Pop Tart Cleanse Anybody? Looking for Feedback.

EvgeniZyntx

Does someone have a website where I can order these pop tart cleanses. I'm in a poptart free zone and frankly Pain-au-Chocolat enemas are just too messy.

Oh, and don't google chocolate enema. Just no. :noway: :noway:

neandermagnon

This thread made much more sense after I went to Google what a bloody Pop Tart was.

first time I heard of them I thought of all the late 80s teeny-bop artists....

MsPudding

first time I heard of them I thought of all the late 80s teeny-bop artists....

Hah yes - or what you'd get if you put a band together of those pre-teen Irish travellers from 'My Big, Fat, Gypsy Wedding'.

trijoe

I have a serious question: When the box says "Raspberry Poptarts", are the keytones implied? Or do you have to add the keytones on top somehow? I mean, by law if it's a cleanse and it says "raspberry" it's got to have keytones, right?

barkin43

does anyone else use poptarts as Prophylactics?

Yes, but it was only after having 3 kids that I was told I was doing it wrong. You're supposed to hold the poptart firmly between your knees for best protection.

blu_meanie_ca

^"Seems" like it worked for him....

Yes, but did you notice that his eyes are now slightly cross eyed, and he lost the ability to dress himself (the poor soul is wearing his shirt as a scarf). Perhaps this tragedy could of been averted if he'd only eaten a variety of breakfast type pasteries (and more "type" food altogether... as the calories don't count if you don't know what it really is).

FootballGamer58

7 pages deep and people are still riding the popcorn sham. Use the toaster strudels for a clense, start the revolution.

neandermagnon

I have a serious question: When the box says "Raspberry Poptarts", are the keytones implied? Or do you have to add the keytones on top somehow? I mean, by law if it's a cleanse and it says "raspberry" it's got to have keytones, right?

I'm not a biochemist so forgive me if I'm wrong, but surely wherever there are raspberries there are raspberry ketones, and the more the raspberry goes off, the more ketones there are in it.

so maybe leave your raspberry poptarts somewhere warm for a few days and then eat them for more ketones. (or use as a suppository, whatever your personal preference is)

Mokey41

^"Seems" like it worked for him....

Yes, but did you notice that his eyes are now slightly cross eyed, and he lost the ability to dress himself (the poor soul is wearing his shirt as a scarf). Perhaps this tragedy could of been averted if he'd only eaten a variety of breakfast type pasteries (and more "type" food altogether... as the calories don't count if you don't know what it really is).

He has eyes? Oh wait, yeah, he does!

kmc979

I tried this diet and it just didn't work for me so I researched and researched and finally the solution, you are supposed to make a pop tart sandwich using eggo waffles! and also, despite what others are saying, it does not matter what flavor you use, they are all awesome!
best of luck to everyone!

Aarjono

My husband's cousin's neighbor's dog-walker's dentist's brother-in-law swears that you have to start and finish with a 1 gallon double sugar Blastin' Berry Cherry Koo-laid enema or it won't work.

Signed up in 2013? Still gets it. Faith in humanity? RESTORED!

Aarjono is obviously cool since they have a "grumpy cat in mardigras attire" avatar.

What mardis gras attire? That's the after-effect of the pop tart cleanse with the koolaid enema.

CoraGregoryCPA

Oh man I wish this was true! I wish they did work miracles and I wouldn't go out of control with the Starwberry ones.

I have no self control for pop tarts. I will eat the whole box.. I will.. I just will. I can't buy them. I wish..

LiftAllThePizzas

Why bother starting inane ridiculous threads like this, do you have a need to see how many people you can sucker into trying to answer you? Every day people like yourself create farcical threads that only serve to clog up the boards and make it difficult to find real information. You must have a lot of free time on your hands!!

Thanks for the reminder that life is too short to waste time being angry.

AnvilHead

Why bother starting inane ridiculous threads like this, do you have a need to see how many people you can sucker into trying to answer you? Every day people like yourself create farcical threads that only serve to clog up the boards and make it difficult to find real information. You must have a lot of free time on your hands!!

Thanks for the reminder that life is too short to waste time being angry.

Have a Pop Tart and a smile!

onyxgirl17

LMAO!

xMonroeMisfit

Did someone say poptarts?

MsPudding

Hrm....I like to eat clean and not consume anything with chemicals in them. - are these Pop Tarts pasture fed?

neandermagnon

Hrm....I like to eat clean and not consume anything with chemicals in them. - are these Pop Tarts pasture fed?

they roamed the wild and were hunted this morning by expert marksmen

scaredofcoasters

The pastry is the problem. Poke a hole in it, and simply drink the high fructose corn syrup, It's a liquid, so it doesn't stay in your body as fat. Then throw the pastry away or give it to your dog. I dropped 3 dress sizes in a week with this miracle diet secret.