My Online BF Dumped Me Because I'm Fat :( :( :(

TheWiseCat

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

Uh huh. Riiiiight. Because dating a person online is akin to an experience that should result in death?

Yes, you're right, you must be totally 100% the authority on this! :noway:

People are people. The only thing that changes online is the method of communication. You are JUST as likely to meet a serial killer out at the bar, or some other random "real" place, than online. So please take your ignorant cynicism elsewhere.

My brother married a girl off the internet. She tried to attack him, got arrested for assault and their divorce is pending.
My dad married a girl off the internet. She emptied our house and bank accounts 1 year in.
My dad got married again off the internet, she and a cop tried to frame him in an attempt to get him arrested and take over all his assets. Cop was fired and they are now divorced.

Internet dating IS akin to death.

Not all of them. Just because you know a few people out of the thoasands (?) who have had successful internet relationships.

I myself met my husband here on myfitnesspal while I was going through a painful divorce, moved across the country to be with him and we've been happily married for 13 months. Not a long time, but we appreciate what we have and HAVE a great relationship/marriage...nor are we crazy.

When you go internet relationship crazy, kill your husband, chop him up and serve him in a stew to the volunteers in the search party combing the forest for your "missing" husband, his ghost will go "I should have listened to that wise cat..."

Where are all you people meeting people online!! I cant meet anyone!! There was a couple Id start talking to but we just couldnt stay in touch! I would love to meet people online. I think meeting people online in today worlds world when everyone lives online is really not a bad idea. However key word "Everyone" crazies included but not everyone can be crazy can they?

www.plentyoffish.com....or it might just be pof.com.....but be prepared to have weirdos hit you up about what they want to do to you and about the size of their junk

So true. I had a friend who kept getting requests by guys to lick her feet. Finally she agreed and drove to a gas station where the guy got in and licked her feet for like 20 minutes. She ended up thinking it was funny and did it every weekend for a few months.

Edit: No sex. Just feet.

Just when I thought this thread had stopped being entertaining.... yowsa. I just snorted my coffee!

Holly jesus what.. "No sex just feet" Oh thank god! really had me worried then... :O

Yeah, she ended it when he asked her to start coming to his place to walk/stomp on him. She wasn't down for that. They met on www.plentyoffish.com.

metacognition

Maybe this is a bad idea, but do you mind some hard love? My thoughts here:

It's not about the weight.

Don't settle for low tier nut jobs. You must value yourself and be cautious about people you meet on the internet.

Rule 1: Men (and anyone) can lie on the internet.

Says he is married but can't get divorced = red flag, ethical flag, moral flag whatever the reason he is a married man on a date with someone else. Why go there ?

Third, why put your feelings out for someone who treats you badly?

Why did you follow this man around when he was cursing at you? No decent man will treat you like dirt, even if you are 500 pounds overweight. Decent men regard strangers with respect even if there is zero sexual attraction.

He's not worth a moment of your time. Not an instant. Disregard that bad episode and don't think about him again.
Focus on yourself, getting to a healthy place and honoring your needs.

You can do better but you must make better choices. The excess weight is not a big problem but if you continue to blame your weight for a whole mess of deeper issues, you might continue to attract men who take advantage of you.

Sorry for the hard love.

dumb_blondes_rock

I would be down to get my feet licked, but Im a classy woman, we need to be at at LEAST a motel 6, I refuse to be at a gas station

TheWiseCat

I would be down to get my feet licked, but Im a classy woman, we need to be at at LEAST a motel 6, I refuse to be at a gas station

If a girl wanted me to lick her feet, they'd have to be fresh from the shower. He liked them all used up and smelly =\

stumegsmum

I would be down to get my feet licked, but Im a classy woman, we need to be at at LEAST a motel 6, I refuse to be at a gas station

If a girl wanted me to lick her feet, they'd have to be fresh from the shower. He liked them all used up and smelly =\

ok that's me out - have fun all

TheWiseCat

I would be down to get my feet licked, but Im a classy woman, we need to be at at LEAST a motel 6, I refuse to be at a gas station

If a girl wanted me to lick her feet, they'd have to be fresh from the shower. He liked them all used up and smelly =\

ok that's me out - have fun all

jchenks

Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

YES! THANK YOU. and the fact that he asked for wet wipes... What man asks for wet wipes?

I do after I eat oily chips. I can't be having my face breaking out. Girl, don't you go starting some ratchet business 'bout a man's ability to take care of his appearance!

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

You know what? You could have asked me first before judging me and calling this a fake story. If you think it is fake then you can stop answering on this thread. But you are here arguing with people. THE WATER CAME FROM THE RESTAURANT BECAUSE HE THREW UP OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT.

I included the "wet wipes" part because I also thought it was his way to get rid of me. That if I went back inside the resto to get it, he could escape from me. Which exactly what happened. And why exactly I chased him. Because I was wondering. And until now I am wondering and that is why I AM HERE ASKING FOR NICE HELPFUL PEOPLE'S OPINION and not from judgemental people like you. If you think this story is made up then please feel free to leave. Don't waste your time arguing with people over some story you think is FAKE.

Thanks.

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

You know what? You could have asked me first before judging me and calling this a fake story. If you think it is fake then you can stop answering on this thread. But you are here arguing with people. THE WATER CAME FROM THE RESTAURANT BECAUSE HE THREW UP OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT.

I included the "wet wipes" part because I also thought it was his way to get rid of me. That if I went back inside the resto to get it, he could escape from me. Which exactly what happened. And why exactly I chased him. Because I was wondering. And until now I am wondering and that is why I AM HERE ASKING FOR NICE HELPFUL PEOPLE'S OPINION and not from judgemental people like you. If you think this story is made up then please feel free to leave. Don't waste your time arguing with people over some story you think is FAKE.

Thanks.

Please direct me to my argument that I was having with people in this thread. I can't seem to find it. OH WAIT..... It's because I wasn't. If you think the wet wipe conversation was an argument.... well then ummm.... I dunno You must have lots of arguments?

IF this whole scenario actually happened WHAT THE *kitten* ARE YOU WONDERING?!
If you are stupid for running after him? Answer is YES
If you are needy? Answer is Yes as well.
Did he leave because you are over weight? Maybe- he never out right said that.

Let me list the areas of concern here:
He got loaded on his first date... and vomited
He's married
he called you a ***** and said he didn't know you
He tried to run away from you

Those 3 reasons alone should have brought RED FLAGS and yet you are still dwelling on this guy who is an outright lunatic.

If this is harsh - i'm only kind of sorry because I think you should have enough sense to know that he is a guy that you must stay away from.

TheWiseCat

Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

YES! THANK YOU. and the fact that he asked for wet wipes... What man asks for wet wipes?

I do after I eat oily chips. I can't be having my face breaking out. Girl, don't you go starting some ratchet business 'bout a man's ability to take care of his appearance!

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

You know what? You could have asked me first before judging me and calling this a fake story. If you think it is fake then you can stop answering on this thread. But you are here arguing with people. THE WATER CAME FROM THE RESTAURANT BECAUSE HE THREW UP OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT.

I included the "wet wipes" part because I also thought it was his way to get rid of me. That if I went back inside the resto to get it, he could escape from me. Which exactly what happened. And why exactly I chased him. Because I was wondering. And until now I am wondering and that is why I AM HERE ASKING FOR NICE HELPFUL PEOPLE'S OPINION and not from judgemental people like you. If you think this story is made up then please feel free to leave. Don't waste your time arguing with people over some story you think is FAKE.

Thanks.

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

You know what? You could have asked me first before judging me and calling this a fake story. If you think it is fake then you can stop answering on this thread. But you are here arguing with people. THE WATER CAME FROM THE RESTAURANT BECAUSE HE THREW UP OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT.

I included the "wet wipes" part because I also thought it was his way to get rid of me. That if I went back inside the resto to get it, he could escape from me. Which exactly what happened. And why exactly I chased him. Because I was wondering. And until now I am wondering and that is why I AM HERE ASKING FOR NICE HELPFUL PEOPLE'S OPINION and not from judgemental people like you. If you think this story is made up then please feel free to leave. Don't waste your time arguing with people over some story you think is FAKE.

Thanks.

Please direct me to my argument that I was having with people in this thread. I can't seem to find it. OH WAIT..... It's because I wasn't. If you think the wet wipe conversation was an argument.... well then ummm.... I dunno You must have lots of arguments?

IF this whole scenario actually happened WHAT THE *kitten* ARE YOU WONDERING?!
If you are stupid for running after him? Answer is YES
If you are needy? Answer is Yes as well.
Did he leave because you are over weight? Maybe- he never out right said that.

Let me list the areas of concern here:
He got loaded on his first date... and vomited
He's married
he called you a ***** and said he didn't know you
He tried to run away from you

Those 3 reasons alone should have brought RED FLAGS and yet you are still dwelling on this guy who is an outright lunatic.

If this is harsh - i'm only kind of sorry because I think you should have enough sense to know that he is a guy that you must stay away from.

FR sent.

fitfreakymom

Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

YES! THANK YOU. and the fact that he asked for wet wipes... What man asks for wet wipes?

I do after I eat oily chips. I can't be having my face breaking out. Girl, don't you go starting some ratchet business 'bout a man's ability to take care of his appearance!

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

You know what? You could have asked me first before judging me and calling this a fake story. If you think it is fake then you can stop answering on this thread. But you are here arguing with people. THE WATER CAME FROM THE RESTAURANT BECAUSE HE THREW UP OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT.

I included the "wet wipes" part because I also thought it was his way to get rid of me. That if I went back inside the resto to get it, he could escape from me. Which exactly what happened. And why exactly I chased him. Because I was wondering. And until now I am wondering and that is why I AM HERE ASKING FOR NICE HELPFUL PEOPLE'S OPINION and not from judgemental people like you. If you think this story is made up then please feel free to leave. Don't waste your time arguing with people over some story you think is FAKE.

Thanks.

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

You know what? You could have asked me first before judging me and calling this a fake story. If you think it is fake then you can stop answering on this thread. But you are here arguing with people. THE WATER CAME FROM THE RESTAURANT BECAUSE HE THREW UP OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT.

I included the "wet wipes" part because I also thought it was his way to get rid of me. That if I went back inside the resto to get it, he could escape from me. Which exactly what happened. And why exactly I chased him. Because I was wondering. And until now I am wondering and that is why I AM HERE ASKING FOR NICE HELPFUL PEOPLE'S OPINION and not from judgemental people like you. If you think this story is made up then please feel free to leave. Don't waste your time arguing with people over some story you think is FAKE.

Thanks.

Please direct me to my argument that I was having with people in this thread. I can't seem to find it. OH WAIT..... It's because I wasn't. If you think the wet wipe conversation was an argument.... well then ummm.... I dunno You must have lots of arguments?

IF this whole scenario actually happened WHAT THE *kitten* ARE YOU WONDERING?!
If you are stupid for running after him? Answer is YES
If you are needy? Answer is Yes as well.
Did he leave because you are over weight? Maybe- he never out right said that.

Let me list the areas of concern here:
He got loaded on his first date... and vomited
He's married
he called you a ***** and said he didn't know you
He tried to run away from you

Those 3 reasons alone should have brought RED FLAGS and yet you are still dwelling on this guy who is an outright lunatic.

If this is harsh - i'm only kind of sorry because I think you should have enough sense to know that he is a guy that you must stay away from.

FR sent.

THIS if it was me I would have left when he got loaded and started acting like an *kitten*.

mrsmarit

First of all, is this even real? There are SO many things in this story that don't make sense. He's in the military, but overweight? No... He was running so fast you couldn't catch him? What?? And you brought your own vodka to a restaurant? Ok, maybe that's a real thing, but not where I'm from.

Then there's this:

It just kills me that this man I care so much about and love so much is rejecting me because I am overweight. When he himself is overweight. And his entire family is overweight too. It's in their genes. His sisters and mom and dad are all over 300 pounds.

He refused to give explanation as to why he wanted to end things.

If he refused to give you an explanation, how do you know it has anything to do with your weight?

Exactly the reason why I am here ASKING STRANGERS FOR ADVICE. I assumed it was my weight because what else could be the reason? We were happy that night, even when he was crying, he kissed me. Then after a few minutes, he wanted to go and looked like he wanted to go alone, without me. Then he RAN AWAY FAST.

Maybe he felt bad because he remembered something.. oh yeah that he's married.. and not to you.

TheWiseCat

First of all, is this even real? There are SO many things in this story that don't make sense. He's in the military, but overweight? No... He was running so fast you couldn't catch him? What?? And you brought your own vodka to a restaurant? Ok, maybe that's a real thing, but not where I'm from.

Then there's this:

It just kills me that this man I care so much about and love so much is rejecting me because I am overweight. When he himself is overweight. And his entire family is overweight too. It's in their genes. His sisters and mom and dad are all over 300 pounds.

He refused to give explanation as to why he wanted to end things.

If he refused to give you an explanation, how do you know it has anything to do with your weight?

Exactly the reason why I am here ASKING STRANGERS FOR ADVICE. I assumed it was my weight because what else could be the reason? We were happy that night, even when he was crying, he kissed me. Then after a few minutes, he wanted to go and looked like he wanted to go alone, without me. Then he RAN AWAY FAST.

Maybe he felt bad because he remembered something.. oh yeah that he's married.. and not to you.

Well that's not helpful at all.

quirkytizzy

IF this whole scenario actually happened WHAT THE *kitten* ARE YOU WONDERING?!
If you are stupid for running after him? Answer is YES
If you are needy? Answer is Yes as well.
Did he leave because you are over weight? Maybe- he never out right said that.

Let me list the areas of concern here:
He got loaded on his first date... and vomited
He's married
he called you a ***** and said he didn't know you
He tried to run away from you

Those 3 reasons alone should have brought RED FLAGS and yet you are still dwelling on this guy who is an outright lunatic.

If this is harsh - i'm only kind of sorry because I think you should have enough sense to know that he is a guy that you must stay away from.

running_shoe

So VERY much is wrong with this.

jchenks

I thought he was so sexy when i was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer Actually who am I kidding, I still do haha

TheWiseCat

I thought he was so sexy when i was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer Actually who am I kidding, I still do haha

Great, Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a couple seasons of Angel gets two nods, but Supernatural gets NONE?!

mrsmarit

First of all, is this even real? There are SO many things in this story that don't make sense. He's in the military, but overweight? No... He was running so fast you couldn't catch him? What?? And you brought your own vodka to a restaurant? Ok, maybe that's a real thing, but not where I'm from.

Then there's this:

It just kills me that this man I care so much about and love so much is rejecting me because I am overweight. When he himself is overweight. And his entire family is overweight too. It's in their genes. His sisters and mom and dad are all over 300 pounds.

He refused to give explanation as to why he wanted to end things.

If he refused to give you an explanation, how do you know it has anything to do with your weight?

Exactly the reason why I am here ASKING STRANGERS FOR ADVICE. I assumed it was my weight because what else could be the reason? We were happy that night, even when he was crying, he kissed me. Then after a few minutes, he wanted to go and looked like he wanted to go alone, without me. Then he RAN AWAY FAST.

Maybe he felt bad because he remembered something.. oh yeah that he's married.. and not to you.

Well that's not helpful at all.

Darn it.. my motivation of complete stranger on the internet who is in love with a crazy whackjob has failed..

I will now go to my corner and cry... or not

ninessential

Was that the first time you two met in person? I think you two waited too long to meet up. I've had an online relationship before. Met the dude. It was great. The chemistry was there... but it all boils down to what changes after you meet. All those years and he acts like that. He obviously had some kind of issues. Seems like a) he probably felt sorry for you and just didn't want to make you feel bad and then he started to freak out and realized that was his chance to flee. He may have been drunk but he may have tried to over dramatize the situation because he didn't know how to break it to you. b) He may have not been over his wife or may have had someone else or some kind of issues with himself.

I know it's hard to focus on yourself when you're at such a vulnerable point but you're an adult and you can't depend on ANYONE but yourself. Only you can. You're better off just facing your issues and you'll be amazed at the person you discover as you work through this. You'll find yourself. It's a crazy, amazing, emotional, conquering, empowering journey! Time to put one foot in front of the other and get your feet wet. It's all about stepping outside of your comfort zone.

suzieqsmart

As for the online dating thing, don't bag on it folks! My husband was in the military when we started dating long distance and we met at the bus station in my city. I ended up spilling tea down his pants because I was shaking where I was so nervous. But if he acted the way this guy did, we wouldn't be married today. I wouldn't have pursued that kind of crazy.

^^^AMEN!! I met my husband online, we lived 4000 miles apart on different continents. We are happily married and have a beautiful family just 5 years later. There is nothing wrong with meeting people online.

However, as several people have said, it is most important to love yourself FIRST. Once you learn to do that, you will become more beautiful to others, inside and out. You will be able to accept love and recognize it when it's real. Forget this awful tragedy. Love yourself and move on.

dlmaylor

Im really sorry that happened to you , but take it as a leson learned as a previous person wrote he did you a favor chuck it up as a loss and baby get moving . keep on doing exactly what you did over the past 30 days that made you lose that weight. Focus on you , make yourself a priority and work on your body like you have never done before and if by chance you ever see this guy again then be the baddest chick HE NEVER HAD !!!!!! HONEY HE DID YOU A FAVOR LEAVE HIM AND HIS DRAMA ALONE AND MOVE ON HE WASNT WORTH YOU !!!!!!!!!

leeanneowens

How do you know he dumped you because of your weight?

He sounds completely insane and I think you should be VERY thankful that this is ending now before you waste any more time. He needs to seek therapy ASAP.

This!