The downside of being cute...

Femmekid

Something smells fishy... :huh:

_Lori_Lynn_

It kind of sounds like he isn't sexually attracted to you... which means that your relationship is kind of doomed. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially since it seems to be a big thing for you.

My husband started backing off sexually... turned out he was cheating.

Yup. Sounds very familiar.

Men like, "strange". They love their wives and gfs. They have no interest in leaving them, but they want other women just for something different.

Genetically they were designed to spread their seed as much as possible. Things have changed since the making of man, but that didn't change.

MarcPower

A few tips:
1. Make him feel sexy. For example, the next time he looks great in a suit, compliment him on it.
2. Talk to him. Tell him that you find it really sexy when he initiates sex. He might simply expect you to initiate all of the time and isn't used to initiating too often.
3. Try not to pressure him into sex. He probably hates turning you down as much as you do and probably feels inadequate when he doesn't feel like he can perform.

_Lori_Lynn_

He has gained about 20 lbs since we moved in together,

^This. He might actually be feeling insecure about his body...especially as you are getting smaller. He also might be depressed which could explain the weight gain and the lack of libido.

I agree with this also. If he has gained weight and you are getting smaller this can be a clue. Also, he is 27 and you are 22, that is already a bit of an inferior thing, because when you're older you usually view younger as a prize or a plus, sometimes an intimidation thing.

MarcPower

ETA: ANother possibility could be a pornography addiction in his most severe form that the person loses interest in the reality of sex in favor of the fantasy of porn.

This is actually very possible. If you think he is into porn and you are ok with it, you could offer to try to incorporate some porn in the bedroom. However, if you aren't really cool with porn, don't do it...it would only lead to bad things!

foxro

OMG - google male physiology or talk to a doctor folks. There is a limited time period in a man's life where he has complete control over Mr. Whoopee.

When a guy "matures" physically and up to about age 13-16 on average Mr. Whoopee comes on when ever he wants. Thoughts of sex ? Heck no Mr. Whoopee is his own boss. Hell no, I`m not standing up in class to answer that question

From about 16-25 guys can usually tell Mr Whoopee to wake up on command.

After that Mr. Whoopee starts to become somewhat independant and doesn't always take orders even if the brain is ready to melt. As years go by, Mr Whoopee likes to take longer naps. That's when the Dr. or science will intervene to kick Mr. Whoopee and say, get the F up !!!

So even though you may think your dude is cheating or gay or whatever, it could be MR. Whoopee is gettin old like the rest of the body. So gals or guys, Mr Whoopee is not a machine that is always willing to do what the master commands. And the sooner you accept that, the better your relationship with your dude and MR Whoopee can be.

Again, if he had issues with it, she would know. Men still get hard in their 80s. Trust me, I know.

I love you Lori - I was starting to worry :flowerforyou:

_Lori_Lynn_

So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...

As of late, my (27 y/o) SO has been wanting sex less and less. I finally confronted him about it, and he admitted that he thinks I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.

I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!

I've always had a... voracious sexual appetite, and he's always been more mellow about it, but darn it, one can only go so long!

Do I need to make an extreme effort to "act sexy", or does he need to accept that I'm young looking? Both?

Thank you for ANY input on this matter, I know it's kind of weird.

He might be Gay...you are an attractive woman who works out. A puppy is 'cute'..a girlfriend has to be sexy.

yep....GAY.

So if a gay guys Mr whoopee doesn't rise to the occasion does that mean he's gone straight ?

LOL! It could be. It can take time to discover who you REALLY are or to come to terms with it rather.

MyChocolateDiet

So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...

As of late, my (27 y/o) SO has been wanting sex less and less. I finally confronted him about it, and he admitted that he thinks I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.

I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!

I've always had a... voracious sexual appetite, and he's always been more mellow about it, but darn it, one can only go so long!

Do I need to make an extreme effort to "act sexy", or does he need to accept that I'm young looking? Both?

Thank you for ANY input on this matter, I know it's kind of weird.

oh well she got laid, see below. problem solved. the end.

Ironhead3td

Check the computer history. Repeatedly. Check often to see how often the history is deleted, or Iphone or whatever. Could be pornography related.

_Lori_Lynn_

OMG - google male physiology or talk to a doctor folks. There is a limited time period in a man's life where he has complete control over Mr. Whoopee.

When a guy "matures" physically and up to about age 13-16 on average Mr. Whoopee comes on when ever he wants. Thoughts of sex ? Heck no Mr. Whoopee is his own boss. Hell no, I`m not standing up in class to answer that question

From about 16-25 guys can usually tell Mr Whoopee to wake up on command.

After that Mr. Whoopee starts to become somewhat independant and doesn't always take orders even if the brain is ready to melt. As years go by, Mr Whoopee likes to take longer naps. That's when the Dr. or science will intervene to kick Mr. Whoopee and say, get the F up !!!

So even though you may think your dude is cheating or gay or whatever, it could be MR. Whoopee is gettin old like the rest of the body. So gals or guys, Mr Whoopee is not a machine that is always willing to do what the master commands. And the sooner you accept that, the better your relationship with your dude and MR Whoopee can be.

Again, if he had issues with it, she would know. Men still get hard in their 80s. Trust me, I know.

I love you Lori - I was starting to worry :flowerforyou:

You're still young. You're only 61. You have several years left. And you guys almost seem to become like teenagers again in the horndog department after age 60. And can we all get a "HELL YEAH" on the making of Viagra.

_Lori_Lynn_

Check the computer history. Repeatedly. Check often to see how often the history is deleted, or Iphone or whatever. Could be pornography related.

That's sort of hot. I love when a guy likes porn. Call me weird, but I think it's a turn on.

barkin43

It kind of sounds like he isn't sexually attracted to you... which means that your relationship is kind of doomed. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially since it seems to be a big thing for you.

My husband started backing off sexually... turned out he was cheating.

Yup. Sounds very familiar.

oh your just barkin up the wrong tree

Not anymore--and I see what you did there. It was him who was barkin up the wrong tree or sniffin up the wrong ***! LOL!

MarcPower

A question:
Has he been in a long term relationship before? If not, he might not be used to having sex with the same person for a long time and sometimes the magic just isn't quite there. He probably is still attracted to you but he might appreciate the companionship and closeness of a longer term relationship more than the sexual side. I wouldn't jump to conclusions about cheating or his sexuality. Give the guy the benefit of the doubt and if you see more signs of cheating, then become more suspicious.

katy84o

Weed kills sex drive,

This is certainly not true for everyone!

ryry_

Check the computer history. Repeatedly. Check often to see how often the history is deleted, or Iphone or whatever. Could be pornography related.

That's sort of hot. I love when a guy likes porn. Call me weird, but I think it's a turn on.

Even if it gets so out of hand he loses sexual interest in you?

_Lori_Lynn_

From my personal experience with two of my ex. I could always tell when they were cheating, because they didn't want sex with me, they were getting it elsewhere. The lack of sex made me snoop and I would find evidence which they would make a story up for, but I knew what it meant. We'd fight, time would go on and eventually they were, "into" me again and I knew his fling or thoughts of "her" were gone.

And then it would happen again, just like I explained above. I hate to say it, but based on experience, I would say he is cheating on you. I don't like him. Get rid of him. Don't waste your time on a guy like this, because there are plenty of men out there who will not only find you cute BUT sexy too. There are plenty of men who will give you what you deserve, need, want and desire.

Just tell him, "if you won't, someone else will" and trust me they will. You don't need to settle for less than you deserve.

Or if you've read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". Men periodically pull away from a woman he loves, just because "it is what they do". If you chase him, he will continue to pull away, like a rubber band until he snaps and he is gone.

If you let him pull away, you will find when he has had his "time" or "space" or whatever it is men do, he will come back around and be more loving than before and appreciate you more, the relationship will naturally grow. He needs to pull away a few times to grow closer and then one day he proposes. Or he leaves. He needs his "pulling away" time to discover what he wants.

MarcPower

Check the computer history. Repeatedly. Check often to see how often the history is deleted, or Iphone or whatever. Could be pornography related.

Disagree with this. Relationships are built on trust and nothing good can come from this. If you suspect he is into porn and he hasn't told you he is into it, you could bring him to a sex shop and find a video that you works for both of you...once again, you have to feel completely comfortable with it though.

_Lori_Lynn_

Check the computer history. Repeatedly. Check often to see how often the history is deleted, or Iphone or whatever. Could be pornography related.

That's sort of hot. I love when a guy likes porn. Call me weird, but I think it's a turn on.

Even if it gets so out of hand he loses sexual interest in you?

I didn't know that was possible. I have never been with a guy who was so into porn he got disinterested in me. But I do think that is sexy. I am going to end the conversation here on the porn because I don't feel it is appropriate. I apologize, I shouldn't have said anything, it slipped.

seanezekiel

I don't think its a matter of to cute. I like cute girls more then other types. id say he is just losing his feelings for you and is more like just a friend now. It happens and it sucks.

ryry_

Check the computer history. Repeatedly. Check often to see how often the history is deleted, or Iphone or whatever. Could be pornography related.

That's sort of hot. I love when a guy likes porn. Call me weird, but I think it's a turn on.

Even if it gets so out of hand he loses sexual interest in you?

I didn't know that was possible. I have never been with a guy who was so into porn he got disinterested in me. But I do think that is sexy. I am going to end the conversation here on the porn because I don't feel it is appropriate. I apologize, I shouldn't have said anything, it slipped.

Fair enough.