The downside of being cute...

bostonwolf

I think it might just be a cop out. Get rid of him, work on you. You'll find someone better.

This.

zombiesama

I'm sure it's the fact that he's gained weight and probably feels insecure.

Crawkins

Glad to say everyone, a certain little lady got ravaged when he got home from work without a mention of anything!
We're working on stuff.
And porn addiction? HAH. We both watch it, every day, and we do it together sometimes.
He realizes he's on the road to losing a good thing so we are both going to put forth effort to do better. You don't have to be married to want to work things out.

Thanks all for the advice! Much appreciated

foxro

OMG - google male physiology or talk to a doctor folks. There is a limited time period in a man's life where he has complete control over Mr. Whoopee.

When a guy "matures" physically and up to about age 13-16 on average Mr. Whoopee comes on when ever he wants. Thoughts of sex ? Heck no Mr. Whoopee is his own boss. Hell no, I`m not standing up in class to answer that question

From about 16-25 guys can usually tell Mr Whoopee to wake up on command.

After that Mr. Whoopee starts to become somewhat independant and doesn't always take orders even if the brain is ready to melt. As years go by, Mr Whoopee likes to take longer naps. That's when the Dr. or science will intervene to kick Mr. Whoopee and say, get the F up !!!

So even though you may think your dude is cheating or gay or whatever, it could be MR. Whoopee is gettin old like the rest of the body. So gals or guys, Mr Whoopee is not a machine that is always willing to do what the master commands. And the sooner you accept that, the better your relationship with your dude and MR Whoopee can be.

Again, if he had issues with it, she would know. Men still get hard in their 80s. Trust me, I know.

I love you Lori - I was starting to worry :flowerforyou:

You're still young. You're only 61. You have several years left. And you guys almost seem to become like teenagers again in the horndog department after age 60. And can we all get a "HELL YEAH" on the making of Viagra.

Thanks, I think you are providing some good advice here. The old saying on wandering...if you love it set it free, if it returns the love was true...oh well the thing about 60+ is true so HELL YEAH !!!!

MarcPower

Huzzah!

LadyOfOceanBreeze

:huh:

MarcPower

Glad to say everyone, a certain little lady got ravaged when he got home from work without a mention of anything!
We're working on stuff.
And porn addiction? HAH. We both watch it, every day, and we do it together sometimes.
He realizes he's on the road to losing a good thing so we are both going to put forth effort to do better. You don't have to be married to want to work things out.

Thanks all for the advice! Much appreciated

:drinker:

juggz212

Glad to say everyone, a certain little lady got ravaged when he got home from work without a mention of anything!
We're working on stuff.
And porn addiction? HAH. We both watch it, every day, and we do it together sometimes.
He realizes he's on the road to losing a good thing so we are both going to put forth effort to do better. You don't have to be married to want to work things out.

Thanks all for the advice! Much appreciated

WINNING!

Sorry I had to say that lol

_Lori_Lynn_

Glad to say everyone, a certain little lady got ravaged when he got home from work without a mention of anything!
We're working on stuff.
And porn addiction? HAH. We both watch it, every day, and we do it together sometimes.
He realizes he's on the road to losing a good thing so we are both going to put forth effort to do better. You don't have to be married to want to work things out.

Thanks all for the advice! Much appreciated

You all watch porn 'EVERY DAY?' Maybe it is just that you are a nymph and he is too exhausted to keep up with you (kidding, kidding).

I guess you two just a bump in the road. It happens to the best of couples. No one can be "on" all the time.

brandon0523

Be sure to spice it up.. no one likes the same 20 positions every time.. im 32 sex drive like no other. But when i suggest new things or dif positions and she says no.. there is only a three strike in all of life until the next player comes to bat

Sharkington

Glad to see you two are working on things; you must really love this guy. I don't think I could ever feel or want to be sexual towards a person once they told me they found it difficult to be sexually attracted to me. :noway: Best of luck to you. I hope everything works out for the best - just be sure to look out for yourself. :flowerforyou:

eric_sg61

Weed kills sex drive,

LOL, no. Back in the day I was high 24/7, and I was 'up' that entire time. 7-8 times a day was not uncommon, I needed to call a doctor cause it lasted more than 4 hours.

BurtHuttz

Glad to say everyone, a certain little lady got ravaged when he got home from work without a mention of anything!
We're working on stuff.
And porn addiction? HAH. We both watch it, every day, and we do it together sometimes.
He realizes he's on the road to losing a good thing so we are both going to put forth effort to do better. You don't have to be married to want to work things out.

Thanks all for the advice! Much appreciated

Working on this, rather than giving up, shows wisdom beyond your years.

sbbhbm

Weed kills sex drive,

LOL, no. Back in the day I was high 24/7, and I was 'up' that entire time. 7-8 times a day was not uncommon, I needed to call a doctor cause it lasted more than 4 hours.

Too funny. When I used to get high- I'd have this odd little thing that happened... if I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and then opened them, I'd have an orgasm. I have no idea why. Some days I wish I wouldn't have quite smoking :laugh:

Well, since the OP has some resolution to her problem, I'm going to hi-jack the post for a second, because my inbox has gotten seriously flooded by people who read my original comment, wanting to understand what I mean and also offering sympathy.

First- thank you all for your sympathy. I appreciate your encouraging words.

Second- I asked him why he ever even asked me to marry him, and it boiled down to the fact that he knows I'll never be unfaithful to him and that in every other way he thinks we're a good fit. We were best friends. To every woman out there that may be secretly fantasizing that her platonic male best friend will someday magically realize she's the perfect woman for him... good luck with that. He said he thought he could overcome the lack of attraction because everything else just made so much sense, but six years later and it's worse then ever. He said he never thought he would resent me for not being attractive enough, but he does. And the resentment is turning into bitterness, and has started becoming verbal abuse. Sex is extremely important to both of us- and it sucks for me that I happen to find my husband absurdly attractive and would jump him 5 times a day if he had any interest at all. He used to be more obliging, but since I've gone from a 0 to a 4/6, he also has a problem now with my weight. He said he used to be able to at least focus on my body, because my build was similar to his preference (which is why he thought he'd be able to develop some attraction) but now that I've gained weight he finds me pretty repulsive. He likes extremely thin women. We have sex maybe once every three weeks, when he physically cannot withstand it anymore. It's quick and to the point, and pretty much treated like a bodily function. And no, he's not cheating on me. He has stressed some worry about it, because he doesn't want to. He really does want our marriage to work. He has started to see a counselor, and we've gone to marriage counseling. He met with our marriage counselor a few times without me before we started going- and the counselor looked at him when I walked in the room and said "THIS is your wife?" And when I asked him to explain that comment, he said "The way your husband described you, I was expecting you to weigh like 300 pounds and be very homely". (As an FYI, I had already lost all my weight years before he and I met, he never saw me heavy.) He looked at my husband and said straight up "your wife is beautiful. I'm not really sure I can help you, because this might be something deeper than just a marriage counselor can handle". He recommended a friend of his to my husband, and that's who he's seeing now. So far, it's not gotten much better, but I have hope. If I ever lose hope, I will leave.

5ftnFun

Weed kills sex drive,

LOL, no. Back in the day I was high 24/7, and I was 'up' that entire time. 7-8 times a day was not uncommon, I needed to call a doctor cause it lasted more than 4 hours.

Too funny. When I used to get high- I'd have this odd little thing that happened... if I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and then opened them, I'd have an orgasm. I have no idea why. Some days I wish I wouldn't have quite smoking :laugh:

Well, since the OP has some resolution to her problem, I'm going to hi-jack the post for a second, because my inbox has gotten seriously flooded by people who read my original comment, wanting to understand what I mean and also offering sympathy.

First- thank you all for your sympathy. I appreciate your encouraging words.

Second- I asked him why he ever even asked me to marry him, and it boiled down to the fact that he knows I'll never be unfaithful to him and that in every other way he thinks we're a good fit. We were best friends. To every woman out there that may be secretly fantasizing that her platonic male best friend will someday magically realize she's the perfect woman for him... good luck with that. He said he thought he could overcome the lack of attraction because everything else just made so much sense, but six years later and it's worse then ever. He said he never thought he would resent me for not being attractive enough, but he does. And the resentment is turning into bitterness, and has started becoming verbal abuse. Sex is extremely important to both of us- and it sucks for me that I happen to find my husband absurdly attractive and would jump him 5 times a day if he had any interest at all. He used to be more obliging, but since I've gone from a 0 to a 4/6, he also has a problem now with my weight. He said he used to be able to at least focus on my body, because my build was similar to his preference (which is why he thought he'd be able to develop some attraction) but now that I've gained weight he finds me pretty repulsive. He likes extremely thin women. We have sex maybe once every three weeks, when he physically cannot withstand it anymore. It's quick and to the point, and pretty much treated like a bodily function. And no, he's not cheating on me. He has stressed some worry about it, because he doesn't want to. He really does want our marriage to work. He has started to see a counselor, and we've gone to marriage counseling. He met with our marriage counselor a few times without me before we started going- and the counselor looked at him when I walked in the room and said "THIS is your wife?" And when I asked him to explain that comment, he said "The way your husband described you, I was expecting you to weigh like 300 pounds and be very homely". (As an FYI, I had already lost all my weight years before he and I met, he never saw me heavy.) He looked at my husband and said straight up "your wife is beautiful. I'm not really sure I can help you, because this might be something deeper than just a marriage counselor can handle". He recommended a friend of his to my husband, and that's who he's seeing now. So far, it's not gotten much better, but I have hope. If I ever lose hope, I will leave.

This is so sad. My takeaway is that he may like you, but he doesn't love you. Either that, or he is extremely shallow. Or maybe he's both. I hope things work out, and if not, that you have the courage and strength to do what you need to do.

Cr01502

God I wish I had found this thread at page one.

That_Girl

Sorry, he's lying. He's probably got someone else and thinks this is the best way to let you down.

I'm "cute" but still get lots of sex from my love. I'd talk to your SO and tell him to cut the shet and be real with you. Something is up.

sunnyside1213

I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.

I was married to a man who was very into me until the wedding. Then he said he didn't have to perform anymore. It was hell. Dump him.

diodelcibo

Sorry, he's lying. He's probably got someone else and thinks this is the best way to let you down.

I'm "cute" but still get lots of sex from my love. I'd talk to your SO and tell him to cut the shet and be real with you. Something is up.

Probably not this some guys just aren't attracted to girls that have the young/cute look.

Crawkins

Too funny. When I used to get high- I'd have this odd little thing that happened... if I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and then opened them, I'd have an orgasm. I have no idea why. Some days I wish I wouldn't have quite smoking :laugh:

Well, since the OP has some resolution to her problem, I'm going to hi-jack the post for a second, because my inbox has gotten seriously flooded by people who read my original comment, wanting to understand what I mean and also offering sympathy.

First- thank you all for your sympathy. I appreciate your encouraging words.

Second- I asked him why he ever even asked me to marry him, and it boiled down to the fact that he knows I'll never be unfaithful to him and that in every other way he thinks we're a good fit. We were best friends. To every woman out there that may be secretly fantasizing that her platonic male best friend will someday magically realize she's the perfect woman for him... good luck with that. He said he thought he could overcome the lack of attraction because everything else just made so much sense, but six years later and it's worse then ever. He said he never thought he would resent me for not being attractive enough, but he does. And the resentment is turning into bitterness, and has started becoming verbal abuse. Sex is extremely important to both of us- and it sucks for me that I happen to find my husband absurdly attractive and would jump him 5 times a day if he had any interest at all. He used to be more obliging, but since I've gone from a 0 to a 4/6, he also has a problem now with my weight. He said he used to be able to at least focus on my body, because my build was similar to his preference (which is why he thought he'd be able to develop some attraction) but now that I've gained weight he finds me pretty repulsive. He likes extremely thin women. We have sex maybe once every three weeks, when he physically cannot withstand it anymore. It's quick and to the point, and pretty much treated like a bodily function. And no, he's not cheating on me. He has stressed some worry about it, because he doesn't want to. He really does want our marriage to work. He has started to see a counselor, and we've gone to marriage counseling. He met with our marriage counselor a few times without me before we started going- and the counselor looked at him when I walked in the room and said "THIS is your wife?" And when I asked him to explain that comment, he said "The way your husband described you, I was expecting you to weigh like 300 pounds and be very homely". (As an FYI, I had already lost all my weight years before he and I met, he never saw me heavy.) He looked at my husband and said straight up "your wife is beautiful. I'm not really sure I can help you, because this might be something deeper than just a marriage counselor can handle". He recommended a friend of his to my husband, and that's who he's seeing now. So far, it's not gotten much better, but I have hope. If I ever lose hope, I will leave.

Oh sweetie, you do deserve so much better. Regardless of your age, you are the youngest you'll ever be Right Now, and living in such an unhappy situation for so long is something no one should go through. As much as everyone here told me I should dump the guy and move on, you absolutely deserve to be happy too! There are dozens and dozens of men who would and will be compatible with you in every way. There's no reason you and hubs can't be friends, amazing friends, just because you acknowledge there is no sexual compatibility.

None of us can tell you what actions you should take. We can tell you that you deserve to be happy and you should do what you know will bring you the most joy in your life.