Relocating for Love

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  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
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    I haven't relocated, but I was engaged within 3 weeks, married within 3 months of meeting him. Talk about risk taking! And we just celebrated our 14 yr anniversary.
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
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    I made plans to move 700 miles away for a boy....he got freaked out and broke up with me 2 months before I was supposed to leave after I'd enrolled in college and everything. I moved anyway and met another guy who lived about 70 miles away and refused to move again so he moved to be near me. Now I just moved across the world (literally...from Ohio to Japan) with him and we've been married almost 2 years. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't but if you're up for an adventure, it can be the greatest thing ever <3
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    Have you done it?
    Not for a dating relationship, but I was married to a soldier.... we lived in NY, AK, TX & HI during our marriage (10 years). Each time I had to quit my job and start over. Even though it's not the same as starting a new relationship, I would say it gives me a different perspective than most and makes me a little more open to the idea.

    Would you (re)consider it?
    For the right man, yes. But, the circumstances would have to be right. I'd have to know it was the real thing and forever. I also wouldn't jump into it right away. It's definitely something that I'd have to take time to consider.

    Is long Distance a deal breaker?
    No, but again the circumstances would have to be right. There would have to be travel between and a lot of open communication within the relationship.

    I do have issues to think about with relocation (selling my house, finding a job, my kids). My ex is in FL, so he wouldn't have problems if I moved south. However, I'd have to figure things out if I were moving elsewhere. It does make it a bit more complicated for me.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    I haven't relocated, but I was engaged within 3 weeks, married within 3 months of meeting him. Talk about risk taking! And we just celebrated our 14 yr anniversary.

    I :heart: You! Thanks J.
  • daphne_m
    daphne_m Posts: 84
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    If it's an international move, keep in mind that in some countries once you have a child with your new partner you aren't able to head home with that child should you decide that the relationship isn't working out. I've had the opportunity to move internationally with my (now) ex, and while children weren't really a concern, I didn't like the idea of being financially dependent on him. Remember that even if you are qualified to work in that country, getting a spousal visa often means you can't work while your application for residency is being processed. This can be anywhere from six months to several years. Are you okay with that?
  • LetsMakeupXtina
    LetsMakeupXtina Posts: 627 Member
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    I've never done it, But I think I would if it truly felt right. Sometimes you just know, and sometimes you just gotta take a big step like that.. otherwise you will never know and will live with a bunch of what if's and regrets... you only live once. and No one said the love of your life has to live close to you.. that would be too easy =P But yes.. for real, unbelievable, can't live without each other love.. It would be worth it... Sure it's not ideal and makes it harder, but it's not a deal breaker.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    @Daphne, I never thought of the Spousal Visa, but your saying I cant be employed, while Im waiting for that Visa to clear?
    Can I be self employed?
  • daphne_m
    daphne_m Posts: 84
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    It depends. I read through the thread but didn't see the destination until a PP mentioned Canada so I assume that's where you're planning to go. I've lived in a few countries and both had strict rules for spousal visas which meant that not only was the spouse unable to work for a period of time but that the party resident in the country had to be able to show they could support their new spouse. And yes, no working for yourself unless you do it under the table which is incredibly risky because if you're caught you can not only be subject to the tax laws of that country (prison, anyone?) but it would impact negatively on your application for residency.

    Obviously I'm not speaking about Canada's policies having no experience with them, but I think that most countries are going to have similar rules, particularly if the country is considered a desirable place to live ie has good medical coverage, generous welfare, schools, etc. Also, you have a child. Will your child be allowed to attend public schools free of charge? You need to investigate this and prepare for the cost of private education if need be.
  • daphne_m
    daphne_m Posts: 84
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    The alternative is to of course apply for a work visa, but that could be difficult as you have a dependant.
  • YourGirl_Tina
    YourGirl_Tina Posts: 962 Member
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    Forgot to mention I would not have seen Guam or CA if I hadn't "relocated" back in my early 20's. lol
  • GabyG69
    GabyG69 Posts: 213
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    I was in a long distance relationship for almost 7 years. Would I do it again? Probably not. But there is always the possibility I would if the right person came along..
  • piinchi
    piinchi Posts: 172 Member
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    My husband and I met while living 2000 miles apart. We took a year and a half to enjoy a little long-distance, and then I moved to Chicago once I finished grad school. We've been together 5 years in April, just got married in January :) It was a huge chance, but I believe with love you sometimes have to let your heart take you places you'd never expect.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    We'll see folks, like I said b4 I brought this topic out to the forums to see what every one thoughts are on the issue.

    Wish me luck, and thank you for all of your kind words and support.
    Im the kind of girl that believes we only live once and I don't want to live with the "what if's"
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
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    @Upgetup~ Your clearly misunderstanding me here.

    Respectfully disagree.
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
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    Sometimes you have to follow your heart, and if she's got it, u move...
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
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    My crush lives in california. if he asks me to relocate i'll pack my stuff and get on next plane. but he never will. forever aloooneeee:)
  • tegantheaverage
    tegantheaverage Posts: 142 Member
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    I'm Australian and my boyfriend is Scottish. We met in Australia, spent six months here, three months apart, two years in Scotland and now we're apart while he waits for his Australian visa and if he doesn't get it we won't think twice about moving to a country we can both get visas for.
  • tegantheaverage
    tegantheaverage Posts: 142 Member
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    I'm Australian and my boyfriend is Scottish. We met in Australia, spent six months here, three months apart, two years in Scotland and now we're apart while he waits for his Australian visa and if he doesn't get it we won't think twice about moving to a country we can both get visas for.

    In saying that, long distance is definitely not my favourite but is fine because we have a strong relationship and it's just a matter of time; If there weren't a way for us to be together at any point I probably wouldn't get involved in a long distance relationship.
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
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    I would do it in a heartbeat if it came to it. Life is an adventure! :heart:
  • grabenson7
    grabenson7 Posts: 88
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    yes i did it, move to be near my girlfreind now were married, was well worth it.

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