When people ask for advice, stop being rude and degrading!

NutellaAddict

I thought this was a dating site :noway:

iAMsmiling

SHUT THE *kitten* UP

Um...no.

Ironic much?

Babeskeez

Dont ask stupid questions :devil:

samanthajade124

I think what it is is when people ask the same question that has been asked 1000 times before and could easily be found if the person would just do a search and then they could find out that same question has been ask 999 times before and they would find their answer.

Like the ones where people ask about weight gain during their period... answer is yes we all gain weight during our period, and should go away when period is done.

Another one is if I lift weights will I look like a man and the answer is .... no not unless you are a man.

I do find these questions get asked ALOT.

I understand that some people lack common sense or are too lazy to research something on their own before posting. But rather than being rude or degrading in a reply, it could be simply ignored. Then the poster would HAVE to look it up by themselves.

But FYI not everyone gains during their "TOM" ... I don't

ZoeLifts

You know, there are many different people in this world, some that just want to be told everything they are doing is fine and dandy (no, go ahead and eat only 600-700 calories a day, I support you in this!!), some want to hear the truth, some want to share their knowledge, and some get real sick of repeating themselves. We can't just tiptoe around and hold people's hands as they damage themselves, how would that be right?

But, all this being said, it is not up to anyone to dictate how other people choose to respond, and it's not up to anyone to dictate how people choose to take that response. It is life, this is a public forum with all sorts on here. From the rude and gross to the ones that think that everything they hear is rude and gross no matter what it is they are hearing.

ldrosophila

I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

You might be saying something intelligent or something moronic, but I dont know if you wrote gibberish or quoted Shakespeare. All I can focus on is your schlong avatar, LOL! At first I was repulsed but then I was intrigued. Reminds me of Ned Flanders when he was in the shower on the The Simpson's.

ZoeLifts

SHUT THE *kitten* UP

Um...no.

Ironic much?

My thoughts exactly. This is do as I say, not as I do, right?

Contrarian

In my experience, the actual rude posts are rare. Sarcasm, however, is rampant. The difference appears to be subjective, though. What one person thinks is rude and hurtful, another might think is direct and humourous.

"We're all different", as they say.

yourenotmine

I understand that. But I'm pretty sure this site was created to help people. Not have people that are trying to change feel bad because people lack common courtesy to keep their mouths shut if they don't have anything nice to say.

I don't think that having something "nice" to say is always helpful. Sometimes a helpful response is dissenting, because it's not really offering support to tell someone it's ok to continue starving, overtraining, or otherwise keeping up harmful behavior.

Reading posts on a forum is not as good as face to face dialogue, because you do not have the benefit of facial expression or voice inflection to tell you how the post was meant. Just because someone disagrees with you, does not mean he/she is being rude or lacking common courtesy. Is it also possible that some of the posts you are thinking of are A) misunderstood by you or nothing to do with the OP, but an inside joke between friends on this site?

Brittany_Kayy

Can't we all just get along? :laugh:

Oh, well heres some :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: for anyone who needs it today :drinker: <( thats water of course)

MelsAuntie

It's amazing that what is sometimes constructive criticism is taken by people as rude & degrading. It's hard to express emotion in written form, even with emoticons. I've seen very helpful comments taken the wrong way by people just cause they didn't like the answer.

THIS. Over and over and over again.

ZoeLifts

To make things easier all around, I'd like to see more "Hey, I noticed you were doing ______. This probably won't for you because _______. I'd recommend you trying something more like _______ because it will help you for these reasons _______" It will help the person in need, by explaining. When people are EDUCATED on why something does or doesn't work... it will eliminate stupid questions. Not all of them. But some!

I hate to break it to you, but even this sort of response would be met with someone saying you are being mean and a bully, and that is the truth because I have seen it happen a million times on here. And this is why we can't have nice things.

pamla77

I thought this was a dating site :noway:

^^ so does my husband lol

Crankstr

Is it rude to tell you that 800 or 900 calories is not acceptable and to EAT more?
You aren't doing yourself any favors eating that low.

TavistockToad

I find it difficult to even get to the 1200 calorie goal and end up around 800-900/day.

this AGAIN!? really?!

brattyworm

I thought this was a dating site :noway:

give it a few minutes that thread will pop up too.

myofibril

Thanks for your post. I now see the error of my ways and will change.

Said no one ever.

I understand why you made the post and that you are well intentioned but it really won't change anything. It's a bit like another useless piece of advice on these boards - use willpower. Willpower. Wow. The answer to all my prayers.. Like, why didn't I think of that? Willpower. Seriously, that is just genius. Praise be!

GreenChile3

That's the thing about the internet - it's pretty representative of real life. You won't like everyone and you won't like what everyone has to say, but we're all entitled to our own personalities and means of expression.

No, the internet is nothing like real life. It does give someone a chance to talk crap and be degrading towards others out of cruelness without being face to face confronted or with little to no repercussions of their actions.

This x1000

hfester

I've noticed that the rudest comments are often from those with a low number of posts. It's so obvious that they're trying to endear themselves to the other members by repeating the usual "advice."

Rude Newbies: you're trying too hard to impress total strangers. Get a life.

Rude Veterans: nobody is forcing you to click the reply key. Get a grip.

DandelionCupcakes

It gets frustrating, because before I ask something on here I spend an hour googling it.
Old MFP threads come up, I read them, take info from them, and continue my search.

So when people say "I CAN'T SEEM TO EAT 1200 CALORIES" we all know it's BS. Simply phrasing the question differently "What are some ways I can up my calories on food? I've gotten used to these certain meals and I'm looking for ways to change them up at all. My diary is open to any creative ideas"

It gets annoying because if people would just use their google search for something other than pr0n they wouldn't be getting on everyone's nerves.


All that being said, there's a definite difference between what I call the "befores" and the "afters"
Some MFP veterans are jaded and a bit rude...always a bit troll-y... but what do you expect? That's how life is. Rather than roll their eyes and not reply they'd rather make someone feel bad..or maybe it is all tough love, who knows.

DontStopB_Leakin

I think the world just needs better parents. If there were, their kids wouldn't be such arrogant, entitled, rude, (insert numerous other names here)... brats.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. Far from it, actually.

(I found out why I'm ranting this morning. I forgot to have my coffee!)

You're calling out other people for being "rude," yet you're insulting their parents and name calling.


The only person I see in this thread being rude is you. Oh, the irony.

ZoeLifts

BTW, we are not all here for the same reasons, we did not all start out the same way as everyone else on here. And that is the beauty of this fitness site. And that is also why there are so many different ways to express on the forums. Some people just live in bubbles where they think everyone else they interact with are exactly like themselves. That is pure ignorance.

samanthajade124

I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

This is not constructive criticism. Whoever this guy was wasn't trying to be helpful. He was being a being a douche.

I fail to see how this was douche-y. Honestly, I don't.

It really is mind-boggling to see someone say they can't manage to eat 1200 cals but yet they are significantly overweight. Maybe that comment set off a light bulb for someone.

As I stated previously, significantly overweight people at a higher quantity of unhealthy food. Personally, I've found that in my 10 weeks on here, eating foods that are healthy for you and actually fill you up consist of less calories... which for me makes it a bit harder to reach my calorie goal.

NutellaAddict

I've noticed that the rudest comments are often from those with a low number of posts. It's so obvious that they're trying to endear themselves to the other members by repeating the usual "advice."

Rude Newbies: you're trying too hard to impress total strangers. Get a life.

Rude Veterans: nobody is forcing you to click the reply key. Get a grip.

Trying to decide which one I am......I hit reply and I'm kinda new but have a lot of posts. um um um :bigsmile:

Pardyqueenxoxo

totally agree x xx

ZoeLifts

Is it rude to tell you that 800 or 900 calories is not acceptable and to EAT more?
You aren't doing yourself any favors eating that low.

QFT!!

JDBLY11

It really bugs me that even on a FITNESS website designed to help people LOSE WEIGHT AND GET IN SHAPE, the ones who are in prime physical condition are extremely rude and degrading toward the people who aren't all the way there yet. But at least they're doing something about it rather than just sitting at home!! Those people need to find another way to feel better about themselves rather than putting people down.

Personally, I've only had one person say something directed towards me. But I've been noticing it a lot more lately in the threads that I am reading.

For example the one I just read, the girl was asking if she could be concerned about dramatic weight loss because she was only eating 1200-1300 calories a day rather than the recommended 1700 some odd calories. One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

SHUT THE *kitten* UP. Yeah, people that were bigger ate a bigger quantity of unhealthy food. GET OVER IT. They're trying to change and be healthy. I know from my 10 weeks of being on here that when I eat healthier foods that are good for me and fill me up, I find it difficult to even get to the 1200 calorie goal and end up around 800-900/day.

The point is, they're here and they're trying to change their former habits. ENCOURAGE them and BE SUPPORTIVE. No one needs or wants your negativity. If you lack that decency, then find somewhere ELSE to be with other vain people like yourself. This is a place of support.

Well, that's my rant for today.
(Edited for a spelling error)

People who are big did not even necessarily eat too much unhealthy food. Some just ate way too much food in general. It is a common misconception that big people like me must just love unhealthy food. I've always eaten pretty healthy. I haven't drunk coke or juices in years. I hate fatty meat and am a little iffy towards meat in general. I like some sweets, mostly ice cream and some chocolate.I prefer whole grain, whole wheat, bread to white. I can pig out on fruit. I love it. I do not like much fast food and would prefer a home cooked meal. I have eaten some fast food but I never buy it for myself. Usually I stay away from fried foods. Portion control is so important to getting healthy.

tberrycastle

Agreed. Well put! :-)

ImtheOnethatsCool

It's amazing that what is sometimes constructive criticism is taken by people as rude & degrading. It's hard to express emotion in written form, even with emoticons. I've seen very helpful comments taken the wrong way by people just cause they didn't like the answer.

This happens daily. It's surprising how many people don't understand the meaning of the word Rude. Telling you what you don't want to hear does not equal rude. It's telling you what you don't want to hear.


And OP - telling people to shut the **** up. That actually *was* rude.

Fozzi43

It really bugs me that even on a FITNESS website designed to help people LOSE WEIGHT AND GET IN SHAPE, the ones who are in prime physical condition are extremely rude and degrading toward the people who aren't all the way there yet. But at least they're doing something about it rather than just sitting at home!! Those people need to find another way to feel better about themselves rather than putting people down.

Personally, I've only had one person say something directed towards me. But I've been noticing it a lot more lately in the threads that I am reading.

For example the one I just read, the girl was asking if she could be concerned about dramatic weight loss because she was only eating 1200-1300 calories a day rather than the recommended 1700 some odd calories. One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

SHUT THE *kitten* UP.

It was me who wrote that...and I won't shut the *kitten* up.......

Oh and I'm a WOMAN.