Help! my husband wont let me lift heavy weights

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  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
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    If you want to lift heavy weights and he complains point out that there are advantages if you are strong:

    1- You can move furniture without help and won't have to hire strong good looking movers with no shirts
    2- You can carry your own groceries and don't have to ask the cute bag boy at the store to walk you to your car
    3- if you are strong you can fight off those persistent males that keep chasing you around

    You get the idea. I personally would just tell my husband that he was afraid I would be stronger than him and could kick his *kitten* in a fight and he was being a big wimpy cry baby.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
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    im sure i replied to this back when it was a new thread, however...

    no one should need PERMISSION from a spouse to do something that improves their health and makes them feel good.

    tell your husband to get bent and then you go kick *kitten* at the gym.
  • Safiyandi
    Safiyandi Posts: 151
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    I'm going through the same thing. He's afraid I'm going to get bulky like a dude. I'm NOT a fan of blowing off my spouse and doing whatever I like - I'd be mad if he did that to me. What I don't understand is wanting to stop something that isn't even happening yet. And what if I WANTED to be big and huge? Guess what, I do! I used to weigh 98 lbs and looked like death. Now I weigh 115 and actually have some tits and *kitten*. He doesn't even notice it. I get joy and confidence from lifting, but when I get home I feel embarrassed. He likes to refer to people who go to the gym as "meatheads" and makes jokes when I come home pumped about my workout. It's really weird too because he's a professional athlete...who is lucky and never has to set foot in a real gym. Advice before I quit?

    Man, it's time to set some boundaries about what he does and doesn't have input in.

    There are lots and lots of decisions and activities and problems that married folks need to be a team to handle correctly. Major purchases, family planning, handling in-laws....these are the kinds of things that require two people to come to a decision together.

    But your body? Your appearance and your fitness? That's yours and yours alone. This isn't a matter of just blowing him off to do whatever you want, frankly it's not healthy in a relationship if there's a question of which of you has the right to make those kinds of personal decisions about yourself. It's also not healthy if two people don't have anything that they do on their own, away from the other.

    If you want to be big and huge, go get swole as f**k, woman. More power to you.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Oh meeper
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    This is a GREAT way to get around the "no multiple threads on the same topic" rule.

    IN, to see if it flies.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I'm going through the same thing. He's afraid I'm going to get bulky like a dude. I'm NOT a fan of blowing off my spouse and doing whatever I like - I'd be mad if he did that to me. What I don't understand is wanting to stop something that isn't even happening yet. And what if I WANTED to be big and huge? Guess what, I do! I used to weigh 98 lbs and looked like death. Now I weigh 115 and actually have some tits and *kitten*. He doesn't even notice it. I get joy and confidence from lifting, but when I get home I feel embarrassed. He likes to refer to people who go to the gym as "meatheads" and makes jokes when I come home pumped about my workout. It's really weird too because he's a professional athlete...who is lucky and never has to set foot in a real gym. Advice before I quit?

    Man, it's time to set some boundaries about what he does and doesn't have input in.

    There are lots and lots of decisions and activities and problems that married folks need to be a team to handle correctly. Major purchases, family planning, handling in-laws....these are the kinds of things that require two people to come to a decision together.

    But your body? Your appearance and your fitness? That's yours and yours alone. This isn't a matter of just blowing him off to do whatever you want, frankly it's not healthy in a relationship if there's a question of which of you has the right to make those kinds of personal decisions about yourself. It's also not healthy if two people don't have anything that they do on their own, away from the other.

    If you want to be big and huge, go get swole as f**k, woman. More power to you.

    Yes. Input into you, green light. Input into your goings on, workouts, or wherabouts, red light.
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
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    Am i glad my husband is not hell bent on how i look. He loves me unconditionally, even when i was 30 pounds heavier , even when i was 10 pounds lighter than now!
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
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    Yeah I suppose. Just trying to think of a clever way to avoid a fight
    Don't tell him then. Sounds like a great supportive guy. Actually sounds really insecure.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,687 Member
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    I let my wife do whatever she wants. That's why I'm a happy man. Nothing worse than an unhappy wife blaming hubby for not letting her achieve what she wants to. That **** will be on his shoulder till he dead and buried.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    Tell him you're working on your grip strength. Parampampam!
  • basschick
    basschick Posts: 3,502 Member
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    My husband is just the opposite. He's my personal trainer and he's always pushing me to lift heavier and heavier weight. That's one of the reasons why I love him. :smile:
  • scooterjay_wwis
    scooterjay_wwis Posts: 120 Member
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    I'm going through the same thing. He's afraid I'm going to get bulky like a dude. I'm NOT a fan of blowing off my spouse and doing whatever I like - I'd be mad if he did that to me. What I don't understand is wanting to stop something that isn't even happening yet. And what if I WANTED to be big and huge? Guess what, I do! I used to weigh 98 lbs and looked like death. Now I weigh 115 and actually have some tits and *kitten*. He doesn't even notice it. I get joy and confidence from lifting, but when I get home I feel embarrassed. He likes to refer to people who go to the gym as "meatheads" and makes jokes when I come home pumped about my workout. It's really weird too because he's a professional athlete...who is lucky and never has to set foot in a real gym. Advice before I quit?

    If you get great JOY and CONFIDENCE from LIFTING,
    KEEP LIFTING!!!
    DON'T QUIT.
    He'll get over it.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I'm going through the same thing. He's afraid I'm going to get bulky like a dude. I'm NOT a fan of blowing off my spouse and doing whatever I like - I'd be mad if he did that to me. What I don't understand is wanting to stop something that isn't even happening yet. And what if I WANTED to be big and huge? Guess what, I do! I used to weigh 98 lbs and looked like death. Now I weigh 115 and actually have some tits and *kitten*. He doesn't even notice it. I get joy and confidence from lifting, but when I get home I feel embarrassed. He likes to refer to people who go to the gym as "meatheads" and makes jokes when I come home pumped about my workout. It's really weird too because he's a professional athlete...who is lucky and never has to set foot in a real gym. Advice before I quit?

    Ok, so I read through this old thread. This is the post that bumped it.

    It looks like the Op didn't explain it very well at first what she meant. Then she explained it better. There was a discussion. There was a confusing divergence when a person compared cheating to lifting weights. And they thought we were telling the op to be deceptive, when really we didn't realize it's such a big deal what a person chooses to do at the gym (as long as they are not actually there to cheat or get drugs or something).

    We all certainly had a response to the concept of not letting someone do something they want to do to improve their personal health or as a harmless hobby they enjoy. So someone pointed out saying "he would prefer me not to" as being a better way to describe it.

    So, it looks like the op has probably already cleared up her issues many months ago.

    The issue that seems to come up is that the man is worried his wife will get injured. Or he is worried that something will happen (bulking up), but the worry isn't grounded in an accurate understanding. And sometimes it can be challenging to educate people. So, if you want to start lifting weights, get educated on it, and try to help your partner to be better educated. That's my advice.
  • missADS1981
    missADS1981 Posts: 364 Member
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    give him a book called the new rules of lifting for women.

    seriously a few things wrong with this thread

    1. if my s/o, fiancé or husband told me not to do something to my body i'd tell him to go scratch
    2. lifting weights doesn't make you bulky, having fat over muscle makes you bulky
    3. women can't get that big and getting that big isn't' EASY!
    4. women will never get that big because we don't have the hormones like males do.

    I LIFT HEAVY and i'm 107 lbs. I've been lifting heavy for a year straight! I only gained 3 lbs in muscle. so many misconceptions.

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