My Online BF Dumped Me Because I'm Fat :( :( :(

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  • JuliaLee67
    JuliaLee67 Posts: 149
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    I'm so sorry this happened to you! This is going to sound harsh, but I think you should cut your losses and move on, as painful as that may be. He sounds like a crazy angry drunk, to be honest, and in my opinion, you really dodged a bullet here. I don't think he rejected you for being overweight--unless he actually told you that, and I didn't see that mentioned in your post (that he actually TOLD you "it's because you're overweight"), I think he still has a lot of issues about his past relationships and you got caught up in that drama. I'm sorry you're hurting, and I hope you begin to feel better soon. You've done a lot of work for yourself, keep it up, and try to move on with your life. You're worth more. Best of luck to you. :)
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
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    He seems like a wackjob. He did you a favor. Appreciate it.

    This.

    It sucks that you invested so much into the online relationship, but I'm not terribly surprised here.

    A lot of people imagine people to be something that they really aren't with online relationships. Reality is something else.
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
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    Sounds like he has his own issues and that it is not you. Don't take this one too hard, you did what you could and you met the expectations that were set from the beginning, he is the one not meeting the ones he promised to you. It will never be worth your time or emotions to go through this and realize it was all a mistake. This is a red flag, a warning of what would be to come if you tried to continue a relationship with him so you have done the right thing by letting it stop even though it hurts. I think you just need to take time for yourself and make sure you are ok.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    You got a gift. Unwrap that baby and RUN THE OTHER WAY.

    Yes! I'm sorry that you're hurting but it sounds like he has some serious unaddressed issues that have nothing to with you or your weight. PTSD, maybe? He probably did you a favor in the long run. But please get back to the gym, for youself and no one else! You'll only regret it later when you're starting completely over and relosing the 30 lbs that you just worked your *kitten* off to lose!
  • MrsK20141004
    MrsK20141004 Posts: 489 Member
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    He seems like a wackjob. He did you a favor. Appreciate it.

    Agree with this. However, I'm sorry someone made you feel that way. He's obviously a person with a LOT of issues. As well, he is probably too embarrassed about what happened that he doesn't want to see you because he is ashamed being being such a d-bag. Unless he implicitly said its because of your weight, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion.
  • DeepAsAPlate
    DeepAsAPlate Posts: 121 Member
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    THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

    This is about a scared, broken boy who, despite your best intentions, is not mentally or emotionally ready for a relationship. It's nothing against you. You did nothing wrong. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.

    I know it may seem like a crushing blow to whatever future you had mapped out, but you need to move on and start doing things for you. BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT.

    Good luck and keep your head up.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    I focused my life on him, he was my priority. :(
    Don't do this part ever again with anyone, ok? I'm being completely serious with you, and believe me - I'm rarely serious. This is never ok.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Seriously... we need to know the song. This is critical.
  • aliciaconcha90
    aliciaconcha90 Posts: 22
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    It is not your weight that was the problem. That man had issues and he took his problems on to you. Never feel bad about yourself. If he didn't accept you, then f**k him and move on. Never try to lose weight for others, lose it for YOURSELF. But I'm glad you found a man that accepts you for who you are. Good luck on your weight loss! :D

    -Alicia
  • smiley245
    smiley245 Posts: 420 Member
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    i seen no part of that story that had anything to do with him rejecting you because of your weight.

    he clearly has alot of issues. and I dont think your the cause.

    I completely agree...

    YOU ARE worht more than this.

    Sorry this happened to you :(
  • TdaniT
    TdaniT Posts: 331 Member
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    I don't mean to be cynical but if he is an American soldier deployed to Afghanistan, I don't see how he can be overweight. He would not have been cleared to deploy. My husband is in the United States Air Force so I know a little bit about this.
  • teisha98
    teisha98 Posts: 13
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    I do not think that is was your weight? I think you should be happy that you found out that he is crazy now instead of 3 years and 2 kids later! You dodged that mess..... Be thankful!
  • CarlottatheBrain
    CarlottatheBrain Posts: 13
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    You should keep exercising and eating your vegetables for nobody else but yourself. It was not very nice of him to handle the situation the way he did. He should have apologized to you. It's only the correct thing to you.
    Just keep moving forward and don't look back.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    The problem I have is with the word "Online".

    Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

    There are some REAL wack jobs in the real world too.
  • MyPureSteez
    MyPureSteez Posts: 265 Member
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    ^

    Yeah he just sounds like a nut to me. Better to find out now rather than later.
  • lucylousmummy
    lucylousmummy Posts: 348 Member
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    on the off chance that this is actually a real problem (doubtful)
    it could quite easily be any of the reasons already listed, or it could be that on your first "real" date he got absolutely plastered, threw up all over you and just generally made an absolute idiot of himself and is to ashamed/embarrassed to face you

    what ever the reason no where does it read like you or your weight are the reason dont let this drag you down
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Papa was a trollin' stone ...
  • Junken_Diraffe
    Junken_Diraffe Posts: 716 Member
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    Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?
  • CarlottatheBrain
    CarlottatheBrain Posts: 13
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    Also my main question is who makes margaritas with vodka? That should have been the sign to tell you something was askew.
  • classycouture
    classycouture Posts: 888 Member
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    :huh:
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