How to tell her she's gaining weight...

She knows. She will prob be pissed if you say something to her. But honestly looking back on when I started gaining weight I really wish my husband (then BF) would have said something. But I would have been pissed if he did though. The best way is to try to do active things with her and start talking about how you want to be healthier and how you want to be more active maybe she will open up about her weight and bring it up herself.

To everyone who says "She already knows" Are you sure she knows? She might not be aware that she's getting a little on the chunky side and if she is and she's not doing anything about it then why shouldn't it be ok for her SO to say something to her about it? Sure she might get mad but so what? Why p*ssy foot around something like that? If you don't like it and you're not ok with it and you're concerned for their health or you're beginning to not be attracted to them any more then say something.

Just tell her that she looks festive

I thought I just gained like 5, MAYBE 10 pounds.. My idea of myself and the reality are obviously skewed. It was my fiance that said something one day and after a big fight about it, I bought a scale. OMFG. Then I really looked in the mirror. OMFG again.

I realized that if I didn't do something now, I would wake up a year from now and be 100 lbs heavier. That wouldn't be awesome. That's why I am here now.

Even though it hurt my feelings somewhat, I'm glad that he was honest with me because NOBODY else is. And now he recognizes the hard work I've been putting in and appreciates what I'm doing (he's skinny and lifts weights so it's not throwing stones) so that I don't end up like my family (both because of appearance and because of health).

A woman only wants to hear how beautiful she is. Then and only then will she be happy enough to lose it on her own.

The only way you could pull it off and avoid getting shot is to lie. Tell her you're struggling, you're losing your motivation and will to do this. Say that you were hoping if she'd join MFP and do this with you that you could make it. You need her as a support system. If that won't work, say nothing at all.

this is bullspit! if you are in a relationship with someone you love, and you are concerned for them you should be able to tell them about your concerns without being a jerk about it. im going through the same situation and ive tried everything to help her, and motivate her, but ive also been very worried about hurting her feelings, at this point i dont care. she knows she has to lose weight, i know she has to lose it. but she refuses to even try. this isnt about not being attracted to her, i am. its about her health, and our son. its very painfull to me to watch her get upset and depressed when trying on clothes etc. i want to help her but, end up being the *kitten* for saying anything. so im supposed to just sit back and watch her get more and more un healthy and not mention it because shes a woman and it might hurt her feelings? thats a week excuse

A woman only wants to hear how beautiful she is. Then and only then will she be happy enough to lose it on her own.

Wrong.

This is zero motivation to lose weight because you just let her know that even though it bothers you she's gaining, it's really ok because she's beautiful.

I don't see anything wrong with telling her. If you guys have a good honest relationship, there's nothing that shouldn't be said. The key is, how you tell her, and don't be surprised when she fires back with your negatives. We all have them Talk it out! Communication is KEY!!!!

My husband and I are very open about our thoughts on each others' bodies. There is nothing wrong with saying, "I've noticed you've gained a little weight.. is there something I can do to help with your fitness? I want us both to live long, happy lives together." ... it's true, it's thoughtful, and it shows a team effort.


If you say, "Baby, put down the oreos. I know your muffin top is getting Costco-big." you are likely to get served.

this

Obviously,she knows.

Don't tell her. There is such thing as justifiable homicide, you know.

She's going to be tried by a jury of her peers...she'll get away with it too!!!

Nope. I have toldy husband to tell me if he thinks I am getting chunky and he did. Sometimes people need a wake up call and if you are going to get upset because the person you married is telling you you are not the same person they fell in love with because you've put on some pounds then you have issues. There is no need to get upset when honesty is involved. My husband did. It marry a fat woman therefore I would expect him to be upset and tell me when I am putting on weight.

Whether or not she "already knows it" if she is not doing anything about it and it clearly bothers her SO why should t something be said?

I agree with this. I prefer honesty from my spouse. If I ask him a question about my weight, I want and expect an honest answer.

As for "she knows it", honestly you don't know that. Some women can be in serious denial. I was. I wish my husband had told me I was putting weight on a few months ago. I could have nipped this in the bud before it got worse.

THIS Exactly.

I'd kill him. It's not like anyone DOESN'T know themselves that they have gained weight! Mentioning it is nothing but rude.

How about being constructive and trying to get her to do something active with you, suggest healthier meals WITHOUT being obvious, tell her how GOOD she looks, etc. etc.?

last year my husband said those words, although it was put a little differently, he said, "i joined a gym today on my lunch break, go up to the location near our house and you join, too." i was hurt of course, but knew he was right. i'm now down 43 pounds and feel amazing- best shape of my life at age 41. i am thankful he said something. i would still be sitting on my fat@$$ if he had kept quiet. (added: we have been together for 22 years and married for 20, so i think that does have something to do with it. if we were newly dating, not sure i would react the same way.)

Won't go into the backstory...but i'll spark the discussion. Ladies, would you get upset at a husband/boyfriend/boo if he told you maybe you put on some lbs. Fellas have you ever said the dreaded words? would you?

I may be the only one that thinks this, but there is a way to put it out there without offending her. First of all, DO NOT SAY "You are gaining weight." She already knows...she has to be able to tell by the fit of her clothes and the way she feels. Now, if you were to try and get healthy with her, that would be totally different. Perhaps join a gym together, or try new and healthy recipes. This could be tricky though, because the moment she thinks you are no longer attracted to her, there is a bit of confidence she will never get back when she is with you.

Example: I have a friend that I was interested in a while ago, and he basically told me in so many words that he was not attracted to bigger girls (even though he is a bigger guy, but that is another story lol.) Anyhow, now that I am smaller, he really wants to date..but I can't. What is this guy going to do when he has kids, and his wife gets pregnant? She is going to gain weight....get my drift? I don't want to have to stay small for anyone but myself, and I dont want to have to worry that my man will leave me if I gain 20 pounds.

On the other hand, if my bf (or future bf lol) wants to go to the gym with me, and wants to try new and healthy foods..that is kind of sexy!!! Do it together, don't put yourself in a position of you verses her.