Nice guys vs Bad boys

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  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    I think that any guy who refers to himself as a 'nice guy' most likely isn't.

    False. My husband knows he's a nice guy, and he's pretty much a saint. Yes, I'm biased, but my parents and sisters all say he's the nicest guy they've ever known, too.
  • mikkijane1
    mikkijane1 Posts: 50 Member
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    I dated a "bad guy" for a few years. He treated me horribly, never had a job, used his family for money, etc etc. I was young when I dated him, and I guess I thought I could fix him. I wised up and left the jerk, and am now happily married to a man who treats me like a princess!
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    once you have the bad boys for awhile,,, you realize that you really want the nice boys.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    head, meet desk.

    What is a good guy and a bad boy? I date humans. They are diverse.
  • operation_cute
    operation_cute Posts: 588 Member
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    definitley Nice guys :) As long as they still act like men lol. My boyfriend is a perfect balance <3
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Just about every guy that I've ever met has told me that my experience is true.

    Women tend to sleep with the bad boys and then complain about them to the nice guys that they don't sleep with.

    I’m pretty sure everyone knows at least one Nice Guy. You know, those guys who think women only want to date *kitten* and just want be friends with the nice guys. These guys are plagued with what those of us who don’t suck call Nice Guy Syndrome.

    Jeff Fecke of Shakesville.com explained Nice Guy Syndrome well here:


    All right. Seriously. A Nice Guy® is a guy who tells you, in a bitter, resentful tone, that women don’t date “nice guys,” they only date “bad boys,” and because he’s “too nice,” women only view him as a friend.

    Um… that doesn’t sound very nice.

    One big thing I hate about Nice Guys is their implication that women who don’t want to date them, for whatever reason, are *****es, sluts, ugly, or whatever other nasty insult they can come up with. But the thing I hate most? The Friend Zone.

    Even Superman is a Nice GuyThe Friend Zone is a bull****, misogynistic, make-believe land Nice Guys have come up with to demonize women for not wanting to date them. They use it as an excuse to ignore the fact that there are Actual Reasons behind their decision to not pursue a relationship or have sex with this guy. You know, like not being physically attracted to them. Or not being able to connect with them. Or seeing through their crap and realizing that the only reason these guys are even friends with them in the first place is so they can get laid.

    It’s honestly one of the biggest loads of crap I’ve ever heard. Nice Guys are arrogant, egotistical, selfish douche bags who run around telling the world about how they’re the perfect boyfriend and they’re just so nice. But you know what? If these guys were genuinely nice, they wouldn’t be saying things like “the ***** stuck me in the friend zone because she only likes *kitten*.” Guess what? If she actually only liked *kitten*, then she would likely be super attracted to you because you are one.

    Honestly. Is it really that unbearable to be friends with a person? Women don’t only exist to date or have sex with you. We are living, thinking creatures who maybe—just maybe—want to date and sex people we’re attracted to. And that doesn’t make any of us *****es. It makes us human.

    Just Friends, the early beginnings of the Friend ZoneI feel like Nice Guy Syndrome and the existence of the Friend Zone really exploded in 2005 when the movie Just Friends came out. The main character, portrayed by Ryan Reynolds, was always just a friend to the love of his life… until, of course, the end, when she magically fell in love with him.

    Movies like this are really kind of poisonous. It puts the idea into people’s heads that if they wait out the Friend Zone, the woman responsible for their distress will just wake up one day and realize they’re in love with them. And they’ll tell themselves (and everyone else) they deserve it, over and over again. But you know what? You don’t deserve the dirt on my shoe if you don’t treat me with respect. Actual respect, not the kind you feign in an attempt to get me into bed with you.

    This is my message to all the Nice Guys out there: if you call a woman a *****, a slut, a skank, a *kitten*, ugly, whatever, because she doesn’t want you, you are not nice. If you’re only nice to a woman because you want to be with her, you are not nice. And if you whine about constantly being Friend Zoned, it’s probably because you are not nice. End of story.

    Written by Alisse Desrosiers
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    summary:

    women are not vending machines that you put nice into until the sex falls out.

    Also, men aren't A or B. They are human. Abusive *kitten* come off as nice sometimes. And nice guys are ****s sometimes. And any guy I date, regardless of who he is, is gonna be someone I complain about because relationships are complicated and loving sometimes hurts.
  • Ninachka87
    Ninachka87 Posts: 2
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    So True! :)
  • fit_spired_vicky
    fit_spired_vicky Posts: 152
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    Who cares, if you can make my inner slut come out Im all yours.
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
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    I'll share my experience, which is by no means meant to be interpreted as the universal truth.

    In high school, the majority of girls (e.g. 80-90%) went for the 'bad boys' (e.g. delinquents, playas/dawgs, or all-purpose dumb@$$es), but to be fair, you'd be hard-pressed to throw a stick in the air and not hit one! I was one of the few "nice guys" and of course was "friend-zoned" by all my female friends.
    Fast-forward 10-20 years, most of these same girls are tired of all the 'bad boys' and want a 'nice guy', but many of the 'nice guys' have... ummm... (trying to keep it P.C.)... expanded their horizons and found that they were a valued commodity outside of the neighborhoods in which they grew up. Now these same girls who 'friend-zoned' the 'nice guys' back in the day are verbally bashing the 'nice guys' at every turn because the 'nice guys' didn't wait around for them and went out into the world got someone on their arm that doesn't look like the 'girls back home'! Oh well, you snooze, you lose!
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    I dated a "bad guy" for a few years. He treated me horribly, never had a job, used his family for money, etc etc. I was young when I dated him, and I guess I thought I could fix him. I wised up and left the jerk, and am now happily married to a man who treats me like a princess!

    This. Girls have a bad habit of thinking they can "cure" certain guys of douchebaggery. It's a curse. :/
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    I'll share my experience, which is by no means meant to be interpreted as the universal truth.

    In high school, the majority of girls (e.g. 80-90%) went for the 'bad boys' (e.g. delinquents, playas/dawgs, or all-purpose dumb@$$es), but to be fair, you'd be hard-pressed to throw a stick in the air and not hit one! I was one of the few "nice guys" and of course was "friend-zoned" by all my female friends.
    Fast-forward 10-20 years, most of these same girls are tired of all the 'bad boys' and want a 'nice guy', but many of the 'nice guys' have... ummm... (trying to keep it P.C.)... expanded their horizons and found that they were a valued commodity outside of the neighborhoods in which they grew up. Now these same girls who 'friend-zoned' the 'nice guys' back in the day are verbally bashing the 'nice guys' at every turn because the 'nice guys' didn't wait around for them and went out into the world got someone on their arm that doesn't look like the 'girls back home'! Oh well, you snooze, you lose!

    Well. That sounds about right if you turn the tables too... like I the uncool kids are happy and awesome now, and the "cool kids" are all like alcoholics.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
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    I dated a "bad guy" for a few years. He treated me horribly, never had a job, used his family for money, etc etc. I was young when I dated him, and I guess I thought I could fix him. I wised up and left the jerk, and am now happily married to a man who treats me like a princess!

    This. Girls have a bad habit of thinking they can "cure" certain guys of douchebaggery. It's a curse. :/

    I needs to find me some of these "fix it" girls :love: :laugh:
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
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    i only wanted bad boys at first, then i decided my heart had been stomped too many times by *kitten* who cheated on me. then i fell in love with a very intelligent man, who happened to be a nice guy.

    never going back! he even does the dishes, and cares about my feelings! keeper x a million..
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Consensus seems to be "bad boy with a heart of gold." He's a loner, a rebel, but treats his lady like a queen. Sounds to me like women want to feel special. A nice guy is nice to everyone, a bad boy just nice to her. The unpredictability must play into it as well - if he doesn't treat you like dirt every once in a while, than he must not mean it when he treats you right. Sigh.
  • HannahJDiaz25
    HannahJDiaz25 Posts: 329 Member
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    Nice guy to me = responsible, makes me feel beautiful and loved, occasionally spoils me, lets me feed him healthy food :laugh: , good friend etc...

    BUT ALSO

    Nice guy = somebody who is not a pushover, who can stand up to me, who doesn't let me run all over him, someone I can respect and trust. Someone with just enough "bad" in him to keep it interesting, manly, etc

    So basically just read a good romance novel...they tend to have these strange hybrids of manly, nice men :laugh: :laugh: (Or you could come hang out with my husband :wink: )
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
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    I LOVE good guys - kind hearted, sweet, romantic, open & honest, loving, etc. I can't stand the bad boys, the BS, the constant guessing - too much drama for me.
  • ghhosstt
    ghhosstt Posts: 112
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    SOME (not all) self-proclaimed "nice guys" are usually patsies who let themselves be walked all over, or are actually passive-aggressive jerks who play the victim card. In that regard nice guys might finish last, but it should really be "passive guys finish last".
    I prefer men who are assertive enough to know what they want, and confident enough to know who they are, but aren't going to be manipulative, controlling, or deceitful. I've been intrigued by the bad-boy persona when I was younger, but I've always preferred the goofy, endearing types. I like a good sense of humor, wanting to tame a bad boy just seems like a power struggle that would come with too much drama.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    Question is: What does the woman you are after want? Women are very strange creatures and I'm assertive to a point. I'm not going to play games just to go out with them. If they want to date, we'll date. If they don't, their loss and I'll move on.

    Whatever you do, don't change for a woman and don't ask her to change for you. You are who you are! They should deal with it or GTFO.
  • SabrinaLC
    SabrinaLC Posts: 133 Member
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    Can't I have both???

    oh yes. yes you can.

    Aww good! Thank you :-)

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