Unsupportive....wwyd?

You should probably set him on fire and make it look like an accident. He sounds like a selfish man-child and should running screaming the opposite direction. Besides I'm always the most motivated to get hot after a break-up, so keep up the good work lady!!

Okay, I just saw your example.

What is happening is a classic pattern. You may think this is the best you can do. Or perhaps you think if you did something, he would change. He says horrible things. You feel hurt, but endeavor to do better next time. Thus, you inadvertently become an enabler for his behavior. You are unwittingly reinforcing it.

You may leave, but he may act all sweet, and tell you he has changed, and since this is all you know, you may be tempted to give him another chance. He will go back to his old ways. And everything will repeat itself.

I want to ask you this. Even if you are scared, and believe you can't find better, think about what your kids learn when they see their father demean you like this. I am not going to guarantee you you will find find a better man like many of the others have because IT IS NOT ABOUT FINDING ANOTHER MAN! It is about respecting yourself enough not to need another man to make you feel better about yourself. Then, the relationship that you have is much likely to be healthy.

I will however tell you that it is vastly better for your kids grow up in an environment where their mother is not just improving her physical health but her emotional sense of well-being.

Crying over his chicken and shouting insults, what a baby. Get rid of him, you look fine, you'll find someone else.

A man doesn't treat people like that.

Leave him.

You don't *need* anyone but yourself. Period.

Leave. Quickly and completely.

I tell Him to back off.. I love myself doesnt He

You do not want to marry this person so that he can treat you this way for life. He won't change. RUN!

We aren't married.. Engaged.




And I think I might have to go find myself a wife :-P

Been there. My ex was incredibly abusive to me, and not so much the kids. Too much yelling, always criticizing, etc. in addition to all that. Not saying your guy is just like mine, just giving a back story so you can see I have an idea of what you are going through. I made excuses for him. The harder I tried, the worse he was to me. I stayed for seven years because of our three children.

Bottom line: Never put up with someone you wouldn't want your kids to marry. Be your own Mamma Bear. Protect yourself like you would a child. Would you want your child to be spoken to this way? Act accordingly. Studies (don't remember which off hand) have shown that girls grow up to marry men that were like their father or male role model, and boys grow up to marry women like their mother or female role model. How you two interact sets the pace for all of their relationships.

If you can't sit down together without kids and have a productive conversation about the issue, then that tells you all you need to know. In my experience, when someone asks a question like yours, they already know the answer but are not confident enough in themselves to take action.

Repeat after me: I am beautiful and strong. I love myself. I deserve respect. I am worthy of love and happiness. Do what you need to do for you and your kids, whatever that may be. You have all the answers you need already. Only you can decide what is best for you. I hope for the happiest of endings. Friend me if you like, I would be happy to support you on MFP!

That is how my ex husband was and he would constantly put me down and was very verbally abusive towards me. Now that we are divorced, I can see how much happier I am not constantly having to apologize for every little thing I do. I can just be ME!!! We had a daughter together, but you should never feel like you have to stay in a bad relationship just because you have children. They will be much better off not seeing all the drama. I do not want my daughter to think it is okay for men to treat a woman that way. This is why I am setting a good example for her about how strong her mommy can be!!

This, in every way. I took four years of my ex's controlling, belittling, insecure, manipulative, ABUSIVE behavior before I got the courage to finally get out for good.

There's a huge difference between just being unsupportive and being abusive. You and your children deserve better...whether that means spending some time apart and making it clear to him that you're NOT going to tolerate that kind of behavior, or leaving him altogether, that's up to you. You know your situation better than we do, obviously. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

If my significant other EVER called me such hurtful things his *kitten* would be out the door so fast he wouldn't know what hit him.

Abuse isn't just physical and no one should ever tolerate that crap from their partner.

If my husband said that to me I would leave him...seriously!!!! That is verbal/emotional abuse right there!!!!!! Some day he will talk to your kids that way, do you want your kids to ever go through that? I definitely wouldn't. Don't ever think you have to stay with him because you have kids with him. Praying for you in whatever you decide.

I'll Bet ya 5 bucks he is cheating on you and is afraid you will do the same.
He wants to keep you fat and insecure so he can continue.

Dump the idiot right now.

I agree. I had an ex treat me like this. Sure enough, he was cheating.

He is majorly insecure, counseling but don't let him derail you. Making yourself healthier will help your kids to be healthy too.

He sounds jealous and he's emotionally abusive. You are in danger...sounds like time for some counseling or get the heck out of there.

It's a mind game. If he keeps you heavy, and keeps you thinking you are nothing without him, you'll always stay with him. It's control because he is afraid you will realize you have more option. You need to leave him.