The downside of being cute...

Sharkington

Glad to see you two are working on things; you must really love this guy. I don't think I could ever feel or want to be sexual towards a person once they told me they found it difficult to be sexually attracted to me. :noway: Best of luck to you. I hope everything works out for the best - just be sure to look out for yourself. :flowerforyou:

eric_sg61

Weed kills sex drive,

LOL, no. Back in the day I was high 24/7, and I was 'up' that entire time. 7-8 times a day was not uncommon, I needed to call a doctor cause it lasted more than 4 hours.

BurtHuttz

Glad to say everyone, a certain little lady got ravaged when he got home from work without a mention of anything!
We're working on stuff.
And porn addiction? HAH. We both watch it, every day, and we do it together sometimes.
He realizes he's on the road to losing a good thing so we are both going to put forth effort to do better. You don't have to be married to want to work things out.

Thanks all for the advice! Much appreciated

Working on this, rather than giving up, shows wisdom beyond your years.

sbbhbm

Weed kills sex drive,

LOL, no. Back in the day I was high 24/7, and I was 'up' that entire time. 7-8 times a day was not uncommon, I needed to call a doctor cause it lasted more than 4 hours.

Too funny. When I used to get high- I'd have this odd little thing that happened... if I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and then opened them, I'd have an orgasm. I have no idea why. Some days I wish I wouldn't have quite smoking :laugh:

Well, since the OP has some resolution to her problem, I'm going to hi-jack the post for a second, because my inbox has gotten seriously flooded by people who read my original comment, wanting to understand what I mean and also offering sympathy.

First- thank you all for your sympathy. I appreciate your encouraging words.

Second- I asked him why he ever even asked me to marry him, and it boiled down to the fact that he knows I'll never be unfaithful to him and that in every other way he thinks we're a good fit. We were best friends. To every woman out there that may be secretly fantasizing that her platonic male best friend will someday magically realize she's the perfect woman for him... good luck with that. He said he thought he could overcome the lack of attraction because everything else just made so much sense, but six years later and it's worse then ever. He said he never thought he would resent me for not being attractive enough, but he does. And the resentment is turning into bitterness, and has started becoming verbal abuse. Sex is extremely important to both of us- and it sucks for me that I happen to find my husband absurdly attractive and would jump him 5 times a day if he had any interest at all. He used to be more obliging, but since I've gone from a 0 to a 4/6, he also has a problem now with my weight. He said he used to be able to at least focus on my body, because my build was similar to his preference (which is why he thought he'd be able to develop some attraction) but now that I've gained weight he finds me pretty repulsive. He likes extremely thin women. We have sex maybe once every three weeks, when he physically cannot withstand it anymore. It's quick and to the point, and pretty much treated like a bodily function. And no, he's not cheating on me. He has stressed some worry about it, because he doesn't want to. He really does want our marriage to work. He has started to see a counselor, and we've gone to marriage counseling. He met with our marriage counselor a few times without me before we started going- and the counselor looked at him when I walked in the room and said "THIS is your wife?" And when I asked him to explain that comment, he said "The way your husband described you, I was expecting you to weigh like 300 pounds and be very homely". (As an FYI, I had already lost all my weight years before he and I met, he never saw me heavy.) He looked at my husband and said straight up "your wife is beautiful. I'm not really sure I can help you, because this might be something deeper than just a marriage counselor can handle". He recommended a friend of his to my husband, and that's who he's seeing now. So far, it's not gotten much better, but I have hope. If I ever lose hope, I will leave.

5ftnFun

Weed kills sex drive,

LOL, no. Back in the day I was high 24/7, and I was 'up' that entire time. 7-8 times a day was not uncommon, I needed to call a doctor cause it lasted more than 4 hours.

Too funny. When I used to get high- I'd have this odd little thing that happened... if I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and then opened them, I'd have an orgasm. I have no idea why. Some days I wish I wouldn't have quite smoking :laugh:

Well, since the OP has some resolution to her problem, I'm going to hi-jack the post for a second, because my inbox has gotten seriously flooded by people who read my original comment, wanting to understand what I mean and also offering sympathy.

First- thank you all for your sympathy. I appreciate your encouraging words.

Second- I asked him why he ever even asked me to marry him, and it boiled down to the fact that he knows I'll never be unfaithful to him and that in every other way he thinks we're a good fit. We were best friends. To every woman out there that may be secretly fantasizing that her platonic male best friend will someday magically realize she's the perfect woman for him... good luck with that. He said he thought he could overcome the lack of attraction because everything else just made so much sense, but six years later and it's worse then ever. He said he never thought he would resent me for not being attractive enough, but he does. And the resentment is turning into bitterness, and has started becoming verbal abuse. Sex is extremely important to both of us- and it sucks for me that I happen to find my husband absurdly attractive and would jump him 5 times a day if he had any interest at all. He used to be more obliging, but since I've gone from a 0 to a 4/6, he also has a problem now with my weight. He said he used to be able to at least focus on my body, because my build was similar to his preference (which is why he thought he'd be able to develop some attraction) but now that I've gained weight he finds me pretty repulsive. He likes extremely thin women. We have sex maybe once every three weeks, when he physically cannot withstand it anymore. It's quick and to the point, and pretty much treated like a bodily function. And no, he's not cheating on me. He has stressed some worry about it, because he doesn't want to. He really does want our marriage to work. He has started to see a counselor, and we've gone to marriage counseling. He met with our marriage counselor a few times without me before we started going- and the counselor looked at him when I walked in the room and said "THIS is your wife?" And when I asked him to explain that comment, he said "The way your husband described you, I was expecting you to weigh like 300 pounds and be very homely". (As an FYI, I had already lost all my weight years before he and I met, he never saw me heavy.) He looked at my husband and said straight up "your wife is beautiful. I'm not really sure I can help you, because this might be something deeper than just a marriage counselor can handle". He recommended a friend of his to my husband, and that's who he's seeing now. So far, it's not gotten much better, but I have hope. If I ever lose hope, I will leave.

This is so sad. My takeaway is that he may like you, but he doesn't love you. Either that, or he is extremely shallow. Or maybe he's both. I hope things work out, and if not, that you have the courage and strength to do what you need to do.

Cr01502

God I wish I had found this thread at page one.

That_Girl

Sorry, he's lying. He's probably got someone else and thinks this is the best way to let you down.

I'm "cute" but still get lots of sex from my love. I'd talk to your SO and tell him to cut the shet and be real with you. Something is up.

sunnyside1213

I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.

I was married to a man who was very into me until the wedding. Then he said he didn't have to perform anymore. It was hell. Dump him.

diodelcibo

Sorry, he's lying. He's probably got someone else and thinks this is the best way to let you down.

I'm "cute" but still get lots of sex from my love. I'd talk to your SO and tell him to cut the shet and be real with you. Something is up.

Probably not this some guys just aren't attracted to girls that have the young/cute look.

Crawkins

Too funny. When I used to get high- I'd have this odd little thing that happened... if I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and then opened them, I'd have an orgasm. I have no idea why. Some days I wish I wouldn't have quite smoking :laugh:

Well, since the OP has some resolution to her problem, I'm going to hi-jack the post for a second, because my inbox has gotten seriously flooded by people who read my original comment, wanting to understand what I mean and also offering sympathy.

First- thank you all for your sympathy. I appreciate your encouraging words.

Second- I asked him why he ever even asked me to marry him, and it boiled down to the fact that he knows I'll never be unfaithful to him and that in every other way he thinks we're a good fit. We were best friends. To every woman out there that may be secretly fantasizing that her platonic male best friend will someday magically realize she's the perfect woman for him... good luck with that. He said he thought he could overcome the lack of attraction because everything else just made so much sense, but six years later and it's worse then ever. He said he never thought he would resent me for not being attractive enough, but he does. And the resentment is turning into bitterness, and has started becoming verbal abuse. Sex is extremely important to both of us- and it sucks for me that I happen to find my husband absurdly attractive and would jump him 5 times a day if he had any interest at all. He used to be more obliging, but since I've gone from a 0 to a 4/6, he also has a problem now with my weight. He said he used to be able to at least focus on my body, because my build was similar to his preference (which is why he thought he'd be able to develop some attraction) but now that I've gained weight he finds me pretty repulsive. He likes extremely thin women. We have sex maybe once every three weeks, when he physically cannot withstand it anymore. It's quick and to the point, and pretty much treated like a bodily function. And no, he's not cheating on me. He has stressed some worry about it, because he doesn't want to. He really does want our marriage to work. He has started to see a counselor, and we've gone to marriage counseling. He met with our marriage counselor a few times without me before we started going- and the counselor looked at him when I walked in the room and said "THIS is your wife?" And when I asked him to explain that comment, he said "The way your husband described you, I was expecting you to weigh like 300 pounds and be very homely". (As an FYI, I had already lost all my weight years before he and I met, he never saw me heavy.) He looked at my husband and said straight up "your wife is beautiful. I'm not really sure I can help you, because this might be something deeper than just a marriage counselor can handle". He recommended a friend of his to my husband, and that's who he's seeing now. So far, it's not gotten much better, but I have hope. If I ever lose hope, I will leave.

Oh sweetie, you do deserve so much better. Regardless of your age, you are the youngest you'll ever be Right Now, and living in such an unhappy situation for so long is something no one should go through. As much as everyone here told me I should dump the guy and move on, you absolutely deserve to be happy too! There are dozens and dozens of men who would and will be compatible with you in every way. There's no reason you and hubs can't be friends, amazing friends, just because you acknowledge there is no sexual compatibility.

None of us can tell you what actions you should take. We can tell you that you deserve to be happy and you should do what you know will bring you the most joy in your life.

ghhosstt

I really, really don't think he's cheating. I suggested we have sex with other people because I'm obviously not "sexy" and he's getting chubby anyways. He was very opposed to it, but, you never know.

He has a thing for MILFs. Never lied about that, but, bonus, I have a kid! So I guess that makes me a MIDLTF.....?

something's amiss. Like others have mentioned, he was attracted to you at some point, not looking for a daughter to babysit. You mentioned him getting chubby, could it be his own insecurities at work? Maybe he doesn't realize this and he's putting it all on you. I know when I am not looking my best I want nothing to do with sex.

Apologies if I missed anything, I didn't read through the whole thread.

sugar_cookie31

There is no hidden meaning behind what men say. You are beautiful and young. Every woman should be with a man who thinks their girl is sexy and more beautiful then anyone else. Do not let his hurtful confession make you doubt yourself and try 2 change. You are no where close to your sexual peak, if he can not keep up now... Just saying. Sex is important. Love is a choice. You make it daily, and that physical bond can see you through tough times and keep a relationship strong!

SerenaFisher

This would be a red light to me, obviously you're sexual desires haven't worked well since the start perhaps you should try dating somebody with similar desires as you?

BinaryPulsar

I'm glad to hear that all is well and working out. Of course none of us know what's going on in your relationship or how long you have been together, etc. And everyone has different challenges and different relationships, so maybe we don't all understand this particular one.

mockchoc

Play with his prostate. That'll be $50. thanks.

confab151

The downside of being cute, said no one who was really cute. Ever.

JJordon

I think it might just be a cop out. Get rid of him, work on you. You'll find someone better.

Yep, you might just need a monogamous horndog. Just sayin'.

mockchoc

I was always told I was cute and always had multiple guys after me at once. It probably is the pot and being overweight. Both make you lazy.

Minerva624

This is all foreign to me because I've never been with anybody but he sounds like he might just be experiencing low libido. Give it some time and you'll know what's up sooner or later. Good luck...

jcmartin0313

I was always told I was cute and always had multiple guys after me at once. It probably is the pot and being overweight. Both make you lazy.

Lets go back to the whole prostate thing

mockchoc

I was always told I was cute and always had multiple guys after me at once. It probably is the pot and being overweight. Both make you lazy.

Lets go back to the whole prostate thing

Where shall we start? Do you need directions lol?

gerard54

Probably not a whole lot...

jcmartin0313

I was always told I was cute and always had multiple guys after me at once. It probably is the pot and being overweight. Both make you lazy.

Lets go back to the whole prostate thing

Where shall we start? Do you need directions lol?

Perhaps you can assist me?

mockchoc

I was always told I was cute and always had multiple guys after me at once. It probably is the pot and being overweight. Both make you lazy.

Lets go back to the whole prostate thing

Where shall we start? Do you need directions lol?

Perhaps you can assist me?

:blushing: he'd get jealous. Sorry.

jcmartin0313

I was always told I was cute and always had multiple guys after me at once. It probably is the pot and being overweight. Both make you lazy.

Lets go back to the whole prostate thing

Where shall we start? Do you need directions lol?

Perhaps you can assist me?

:blushing: he'd get jealous. Sorry.

He who? No one needs to know lol

mockchoc

I was always told I was cute and always had multiple guys after me at once. It probably is the pot and being overweight. Both make you lazy.

Lets go back to the whole prostate thing

Where shall we start? Do you need directions lol?

Perhaps you can assist me?

:blushing: he'd get jealous. Sorry.

He who? No one needs to know lol

bend over. oops I meant yeah just the whole of mfp including my friends/relatives reading it :bigsmile:

grrrlface

Being ' cute' always worked to my advantage

My guy calls me cute but also sexy, beautiful, gorgeous. I don't know, I wouldn't be happy if I basically got told I'm too cute to have sex with that doesn't make sense.. o.O

It could be a confidence thing if you say he's getting a little chubby while you're working on looking fabulous that or he's full of it and needs dumping. x)

Dolly1209

It kind of sounds like he isn't sexually attracted to you... which means that your relationship is kind of doomed. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially since it seems to be a big thing for you.

Totally agree with this ^^

theycallyoumister

Smart is sexy.

PghPensFan69

I have the same problem :ohwell: