Is it your responsibility to stay in shape for your S/O...

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  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    So you believe that looks should have no bearing on choosing their potential mate?

    I believe the initial attraction is probably based on looks. But, you certainly shouldn't only marry the person based on what they look like at that time. It doesn't take a genius to know that looks change, body shapes change, illnesses can happen, etc. You should know that no matter what happens to that person's looks, you'll love them forever because of who they are on the inside.
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
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    Someone else's happiness with my body is not my responsibility.

    That being said, The Mister has always known me as superfat. He's not small, either. I don't expect him to lose weight or whatever, but I support him if he does. He's supporting me with my decision, too.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    So men don't really dig the sweatpants, wife beater, ponytail, and no makeup combo?

    Actually, my husband digs me in sweatpants, ponytail, and no makeup just the same as when we're dressed up for a formal.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    So you believe that looks should have no bearing on choosing their potential mate?

    I believe the initial attraction is probably based on looks. But, you certainly shouldn't only marry the person based on what they look like at that time. It doesn't take a genius to know that looks change, body shapes change, illnesses can happen, etc. You should know that no matter what happens to that person's looks, you'll love them forever because of who they are on the inside.

    Illnesses and accidents happen, yes. But assuming nothing of this sort happens, and your physical fitness can be reasonably improved with a diet and exercise change, I fully believe that you should.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Who else's responsibility would it be? :huh:

    I like this answer. Is is then HIS responsiblity? OR my mom's? Or the government's? Who's?
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,302 Member
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    Yes, it is your responsibility to stay in shape.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    I think it's important to keep the attraction, but at the same time I don't think either partner should have to kill themselves to become something they're not. My fiance's parents separated. One of the reasons was because his mother stopped taking care of herself. She gained a lot of weight with each child and never got rid of the weight. She just stopped caring. I don't plan on "letting myself go" after I get married. I like getting into shape and would rather keep my shape.
  • rnroadrunner
    rnroadrunner Posts: 402 Member
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    ooopps
  • SUPERhecticMOM
    SUPERhecticMOM Posts: 61 Member
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    I stay in shape for my boyfriend.
    I don't care what my husband thinks.


    LOVE THIS!!! LMFAO!!
  • tabik30
    tabik30 Posts: 443
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    Yes def! False advertising
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
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    I never under stood "Letting yourself go" after marriage. It's not necessarily to keep your SO attracted to you, but more so to remain healthy and happy. Yes, I understand a certain "comfort zone" sets in but that doesn't mean either of you should let yourselves go. You don't give up bathing, you don't give up your oral hygiene so why give up your health?
  • AliciaStinger
    AliciaStinger Posts: 402 Member
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    I'd say a little of both - it is your responsibility to make sure you're healthy enough to actually spend your life with that person. At the same time, I agree with the poster who said:
    If you're getting to married to someone who only wants to be with you when you're hot, you shouldn't have gotten married to them in the first place.

    If they can't accept you when you've gained, then were they really being honest about why they loved you? Or if they loved you?

    Edit: then again, some people may not want to be healthy enough to live a full life with the person they married. As Johnny Carson said, "Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die." I'm sure there are plenty of women who feel the same way.
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
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    Absolutely! People often get complacent in relationships - I think you should always try to look your best for yourself - and your partner.

    This. I feel the same way. At the same time I am getting in shape for myself, my partner will just enjoy the product of my hard work..
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    Illnesses and accidents happen, yes. But assuming nothing of this sort happens, and your physical fitness can be reasonably improved with a diet and exercise change, I fully believe that you should.

    Like I said, I believe it is my responsibility to my husband and children to keep myself healthy (not smoking, not using drugs, not participating in a dangerous lifestyle, etc). I do not consider maintaining a certain size or weight a responsiblity I "owe" my husband, though.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Only if you're a woman.
  • SuccessHere
    SuccessHere Posts: 240 Member
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    Yes I think it's both the man and the woman's responsibility to stay fit so they can remain attractive for their significant other.
  • caspergirl7
    caspergirl7 Posts: 590 Member
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    Should make an effort to stay in shape IMO

    ^^AGREED!!!
  • NicoleisQuantized
    NicoleisQuantized Posts: 344 Member
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    I stay in shape for my boyfriend.
    I don't care what my husband thinks.

    LMAO. You win this thread.
  • PilatesConvert
    PilatesConvert Posts: 55 Member
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    It is my responsibility to remain youthful in spirit, vibrant, and healthy for myself and my partner.

    We both value those things and we both expect them of each other. If he stopped being that guy he wouldn't be the person I fell in love with, or someone I could easily respect. Taking care of ourselves and our bodies is part of that. Also, we want to be parents who show those values to our children. To do that, we have to both embody them.
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    I think it depends on the relationship and what each person expects out of it, there's no one right answer. I went from 125 to 185 over several years and my SO never said anything negative about it, I really appreciate him for that. However, I will not go back to my HW, I don't like it personally, I didn't like my body at that weight and I didn't feel good either (I wasn't eating well or being active). I don't think love should be conditional on appearance, but physical attraction is a different story and I think we should work to stay attractive to each other, but I'd love him no matter what, I really don't care about his weight as long as it doesn't affect his health or confidence.

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