another fat shaming post

heroinnchic

Hmm.. If someone themselves take their before and after photo, are they fat shaming themselves?

They chose to lose weight in the first place, so no one could turn around and say someone is fat shaming them or vice versa because it happened in the first place.

There was a reason for them losing the weight, so even if someone WAS fat shaming them- just because someone says it out loud what you feel inside, shouldn't make them bad. When people get defensive, it's just a display of insecurity.

But hardly no one is paying attention to the before, they're paying attention to the transition.

BinaryPulsar

"Loving yourself the way you are" is one thing, "loving yourself enough to change and get healthier" is another. I am not at the weight I want to be, I am smaller than I was, so I am happy... but I do need to lose more weight so that I am healthy. The scale just shows numbers, your health, shows if you are at a good size or not. I think if these people had a health screening, they would find that maybe, just maybe they need to start actually loving themselves enough to change.

I agree with this.

BlueInkDot

I think the main problem is when people think that fat = ugly. Fat doesn't equal ugly. Hating yourself is ugly. Loving yourself is beautiful. You can be fat an love yourself and thus be beautiful. And you can be slim and healthy and hate yourself and thus be ugly.

#justsayin

Getyourshineon

Absolutely Motivational for me!! I need to see that others have succeeded at what I have so simply failed at over and over again. It gives me hope that I can get to my goal if I keep working on it. Yes, we should be all loved for who we are inside and not judged by our appearance but there will always be those that think less of overweight people and I pity them. When it comes to our physical and mental health and well being, we should use whatever is motivational and I don't see it as demeaning or shaming at all. These folks posting their pictures have worked hard to get to where they are now and it shows their strength, endurance, dedication. Kudos to the Brave!:drinker:

BaconMD

My before pics are terrifying. My scale was too scared to even tell me my weight, for crying out loud!

I SHOULD BE ashamed of what a waste I let myself become. Lord knows that I've shed tears during many a workout over how far I let myself go. I'm not afraid to admit that. I spent over a decade embracing the fat, thinking I was fine, thinking it was cool to pack away more food than anyone else at the table... I was a disgrace, seriously. I couldn't even breathe by the time I walked up 13 steps in a staircase. How is someone supposed to be proud of being in such a sorry state??

If anyone takes offense to people bettering themselves for their health, then they need to get bent.

heroinnchic

I think the main problem is when people think that fat = ugly. Fat doesn't equal ugly. Hating yourself is ugly. Loving yourself is beautiful. You can be fat an love yourself and thus be beautiful. And you can be slim and healthy and hate yourself and thus be ugly.

#justsayin

Sure, that's true, but there's a grey area when you get too big and are really putting your heart or bone/joints at risk, the REALITY OF THE SITUATION gets ugly. It's not natural, and as much as people say we're supposed to have meat on our bones- we're not supposed to be 100 to 200 pounds overweight.

dp1228

I think that's absoute bull****. Someone lost weight, they were proud of it, and they posted a before and after of their accomplishment. Since when is a before picture fat shaming? The person didn't want to be fat anymore and did something about it. Plain and simple.

I agree that the best progress is what you CAN'T see (being able to break though those negative mental barriers that caused us to turn to food as comfort in the first place), but let's not act like physical progress is a moot point.

And since WHEN is getting thin synonymous with weak and helpless? Let me break it down:

Fat me = not even being able to climb a flight of stairs without being winded

Fit me = Being able to run 5 miles for some "light exercise"

Guess which version of myself I would classify as weak and helpless? Give me a f***ing break.

I think it's motivating, and I post my pics to help motivate others with the same goals. No better feeling then knowing you helped inspire someone take control of their life.

Just because being fat is "good enough" for her does NOT mean it's good enough for me.

UsedToBeHusky

A progress pic says "Hey, I had a goal and I achieved it." If someone else looks at that and feels shamed, then they obviously have a problem (and I mean mentallly and emotionally) that they need to address. One's own self-image is internal and should not be built upon the world around you.

heroinnchic

^^^ Genius, dp1228

lesspaul

What is wrong with the view of the woman who thinks "before" pictures are fat-shaming, is that she is completely ignoring intent.

The intent of the picture is not to shame others, but to say "I wanted to make changes in my life, and I did!"

Is is couch-potato shaming to say you ran your first 5k? Or is it simply taking credit where credit is deserved?

Is is long-hair shaming to post a picture of your new haircut and say "I really like my new style better."

Is is family-car shaming to post your new arrest-me-red sports car on your facebook?

No. She is wrong, and clearly she has self image problems and she is trying to shift the responsibility onto others. If she is happy with her body, that's good enough for me, and it should be good enough for her too.

bootsiejayne

I do not see how it is fat shaming. It does make me a little sad when I read "here are the before pictures, I am so grossed out, ashamed, disgusted etc. etc. etc. about them so be nice." While I understand how people are not happy with where they come from I do think they need to be nicer to themselves - yes they WERE fat but look at them now you know?

I personally find them very encouraging and I use them myself, no shaming its nice to see the progress that i do not see myself everyday.

Love your ticker picture. It's awesome.

1Cor1510

If they are feeling "shamed" about before and after pics, it's just a symptom of the fact that there IS something wrong in their lives, and they are feeling defensive about something superficial (their weight) instead of dealing with the real reason they are overweight.

For many years, I just didn't want to deal with my weight, and that was okay, I wasn't unhealthy, or so I thought. Till my blood pressure started creeping up. When deciding to actually do something about it, I had to wrap my head around a new reality, a new truth, that I am worth taking care of. I want to be around for my kids, my husband, the people I love.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good as well. When you actually DECIDE to make that change, most people use multiple reasons for motivation, pictures, the number on the scale, body fat percentage, muscle tone, shopping, compliments, health, whatever gets you to take action.

I think feeling shamed is not necessarily a bad thing if that is how the pics make them feel. If they feel shamed, it's their inner self nudging them that maybe something is wrong and if they deal with whatever that is, maybe better health will follow.

Interesting, isn't it that most people at MFP find it motivating, to take action for what ever their reasons are for being here and shedding the pounds, probably because they made it past the "I can't believe I look like this" phase and are now in the "I'm going to DO something about this" phase.

bushidowoman

If someone feels "shamed" by looking at pictures of the progress from someone else's hard work, then maybe they really aren't all that happy with where they are? What they do with that is their own choice.

tlorance100

I didn't read the blog post, but from the way it was explained I think the woman just comes across as being jealous. Posting before and after pictures is no more fat shaming than posting college graduation pictures is shaming those that chose not to go the college route. Anyone who takes it that way is projecting their own self-esteem issues onto the other person. If she were truly happy with herself, this wouldn't be a problem, and she certainly wouldn't feel the need to put down those that have lost weight.

soldier4242

A progress pic says "Hey, I had a goal and I achieved it." If someone else looks at that and feels shamed, then they obviously have a problem (and I mean mentallly and emotionally) that they need to address. One's own self-image is internal and should not be built upon the world around you.

I completely agree. There was once a time where I was not able to juggle. I practiced and over time I leaned how to juggle. If I posted a video of my progress before during and after. Would people really watch that video thinking that I was trying to tell the world that I think people who can't juggle should be ashamed?

AlsDonkBoxSquat

No, and I think encouraging women to be unhealthy and out of shape keeps the weak and helpless. There is nothing weak or helpless about my fitness. I think progress pictures are motivational and visual proof that a goal that someone is striving for is being achieved, becoming fit isn't like painting a room, you don't necessarily see a difference with every stroke.

That being said, I think that any body shaming is wrong . . . size, shape, figure, form, color, contrast . . . and that not being able to see past these things harms the person with the negative thoughts the most. It's proof that the person judging is uncomfortable with their own skin and with defines their own self worth not with their own substance but their own form. At some point within the past 2 years I became more tolerant of others in my own thoughts, which allowed me to become more tolerant of myself.
The less I care other women's cellulite, the less I care about my own, the happier I am and the better I feel about how far I've come.

gingabebe

I have been on both sides of this debate, I used to look at other peoples progress and success and get real depressed and hate myself because obviously they were better than me because they had accomplished so much. One day my attitude changed and I was able to be encouraged and mildly motivated by it, now I love the success stories thread. So it depends on the person. But I had to learn to love myself right where I am. Maybe I will love myself more when I am thin but I love me right now too.

What an honest reply! I was thinking well, the haters - they are just jealous. I love looking at the before and after pics and use them as motivation, and will admit that I am a bit jealous. You're right in that we all need to love ourselves where we are at. It would be better to be overweight, but love yourself than hate yourself and be skinny. How many skinny people you know that are always finding faults with themselves? I know quite a few. I want to be healthy and feel getting the extra weight off is key- I have to carry 50 pound feed bags on the farm and think to myself "I have nearly 2 of these to get rid of!" Just think how much easier it will be for me to do physical things if the excess weight is gone!

UnderCoverShyGirl

I don't think it's shaming at all - people aren't posting to say that their fatter self was worthless, they are posting to show the difference. The real thing i find odd (and possibly shameful) is that people that have lost all their weight, don't keep their overweight pics....they only keep the ones of their "thinner" selves, as if the overweight person before did not exist and they don't want to be reminded or don't want others to see "what they once were". That feels much more shameful to me....of course it's on a more personal level, they aren't posting a thread....but i do find it very curious.

kdsp2911

Hmm.. If someone themselves take their before and after photo, are they fat shaming themselves?

They chose to lose weight in the first place, so no one could turn around and say someone is fat shaming them or vice versa because it happened in the first place.

There was a reason for them losing the weight, so even if someone WAS fat shaming them- just because someone says it out loud what you feel inside, shouldn't make them bad. When people get defensive, it's just a display of insecurity.

But hardly no one is paying attention to the before, they're paying attention to the transition.

EXACTLY!! If someone is ASHAMED of themselves when they were heavier and post before and after or progress photos then I guess you could consider it fat shaming...but themselves! Not others!

Being healthy is the number one goal, but shoot...if you were big your whole life and then you lose weight you want to show off your new sexy self! There is nothing wrong with that.

Now if people are posting pictures of OTHERS making derogatory remarks, yeah that's "fat shaming" but if it's yourself and you love the new you, FLAUNT IT!

JustForMe2

I don't think it's fat shaming. Unless they're like, "I was such a bad person BECAUSE I was fat..." that kinda stuff irks me - but I think it's great when people can use their bodies in a way that they were meant to be used. It's an accomplishment on HEALTH not vanity.