My Online BF Dumped Me Because I'm Fat :( :( :(

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  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
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    I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.

    In your story you never say that he told you it was because of your weight. He may be suffering from PTSD or may just have his own issues, but this is NOT because you are fat. Respond to his next email that even though he hurt you deeply you will be happy because your happiness does not depend on him. Then change your email address, let it go and move on.

    Now for the hard part. In my opinion, because you automatically THINK he dumped you because you're fat tells me that YOU have an issue with it. This is an opportunity for a new beginning - make the changes you need to make in order to be the person you want to be. You're already on MFP, start working it and get healthy both physically and emotionally.

    Best of luck to you!
  • justbecause2014
    justbecause2014 Posts: 371 Member
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    That was a very, very long story...but he never once said anything about your weight! He's sounds like he's crazy and has problems that you can't fix that he needs help for. YOU think he dumped you cuase of your weight because that is your insecurity. He never even mentioned your weight.

    He obviously has issues and this is why we're always taught not to meet people online! That is for your own safety and sanity.

    EDIT:

    Wow, now I feel dumb....I didn't even think about his "weight and deployment" LOL
  • dougii
    dougii Posts: 679 Member
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    Run. Run fast. Don't look back unless it is to insure he is not gaining on you. Sorry for your pain but it sounds that it is very much in your best interest to stay away from this guy.
  • scarrletti_girl
    scarrletti_girl Posts: 479 Member
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    It was very kind of you to be so concerned for his health considering how drunk and unstable he was that evening. But if your first time meeting in person was that big of an explosive trainwreck... well, sounds like there's a bullet to be dodged here. You can learn so much more about a person's true nature meeting in-person than from whatever cleaned-up stories / lies they can feed you online.

    N'thing that I saw nothing in your story indicating he dumped you over your weight.

    EDIT:
    Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?
    Oops, yeah... fishy story the more I think about this. Oh well, thanks for the entertaining thread!

    Like you said maybe he was lying....maybe he was lying about being in the military... what would she have to gain lying about something like this to strangers?
  • kaykay6812
    kaykay6812 Posts: 6 Member
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    It's not you Hun.. It's him. He has issues within himself. Don't blame yourself. Stay strong!!
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
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    Okay,
    a. This dude sounds like a total nutjob
    b. Are you just assuming he dumped you because of your weight??
    c. Just.....run and don't look back.
  • obrientp
    obrientp Posts: 546 Member
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    I was going to leave a heartfelt message until I remembered, with help from other posters, the part where he's supposedly in the military, but overweight. Yeah right. Go tell your story to Dr. Phil.
  • MrsTorresisBACK
    MrsTorresisBACK Posts: 98 Member
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    Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

    I did. He would not have been cleared to deploy if he were overweight.

    oooooooh yea... lol

    AMEN!!!! HELLER???!!! i thought i was being evil thinking that too...
  • Momster1277
    Momster1277 Posts: 13 Member
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    I work in a military facility and I can tell you that he would never had been deployed at that weight. I can also tell you that I have seen many of our soldiers come home much heavier than when they left. If they are at a FOB or in the bush they live on MRE's which are calorie & carbohydrate heavy to sustain them. However, I do have a problem with the story as told and will only wish the young lady well and hope her soldier hooks up with his Behavioral Health people quickly!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    My heart goes out to you Next time:

    2 cups tequila
    1 cup triple sec
    3/4 cup fresh lime juice
    3/4 cup sweetened lime juice
    3 cups ice
    kosher salt

    Enjoy a Margareta! We still need to know the song!
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
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    This fan fiction right now, mmmm no gurl.
  • TheWinman
    TheWinman Posts: 700 Member
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    Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

    I did. He would not have been cleared to deploy if he were overweight.

    oooooooh yea... lol

    It's on the internet so it is true. I don't which is worse the troll attempt or how many people are buying it.
  • alimauer
    alimauer Posts: 33 Member
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    Yes! Heartbreak is the worst, but it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Maybe being with a guy right now is not what you need. If I were you I would take this opportunity to take your weight loss journey to the next level. Even if he did or didnt say your weight was an issue. He obviously does not deserve someone like you. You have to love yourself befroe you love someone else and maybe he has some deep rooted issues from the army or his past even before that. And if the weight was an issue for him than SCREW HIM. He shouldn't have put you through something like this in the first place .I had a boyfriend that used to have a slight issue with my weight and I would say listen. You are crossing a line here, your are hurting me and this is more painful of a topic than you are making it out to be. PLUS you met me like this? So I always stood up for myself in that aspect. And actually when we broke up that's when I started really pushing myself, for me! I am glad you are such an open person and people are here to support you through this time of hurt and pain. But just know that it does get better. And believe me he will wake up a realize what an awesome amazing person he just passed up. You did deserve to know the truth and have a descent explanation but id he is seriously that closed off and emotionally unstable that he can not even given you the descent respect to tell you that in a 10 minute conversation than really what more is he going to give you in the long run?


    P.S. It does not sound to me like this was a breakup over YOUR WEIGHT, especially since the whole night seemed to be going fine. You would have noticed within the first 10 minutes of physically meeting him if this was the issue. I believe also because you skyped he had to have a rough idea of your physical attributes. Anyways you are beautiful and let this be an experience where your learn and grow for yourself. My mother always told me that love grows. Not only in a relationship but with relationships. You may love someone and then find out that in the next relationship you have found something deeper or even more gratifying. But I would suggest working on yourself and allow it to occur naturally. Because things happen when you least expect it.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    Mildly entertaining.
    2.5/10 would not read again.
  • crossfit_lover
    crossfit_lover Posts: 230 Member
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    5'5 250 Solder? Sounds like a hoax
  • alexwhitelegg
    alexwhitelegg Posts: 3
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    He's the one with the problems, not you! And if he treats you like that, good riddance. You could do so much better.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    WHOA Girl - be LUCKY you got out right away! Dude sounds like a total nut job. This clearly has nothing at all to do with you, it's his own mental issues he's battling. Stay far far away from this guy - do not contact him! Do not try to fix him, do not try and get him to like you - just RUN!
  • rm7161
    rm7161 Posts: 505
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    I'm sorry that happened to you. Like others, I am not sure if he was a soldier at that weight, but maybe he was lying to you about being a soldier. Might have been a contractor? Unsure if they are under the same restrictions as active service.

    Anyway, run, not walk, away from this guy. He is not worth your time.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    Whether the story is true or not, we've all wasted the same amount of time reading it and responding to it.
  • wick09
    wick09 Posts: 22 Member
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    I call scam!! 5'5 and 250-260 lbs? Yeah, he would not be serving or even in a war zone at that weight. I wouldn't worry much about him.
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