My Online BF Dumped Me Because I'm Fat :( :( :(

srcardinal10

Sweetheart, I am truly sorry for you. That was just completely uncalled for.

What I will tell you is that he just got back from war. He is not right at the moment. Being in war truthfully affects a person more than any civilian will EVER be able to understand. YOU & your weight are not the problem at all. He has many demons from his past, especially from being at war and coming back to society, that he is going to need intensive counseling for. He was clearly affected by his last relationship as well.

I just went through an AWFUL breakup earlier this year. I honestly did not know how I was EVER going to survive. I loved him with all of my heart. I never thought that I would feel happiness again. It wasn't my first break-up either. It was bad enough to where I had to see a psychiatrist... Now, I'm so happy..it's so awful but as the saying goes time really does heal all wounds.

The advice my father gave me which I've used, "Do the things you like with people you like. If you meet someone then great. If not, then you are at least doing what makes you happy." For now, take some time and do the things that make you happy. Even if it's just for a split second...that happiness will turn to one second, then a few, then a few minutes. You've made it through this minute, right? You will make it through the next. Don't look so far into the future. "The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, and the present worse than it is."

One of my co-workers sent to me and you should read it (http://www.autostraddle.com/the-best-break-up-advice-youll-ever-get-84054/). It was written by her now gf a few years ago. It helped me a lot. I still have it right next to my desk even now. It will be okay. I promise.

xoxo
Sierra

white_horse

He could be that weight and be in the military. I've seen it with the National Guard units. They won't pass weight but they'll pass the tape test and so they're good to go. And yes - they will did deploy to Iraq like that and are deployed to Afghanistan like that. Regular military I'd question that height/weight but not if he's with a National Guard unit. (can't say about the Reserves....haven't been around them enough or know enough about them).

I'm still questioning her story but the height/weight of the dude is plausible.

Phoenix_Rising

It was very kind of you to be so concerned for his health considering how drunk and unstable he was that evening. But if your first time meeting in person was that big of an explosive trainwreck... well, sounds like there's a bullet to be dodged here. You can learn so much more about a person's true nature meeting in-person than from whatever cleaned-up stories / lies they can feed you online.

N'thing that I saw nothing in your story indicating he dumped you over your weight.

EDIT:

Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

Oops, yeah... fishy story the more I think about this. Oh well, thanks for the entertaining thread!

Like you said maybe he was lying....maybe he was lying about being in the military... what would she have to gain lying about something like this to strangers?

^THIS.

I met my husband online. I couldn't be happier.

However, I met a LOT of losers too.
I think this guy made up a lot of awful lies to tell her.
He's a mess and possibly a danger, so I'm glad he's gone.

OP: I'm sorry your heart is breaking :brokenheart:
It has nothing to do with your weight.
Keep the iPhone and use it as an iTouch
OR take a hammer to it to get rid of some of the anger you will feel as you heal!! :drinker:

kt_731

ps. I would have smashed his phone in tiny pieces and left it in a ziploc baggy at the front desk. HAHA :devil:

jchenks

Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

YES! THANK YOU. and the fact that he asked for wet wipes... What man asks for wet wipes?

I do after I eat oily chips. I can't be having my face breaking out. Girl, don't you go starting some ratchet business 'bout a man's ability to take care of his appearance!

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

Calliope610

Also my main question is who makes margaritas with vodka? That should have been the sign to tell you something was askew.

My WTF moment was he checks into the hotel, showers and is back to the car in 10 minutes?

kt_731

Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

YES! THANK YOU. and the fact that he asked for wet wipes... What man asks for wet wipes?

I do after I eat oily chips. I can't be having my face breaking out. Girl, don't you go starting some ratchet business 'bout a man's ability to take care of his appearance!

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

Yes please. More people should make up fake stories like this. This is totally passing the time. hahaha

rm7161

(assuming the story is true, whether it is doesn't matter to me much in the grand scheme)

I am assuming that she got the weight reason from when he started to verbally accost her in the taxi. So maybe she is just not writing clearly but has reason to think what she said. But more generally, I think it's probably just an excuse and the guy wasn't ready to move on to a new relationship. Maybe the chemistry was lacking and he used alcohol to try to make it better... and went overboard.

Anyway, the behavior she describes I've seen in a lesser extent in a bipolar individual I was married to. It's not entirely implausible, though how much is true and how much is embellishment is certainly open to question, and she may have been told untruths by the guy as well. (I seriously suspect he is still married)

KenosFeoh

Good riddance!

Shake that dust off your shoes and move on with your life.

backpacker44

I'm going to be totally honest. You need to find yourself a REAL relationship. Online "relationships" are not real. If you have not met, if you cannot interact then you don't know how a person REALLY is. You can pretend to be whoever you want, online. You can post pictures of someone who isn't even you, people gain confidence that they don't have in person, and say things they don't really mean because why the heck not?

I don't understand why some many people go to the internet to find people, when there are PEOPLE ALL AROUND.

michelefrench

and she listed her 250 pound boyfriend as her inspiration to get fit???? hhhmmm....somethings fishy fishy..

Csengure

Any man who gets so drunk in public that he explosively vomits all over you and then cries and begs for a wet wipe so mommy...errr, you...can clean him up is no man at all. True facts.

TheWinman

Geez, the mods pruned this thread big time.

Just to repeat.

We have a troll here!

TheWiseCat

Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

YES! THANK YOU. and the fact that he asked for wet wipes... What man asks for wet wipes?

I do after I eat oily chips. I can't be having my face breaking out. Girl, don't you go starting some ratchet business 'bout a man's ability to take care of his appearance!

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

A wet wipe cleans, cleanses and removes the oils. A napkin smears. When you wash your face when you get home, do you use water or paper towel? Exactly. A napkin on oil = blackheads.

If you make up a fake story, I promise to make you feel better.

jchenks

Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

YES! THANK YOU. and the fact that he asked for wet wipes... What man asks for wet wipes?

I do after I eat oily chips. I can't be having my face breaking out. Girl, don't you go starting some ratchet business 'bout a man's ability to take care of his appearance!

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

Yes please. More people should make up fake stories like this. This is totally passing the time. hahaha

True. I've spent more time posting in MFP forums this morning than working :ohwell: OOPS

jchenks

A wet wipe cleans, cleanses and removes the oils. A napkin smears. When you wash your face when you get home, do you use water or paper towel? Exactly. A napkin on oil = blackheads.

If you make up a fake story, I promise to make you feel better.

Such a Wise Cat you are.

HotCuppaJo

I don't mean to be cynical but if he is an American soldier deployed to Afghanistan, I don't see how he can be overweight. He would not have been cleared to deploy. My husband is in the United States Air Force so I know a little bit about this.

Excellent point you made here, TdaniT

rm7161

I don't understand why some many people go to the internet to find people, when there are PEOPLE ALL AROUND.

It's not easy to find people you fit to. I can find plenty of people all around me, most of them are in various stages of married, and that is not counting having anything in common with me. (that's also lacking)

So using a dating site to find singles who are also looking for a relationship is not really all that weird, or bad. Just need to take it from online to RL right away.

squatsandlipgloss

I don't understand why some many people go to the internet to find people, when there are PEOPLE ALL AROUND.

It's not easy to find people you fit to. I can find plenty of people all around me, most of them are in various stages of married, and that is not counting having anything in common with me. (that's also lacking)

So using a dating site to find singles who are also looking for a relationship is not really all that weird, or bad.

I think it is totally cool to FIND someone online, but to DATE someone online... That is something different. You can't have a relationship with someone you've nver met. You meet someone online, you should meet them in real life asap and not call it a relationship when you don't...

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

So I've gathered that he must be a 250 pound, 5"5" married Filipino man, currently serving in Afghanistan who has recently broken up with a woman who types in perfect colloquial American English. He recently became an emotional basket case over a song played by a guy in a hotel bar and is known to be prone to vomit and have lapses in memory, become whacked-out insane, and still PM you.

Have I missed anything? Is there anyone from the Philippines serving in Afghanistan? It's the only country I can find any data that still doesn't recognize divorce.

Not the best story, but not the worst either.

mytime1986

My heart goes out to you Next time:

2 cups tequila
1 cup triple sec
3/4 cup fresh lime juice
3/4 cup sweetened lime juice
3 cups ice
kosher salt

Enjoy a Margareta! We still need to know the song!

Umm.... 2 Cups of Tequila? Sounds like a fun party! Lol

egwene1977

Honey, he didn't dump you because you're fat....he obviously has WAY more issues than you need to deal with, and this is all about him. You are way better off without someone like that in your life. Keep on trucking, and you'll get there...and eventually, you'll find somebody that deserves you.

backpacker44

I don't understand why some many people go to the internet to find people, when there are PEOPLE ALL AROUND.

It's not easy to find people you fit to. I can find plenty of people all around me, most of them are in various stages of married, and that is not counting having anything in common with me. (that's also lacking)

So using a dating site to find singles who are also looking for a relationship is not really all that weird, or bad.

I think it is totally cool to FIND someone online, but to DATE someone online... That is something different. You can't have a relationship with someone you've nver met. You meet someone online, you should meet them in real life asap and not call it a relationship when you don't...

Yeah, I should have clarified what I meant. I actually met my best friend on Trip Advisor, he gave me advice on my first trip to Greece, and we met for lunch while I was there (1 week later) and we've been best friends ever since. What I meant was forming and maintaining a relationship online is never going to be real. If you don't meet the person and see how they really are, you don't truly know them. I can totally hide my crazy online, in person is a whole other story lol

TwinkieDong

PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. in its fullest. It was not you, it was not the ex wife. Simply stated it was him, and alcohol exaggerated that . Move on is the best advice I can give you

Stellar76

Then before midnight, he asked me to request a song for the singer at the restaurant to sing. So I did, then I went to the restroom. When I came back, I saw him crying. His tears were falling unstoppably.

What song did you request? This could be important. We need to know exactly what song it was that brought him to tears.

It was a rock song. A Metallica song. He cried even before the song was sang by the singer. So it wasn't about the song, I'm 100% sure.

rm7161

I don't understand why some many people go to the internet to find people, when there are PEOPLE ALL AROUND.

It's not easy to find people you fit to. I can find plenty of people all around me, most of them are in various stages of married, and that is not counting having anything in common with me. (that's also lacking)

So using a dating site to find singles who are also looking for a relationship is not really all that weird, or bad.

I think it is totally cool to FIND someone online, but to DATE someone online... That is something different. You can't have a relationship with someone you've nver met. You meet someone online, you should meet them in real life asap and not call it a relationship when you don't...

Oh, I agree with you. But I am sympathetic to those who have met at long distance, sometimes it takes a while to get it together IRL. They were using Skype, if I assume they were using voice and video, then that helps quite a bit to establish if there is any sort of chemistry before meeting face to face.

I've done job interviews on Skype, it does work for these sorts of things. Cheaper than an airline ticket, lets you screen people out before you waste the money on one.

Mainebikerchick

i seen no part of that story that had anything to do with him rejecting you because of your weight.

he clearly has alot of issues. and I dont think your the cause.

^^THIS!!!!

BrittanyNBuchanan

I don't mean to be cynical but if he is an American soldier deployed to Afghanistan, I don't see how he can be overweight. He would not have been cleared to deploy. My husband is in the United States Air Force so I know a little bit about this.

di1428

I focused my life on him, he was my priority.

Don't do this part ever again with anyone, ok? I'm being completely serious with you, and believe me - I'm rarely serious. This is never ok.

Totally agree here. this is what stuck out in the whole OP's message...

shellma00

Im reading this to the bitter end... you guys are keeping me entertained on this boring work day. Thanks for the laughs.

:laugh: :devil: