When people ask for advice, stop being rude and degrading!

TheWinman

It's the internet were anyone can be fearless beind the keyboard and say whatever they want, be as rude as they want etc..... There are no ramifications for their actions.

Crankstr

I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

This is not constructive criticism. Whoever this guy was wasn't trying to be helpful. He was being a being a douche.

I fail to see how this was douche-y. Honestly, I don't.

It really is mind-boggling to see someone say they can't manage to eat 1200 cals but yet they are significantly overweight. Maybe that comment set off a light bulb for someone.

As I stated previously, significantly overweight people at a higher quantity of unhealthy food. Personally, I've found that in my 10 weeks on here, eating foods that are healthy for you and actually fill you up consist of less calories... which for me makes it a bit harder to reach my calorie goal.

it is NOT hard

butter
peanut butter
nuts
seeds
avocado
olive oil dressing
ANYTHING.

deksgrl

It's the internetz. Stick around, it gets better... depending.

fitfreakymom

I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

You might be saying something intelligent or something moronic, but I dont know if you wrote gibberish or quoted Shakespeare. All I can focus on is your schlong avatar, LOL! At first I was repulsed but then I was intrigued. Reminds me of Ned Flanders when he was in the shower on the The Simpson's.

lol I think his pick is funny as hell.

Southernb3lle

Nope. If you're going to ask for advice, you don't get to make rules about how I deliver that advice to you. Most people need a good, swift kick in the *kitten* anyway.

Sorry I'm not sorry.

YEP!

Crankstr

I read the thread. The poster was not trying to be hostile or hurt the OP's feelings and the OP was not offended. I believe the basic gist was eat a smaller portion of the ice cream that helped you gain weight if you are having trouble getting your cals for the day. It was a valid point

This is what is known as "The Voice of Reason". Refreshing!

Reason?!

there will none of that here, young lady!

quirkytizzy

It's the internet were anyone can be fearless beind the keyboard and say whatever they want, be as rude as they want etc..... There are no ramifications for thier actions.

This works both ways.

In real life, you wouldn't hear people ranting at the top of their lungs in grocery stores to complete strangers about rude people, would you?

But on the internet, you do.

Cowards on both sides.

And if anyone started screaming SHUT THE *kitten* UP (quote from the OP), I'd most certainly be convinced of that person's rudeness.

ahviendha

I understand that. But I'm pretty sure this site was created to help people. Not have people that are trying to change feel bad because people lack common courtesy to keep their mouths shut if they don't have anything nice to say. Like I said, just kind of ranting. I just think it's rude.

Either way, anyone that needs actual support and/or encouragement, feel free to add me I'll gladly help in any way that I can :flowerforyou:

well...see it this way. how come people are allowed to post the most stupid, dead horse questions but people can't respond unless they're being "nice"? why should new, ignorant users be allowed to run rampant, but long term, experienced users have to censor and regulate their responses? as a long time user of this site it drives me crazy to see someone asking something which could be googled, or searched for in a previous thread, or just common sense!

and i do believe the site is primarily, for calorie counting. the emotional support is just icing on the cake.

BurtHuttz

"Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?"

That is a valid observation, it's not hostile, and it doesn't merit you telling that other user, who is also a person with feelings, to "shut the **** up".

ItsCasey

One more thing ... I once was more than 100 lbs overweight. And I didn't solve that problem by getting my feathers ruffled every time someone got a tad abrasive with me when telling me how ridiculous it was that I was eating 850 calories a day in the beginning.

When someone who was in "prime physical condition" offered to give me free advice on how to achieve my goals, I learned to shut my mouth and listen to what they had to say, and I was freaking ecstatic to do so.

matt2442

False. The rudest person to me on MFP is fat and ugly. .

Lolololololol

How are your cats doing?

ImtheOnethatsCool

I read the thread. The poster was not trying to be hostile or hurt the OP's feelings and the OP was not offended. I believe the basic gist was eat a smaller portion of the ice cream that helped you gain weight if you are having trouble getting your cals for the day. It was a valid point

This is what is known as "The Voice of Reason". Refreshing!

Reason will not be tolerated around here.

drchimpanzee

It's not really rude or degrading but my favorite piece of generic advice is "you need to lift heavy." It's not even that I think the advice is bad but rather that lifting heavy isn't the only thing people who have a lot of weight to lose need to be doing. It's just one piece of the puzzle.

samanthajade124

People just don't seem to understand the difference between being helpful and being rude. Helpful is giving advice or contributing something that is actually going to help the person asking a question.

And yeah, there is a lot of sarcasm. But for those of you who don't know... there is actually a difference between sarcastic comments and witty comments.

And yes, telling the rude people to shut the *kitten* up was rude on my part. I do actually apologize for that. I'm not usually that way. I'm one of the people who just wants to see everyone succeed. I understand people have different ways of learning, but I have NEVER met anyone who learns from people being rude.

ILoveTheBrowns

i dont get why more people just dont google things....read up on things then try out different things

instead of asking strangers what works all the time

ImtheOnethatsCool

When someone who was in "prime physical condition" offered to give me free advice on how to achieve my goals, I learned to shut my mouth and listen to what they had to say, and I was freaking ecstatic to do so.

QFT. I've noticed that a lot of those people also lost more than 100lbs, so they *DO* understand what it's like to try and lose.

BeeElMarvin

For example the one I just read, the girl was asking if she could be concerned about dramatic weight loss because she was only eating 1200-1300 calories a day rather than the recommended 1700 some odd calories. One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

Perhaps it could have been stated in a less abrasive manner, but the person who answered in that way has a very good point. Most people come here to get answers as to how to lose weight or get in shape. Unfortunately often times it's not quite what they wanted to hear and they end up getting butthurt.

As for yourself, OP, if you want to be treated as an adult, try acting like one. Coming to the forums with a whiny rant is hardly the best way to get in shape. I would suggest that you might want to "SHUT THE *kitten* UP" and listen to those who have been successful using MFP.

Have a wonderful day.

jonnythan

Oh I get it now. The OP posted that she can't eat enough calories and someone told her she's doing it wrong. Now she's all offended because someone didn't pat her on the head and tell her that what she's doing is fine.

Contrarian

I read the thread. The poster was not trying to be hostile or hurt the OP's feelings and the OP was not offended. I believe the basic gist was eat a smaller portion of the ice cream that helped you gain weight if you are having trouble getting your cals for the day. It was a valid point

This is what is known as "The Voice of Reason". Refreshing!

Reason?!

there will none of that here, young lady!

Please don't be rude.

Avaran_

Are most posters here women?

I have been using MFP for years and don't usually come for the forums. Just made that observation looking at a couple threads including the replies to this one.