The downside of being cute...

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  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.
  • FoxyLifter
    FoxyLifter Posts: 965 Member
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    I found this excuse to be kind of weird so I asked my husband for a frank answer.

    He said that he's either cheating or he just isn't attracted to you anymore.

    I thought that this was harsh and there maybe a medical reason, but the explanations he gave are likely. :frown:
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    That sounds like a tough one. I look young, too, so I kinda have the same problem. Maybe try to dress sexier for him, and add a little extra makeup? Thats all I got!
  • bachooka
    bachooka Posts: 719 Member
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    It kind of sounds like he isn't sexually attracted to you... which means that your relationship is kind of doomed. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially since it seems to be a big thing for you.

    My husband started backing off sexually... turned out he was cheating.
  • kimmiedunne
    kimmiedunne Posts: 82 Member
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    My fiancee says I'm cute AND sexy and he ALWAYS wants sex...I'm the one who turns him down sometimes! LOL - I'd say if he doesn't think you're sexy anymore than I'd get rid of him!
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    I look young, I don't have this issue. I think there is some deeper problems here.. I would get ready to move on hunny bun.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    Last time I dated a guy and the sex got "less and less" he was cheating.
    This. If he's not shagging you at every opportunity he's either gay or cheating.
  • rebelate
    rebelate Posts: 218 Member
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    I feel like when I was bigger I was "cute" and the more I lose the ~sexier I get.

    I would ask him honestly, what makes you cute, what you can do to become sexy, and ask him if he is sexually attracted to you, what has changed his level of attraction to you - if there is something more than just losing weight.

    There might be numerous reasons that don't involve you, but he's just using you being "cute" as a scape goat.
  • TC1728
    TC1728 Posts: 264 Member
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    I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.

    What the hell is wrong with him!?!?!?!?!?!?!
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.
    Ummm. He's either dead or into guys.
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    I really, really don't think he's cheating. I suggested we have sex with other people because I'm obviously not "sexy" and he's getting chubby anyways. He was very opposed to it, but, you never know.

    He has a thing for MILFs. Never lied about that, but, bonus, I have a kid! So I guess that makes me a MIDLTF.....?

    If you have to suggest having sex with other people, then this obviously isn't a very good relationship!
  • Seachicken84
    Seachicken84 Posts: 98 Member
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    Ok from a guys point of view only. He is either A) no longer "into" the relationship and his eye has wandered B) as mentioned previous, his sex drive is low C) is just looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship or D) is actually gay. Because again from a guys point of view his reason is pretty lame. You are cute, and guys love cute. Cute is a great thing, so don't for a second think it's a problem. It's probably worthy of digging deeper. I won't suggest looking for the next mr right nor am I suggesting you accept his reason and stay. You obviously have a serious relationship issue here. If you feel he is worth it, discover the actual issue. If you dont think he is worthy of your awesomeness, then find a guy that embraces your cuteness. just don't let his statement let you feel like being cute is bad or wrong.

    Good luck to you.
  • darlilama
    darlilama Posts: 794 Member
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    I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.

    What the hell is wrong with him!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    I was thinking that and I don't even swing that way. :laugh:
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I can't really offer any advice unfortunately (I've never been called "childlike"), but I definitely can sympathize-- I feel your pain on the not-enough-sex front. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend is wonderful in bed, but his depression means that his sex drive is very low for a 'typical' guy. And unfortunately, mine is unusually high for a girl-- as in, I want it multiple times a day! :'(
  • Crawkins
    Crawkins Posts: 32
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    Jesus, I sound like such a brat sometimes, but he is, literally, everything I would want in a man. We are the best couple I could imagine, except for the frequency of sex.

    I can't imagine how I would feel if he was considering leaving me based solely on the fact I didn't want to have sex as often as he did. Indignant, that's how I'd feel. I know lots of women complain because their guy wants it too frequently.


    But yeah, saying he thinks I'm childish does sound kind of like an excuse.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    Last time I dated a guy and the sex got "less and less" he was cheating.
    This. If he's not shagging you at every opportunity he's either gay or cheating.

    It's nice to know that there's no reason a guy could ever lose his sex drive except for those two factors... :noway:
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    It sounds like a cop-out to me, but let's pretend it isn't:

    So what he's really saying is that he doesn't find you sexually attractive? I mean, what's the real difference between "You're too cute and child-like" versus "You're too old and ugly"? It still comes down to the fact of him telling you that you're not what he likes. I'd start making exit plans.
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    ...You are cute, and guys love cute. Cute is a great thing, so don't for a second think it's a problem...

    Good luck to you.

    This makes me feel a lot better!! My husband says that he loves how "chute" I am. It makes me feel like I'm not beautiful, but he said that I'm cute and that's the best way to be.
  • eylia
    eylia Posts: 200 Member
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    It sounds like an excuse to me, and a bad one. We can't help what we are (I'm 22 also, petite and almost flat chested, am mistaken as an adolescent all the time) and I've never had someone I was with say anything like that to me. Sure, perhaps people have dismissed me as an interest because of if, but they just never started anything-which is fine. He was attracted to you at first, obviously, and so it makes no sense that his opinion would have changed (unless he means he finds you emotionally immature/'cute" as well). Don't let it affect your opinion of yourself; being sexy isn't all about your looks, and sometimes it just doesn't work. Move on and find someone who likes you for you, the fact you wanted to be more open in your relationship and describe him as chubby doesn't make things sound too perfect anyway.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.

    Does not compute.

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