When people ask for advice, stop being rude and degrading!

samanthajade124

It really bugs me that even on a FITNESS website designed to help people LOSE WEIGHT AND GET IN SHAPE, the ones who are in prime physical condition are extremely rude and degrading toward the people who aren't all the way there yet. But at least they're doing something about it rather than just sitting at home!! Those people need to find another way to feel better about themselves rather than putting people down.

Personally, I've only had one person say something directed towards me. But I've been noticing it a lot more lately in the threads that I am reading.

For example the one I just read, the girl was asking if she could be concerned about dramatic weight loss because she was only eating 1200-1300 calories a day rather than the recommended 1700 some odd calories. One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

Yeah, people that were bigger ate a bigger quantity of unhealthy food. GET OVER IT. They're trying to change and be healthy. I know from my 10 weeks of being on here that when I eat healthier foods that are good for me and fill me up, I find it difficult to even get to the 1200 calorie goal and end up around 800-900/day.

The point is, they're here and they're trying to change their former habits. ENCOURAGE them and BE SUPPORTIVE. No one needs or wants your negativity. If you lack that decency, then find somewhere ELSE to be with other vain people like yourself. This is a place of support.

Well, that's my rant for today.
(Edited for a spelling error)

AngelaPesta17

I agree 100%.

I need help. I need the support. I'm an idiot in the gym and run from machine to machine. Every former "fatty" for sure should get this. Help us out skinny people! :happy:

LoraF83

Some people do better with tough love.

It may not be for you, so just skip that response and go for the advice that you like.


That's the thing about the internet - it's pretty representative of real life. You won't like everyone and you won't like what everyone has to say, but we're all entitled to our own personalities and means of expression.

Fithealthyforlife

Some people do better with tough love.

It's an acquired tatse.

samanthajade124

I understand that. But I'm pretty sure this site was created to help people. Not have people that are trying to change feel bad because people lack common courtesy to keep their mouths shut if they don't have anything nice to say. Like I said, just kind of ranting. I just think it's rude.

Either way, anyone that needs actual support and/or encouragement, feel free to add me I'll gladly help in any way that I can :flowerforyou:

waldo56

It is the nature of the beast. Every established community develops stupid question syndrome; when the same question or same misunderstanding has been asked 1,000,000 times, if you are asking it/saying it the 1,000,001 th time, expect to get ridiculed.

No cleansing will not help you detoxify.

Your musles are not getting too big if you are in a calorie defict.

Yes lifting writing utensil sized weights to infinity is a waste of time.

chasetwins

That's the thing about the internet - it's pretty representative of real life. You won't like everyone and you won't like what everyone has to say, but we're all entitled to our own personalities and means of expression.

My husband said the same exact thing the other day when I was venting about same thing!! It never ceases to amaze me how arrogant A LOT of people are on here. I guess I live in a bubble ;( and did not think the entire world was like this!!...I like my bubble..we are happy in here!! LOL

kevinpruitt

That's the thing about the internet - it's pretty representative of real life. You won't like everyone and you won't like what everyone has to say, but we're all entitled to our own personalities and means of expression.

No, the internet is nothing like real life. It does give someone a chance to talk crap and be degrading towards others out of cruelness without being face to face confronted or with little to no repercussions of their actions.

Delicate

Some people do, do better with tough love, but shouting down at anyone trying to lose fat/weight who you dont know and not exactly being encouraging (rude) can make them result to going back to the binges/emotional food crutch.

Which is why they are here to begin with.

samanthajade124

I think the world just needs better parents. If there were, their kids wouldn't be such arrogant, entitled, rude, (insert numerous other names here)... brats.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. Far from it, actually.

(I found out why I'm ranting this morning. I forgot to have my coffee!)

alsunrise

This is going to end well.... just like the other 500 threads that said the same thing.

If you want to offer 'nice' advice then do it, but you can't control the other people on this site.

chasetwins

I think the world just needs better parents. If there were, their kids wouldn't be such arrogant, entitled, rude, (insert numerous other names here)... brats.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. Far from it, actually.

(I found out why I'm ranting this morning. I forgot to have my coffee!)

ohhhh my how did you forget that?? I am close to an IV for it LOL

samanthajade124

This is going to end well.... just like the other 500 threads that said the same thing.

If you want to offer 'nice' advice then do it, but you can't control the other people on this site.

Alas, I am not trying to. Just simply stating what I see, and voicing my opinion on how I wish they would act like decent human beings. I am well aware that there is absolutely no chance of that ever happening ^_^

Jeffs32

well said i agree 100% with you. everyone need help and support from time to time, the reason we need to be here are no concern of the other people, its the fact we are here and trying to do something about it that matters,

jxchambe

When I first got on here in 2010 it was not this way. Actually pretty sad.

ldrosophila

I think some of the veterans get tired of saying the same thing over and over again and you start to get flippant and biligerant. Not that they have to respond. They could let the post die. However, you see so many times a day these women, ITS ALWAYS WOMEN, complain about calories, not losing weight, and not being hungry...blah blah. They want to answer with some smart *kitten* comment. Frustration I guess.

People are pretty rude, and it's easier to do when you are behind the PC. It's not nice, but I'm growing to understand why questions like that will almost always get a rude comment.

When you put a post out there you set yourself up for degrading comments. It's a public forum you have to sift the good advice from the crap advice.

chasetwins

It's probably because they thought that once they lost weight they would like themselves more. Turns out they wren't ugly because they were big, they were ugly because they were small.

Beauty is and will always be on the inside

samanthajade124

I think some of the veterans get tired of saying the same thing over and over again and you start to get flippant and biligerant. Not that they have to respond. They could let the post die. However, you see so many times a day these women, ITS ALWAYS WOMEN, complain about calories, not losing weight, and not being hungry...blah blah. They want to answer with some smart *kitten* comment. Frustration I guess.

People are pretty rude, and it's easier to do when you are behind the PC. It's not nice, but I'm growing to understand why questions like that will almost always get a rude comment.

When you put a post out there you set yourself up for degrading comments. It's a public forum you have to sift the good advice from the crap advice.

I understand that. Some people like the drama a certain topic can create. Personally, if I have a question, I search the web and the forums first to see if there are other similar questions and go through the responses. If I still don't know, THEN I post a thread and am more specific on what I am still confused about. I know some people lack that common sense. So yes, veteran MFP users get tired of being repetitive. But like you said...they don't have to answer. THey could just keep their comments to themselves. But oh well.

_SABOTEUR_

I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

Crankstr

NO!


















all joking aside, sometimes it seems rude when someone disagrees, or tells you something you dont want to hear. Sometimes we need to listen though.

fitfreakymom

I think what it is is when people ask the same question that has been asked 1000 times before and could easily be found if the person would just do a search and then they could find out that same question has been ask 999 times before and they would find their answer.

Like the ones where people ask about weight gain during their period... answer is yes we all gain weight during our period, and should go away when period is done.

Another one is if I lift weights will I look like a man and the answer is .... no not unless you are a man.

I do find these questions get asked ALOT.

jxchambe

I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

This is not constructive criticism. Whoever this guy was wasn't trying to be helpful. He was being a being a douche.

yksdoris

This is going to end well.... just like the other 500 threads that said the same thing.

If you want to offer 'nice' advice then do it, but you can't control the other people on this site.

sadly, true.

Ironically, the stupidest advice I keep seeing is from people who are "halfway there"

nrod1988

sooo true! some people can be rude...

Jennifer87401

OMG I KNOW! 150 percent agree!!!

samanthajade124

I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

I have fit people on my friends list as well. I'm not saying that there are people who get offended when they're told they're doing something wrong. There definitely are people like that. But when people asking a legitimate questions get unsolicited rude comments that have nothing to do with their question.... that's not okay in my book.

To make things easier all around, I'd like to see more "Hey, I noticed you were doing ______. This probably won't for you because _______. I'd recommend you trying something more like _______ because it will help you for these reasons _______" It will help the person in need, by explaining. When people are EDUCATED on why something does or doesn't work... it will eliminate stupid questions. Not all of them. But some!

LoraF83

I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

This is not constructive criticism. Whoever this guy was wasn't trying to be helpful. He was being a being a douche.

I fail to see how this was douche-y. Honestly, I don't.

It really is mind-boggling to see someone say they can't manage to eat 1200 cals but yet they are significantly overweight. Maybe that comment set off a light bulb for someone.

SabrinaLC

It's not just the bigger people that get the negativity.

I've gotten it quite a bit. It's annoying

JaneDough_

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firstsip

I find telling people to

SHUT THE *kitten* UP

is much less rude.