Pop Tart Cleanse Anybody? Looking for Feedback.

MsDover

I'm waiting til Dr. Oz is on board!

You mean when he comes out with his own brand of pop tart facsimiles?

Aarjono

I'm waiting til Dr. Oz is on board!

OK, I swore I wouldn't name drop, but actually he *is* my husband's cousin's neighbor's dog-walker's dentist's brother-in-law, and following his advice has also transformed my poop into Skittles.

irishguns

I'm waiting til Dr. Oz is on board!

OK, I swore I wouldn't name drop, but actually he *is* my husband's cousin's neighbor's dog-walker's dentist's brother-in-law, and following his advice has also transformed my poop into Skittles.

You're doing it wrong. Everyone knows you should poop M&M's, not skittles.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

i've purchased the strawberry flavored Pop Tart cleanse (without icing) in the large box, so it should work twice as well.

how many do i eat in order to jump start my metabolism?

should i drink milk with it, or will dairy jump start my metabolism too much?

please tell me only what i want to hear.

:flowerforyou:

Hmm. Maybe I should try that vs. the cleanse I was just about to start... But what do I do with a 50 gallon barrel of bleach, cherry flavored 409, and a deluxe enema bag?

verptwerp

nypr

Thank you, one and all! Nice of everyone to go with it and lighten it up a bit (no, a lot!!) :laugh:

By the way, I just noticed this at the bottom of the page "Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy." (That means we'll never really know if the pot tart cleanse is better than the streudel) Probably didn't spell that correctly. :blushing:

Aarjono

Thank you, one and all! Nice of everyone to go with it and lighten it up a bit (no, a lot!!) :laugh:

By the way, I just noticed this at the bottom of the page "Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy." (That means we'll never really know if the pot tart cleanse is better than the streudel) Probably didn't spell that correctly. :blushing:

The POT Tart cleanse is something entirely different, and can actually cause weight gain. Be careful not to get them confused.

:smokin:

LiftAllThePizzas

I'm waiting til Dr. Oz is on board!

OK, I swore I wouldn't name drop, but actually he *is* my husband's cousin's neighbor's dog-walker's dentist's brother-in-law, and following his advice has also transformed my poop into Skittles.

I also won't mention that I was Mollie Sugden's bridesmaid.

AntWrig

You need to eat the whole box within 23 seconds at 12:59am, if you don't you will store all kinds of fat. All kinds.

Flickenstein

you guys are all retarded for posting on this feed!!! This site is meant to help people,who are serious about losing weight. everyone knows that the pop-tart cleanse is a myth.....you need to inhale toaster struddles and snort the icing. Nice try though....

michellemybelll

MagicalLeopleurodon

My best resultd came with s'mores, heated for 35 secondds, with ice colk soymilk.

the real key is this-pull the edges off and break the rest into 8 pieces. dunk the edges in silk abd eat. drink the silk, then eat the centers.

Ramberta

should i take these orally or as suppositories?

The best cleanses are inserted as enemas, duh.

Iron_Feline

:flowerforyou:

QFW :laugh:

smilingirisheyes

You could take them as suppositories. But I don't know anyone with a slot shaped sphincter.

Then you don't know enough people.

WinnerVictorious

i should let everyone know that although the Pop Tart cleanse was working for me, i felt i needed to shake things up and am currently doing the Hitting Myself in the Head with a Sledgehammer cleanse. thanks for your support. :flowerforyou:

htimpaired

My doctor says that the poptart cleanse needs to be accompanied by a side of bacon. And my doctor said it, and is strictly supervising it.

bonitacash08

This is the only Cleanse/Detox board I'll allow myself to comment on. Otherwise I just know my account will get deleted and I'll get fat again.

My success thus far has included:
1. The Pooptart Cleanse
I saw this mentioned several times but no one has gone into detail. Eat a poptart. Poop. Be cleansed. Repeat every hour on the hour for 3 days. The chemical reactions will cause your body to drop up to 10 lbs. Then go on eating normally for 4 days and start again. Add hot dogs and vanilla ice cream for faster burn!

2. The Cherry Kool Aide Master Detox
Make 15 gallons of Cherry Kool Aid with salt instead of sugar. Drink all 15 gallons in 15 minutes. Repeat every hour on the hour for 3 days. The chemical reactions will cause your body to drop up to 10 lbs! 10 lbs of pure, gurgling, oozing, dripping, disgusting fat and leave behind all the sexy slim muscles. No heavy lifting required.

Be safe and good luck!

magerum

In. Just in. I fully encourage such behavior.

I recommend these:

Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts & Pumpkin Cheesecake Ben & Jerry's ice cream sandwich






Red Velvet Pop Tarts & Red Velvet Cake Ben & Jerry's ice cream sandwich:


]


My hoard:

FootballGamer58

you guys are all retarded for posting on this feed!!! This site is meant to help people,who are serious about losing weight. everyone knows that the pop-tart cleanse is a myth.....you need to inhale toaster struddles and snort the icing. Nice try though....

thank you! I have said this like 20 times in this thread. No one here believes me

toaster streudals. make the smart choice

MassiveDelta

this works...Ive done it.

WinnerVictorious

you guys are all retarded for posting on this feed!!! This site is meant to help people,who are serious about losing weight. everyone knows that the pop-tart cleanse is a myth.....you need to inhale toaster struddles and snort the icing. Nice try though....

thank you! I have said this like 20 times in this thread. No one here believes me

toaster streudals. make the smart choice

wrong.

this is your brain on Pop Tarts:



this is your brain on Toaster Struedel:

magerum

you guys are all retarded for posting on this feed!!! This site is meant to help people,who are serious about losing weight. everyone knows that the pop-tart cleanse is a myth.....you need to inhale toaster struddles and snort the icing. Nice try though....

thank you! I have said this like 20 times in this thread. No one here believes me

toaster streudals. make the smart choice

wrong.

this is your brain on Pop Tarts:



this is your brain on Toaster Struedel:

This!!!11!!1!!11!!!!!!:laugh:

LiftAllThePizzas

i should let everyone know that although the Pop Tart cleanse was working for me, i felt i needed to shake things up and am currently doing the Hitting Myself in the Head with a Sledgehammer cleanse. thanks for your support. :flowerforyou:

Make sure to rotate in the fork in the eye cleanse too. This will cause toxin confusion and speed up the process.

slkehl

You know what I don't understand? Unfrosted poptarts have just as many calories as the frosted ones...

WinnerVictorious

You know what I don't understand? Unfrosted poptarts have just as many calories as the frosted ones...

the frosting is made from equal parts negative calorie ingredients and shame.

shytrevoak

Greatest thread ever!!

Seriously. You people are hilarious. :laugh: :laugh:

Contrarian

you guys are all retarded for posting on this feed!!! This site is meant to help people,who are serious about losing weight. everyone knows that the pop-tart cleanse is a myth.....you need to inhale toaster struddles and snort the icing. Nice try though....

thank you! I have said this like 20 times in this thread. No one here believes me

toaster streudals. make the smart choice

I believe you. Toaster Strudels are far superior, due to the filling to pastry ratio. I wish people would do their research. *sigh*

DorisR184

Mmm! I unfrosted strawberry Pop tarts

xDawnsgrace

Don't forget to add butter, lots of butter.

And ice cream. Ice cream and butter. You'll lose 50 lbs in 20 hours.