealing with a-holes on the way home/to work (or wherever) is the last thing anyone needs to deal with. Why can't you just let the woman rant? Pals, indeed.

Hey, what's with the attitude? Go rant in another forum and preferably avoiding the discriminatory commentary is all I`m saying.. Motivation and Support?? I don't see anything empowering about this thread. There is a section of the site, or even better, a friending option where you can vent how you wish. Contrary to what you say isn't discrimination, it actually is. Sometimes, we all have to take a step back and think how it would feel if the same was done to us. If a "underfed" "thin" person posted on the forum saying how "fat" "large", etc people take up space on the subway in the same manner as the OP, the forum would be in an uproar.

I may sound completely unempathetic (I don't really care whether it seems that way or not) but I don't really have time to rant about how, on a daily basis, "larger" ladies and men decided to sit in the middle seat where there was obviously no room, or "smaller" people did the same or even how claustrophobic I feel when I ride. It's no one's problem but my own. My husband happens to be someone who was also bullied for being big in high school and now is someone who could be considered "thin". I remember a woman on the streetcar called him a stringbean because he told her to stop spraying perfume. Until one is happy with oneself, they will always be ridiculed - it doesn't make it right but loving yourself goes a long way! When you love yourself, you hold your head up high and pay little mind to the meaningless words of a stranger because you love who you are.

The woman on the subway - it's pretty obvious no one here likes what she did but two wrongs don't make a right. How did y'all know the girl on the subway didn't have cancer? Eating disorder? Genetic disease? Did the woman on the subway lift her shirt and show her "underfed" body? Probably not so it wasn't worth mentioning. Keep the hate off MFP and be the change you want to see.

dixiewhiskey

OP here! Here are some things for the record:

After she calmed down, the woman admitted she was hungry because she hadn't eaten enough lunch.

I'm not always the better person. There are times when someone pushes me or steps on my foot or whacks me with their bag (because even though I'm big, I'm only 5'2") and I brush it off.

I did not brush this off because the only option she gave me was move or be kicked. When I told her then just don't kick me, she started with her litany of ways in which she thought she was better, unprovoked by me. College, hard childhood, pregnant...my responses were that I also graduated college, I grew up in the projects and I didn't get her pregnant but how nice that she got a seat in her condition. When none of that worked to shame me as she'd hoped, she played the fat card. I never once called her skinny or underfed or any of that to her face. I did tell her she was an entitled itch and to suck it up. That's when she said (and this is why I don't think she was pregnant) to get off the train and she'd fight me. My response was that she should feel free to try, as I have over 100lbs on her.

I try to be the better person. It does not always work.

This was a rant. I was angry. Clearly, there are a lot of people that got something worthwhile from the post. I never thought it would be that way for everyone. I was venting.

By the time we were done, we both apologized and owned up to our stuff.

Sometimes, I really am a *itch. I don't always say the right thing but I always own it.

If you choose to take all this personally, that's on you. If you don't agree, that's cool. Start your own rant thread and find your peeps. There's plenty of stuff on here I don't agree with. I don't friend those people and I don't comment on those threads.

Ooooh now the part of where you both apologized for your actions comes into play....10 pages in.

Yeah.. I share, uh, similar opinion to what you posted but I am happy to have read some kind of an apology. It's kind of half-a**** though cause it turns into a defensive one at the end of it. I hate the attitude "well if you don't like it, you don't have to reply". I am disappointed that this thread is allowed to continue in its current capacity and area of the site. Not motivation at all and I'm not even a "thin" girl.

I am very proud though of many of you that supported the OP but also called her out on the offensive parts of her post. Yay for not standing by discrimination!

78brownie_wechanged

OP here! Here are some things for the record:

After she calmed down, the woman admitted she was hungry because she hadn't eaten enough lunch.

I'm not always the better person. There are times when someone pushes me or steps on my foot or whacks me with their bag (because even though I'm big, I'm only 5'2") and I brush it off.

I did not brush this off because the only option she gave me was move or be kicked. When I told her then just don't kick me, she started with her litany of ways in which she thought she was better, unprovoked by me. College, hard childhood, pregnant...my responses were that I also graduated college, I grew up in the projects and I didn't get her pregnant but how nice that she got a seat in her condition. When none of that worked to shame me as she'd hoped, she played the fat card. I never once called her skinny or underfed or any of that to her face. I did tell her she was an entitled itch and to suck it up. That's when she said (and this is why I don't think she was pregnant) to get off the train and she'd fight me. My response was that she should feel free to try, as I have over 100lbs on her.

I try to be the better person. It does not always work.

This was a rant. I was angry. Clearly, there are a lot of people that got something worthwhile from the post. I never thought it would be that way for everyone. I was venting.

By the time we were done, we both apologized and owned up to our stuff.

Sometimes, I really am a *itch. I don't always say the right thing but I always own it.

If you choose to take all this personally, that's on you. If you don't agree, that's cool. Start your own rant thread and find your peeps. There's plenty of stuff on here I don't agree with. I don't friend those people and I don't comment on those threads.

I don't think you needed to explain yourself at all. People on the internet will do anything to start drama since virtual arguments give you a safe place to hide (your keyboard). People with common sense got where you were coming from, and understood this was just a story. People who took it seriously, probably take themselves too seriously in real life and that's a shame.

Yeah...no need to explain yourself. Seriously... TeamOP