The downside of being cute...

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  • JonathonMars
    JonathonMars Posts: 358 Member
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    Well, first...

    I don't know how I feel about the whole concept of getting out since there are problems. Sure, something sketchy might be up, but maybe not. Couples should at least try to work through things, right?

    I'm also amazed at how many people are so upset by the idea they might be with someone who doesn't find them sexy. I think that's kind of unrealistic.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
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    It kind of sickens me how many people apparently think OP should value frequent sex over an otherwise perfectly healthy-sounding relationship... good to know where all the horndogs are.

    Thats because sex is an important part of a relationship.
  • Crawkins
    Crawkins Posts: 32
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    It kind of sickens me how many people apparently think OP should value frequent sex over an otherwise perfectly healthy-sounding relationship... good to know where all the horndogs are.


    @Ramberta, you've made a lot of good points and I appreciate it. Our relationship is really great otherwise, and that's why I'm trying to find a solution instead of bailing just so I can get laid more often.

    He has gained about 20 lbs since we moved in together, and he was a heavy pot smoker, so I really do think that contributes to his lack of desire.
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
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    Just this guy's opinion, Make him tell you what is really going on. Finding you cute is not the reason he is denying you sex. If he won't tell you what is going on, ask him when he is drunk.

    What it sounds like is cheating, he wants to break up, or he enjoys you as a friend and is just gay.
    Sex is not the most important thing but it is up there.

    At 27 years old Erectile Dysfunction does not really seem likely.

    good luck Freddy !!!!
  • freddykid
    freddykid Posts: 265 Member
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    It kind of sickens me how many people apparently think OP should value frequent sex over an otherwise perfectly healthy-sounding relationship... good to know where all the horndogs are.
    I can't see how it could be perfectly healthy relationship if one is not attracted to the other. Regardless of if sex happens there should be an attraction. People you like and don't have sex with are just called your friends.
  • juggz212
    juggz212 Posts: 32
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    Last time I dated a guy and the sex got "less and less" he was cheating.

    That's very unfortunate, but lets not jump to conclusions it sounds like an excuse for something worse maybe he's having a sexual problem that he's too embarrassed to talk about if so look into some foods or supplements that will give his sex drive a kick in The *kitten*. If not go with what others here have said find out (if you haven't already) what turns him on and go with that, get more creative in the bedroom.

    "Find the exit" or "he's cheating!" Is way to too extreme.
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
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    hes not that into you.. sorry
  • freddykid
    freddykid Posts: 265 Member
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    It kind of sickens me how many people apparently think OP should value frequent sex over an otherwise perfectly healthy-sounding relationship... good to know where all the horndogs are.


    @Ramberta, you've made a lot of good points and I appreciate it. Our relationship is really great otherwise, and that's why I'm trying to find a solution instead of bailing just so I can get laid more often.

    He has gained about 20 lbs since we moved in together, and he was a heavy pot smoker, so I really do think that contributes to his lack of desire.

    Never-mind anything I said, heavy pot smoker explains it all.
  • xXxHBICxXx
    xXxHBICxXx Posts: 370 Member
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    Sorry, have to do this but I call bull****. Your beautiful, do not look childlike (or at least your photos aren't) I think he may be cheating as well ... confront him and find out the truth

    And for the peeps *****ing about "horndogs" sex is important in an exclusive relationship, it is not EVERYTHING but it is important. Her wanting more sex from the person she is in love with does not make her a horndog >.<
  • MarcPower
    MarcPower Posts: 67 Member
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    He has gained about 20 lbs since we moved in together,
    ^This. He might actually be feeling insecure about his body...especially as you are getting smaller. He also might be depressed which could explain the weight gain and the lack of libido.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    It kind of sickens me how many people apparently think OP should value frequent sex over an otherwise perfectly healthy-sounding relationship... good to know where all the horndogs are.


    @Ramberta, you've made a lot of good points and I appreciate it. Our relationship is really great otherwise, and that's why I'm trying to find a solution instead of bailing just so I can get laid more often.

    He has gained about 20 lbs since we moved in together, and he was a heavy pot smoker, so I really do think that contributes to his lack of desire.

    Yes and yes again. Weed kills sex drive, and weight gain can be a contributing factor to depression and/or anxiety, which also kills the mood. My boyfriend used to drink to excess almost daily and do DXM (cough syrup), so his situation has been pretty similar to yours. Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk in private.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    Sorry, have to do this but I call bull****. Your beautiful, do not look childlike (or at least your photos aren't) I think he may be cheating as well ... confront him and find out the truth

    And for the peeps *****ing about "horndogs" sex is important in an exclusive relationship, it is not EVERYTHING but it is important. Her wanting more sex from the person she is in love with does not make her a horndog >.<

    I didn't say the OP was a horndog-- only the people commenting telling her that she should dump her SO in favor of someone who would give her more sex, rather than stay with the guy she loves right now and try to work things out so that she CAN get more sex from the man she loves. Sorry if that was unclear.
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
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    Crop.

    Stilettos.

    Corset.

    Solved.

    JM
  • karenhray7
    karenhray7 Posts: 219 Member
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    (I really need to stop commenting before I read the whole thread. *facepalm*)
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
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    maybe he turned gay?
  • juggz212
    juggz212 Posts: 32
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    Get out now. If he isn't interested in sex he isn't interested in you. You aren't married to this guy you so go find someone who will be attracted to all of you.

    I've always been curious about this whole "marriage" thing so what your saying if she was married to him she should just suck it up and deal with it. As opposed to being bf/gf she should just walk out?
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    Just to be clear-- in my first post, I said that I desperately wish my boyfriend would bang me more often, because he is *Dr. Cox voice* re-he-heally good at it. If I had my way we'd do it 4-5 times daily.

    Unfortunately, the world just doesn't cater to our every needs, and neither do our SO's. The difference between a flash-in-the-pan relationship and a relationship that lasts is the ability to work through big issues like this instead of giving up.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    Crop.

    Stilettos.

    Corset.

    Solved.

    JM

    I must say I like your thinking.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
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    Get out now. If he isn't interested in sex he isn't interested in you. You aren't married to this guy you so go find someone who will be attracted to all of you.

    I've always been curious about this whole "marriage" thing so what your saying if she was married to him she should just suck it up and deal with it. As opposed to being bf/gf she should just walk out?

    i would think she meant its easy to leave a boyfriend vs. a husband where you have to go through divorce and all that ****.
  • topformfitness
    topformfitness Posts: 11 Member
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    Damn, that sounds kinda nuts. I think cute IS sexy! There's for sure different kinds of sexy. IMO sex isn't the main thing in a relationship, but it sure is important! There are times when my wife and I get so damn busy and tired (run our own businesses and have an awesome, active daughter) that we don't have sex as much, but we are always interested in it and look forward to it.

    Tell you what, I'll ask if she minds sharing me ... maybe I can help you out, LOL.

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