Pop Tart Cleanse Anybody? Looking for Feedback.

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Replies

  • Aarjono
    Aarjono Posts: 228 Member
    My husband's cousin's neighbor's dog-walker's dentist's brother-in-law swears that you have to start and finish with a 1 gallon double sugar Blastin' Berry Cherry Koo-laid enema or it won't work.

    Signed up in 2013? Still gets it. Faith in humanity? RESTORED!

    Aarjono is obviously cool since they have a "grumpy cat in mardigras attire" avatar.

    What mardis gras attire? That's the after-effect of the pop tart cleanse with the koolaid enema.
  • CoraGregoryCPA
    CoraGregoryCPA Posts: 1,087 Member
    Oh man I wish this was true! I wish they did work miracles and I wouldn't go out of control with the Starwberry ones.

    I have no self control for pop tarts. I will eat the whole box.. I will.. I just will. I can't buy them. I wish..
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Why bother starting inane ridiculous threads like this, do you have a need to see how many people you can sucker into trying to answer you? Every day people like yourself create farcical threads that only serve to clog up the boards and make it difficult to find real information. You must have a lot of free time on your hands!!
    Thanks for the reminder that life is too short to waste time being angry.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
    Why bother starting inane ridiculous threads like this, do you have a need to see how many people you can sucker into trying to answer you? Every day people like yourself create farcical threads that only serve to clog up the boards and make it difficult to find real information. You must have a lot of free time on your hands!!
    Thanks for the reminder that life is too short to waste time being angry.
    Have a Pop Tart and a smile!
  • onyxgirl17
    onyxgirl17 Posts: 1,722 Member
    LMAO!
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
    Did someone say poptarts?
  • MsPudding
    MsPudding Posts: 562 Member
    Hrm....I like to eat clean and not consume anything with chemicals in them. - are these Pop Tarts pasture fed?
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  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Hrm....I like to eat clean and not consume anything with chemicals in them. - are these Pop Tarts pasture fed?

    they roamed the wild and were hunted this morning by expert marksmen
  • scaredofcoasters
    scaredofcoasters Posts: 90 Member
    The pastry is the problem. Poke a hole in it, and simply drink the high fructose corn syrup, It's a liquid, so it doesn't stay in your body as fat. Then throw the pastry away or give it to your dog. I dropped 3 dress sizes in a week with this miracle diet secret. :tongue:
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
    Mmmm, poptarts.

    After the post above, I ended up reading this as "mmmm, pooptarts" :/
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    i thought this was real
    i tried to google it
    shame on you all!
    LMAO

    be careful. you have to get Pop Tarts, not Pop Tards. Pop Tards are for a whole different problem and will not cleanse you.

    fail-owned-pop-tarts-fail1.jpg
  • ShannonECTD
    ShannonECTD Posts: 203 Member
    2378694_o.gif

    abs-body-boy-daily-poptart-funny-Favim.com-403045.jpg

    ^"Seems" like it worked for him....



    omg omg omg ooommmmgggg!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    2378694_o.gif

    abs-body-boy-daily-poptart-funny-Favim.com-403045.jpg

    ^"Seems" like it worked for him....

    omg omg omg ooommmmgggg!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    I feel so left out because I can't see these pics. When I click "quote" I can see the links in the quoted bit above, but when I copy and paste them into my browser I get the screen that says "Site Blocked. This web site has been blocked for violating regulations and laws of Kingdom of Bahrain."

    :sad:
  • AmandaReimer1
    AmandaReimer1 Posts: 235 Member
    Best. Thread. Ever.
  • kellie1055
    kellie1055 Posts: 80 Member
    OMG guys, I just found a pop tart recipe using only three ingredients....it tastes EXACTLY like a real pop tart..

    1 cup lard
    1 loaf of bread
    1 jar strawberry jelly
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
    I'll call it even. It's a lesson I needed to learn anyway.

    No crap. You've lost, what, 153 pounds counting calories or whatever?? You're probably not ready for the massive fat-burning power of a good Kellogg's colonic. Sigh. Amateurs.
    baseketball.gif
    I hear your sister's goin' out with Squeak!
    Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve Perry!
  • jubeesh
    jubeesh Posts: 156
    poptarts.jpg
    toxinz.jpg
  • jillybeansalad
    jillybeansalad Posts: 239 Member
    Thank you, OP... thank you. lol
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
    I love you. I will follow your poptart cleanse to the ends of the earth. lol
  • HealthfulLife
    HealthfulLife Posts: 28 Member
    This has to be a joke, right?!
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    I'll call it even. It's a lesson I needed to learn anyway.

    No crap. You've lost, what, 153 pounds counting calories or whatever?? You're probably not ready for the massive fat-burning power of a good Kellogg's colonic. Sigh. Amateurs.
    baseketball.gif
    I hear your sister's goin' out with Squeak!
    Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve Perry!
    I thought we agreed: no more Journey psyche-outs!

    And I shoulda been gone...
  • Alex
    Alex Posts: 10,137 MFP Staff
    Moving this topic to Chit-Chat, Fun, and Games... Thanks!
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
    Only go for the blueberry ones.

    Less sugar and carbs, because I said so.
  • MzCongeniality70
    MzCongeniality70 Posts: 352 Member
    should i take these orally or as suppositories?

    i feel like it would work better if i were uncomfortable in the process. you know what they say... no pain, no gain.

    weight loss is supposed to be difficult and i feel bad by cheating to get my results in 1 weekend instead of several months, so it would make me feel better if i could tell people how difficult it was.

    Whichever hole you decide to insert these cleansers, please grease liberally with butter prior to insertion...I think this is the only way they will be effective. Good luck!
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
    Huh? Now this I have to go and google.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    poptarts.jpg
    toxinz.jpg

    :love: :flowerforyou:
  • wendybird5
    wendybird5 Posts: 577 Member
    I was watching Dr Oz and he said that you have to get the strawberry pop tarts with frosting, freeze them then use the icing from the toaster strudels. Otherwise it doesn't work.

    Your body will have to heat up the frozen pop tart burning tons of fat and leaving all your muscle intact and the icing will help get all the "gunk" off your intestinal walls. If you eat 10/day you will lose 15 lbs over the weekend easy.

    To prove it, Dr. Oz pulled a woman from the audience, coated her in frosting, put her in a giant replica of a toaster and then made her crawl through a giant replica of a colon lined with Nutella to show the results. So it must be true.

    *fixed my typo
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    I was watching Dr Oz and he said that you have to get the strawberry pop tarts with frosting, freeze them then use the icing from the toaster strudels. Otherwise it doesn't work.

    Your body will have to heat up the frozen pop tart burning tons of fat and leaving all your muscle intact and the icing will help get all the "gunk" off your intestinal walls. If you eat 10/day you will lose 15 lbs over the weekend easy.

    To prove it, Dr. Oz pulled a woman from the audience, coated her in frosting, put her in a giant replica if a toaster and then made her crawl through a giant replica of a toaster lined with Nutella to show the results. So it must be true.

    hey. i think i saw that episode! he's such a wise and powerful wizard.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    lets add booze to that too,