When people ask for advice, stop being rude and degrading!
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Also, it's no wonder that our society and schools are having such a issue with bullying, considering this is the behavior that grown adults display when there is no one or nothing holding them to common manners. Just because everyone does it on the internet doesn't mean It should happen.0
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I seriously want to rage-quit this whole thread! :explode:
People are rude everywhere, not just on MFP. If you haven't gotten a thicker skin by now then maybe you shouldn't be using a community-based weight loss program because not everyone is going to have a personality compatible with yours and not everyone is going to deliver a message in a manner that you approve of. Do it on your own. You must have all the answers if you can cherry-pick advice based on its delivery.
Best of luck!:flowerforyou:0 -
Or it could be the case than many obese / overweight people are severely disempowered after being belittled most of their lives so need others to speak on their behalf?
That's possible as well.
It still makes you the person that acts in a way online you wouldn't dare to in real life.
Thus, the SAME accusation flung at "rude" people.0 -
Has Anyone ever heard of Jillian Michaels. Was it rude when she said "everytime I look at a bagel I can feel my *kitten* getting bigger"? or when she is yelling at someone on the treadmill that "The only reasons to stop are puking, passing out, or dieing"?
Seriously some people need thicker skin
People from The Biggest Loser have gone on record to discuss how much they were abused on the show, and that the production is hardly close to reality. In general, I find that Jillian has a very loud mouth that can be incredibly irritating. I think her methods can be counterproductive for people who are very new to fitness, chasing them away instead of inspiring them to discover new ways to enjoy being active, instilling the idea that everyone must follow the same road at the same pace.0 -
Or it could be the case than many obese / overweight people are severely disempowered after being belittled most of their lives so need others to speak on their behalf?
That's possible as well.
It still makes you the person that acts in a way online you wouldn't dare to in real life.
Thus, the SAME accusation flung at "rude" people.
Touche!
Basically, everyone on here is an idiot.
Except moi.0 -
Also, it's no wonder that our society and schools are having such a issue with bullying, considering this is the behavior that grown adults display when there is no one or nothing holding them to common manners. Just because everyone does it on the internet doesn't mean It should happen.
If you think someone saying "How did you become overweight if you can't eat at regular levels" is bullying, please look up Amanda Todd.
Then come back and talk about bullying. I'd say "go talk to her", but she's dead. Killed herself, you see. 16 year old girl.
Extremely tragic.
And you're extremely cheap to even compare the two events. You minimize her death by throwing it in with a discussion about how "rude" it is to ask about 1200 calories.0 -
AMEN!! Agree 100%0
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Some men just want to watch the world burn
Don't worry! It's ok! I'm not in prime physical shape!0 -
It is the nature of the beast. Every established community develops stupid question syndrome; when the same question or same misunderstanding has been asked 1,000,000 times, if you are asking it/saying it the 1,000,001 th time, expect to get ridiculed.
No cleansing will not help you detoxify.
Your musles are not getting too big if you are in a calorie defict.
Yes lifting writing utensil sized weights to infinity is a waste of time.
Then why waste time replying?0 -
Looks like some one needs to learn the use of the ignore feature.0
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I don't care if I'm being blasted. I just needed people to know what was on my mind. Being overweight is tough, because society in general has accepted that weight is the common criticism for everyone. Some people are lazy slobs. Some people want to change, like the ones that are on here.
Yes, telling the people I am angry with to shut the *kitten* up was rude. I never said I was perfect. I am just extremely sick of people being *kitten* to people who are only trying to put forth effort.
Obviously I should take my own advice now and just stop posting cause this whole topic is ruining my good mood
Enjoy your Wednesday, people! :flowerforyou:
I started at 300 lbs at the begining of March ( I joined over a year ago and then just ignored the site until then) Since then I've lost almost 30 pounds. People say "rude" comments to me and I just ignore it or use their words to fuel my rage workouts. Just ignore them and do you. Seriously.0 -
If we don't reply, people wanting answers will see us as rude for ignoring them, possibly resulting in posts complaining about how mean people are on the internet because they didn't get their question answered.It is the nature of the beast. Every established community develops stupid question syndrome; when the same question or same misunderstanding has been asked 1,000,000 times, if you are asking it/saying it the 1,000,001 th time, expect to get ridiculed.
No cleansing will not help you detoxify.
Your musles are not getting too big if you are in a calorie defict.
Yes lifting writing utensil sized weights to infinity is a waste of time.
Then why waste time replying?0 -
It is the nature of the beast. Every established community develops stupid question syndrome; when the same question or same misunderstanding has been asked 1,000,000 times, if you are asking it/saying it the 1,000,001 th time, expect to get ridiculed.
No cleansing will not help you detoxify.
Your musles are not getting too big if you are in a calorie defict.
Yes lifting writing utensil sized weights to infinity is a waste of time.
Then why waste time replying?
So would you prefer that the people who have achieved success not post that doing these unnecessary things is a waste of time and/or potentially dangerous?0 -
OP, you also can't say successful people are awful and then turn around and say that you want everyone to be successful in the same thread.0
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Also, it's no wonder that our society and schools are having such a issue with bullying, considering this is the behavior that grown adults display when there is no one or nothing holding them to common manners. Just because everyone does it on the internet doesn't mean It should happen.
If you think someone saying "How did you become overweight if you can't eat at regular levels" is bullying, please look up Amanda Todd.
Then come back and talk about bullying. I'd say "go talk to her", but she's dead. Killed herself, you see. 16 year old girl.
Extremely tragic.
And you're extremely cheap to even compare the two events. You minimize her death by throwing it in with a discussion about how "rude" it is to ask about 1200 calories.
Um, seriously dude??
When did I compare those two events? Just because someone commits suicide doesn't mean that all other forms of bullying are not real or important..
And also, I never even mentioned it in reference to a question about 1200 calories. Wow...simply compared to the way the people in general (Adults in general) can treat and talk to other people when there is a sort of anonymity.0 -
There's kind of a volatile mixture of people on MFP that lends itself to this conflict.
On one end, you have people who are out of shape and just sick of it. They're often desperate, confused, and not overly familiar with internet forum culture. They want to get in better shape but are wracked with self-pity and ignorance.
On another end you have people who are in great shape. They've been doing this a long time. They're often young and internet-savvy. They also have the mindset of self-discipline, sacrifice, and independent study that has gotten them to that point. They largely understand what it takes and what the challenges are, because they've been there themselves. As a result they have little tolerance for the type of whining, blame games, and "special snowflake" bs.
This is a dangerous mixture. It results in people in the first group complaining about nothing working, or asking for advice.... then getting people in the second group responding with stark reality. It's not what they want to hear, and they're not being coddled or babied. So they get offended.
Does everyone fall into one of these groups? Of course not. But that's the genesis of most of the conflict that results in these types of threads. This dynamic - people who are out of shape and frustrated versus those who have busted their butts for a long time to create real results - is what drives a lot of the "I'm offended" threads.0 -
whatever happened to "if you can't say something nice (i would say insert 'positive'), don't say it all." if you feel the urge to belittle or degrade, keep it to yourself. it's not helpful. it doesn't matter if it has appeared on the threads 5,000 times. new people join all the time. keep the comments positive. i agree, some people are overly sensitive, but at the same time, how is being degrading or condescending in any way helpful?0
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It's not about successful or not.
It's about using success to belittle others or disregard their humanity to make yourself look smart. It's cheap.
Which does happen on here.0 -
question for the OP...
if somebody on MFP starts a thread about wanting to start a 40-day water fast, what exactly is the proper way to respond to that without being called rude?
Have a nice death!0 -
It is the nature of the beast. Every established community develops stupid question syndrome; when the same question or same misunderstanding has been asked 1,000,000 times, if you are asking it/saying it the 1,000,001 th time, expect to get ridiculed.
No cleansing will not help you detoxify.
Your musles are not getting too big if you are in a calorie defict.
Yes lifting writing utensil sized weights to infinity is a waste of time.
Then why waste time replying?
So would you prefer that the people who have achieved success not post that doing these unnecessary things is a waste of time and/or potentially dangerous?
No - but keep it positive. I see a lot of condescending trolling going on in these threads. it's not helpful at all and probably only makes the sensitive person feel worse about themselves. Good, positive advice is one thing. Telling someone they are an idiot is another.0 -
Has Anyone ever heard of Jillian Michaels. Was it rude when she said "everytime I look at a bagel I can feel my *kitten* getting bigger"? or when she is yelling at someone on the treadmill that "The only reasons to stop are puking, passing out, or dieing"?
Seriously some people need thicker skin
People from The Biggest Loser have gone on record to discuss how much they were abused on the show, and that the production is hardly close to reality. In general, I find that Jillian has a very loud mouth that can be incredibly irritating. I think her methods can be counterproductive for people who are very new to fitness, chasing them away instead of inspiring them to discover new ways to enjoy being active, instilling the idea that everyone must follow the same road at the same pace.
And anyone who doesn't like her style of training can feel free to change the channel or not hire her as a trainer. Some people do like her advice and methods though. She's been successful and the Biggest Loser is pretty popular, so you can't completely discredit her.
Anyone who doesn't like advice that I may give (or the advice of anyone else on this site) can skip over it or put me on ignore. Some people do like what I have to say though. I've been relatively successful and I have friends who regularly ask me questions, so you can't completely discredit me.
Do you see what I'm saying?
It goes back to - we're all different and we all want support in different ways.0 -
If you think someone saying "How did you become overweight if you can't eat at regular levels" is bullying, please look up Amanda Todd.
Then come back and talk about bullying. I'd say "go talk to her", but she's dead. Killed herself, you see. 16 year old girl.
Extremely tragic.
I'm pretty sure Amanda Todd didn't kill herself because someone pointed out to her that she once consumed more food and therefore consuming more should not be difficult for her now.
You really are kind of horrible for attempting to make that comparison.0 -
Also, it's no wonder that our society and schools are having such a issue with bullying, considering this is the behavior that grown adults display when there is no one or nothing holding them to common manners. Just because everyone does it on the internet doesn't mean It should happen.
If you think someone saying "How did you become overweight if you can't eat at regular levels" is bullying, please look up Amanda Todd.
Then come back and talk about bullying. I'd say "go talk to her", but she's dead. Killed herself, you see. 16 year old girl.
Extremely tragic.
And you're extremely cheap to even compare the two events. You minimize her death by throwing it in with a discussion about how "rude" it is to ask about 1200 calories.
Um, seriously dude??
When did I compare those two events? Just because someone commits suicide doesn't mean that all other forms of bullying are not real or important..
And also, I never even mentioned it in reference to a question about 1200 calories. Wow...simply compared to the way the people in general (Adults in general) can treat and talk to other people when there is a sort of anonymity.
1) This thread was prompted a "I can't reach 1200 calories" thread. Thus my reference to it.
2) Bullying leads to suicide. Life-long depression. Severe image issues. You said bullying happens here on MFP.
I gave an example of what bullying is.
Bullying is NOT receiving a snarky response on a weight loss forum. Bullying is applying psychological torture to destroy another person.
If you think we are attempting to psychologically destroy posters, then you need a SERIOUS reality check.0 -
It's not the rudeness (of which there is a fair amount) that is the problem.
It's the lack of empathy.
There's an old saying - people may forget what you say but they never forget how you make them feel.
This, exactly.0 -
Also, it's no wonder that our society and schools are having such a issue with bullying, considering this is the behavior that grown adults display when there is no one or nothing holding them to common manners. Just because everyone does it on the internet doesn't mean It should happen.
If you think someone saying "How did you become overweight if you can't eat at regular levels" is bullying, please look up Amanda Todd.
Then come back and talk about bullying. I'd say "go talk to her", but she's dead. Killed herself, you see. 16 year old girl.
Extremely tragic.
And you're extremely cheap to even compare the two events. You minimize her death by throwing it in with a discussion about how "rude" it is to ask about 1200 calories.
Is this what you would say to your child or someone else's after coming home from school saying they were verbally bullied by someone else?
For the record, I am not necessarily saying that every rude comment on here is bullying, but I am saying it is NO WONDER that are children are okay with being rude and derogatory to other people and thinking it's okay. Also, cyber bullying IS a real issue.0 -
If you think someone saying "How did you become overweight if you can't eat at regular levels" is bullying, please look up Amanda Todd.
Then come back and talk about bullying. I'd say "go talk to her", but she's dead. Killed herself, you see. 16 year old girl.
Extremely tragic.
I'm pretty sure Amanda Todd didn't kill herself because someone pointed out to her that she once consumed more food and therefore consuming more should not be difficult for her now.
You really are kind of horrible for attempting to make that comparison.
That is her point. She didn't kill herself over an off the cuff comment - which is not bullying.
She killed herself because she was bullied which is much more serious. People who cry "bully" because someone said "Don't do that, it's stupid." are the ones making the horrible comparison.0 -
No, the internet is nothing like real life. It does give someone a chance to talk crap and be degrading towards others out of cruelness without being face to face confronted or with little to no repercussions of their actions.
That's the thing about the internet - it's pretty representative of real life. You won't like everyone and you won't like what everyone has to say, but we're all entitled to our own personalities and means of expression.
When I was on vacation a couple of years ago, my daughter accidentally bumped into a smaller child in the pool. His father grabbed my daughter by her elbow and began to publicly berate her for her weight, when I tried to discuss the problem with him, he referred to me as 'big mama'. You're right. The Internet is not like real life. I find total strangers on the Internet to be FAR more respectful than bullies in real life.
... and then you punched him in the face, right?0 -
Has Anyone ever heard of Jillian Michaels. Was it rude when she said "everytime I look at a bagel I can feel my *kitten* getting bigger"? or when she is yelling at someone on the treadmill that "The only reasons to stop are puking, passing out, or dieing"?
Seriously some people need thicker skin
People from The Biggest Loser have gone on record to discuss how much they were abused on the show, and that the production is hardly close to reality. In general, I find that Jillian has a very loud mouth that can be incredibly irritating. I think her methods can be counterproductive for people who are very new to fitness, chasing them away instead of inspiring them to discover new ways to enjoy being active, instilling the idea that everyone must follow the same road at the same pace.
Thank you for saying what I was thinking, and very eloquently, too.0 -
There's kind of a volatile mixture of people on MFP that lends itself to this conflict.
On one end, you have people who are out of shape and just sick of it. They're often desperate, confused, and not overly familiar with internet forum culture. They want to get in better shape but are wracked with self-pity and ignorance.
On another end you have people who are in great shape. They've been doing this a long time. They're often young and internet-savvy. They also have the mindset of self-discipline, sacrifice, and independent study that has gotten them to that point. They largely understand what it takes and what the challenges are, because they've been there themselves. As a result they have little tolerance for the type of whining, blame games, and "special snowflake" bs.
This is a dangerous mixture. It results in people in the first group complaining about nothing working, or asking for advice.... then getting people in the second group responding with stark reality. It's not what they want to hear, and they're not being coddled or babied. So they get offended.
Does everyone fall into one of these groups? Of course not. But that's the genesis of most of the conflict that results in these types of threads. This dynamic - people who are out of shape and frustrated versus those who have busted their butts for a long time to create real results - is what drives a lot of the "I'm offended" threads.
*applause* QFT.0
This discussion has been closed.
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