another fat shaming post
Replies
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Whether or not it is motivating is dependent upon an individuals goals. We all came her to shed weight, therefore, your responses will pretty much resonate with motivating. However, apparently this lady who made these comments intends to stay big. But rather than her being demotivated, because she really isn't motivated in the first place, it's more likely that it is causing her to feel some measure of guilt for treating her body so badly.
I soooo agree. These people do recognise that they're treating themselves badly but just don't want to admit it. I don't know one overweight person who is genuinely happy being overweight (me included) - despite what they like to pretend to themselves and everyone else. Think of all the restrictions on your life - you can't go and play with your kids, you struggle fitting into swings and rides at the park etc, your health suffers, you set a bad example for your kids, you struggle buying shoes & clothes cos you need wider fittings or bigger sizes. For instance, I'm not particularly large (UK 14) and I hate going into a normal high street stores to buy clothes. Why? Because it is so hard to find anything that fits well or makes me look and feel good in. If I feel that then surely someone bigger than me must feel that too!
Yes society makes everyone feel a bit pressured into being smaller / fitter / prettier etc but think what we'd become if there was no pressure and everyone just let themselves go - I dread to think!! I also think that it is natural to want to look and feel your best. Yes, everyone should be treated equally regardless of their size and yes it's ok to have curves - but when the curves become tyres of fat putting pressure on all your vital organs it's just not pretty regardless what anyone says.
These people just don't want to admit to themselves that their size makes them unhappy and unhealthy because that means that they need to make the first step and do something about it, and I think without a good kick up the backside or that first heart attack (if they survive it) to bring them into reality, sadly they just won't ever admit it to themselves because it requires effort and commitment which they're not willing to give - they've let it go to the point where it's easier for them to do nothing!
In my opinion this is a selfish attitude because they either don't think or don't care about the effect their lifestyle has on their family & friends who probably worry about them on a daily basis and not to mention the huge strain on the health service with billions of taxpayers money being spent every year on weight related illnesses. Being overweight is mostly self inflicted (there are some who are overweight through medical reasons) but it is also treatable and the money spent every year on obesity could be put to better use such as vital funding for research into cancer etc which is not treatable and not self inflicted.
Sure everyone struggles, but if you don't love yourself and respect your body the way you deserve to in order to enjoy your life, nobody else is going to do it for you and I for one would rather put in the effort to make sure that I am as fit and healthy as I can be in order to enjoy my life with my sons and to ensure that I will be there for them for as long as possible and to give them the best possible start in life by setting them the example they need to make sure that they know the importance of eating healthily and looking after themselves for when I'm not here.
Sorry if i ranted but these people just make me MAD!!! All it takes is a bit of effort even if it's only a little bit at a time - at least you're taking responsibility for yourself, your health and you're future.
You basically just described who I was before I realized who I was and decided to change. Everything you've said is completely true.. Very well worded.
Ditto :flowerforyou:0 -
Do they post the pics a few years later when NINETY FIVE PERCENT have gained back all weight lost ... and usually more? This is the reality. Those "after" photos are the photos of the FIRST part of the weight cycling process that CAUSES most people to gain more weight than when they started. To get OFF the WEIGHT CYCLING merry-go-round, focus on self-care and body appreciation in the body you have today. (And stop promoting your temp weight loss to encourage others to weight cycle.)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???????
This is a serious question.0 -
I find them very motivational. They lift my spirits on a day when I don't want to workout or want eat over goal. I'm proud of what they have done. their stories are just fantastic to me!0
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I think they're motivational. For the person positing it shows that they are proud of what they worked really hard for. If someone sees that as fat shaming that have some issues.0
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Do they post the pics a few years later when NINETY FIVE PERCENT have gained back all weight lost ... and usually more? This is the reality. Those "after" photos are the photos of the FIRST part of the weight cycling process that CAUSES most people to gain more weight than when they started. To get OFF the WEIGHT CYCLING merry-go-round, focus on self-care and body appreciation in the body you have today. (And stop promoting your temp weight loss to encourage others to weight cycle.)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???????
This is a serious question.
I sorta see what she is going for here. I truly believe that to have lasting weight loss you have to look at some of the emotional issues that led you to be fat in the first place. If you do not honestly address these issues they will arise again. When I was younger, not really that many years ago, I kept dieting with the thought that not only will I be thinner but everything will be better, I'll be different, more confident, cooler. Not so much. I was still me. There was just less of me. All of my issues with food and weight come from low self-esteem. Every single one of them. I am finally at a point in my life where I've been able to look at them honestly and openly. I have truly learned a lot about myself and in doing this my self-esteem has greatly improved. I now see myself as worth the effort to take care of myself, and that I should demand more of and for myself. When I came to this realization the diet and, more importantly, the exercise changes followed. I would exercise before and quit because it became painful and "well, you know your just going to quit anyway, you're not strong enough to do this" , but this time it is different. This time I know I'm strong enough to do this, that I'm capable of doing it. It's been a year and a half and I'm still doing it. I really feel the self-esteem and the self acceptance have to come first though.0 -
Hahah as it is my profile picture... To me it really helps me realize what I was doing to myself, and helps me seem mentally and physically I was slowly killing myself. It reminds me to never become that person again! I have come to far to look back and its just a reminder!0
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(my computer crashed the first time I typed this out, so hopefully it wont this time)
Do you consider progress pics and before and after shots a form of fat shaming? I read a blog post about it on tumblr where the author was a heavy woman who hates the idea that the fat version of someone is not good enough for everybody. Most of the comments that agreed were from heavier people who say we should love ourselves no matter what size we are and that getting thin is a way to keep women weak and helpless (lol at weak and helpless). Another comment stated that she stopped posting progress pics because the best progress is what you cannot see. Do you agree?
Do you think it's a form of fat shaming or do you think it's motivating?
Why do you post or dont post progress pictures?
Sounds like a lazy person dumping on people who are doing what she won't.0 -
Personally, when I congratulate someone on their progress, I'm not saying "wow you were fat and disgusting before and now you're skinny and pretty". I'm really saying "you've worked your *kitten* off to achieve a goal and you are doing it / have done it, excellent job". That's the difference.
Now that is the right way to say it. I still am obese. But I am working hard and making progress. I love watching others' progress. The photos help motivate me. They say to me, "You can do it!"
And it is important to congratulate anyone who makes the smallest increments in progress sometimes. Working hard has its reward.0 -
I think they are motivating. Most people post their stories because the are proud of the progress they have achieved. The intent of the success stories I have seen is rarely if ever to shame anyone. They are meant to inspire others.0
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someone losing weight because they want to genuinely and to feel happier in themselves is a good thing. surely fat shaming is a different concept entirely, when the person is made to feel awful by others for being overweight. progress pics are as much about a gain in confidence as weight lost.0
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I think when people see there are so many different routes and that anyone can succeed if they want it is more motivating than anything else. No one would order P90x if they saw someone get fatter and be in worse shape. The idea is to get people to start. Starting for a lot of people can be the biggest obstacle.0
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I love to see progress pictures. I joined this site to lose weight and see my weight loss as an accomplishment. I think people who post progress pics feel that way too. They have worked hard and have every right to be proud of what they have accomplished. It is very motivating to me.0
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Not to be insensitive, but no. I don't think it's "fat shaming", unless even the idea of a site that is about weight loss and fitness is too.0
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.... getting thin is a way to keep women weak and helpless (lol at weak and helpless). Another comment stated that she stopped posting progress pics because the best progress is what you cannot see. Do you agree?
Do you think it's a form of fat shaming or do you think it's motivating?
Why do you post or dont post progress pictures?
I felt much weaker, physically, when I was 210 pounds.
You can see my progress pic in my avatar. I like seeing the difference in what I looked like then compared to more recently. I never hated my inside self.... just the shell it was trapped in.0 -
I consider it motivation. When I think about what I need to do to get where I want to be, I feel a little overwhelmed. When I see others pics, I think "hey they did that! So can I!"
Inspiring.0 -
No fat shaming. No weakness. It's actually a very powerful thing to be able to say "look what I've accomplished." If you can help to motivate someone else along the way, even better.0
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I post photos to see how far I've come for my health. It's a way for me to visually assess my progress and a reminder of how far I've come.
Losing weight for me wasn't about looks. It was about my health, about being able to be more active and stronger and about accomplishing something that was important to me. People tell me that I looked beautiful before and now, but they understand why losing the weight was important to me, how hard I worked at it and they are applauding that.
When I was bigger, the only one who ever shamed me or made me think I wasn't good enough was me. I'm not ashamed of who I was. She was smart and had a lot of adventures, made some great friends and was brave enough to go for her dreams even when no one else believed in her. But I'm so happy to be stronger and faster and that I feel better, but most of all, after years of failing at everything I tried, I finally accomplished one of my goals and that feels amazing and makes me want to try even harder on my other goals.
You teach people how to treat you and if you feel shame or don't feel good enough, then you are going to read into every other person's actions the same message whether it was intended that way or not.0 -
Are graduation celebrations shaming of people who have not graduated?
I love to see progress/success pictures and find them encouraging. They made me feel like what seemed impossible (and some "experts" even say IS impossible) could be done.
I'm not a better person than I was when I was fat, but I am a healthier one.0 -
I think it's motivating and inspiring.
People's fatness or lack of fatness doesn't bother me at all, but then I guess I'm a confident person. I don't worry about being fat because I think it's shameful. I worry about it because I think it's unhealthy for me.
People have the right to post their progress and feel proud of their accomplishments. If you're ashamed of your fatness then don't post your pic. If you're ashamed of other people's fatness, or you feel ashamed when you see others making progress when you're not, then don't look at their pics.
The rest of us shouldn't have to hide because you might feel shamed by us. I don't know why it's so wrong for people to celebrate their achievements. People, stop being so sensitive!
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Being fat ISN'T good.
It's bad.
Nobody aspires to be fat.
Some people actually do. And I have to agree that it's bad.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026964/Susanne-Emans-bid-worlds-fattest-woman-52st-mother-2-supersizing.html0 -
I say, let them show off their work, they've earned it.
I TOTALLY agree... I truly believe showing others progress pics is a great idea!! I do NOT believe it causes fat bashing or at least I would hope not since the particular individual has the "guts" to show themselves, in the "raw" -- good, bad and the sometimes less unattactive parts in one's own mind)... Personally, I believe It's a time to gloat a little
and showcase the hard work (time, energy, blood, sweat and tears) that the individual has gone through thus far. I believe it SHOULD be a celebration of the accomplishment that they've reached.
Honestly, I think we all should be proud of our successes and accomplishments no matter how big or small... It takes A LOT of courage, dedication, perseverance and motivation to lose weight. It's NOT easy, but it is SO worth it. I would like to think MOST people understand that we're only tooting our own horns per se, because we are PROUD of ourselves and our hard work, and it's NOT showing off and/or being egotistical.
As far as posting progress pics that's each to their own. I personally, am ashamed (I know I shouldn't be -- it's REALLY stupid) especially because I am doing something about it... I should really practice what I preach. I have come a long way in the last 3 months, but I am a perfectionist and I don't know if I'm comfy enough showing the "world" my "flaws" YET... But, that's just me... That said, I have definitely thought about it...
Bottom line, I TOTALLY agree with everyone else, I find GREAT motivation and encouragement from seeing others progress pics and reading their stories. I do NOT think of them as FAT or GROSS or whatever... I think everyone is beautiful in their own unique ways regardless of how much they do or do NOT weigh... Therefore, when I become less "shy" I may post my progress pics as well, but NOT today!! HAAAAAAA! :blushing:0 -
I am on the side of not shaming. I see it as a visualization of the truth. For how many of you (like me) was it a picture taken of you that you finally saw your body how others see it and decided to change?
I know that for me, I see ONLY what I need to in the mirror--my hair when brushing, my eye when doing makeup, my general front to make sure my buttons are done up right.. Is my zipper zipped? I don't really SEE myself in the mirror.
But for some reason, looking at a photo changes that perception. I notice my double chin--I see my hips and thighs and bum...and then I get mad and then I get motivated. And believe me--I avoid candid photos at almost ridiculous cost.
So a before and after picture is simply a tool used to gauge progress. Unless you photoshop, the camera doesn't lie.
And if other people see your before and after shots because you decided to share and post it, then revel in the congratulations.
If you feel ashamed of how you looked or even how you look today no one is forcing you to a) post your own pictures or b) look at anyone elses.
If you are just a private person then by all means don't post.
But don't hide from the truth.
The truth is we all can do this with enough effort and focus and self-discipline. So view the pictures in the spirit in which they are shared (likely) which is to say I can do it, so can you.0 -
OK, this is coming from someone (me) who was morbidly obese for years and am working on getting healthy and have lost 88 pounds in the process. I may be thinking really simplistically, but I think the reason they are against posting progress/before and after pictures is that they themselves are unhappy with the way they are and don't have inspirational photos to post. It's dissatisfaction with their own lives.0
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They inspire me to keep working toward my goal. Change is really possible!0
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(my computer crashed the first time I typed this out, so hopefully it wont this time)
Do you consider progress pics and before and after shots a form of fat shaming? I read a blog post about it on tumblr where the author was a heavy woman who hates the idea that the fat version of someone is not good enough for everybody. Most of the comments that agreed were from heavier people who say we should love ourselves no matter what size we are and that getting thin is a way to keep women weak and helpless (lol at weak and helpless). Another comment stated that she stopped posting progress pics because the best progress is what you cannot see. Do you agree?
Do you think it's a form of fat shaming or do you think it's motivating?
Why do you post or dont post progress pictures?
I think that entire concept is totally ridiculous!
It's absolutely motivational. The only people who would find it shaming are those that want everyone else to support their choice to be fat.
Period.0 -
I don't consider it either.
I consider it sharing facts. It's not like weight loss is the only before-and-after type of picture out there.0 -
when i read all that stuff it's just people making excuses. why go to college? you're good enough the way you are. why learn to ride a bike? you're good enough the way you are? why get married? you're good enough the way you are.
it's just excuses and it's the reason our country is all fat. i was fat so i know all about it. unless you ARE EMBARRASSED you won't change.0 -
The term ``fat shaming`` bugs me to no end, and I am an extremely body positive person. I just see this term thrown around far to often, and I feel the people who are using it have internalized this shame that is no ones fault but their own.
Also, this is a web site centred around weight loss, no matter how big of small.0 -
This seems a pretty popular thread. If someone benefits from posting pictures it seems a good thing to do for them. That is the point. It's good for them. It doesn't matter if it's good for anyone else. Shame is not one of the seven sins, but gluttony is. If someone takes the time to share their consideration and effort, I believe it's worthy. Why would anyone suggest that it is deragatory. Not following that one.0
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Whether or not it is motivating is dependent upon an individuals goals. We all came her to shed weight, therefore, your responses will pretty much resonate with motivating. However, apparently this lady who made these comments intends to stay big. But rather than her being demotivated, because she really isn't motivated in the first place, it's more likely that it is causing her to feel some measure of guilt for treating her body so badly.
I soooo agree. These people do recognise that they're treating themselves badly but just don't want to admit it. I don't know one overweight person who is genuinely happy being overweight (me included) - despite what they like to pretend to themselves and everyone else. Think of all the restrictions on your life - you can't go and play with your kids, you struggle fitting into swings and rides at the park etc, your health suffers, you set a bad example for your kids, you struggle buying shoes & clothes cos you need wider fittings or bigger sizes. For instance, I'm not particularly large (UK 14) and I hate going into a normal high street stores to buy clothes. Why? Because it is so hard to find anything that fits well or makes me look and feel good in. If I feel that then surely someone bigger than me must feel that too!
Yes society makes everyone feel a bit pressured into being smaller / fitter / prettier etc but think what we'd become if there was no pressure and everyone just let themselves go - I dread to think!! I also think that it is natural to want to look and feel your best. Yes, everyone should be treated equally regardless of their size and yes it's ok to have curves - but when the curves become tyres of fat putting pressure on all your vital organs it's just not pretty regardless what anyone says.
These people just don't want to admit to themselves that their size makes them unhappy and unhealthy because that means that they need to make the first step and do something about it, and I think without a good kick up the backside or that first heart attack (if they survive it) to bring them into reality, sadly they just won't ever admit it to themselves because it requires effort and commitment which they're not willing to give - they've let it go to the point where it's easier for them to do nothing!
In my opinion this is a selfish attitude because they either don't think or don't care about the effect their lifestyle has on their family & friends who probably worry about them on a daily basis and not to mention the huge strain on the health service with billions of taxpayers money being spent every year on weight related illnesses. Being overweight is mostly self inflicted (there are some who are overweight through medical reasons) but it is also treatable and the money spent every year on obesity could be put to better use such as vital funding for research into cancer etc which is not treatable and not self inflicted.
Sure everyone struggles, but if you don't love yourself and respect your body the way you deserve to in order to enjoy your life, nobody else is going to do it for you and I for one would rather put in the effort to make sure that I am as fit and healthy as I can be in order to enjoy my life with my sons and to ensure that I will be there for them for as long as possible and to give them the best possible start in life by setting them the example they need to make sure that they know the importance of eating healthily and looking after themselves for when I'm not here.
Sorry if i ranted but these people just make me MAD!!! All it takes is a bit of effort even if it's only a little bit at a time - at least you're taking responsibility for yourself, your health and you're future.
You basically just described who I was before I realized who I was and decided to change. Everything you've said is completely true.. Very well worded.
Ditto :flowerforyou:
Baileyhoughton and Tracieangeletti I commend both of you for being honest with yourselves and making the positive steps towards improving your health and happiness and wish you all the best on your journey. It's just a pity that so many people will never have that realisation that they could have a completely different life if they're just honest with themselves.
As JLS said "You only get one shot - so make it count, you will never have this moment again" haha 0
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