Am I being unrealistic?

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  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
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    Don't settle for for this, because unless he changes before marriage...it's not likely he's going to change after.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Just Break Up


    Seriously...

    This. Not even joking. How on earth could you kiss or love on a guy with THAT bad of hygiene?
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    Sounds like severe depression, or just plain laziness. I would urge him to speak to someone about this because it is not normal adult behavior. Out of curiosity how do you respond to all this? Also I would make it very clear just because he is paying the bills and you are going to the school an doin the house work, the house work should not include cleaning up after him. I mean come on. Has he always been this way? if not I would say this depression.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    there are good guys out there
    in fact, they are right here under your nose.
    pick any one you want.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    And how on earth does his tooth brush get yellow when he doesn't even use it? :huh:
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    Is this real? I don't understand what the initial attraction was if this is how he is?
    No way, no effing way....
  • Pr1ncessWarrior
    Pr1ncessWarrior Posts: 69 Member
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    ditch that *kitten* you deserve so much better. Relationships are based on working together. the teeth and body washing thing wants to make by throw up...........Love you deserve so much better hes taking advantage of you. A real man will treat you like a princess and work with you to get things done not work against you like this slob is doing.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    My boyfriend does tons of *kitten* I find disgusting, but I'm not disgusted by him and I wouldn't post about it on a public forum.

    Point is, you're clearly disgusted with him. Time to move on.
  • beautifuldiskize
    beautifuldiskize Posts: 95
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    Go to the library or online and get the book He's Just Not That Into You. Read it and thank me after :)

    But seriously? I'm no neat freak, I never have been and everything you said disgusts me. There's a difference between messy and dirty.
  • angiegust
    angiegust Posts: 1
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    If you have talked to him and he see"s nothing wrong, I would end the relationship. That is hard! but it will not get better. Oh, and I would tell him that as well.
  • MayMaydoesntrun
    MayMaydoesntrun Posts: 805 Member
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    I would call troll, but I knew too many guys like that in college.

    yep...
  • DoingitWell
    DoingitWell Posts: 560 Member
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    I would call troll, but I knew too many guys like that in college.


    LOL
  • UKMarjie
    UKMarjie Posts: 257 Member
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    My boyfriend is 33 years old and in the obese range. He is 5'9'' and 230 pounds. He never works out. He showers about once a week. I never see him brush his teeth or floss. His toothbrush is yellow, no joke. He accidentally tipped over a can of soda in the guest room last night, didn't clean it up. I found it stuck to the carpet this morning. He never puts his dirty laundry in the hamper I bought for him. He has a custom large walk in closet and he leaves stuff all over the floor. We agreed that I can be in full time college if I clean the house; he pays the bills this year. He doesn't wear boxers and there is actually butt stain marks in his jeans. He will leave wrappers by the bed when there is a trash can less than a foot away. I know 'its my job' to clean everything but really?! Some days I want to scream. He shaves his pubic hairs in the shower, without the shower actually on, leaving a HUGE mess all over. He leaves his facial shavings all over the sink/counter in the bathroom. He is a chain smoker and wipes his crusty smoker lips on the bathroom towels... I dont know what to do. He smokes in his car but not the house. I wish he wouldn't smoke in the car, it looks like an ash tray but because I dont pay for it- 'I cant say anything.' Is it wrong of me to wish he would be a little cleaner? I am feeling used and its a huge turn off that he has become this messy.

    Beyond it being disrespectful it is just plain gross. I am sorry but no amount of whatever he is paying whilst you are in school is worth that.

    He needs an intervention - because surely others are noticing his hygiene issues and it could affect his staying in employment. I am sure you are correct in that he does sound as if something is up re: depression or whatever. It is hard to keep your spirits up if you are around someone who has basically given up on what most of what people in the west consider civilized. I stay at home and my husband takes the mickey every so often - like socks left in the living room, and not picking up his garbage in the kitchen, but personal hygiene is a line in the sand and I also feel that the minimum to be done is turning on a shower head to wash any body hair down the drain that is there. Sure you are cleaning but he doesn't have to make it harder (my deal with my husband is that he doesn't make my work harder by not maintaining things - like hanging up coats, putting things in the hamper, etc...if it doesn't get in the hamper or at least ON it (when the laundry bag is not inside) then it does not get washed - even if I know it is dirty...he is an adult and there is no excuse for disrespecting our house in that way).

    You need to renegotiate terms and if you care about him - call him on his slide in taking care of himself. You are not there to pander to your partner's worst excesses - sometimes helping is telling someone the harsh truth.

    You need to put your foot down and you need to be prepared to deal with the consequences. What does it say about your self esteem if you feel you aren't worth more than that!
  • DoneBroughtSexyBack
    DoneBroughtSexyBack Posts: 190
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    Just Break Up


    Seriously...

    This. Not even joking. How on earth could you kiss or love on a guy with THAT bad of hygiene?

    Agreed... I will say this often jokingly, but the guy doesn't sound any good for you... I mean I know that as an online audience we don't know the whole story, but it sounds like the two of you just aren't right for each other... not to mention the fact that he seems to act like a child. But as others have said... what the hell do you see in him?
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    When something sounds too good to be true (having someone support you financially while you go to school), it usually is.

    You would be much better off leaving him, getting a job, living alone and going to school part-time.

    I didn't read replies yet, but he doesn't seem to have many redeeming qualities, and you don't seem to be that in to him (how could you be?).

    Cut your losses, pack your stuff and leave him to his own filth and squalor.
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
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    skid marks in undies are to be expected
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    :noway: How and why are you attracted to him? Did you mean that at one point he wasn't like this and he became like this?

    Girl, find your spine and put a mofo in his place! I don't care if he's paying bills while you go to school! My man tells me that **** and I ain't having it. Today I looked at the pile of dishes and said, "What are you on dish strike or something?" I was running late for an appt with the baby and he washed them finally!!!! SPEAK UP! If you don't he won't take you seriously ever. And back up what you say. Or he really won't ever take you seriously. Okay. With that said, no you are not being unreasonable unless you're just taking his ****.
  • UKMarjie
    UKMarjie Posts: 257 Member
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    And how on earth does his tooth brush get yellow when he doesn't even use it? :huh:

    Lazy person who drinks cola, tea or coffee and doesn't rinse their brush when they occasionally use it...if he doesn't even wash himself do you reckon he would take the time to sort out his toothbrush?! Ick!
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    skid marks in undies are to be expected

    Hahaha! LOL My man does his own laundry!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

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