When people ask for advice, stop being rude and degrading!
Replies
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Some people do better with tough love.
It may not be for you, so just skip that response and go for the advice that you like.
That's the thing about the internet - it's pretty representative of real life. You won't like everyone and you won't like what everyone has to say, but we're all entitled to our own personalities and means of expression.
What she means to say is "I'm a *****, deal with it."
Internet is stark opposite of real life. People say stupid things on the internet due to lack of repercussions and anonymous posting.0 -
It really bugs me that even on a FITNESS website designed to help people LOSE WEIGHT AND GET IN SHAPE, the ones who are in prime physical condition are extremely rude and degrading toward the people who aren't all the way there yet. But at least they're doing something about it rather than just sitting at home!! Those people need to find another way to feel better about themselves rather than putting people down.
False. The rudest person to me on MFP is fat and ugly.Personally, I've only had one person say something directed towards me.
That'll change. You haven't been here very long.0 -
No, the internet is nothing like real life. It does give someone a chance to talk crap and be degrading towards others out of cruelness without being face to face confronted or with little to no repercussions of their actions.
That's the thing about the internet - it's pretty representative of real life. You won't like everyone and you won't like what everyone has to say, but we're all entitled to our own personalities and means of expression.
This x1000
Lol, ok. I'm pretty sure that anything I type here I would say to someone IRL.
If I had a family member complain to me that they couldn't eat 1200 calories and they were going to eat 800 to lose weight faster, I wouldn't hesitate to tell them they were wrong and what they were doing was actually bad for them.
I would even point out that they got fat by eating much, much, much more than that.
Do I walk around and point that stuff out to random people? No. But when I'm asked a question (which is what the forums are - a bunch of questions you're asking me and everyone else), I will provide a straight up answer. And I'm pretty sarcastic and blunt in real life.
I'm also nice and my mom was an excellent parent.
Have a nice day!0 -
You know, I sometimes wonder if I'm using a completely different MFP than other people.0
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It really bugs me that even on a FITNESS website designed to help people LOSE WEIGHT AND GET IN SHAPE, the ones who are in prime physical condition are extremely rude and degrading toward the people who aren't all the way there yet. But at least they're doing something about it rather than just sitting at home!! Those people need to find another way to feel better about themselves rather than putting people down.
Personally, I've only had one person say something directed towards me. But I've been noticing it a lot more lately in the threads that I am reading.
For example the one I just read, the girl was asking if she could be concerned about dramatic weight loss because she was only eating 1200-1300 calories a day rather than the recommended 1700 some odd calories. One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"
SHUT THE *kitten* UP. Yeah, people that were bigger ate a bigger quantity of unhealthy food. GET OVER IT. They're trying to change and be healthy. I know from my 10 weeks of being on here that when I eat healthier foods that are good for me and fill me up, I find it difficult to even get to the 1200 calorie goal and end up around 800-900/day.
The point is, they're here and they're trying to change their former habits. ENCOURAGE them and BE SUPPORTIVE. No one needs or wants your negativity. If you lack that decency, then find somewhere ELSE to be with other vain people like yourself. This is a place of support.
Well, that's my rant for today.
(Edited for a spelling error)
You know, there is this saying.... "treat others as you wish to be treated" BOOM.0 -
This is not reality.
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I read the thread. The poster was not trying to be hostile or hurt the OP's feelings and the OP was not offended. I believe the basic gist was eat a smaller portion of the ice cream that helped you gain weight if you are having trouble getting your cals for the day. It was a valid point
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I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.
It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"
This is not constructive criticism. Whoever this guy was wasn't trying to be helpful. He was being a being a douche.
I fail to see how this was douche-y. Honestly, I don't.
It really is mind-boggling to see someone say they can't manage to eat 1200 cals but yet they are significantly overweight. Maybe that comment set off a light bulb for someone.
As I stated previously, significantly overweight people at a higher quantity of unhealthy food. Personally, I've found that in my 10 weeks on here, eating foods that are healthy for you and actually fill you up consist of less calories... which for me makes it a bit harder to reach my calorie goal.
And I've found on my 455 days here that you can eat well over 1200 calories and still eat healthy. Sorry for your struggles. I would offer advice, but I don't think you'd want it.0 -
It really bugs me that even on a FITNESS website designed to help people LOSE WEIGHT AND GET IN SHAPE, the ones who are in prime physical condition are extremely rude and degrading toward the people who aren't all the way there yet. But at least they're doing something about it rather than just sitting at home!! Those people need to find another way to feel better about themselves rather than putting people down.
Personally, I've only had one person say something directed towards me. But I've been noticing it a lot more lately in the threads that I am reading.
For example the one I just read, the girl was asking if she could be concerned about dramatic weight loss because she was only eating 1200-1300 calories a day rather than the recommended 1700 some odd calories. One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"
SHUT THE *kitten* UP. Yeah, people that were bigger ate a bigger quantity of unhealthy food. GET OVER IT. They're trying to change and be healthy. I know from my 10 weeks of being on here that when I eat healthier foods that are good for me and fill me up, I find it difficult to even get to the 1200 calorie goal and end up around 800-900/day.
The point is, they're here and they're trying to change their former habits. ENCOURAGE them and BE SUPPORTIVE. No one needs or wants your negativity. If you lack that decency, then find somewhere ELSE to be with other vain people like yourself. This is a place of support.
Well, that's my rant for today.
(Edited for a spelling error)
Gotta say, the only ones I see people being rude to are the ones who are rude first.
It's rude to dismiss the advice of someone who has been there and done that. It's rude to say that the people with experience and knowledge are wrong. It's rude to pretend it's impossible for you eat enough calories to lose weight, let alone maintain or gain weight.
Encouraging and being supportive is one thing. Dealing with idiots who think they know better or are special snowflakes on a daily basis is another.
You want advice when you ask for it? Say thank you and follow the advice. Don't protest and say "oh not me" or "but..."0 -
It really bugs me that even on a FITNESS website designed to help people LOSE WEIGHT AND GET IN SHAPE, the ones who are in prime physical condition are extremely rude and degrading toward the people who aren't all the way there yet. But at least they're doing something about it rather than just sitting at home!! Those people need to find another way to feel better about themselves rather than putting people down.
I don't really think it's fair to lump all people in "prime phsyical condition" into one corner and say we/they all are rude to fat people. I know plenty of people on this site who are rude to everyone, they don't discriminate.
Joking aside, seriously if you think that fit people are just on here to make fun of fat people you're very misguided. There are a lot of people on here that are always very encouraging and you shouldn't group a certain type together and say they all act a certain way. I could turn it around and say that all fat people don't do anything but complain about their calories and and about the scale not moving, but why would I do that? That's making a generalization based on a couple of observations. That's not representative of the population.0 -
No.0
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It's the internet! It used to bother me but now I just ignore it. Also, alot of the time, the ones being buttwads are trolls.0
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SHUT THE *kitten* UP
Um...no.
Ironic much?
According to her apparently not, but only in her mind. Gotta love hypocrisy.0 -
This site has been designed to help people.....
but have you ever thought about some times people desire and require tough love to get motivated? even i myself was told years ago by my mom 'well honey you could spare a few pounds" when i complained my pants were too tight. AND IT WORKED! i lost 50 pounds in four months!
In saying that however - Some people are rude, its just who they are. Ignore them if you dont like it.0 -
AMEN GIRL
Some people are SO rude.
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Nope. If you're going to ask for advice, you don't get to make rules about how I deliver that advice to you. Most people need a good, swift kick in the *kitten* anyway.
Sorry I'm not sorry.0 -
I read the thread. The poster was not trying to be hostile or hurt the OP's feelings and the OP was not offended. I believe the basic gist was eat a smaller portion of the ice cream that helped you gain weight if you are having trouble getting your cals for the day. It was a valid point
This is what is known as "The Voice of Reason". Refreshing!0 -
No, the internet is nothing like real life. It does give someone a chance to talk crap and be degrading towards others out of cruelness without being face to face confronted or with little to no repercussions of their actions.
That's the thing about the internet - it's pretty representative of real life. You won't like everyone and you won't like what everyone has to say, but we're all entitled to our own personalities and means of expression.
It does. Like telling people to
SHUT THE *kitten* UP.
which is rude and one wouldn't generally hear face-to-face.
Very rude indeed. If the OP is complaining about people being rude, perhaps she shouldn't be screaming obscenities at them.0 -
Some MFP veterans are jaded and a bit rude...always a bit troll-y... but what do you expect? That's how life is. Rather than roll their eyes and not reply they'd rather make someone feel bad..or maybe it is all tough love, who knows.
I lurk here a lot more than I post. I read a lot, because I'm trying to learn a lot. The search function on the forums is a great tool. More people should learn how to use it.
The MFP vets - I'm pretty sure the only one's they are trying to make feel bad are the arrogant *kitten* spouting dangerously bad advice and pretending they are ****ing gods. Those people are a menace to anyone trying to improve their health.
If you turn on your sarcasm filter - you'll see that the vets are generally pretty supportive - sometimes it's not phrased the way our mom's would say it. Get over it.0 -
Some people do better with tough love.
It may not be for you, so just skip that response and go for the advice that you like.
That's the thing about the internet - it's pretty representative of real life. You won't like everyone and you won't like what everyone has to say, but we're all entitled to our own personalities and means of expression.
100% agree. 0 -
It's the internet were anyone can be fearless beind the keyboard and say whatever they want, be as rude as they want etc..... There are no ramifications for their actions.0
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I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.
It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"
This is not constructive criticism. Whoever this guy was wasn't trying to be helpful. He was being a being a douche.
I fail to see how this was douche-y. Honestly, I don't.
It really is mind-boggling to see someone say they can't manage to eat 1200 cals but yet they are significantly overweight. Maybe that comment set off a light bulb for someone.
As I stated previously, significantly overweight people at a higher quantity of unhealthy food. Personally, I've found that in my 10 weeks on here, eating foods that are healthy for you and actually fill you up consist of less calories... which for me makes it a bit harder to reach my calorie goal.
it is NOT hard
butter
peanut butter
nuts
seeds
avocado
olive oil dressing
ANYTHING.0 -
It's the internetz. Stick around, it gets better... depending.
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I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.
It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.
You might be saying something intelligent or something moronic, but I dont know if you wrote gibberish or quoted Shakespeare. All I can focus on is your schlong avatar, LOL! At first I was repulsed but then I was intrigued. Reminds me of Ned Flanders when he was in the shower on the The Simpson's.
lol I think his pick is funny as hell.0 -
Nope. If you're going to ask for advice, you don't get to make rules about how I deliver that advice to you. Most people need a good, swift kick in the *kitten* anyway.
Sorry I'm not sorry.
YEP!0 -
I read the thread. The poster was not trying to be hostile or hurt the OP's feelings and the OP was not offended. I believe the basic gist was eat a smaller portion of the ice cream that helped you gain weight if you are having trouble getting your cals for the day. It was a valid point
This is what is known as "The Voice of Reason". Refreshing!
Reason?!
there will none of that here, young lady!0 -
It's the internet were anyone can be fearless beind the keyboard and say whatever they want, be as rude as they want etc..... There are no ramifications for thier actions.
This works both ways.
In real life, you wouldn't hear people ranting at the top of their lungs in grocery stores to complete strangers about rude people, would you?
But on the internet, you do.
Cowards on both sides.
And if anyone started screaming SHUT THE *kitten* UP (quote from the OP), I'd most certainly be convinced of that person's rudeness.0 -
I understand that. But I'm pretty sure this site was created to help people. Not have people that are trying to change feel bad because people lack common courtesy to keep their mouths shut if they don't have anything nice to say. Like I said, just kind of ranting. I just think it's rude.
Either way, anyone that needs actual support and/or encouragement, feel free to add me I'll gladly help in any way that I can :flowerforyou:
well...see it this way. how come people are allowed to post the most stupid, dead horse questions but people can't respond unless they're being "nice"? why should new, ignorant users be allowed to run rampant, but long term, experienced users have to censor and regulate their responses? as a long time user of this site it drives me crazy to see someone asking something which could be googled, or searched for in a previous thread, or just common sense!
and i do believe the site is primarily, for calorie counting. the emotional support is just icing on the cake.0 -
"Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?"
That is a valid observation, it's not hostile, and it doesn't merit you telling that other user, who is also a person with feelings, to "shut the **** up".0 -
One more thing ... I once was more than 100 lbs overweight. And I didn't solve that problem by getting my feathers ruffled every time someone got a tad abrasive with me when telling me how ridiculous it was that I was eating 850 calories a day in the beginning.
When someone who was in "prime physical condition" offered to give me free advice on how to achieve my goals, I learned to shut my mouth and listen to what they had to say, and I was freaking ecstatic to do so.0
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