Your swear alternatives (no real profanity, please)

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  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
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    I don't have any alternatives that I regularly use myself, but I have an amusing anecdote from someone else--

    At my sister's wedding, my sister's maid of honor and best friend was trying VERY hard to control her sailor mouth around the groom's very conservative parents while we were getting everything set up. So when she was frustrated with something, instead of swearing, she just got this funny smile on her face and proclaimed, "God Bless America!"

    I had to keep ducking out of sight because it made me snort every time :laugh:
    I've been known to use that one (God bless America) quite a lot myself. lol But mostly, these days, I'm just really bad about having a potty mouth. I need to get back to using substitutes. I used to say friggin' a lot. Crap. Shoot. Daggone it. Those are all I can remember currently. Perhaps if I substituted more frequently I would remember more. :embarassed:
  • MSeel1984
    MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
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    I say Rats a lot...I am made fun of a LOT for it...I got in the habit...

    Butts. I say Butts a lot. Or hairy man butts...Lol. I know. Stupid. Depends on how angry I am.
  • mageepilot
    mageepilot Posts: 289 Member
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    New favorite is 'slippers!' You have to watch the Ni Hao Kai-Lan episode with her grandfather. LOL! When my grandaughter was watching it my husband and I were both saying WHAT did they say?!?! I think you can find it on you tube. :laugh:
  • horseplaypen
    horseplaypen Posts: 442 Member
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    I met an old lady once who used to say "oh, sugar". She was awesome. :)

    I don't use any alternatives myself. I'm a traditionalist, I guess.
  • ivyana25
    ivyana25 Posts: 76
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    shut the front door!!!
  • TheRunningGuppy
    TheRunningGuppy Posts: 651 Member
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    Fish fart. My boys (3 & 9) think that's hilarious. Friggin or freakin, but that is too close to the real thing, and the boys are starting to copy me on that one. Man, why do they have to repeat everything I say?! Oh well, life of a parent I spose.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    I don't use alternatives. I don't see the point in saying "shoot" instead of the four letter version. All you're doing is changing a few vowels but the intent is still there. Who decides which words are "bad?" Just seems silly.

    Offense at a word is silly, extremely silly. But I don't want my kids using the words, and dealing with the judgement from teachers and parents that invariably follows. It's a social norm, and life is a lot easier when you follow social norms. If my kids wish to shun them when their older, and deal with the repercussions of that, then it's their decision. For now though I don't see the need to make their childhoods more difficult.
  • guzzlingil
    guzzlingil Posts: 60
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    Son Of A Bingle.

    mutha sucka.
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
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    SON OF A BISCUIT!

    This!!!

    And Horse Hockey ( from Col. Potter/MASH)
    I thought it was horse puckey? lol
  • lilmissbamaqueen
    lilmissbamaqueen Posts: 184
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    Great googly moogly!

    Effin' a! (not really a swear word)

    Crapola

    Dadgummit
  • llmcconnell
    llmcconnell Posts: 344 Member
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    F bomb- Fudge Monkeys! Its satisfying because contains both fuh and k sound!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    I have a total trucker mouth...but I do have a few phrases I use:

    "Son of a motherless goat" is one of my personal favorites
    "Futhermucker" is another I use fairly often
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    Fish fart. My boys (3 & 9) think that's hilarious. Friggin or freakin, but that is too close to the real thing, and the boys are starting to copy me on that one. Man, why do they have to repeat everything I say?! Oh well, life of a parent I spose.

    Could be worse. I have a bad habit of combining swears. The other day the garbage truck was on the way around, and I'd yet to put out the garbage. I ran down the stairs saying s---f---s---f---s---f---s---f--- without seeing that my daughter was just out of sight in the next room. Of course I got to the bottom of the stairs to an innocent look and "s---f---?". I could have died. Or been murdered by my wife, who was also right there.
  • basillowe66
    basillowe66 Posts: 432 Member
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    I once heard the statement that " four letter words were made so the uneducated can converse with the educated. After hearing that I really have watched my words. There really are a lot of words to replace the 4 letter words that you could use in front of a preacher. You can get your point across with out profanity. Now I say that and I am not a ggodie 2 shoes. I enjoy sex and so forth, I just don't cuss
  • bethgames
    bethgames Posts: 534 Member
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    Flippin
    Son of a Gun
    For crying out loud!
    Good Lord!
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    Son of a biscuit eater

    Fudgsicles

    Christ on a cracker (or on a pogo stick)

    Dagnabbit
  • ilovescarymovies
    ilovescarymovies Posts: 202 Member
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    Frick, Frack, Friggin, Freakin, mofo, snit, spit, poop, sneezus, fizz, snitzel, shizel fizz, and im sure many more lol
  • aerochic42
    aerochic42 Posts: 822 Member
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    rat monkey
    biscuit eater

    or a series of unitelligible syllables (kind of like Mutley from Yogi Bear)
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,311 Member
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    when I worked at the Scout Camp as a counselor we were reprimanded for swearing in front of the campers so we used the word JAFW (Jaw Fwah) Just another F***ing wound. Generally that's when you would swear. falling into a fire, cutting your hand, severing a limb with an axe... It became necessary to swear some times :)
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Fudge!

    Son of a biscuit-eater!

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