Open Relationships?

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  • timmy2strikes
    timmy2strikes Posts: 99 Member
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    It is fine if you can take ALL emotions out of it. Ifyou and your partner can go into to it with NO emotions and just have sex then you can do it. If one of you can't do that then it wont work. You also have to make sure the third party is able to do that as well. You also have to make sure both of you are ok with bringing in either sex partner. You cannot always bring in a girl to please him. He has to be willing to bring in a guy for you as well.
  • emmie0622
    emmie0622 Posts: 167 Member
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    I could never go there but to each his/her own. I could never be into somethin like that because I can't be sexual outside of a love relationship.
  • RotterdamNL
    RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
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    @paleo, i did, many times but looking back at it i wish i did it different. But still, i was single when i did that, i could never do it if i love someone let alone someone else does my partner.
  • RotterdamNL
    RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
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    marriage is such an antiquated, archaic and out dated idea.

    In your opinion. Some of us still find value in it -- and not just based on "government incentive."

    If you don't want to get married, don't.. That's a different idea, but not a superior one.

    And to some of us, sex isn't "just sex." It's a very intimate, emotional and vulnerable thing. Why would I want to share that with someone I don't love?
    What she says
  • f1ctional
    f1ctional Posts: 235
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    I weep for the future of humanity.
  • cccerberus
    cccerberus Posts: 26 Member
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    exactly right.
    aside from the weeping part..

    but yeah, we're headed down a bad path, and have been for the past few decades
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    exactly right.
    aside from the weeping part..

    but yeah, we're headed down a bad path, and have been for the past few decades

    What has been will be again,
    what has been done will be done again;
    there is nothing new under the sun.

    (I'm not a religious person, but this pretty much sums it up. Humanity has always been crappy, in the general sense.)
  • quietattheback
    quietattheback Posts: 84 Member
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    fishing much??
  • StormyGal8
    StormyGal8 Posts: 184 Member
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    I just love how everyone acts like non-monogamous relationships are some "new age" thing, and we are destroying the future of our species....
    Sorry this has been going on for millenia!
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    I find it interesting that those who promote "the lifestyle" make sure their kids and family know nothing about it.

    Why not? If you are so secure in your lifestyle, what's there to hide from those who are closest to you. Live out loud.

    It's easy to come on a forum, hide behind anonymity and talk about hooking up with other couples.
  • TripleJ3
    TripleJ3 Posts: 945 Member
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    I find it interesting that those who promote "the lifestyle" make sure their kids and family know nothing about it.

    Why not? If you are so secure in your lifestyle, what's there to hide from those who are closest to you. Live out loud.

    It's easy to come on a forum, hide behind anonymity and talk about hooking up with other couples.

    Do you talk to your kids and family about your sexual acts? Or do you keep that between you and who you are having sex with?

    While my Husband and I are not in an open relationship, I don't really care if other people are. Not my business. Marriage was never about love, it was a business/property decision. I have my reasons for getting married, I wanted to, but I don't see it as something every one has to do anymore.
  • TripleJ3
    TripleJ3 Posts: 945 Member
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    My wedding vows said "Faithful unto you alone"...and I am

    Mine too..and 21 years later, still sticking to it.

    I agree it should be one girl/one guy - I'd never do this lifestyle. But these folks just are into it, so if it works for them ok...live and let live.

    It could be a generational thing to. I'm pretty old school/romantic. These days its all about instant gratification and living for pleasure and these things are way more open than they used to be.
    [/quote


    I think you're right. The sixties were all about old school and romance. People "these days" are doing something "new".......:huh:
  • ilikepandasyay
    ilikepandasyay Posts: 96 Member
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    i think it is 100% wrong. there has to be something deep down that is boring the both of you. i dont see how having sex with someone new will help a relationship or spice it up. all it does it take away from that said relationship and it is just plain wrong! cheating all the way, i dont care if the other person in the relationship knows or not. still messed up.

    rather than have an open relationship why dont you spice things up between the two of you? or invite a 3rd person in? i dont see how going seperate ways and doing things without your spouse or loved one would work in the long run.

    but like everyone else, this is just my opinion :) do whatever makes you happy. for me to be happy, it is to be in a loving and commited relationship with my significant other! and he is amazing that i dont even need to think about things like that!

    My relationship is plenty spicy. Us seeing other people has more to do with who we are as ourselves, and very little to do with who we are as a couple.
  • ilikepandasyay
    ilikepandasyay Posts: 96 Member
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    Also I'd like to make this VERY CLEAR:


    Your marriage vows can say WHATEVER YOU WANT THEM TO as long as there's a couple required words said. NONE of the required words include "forsake all others." If that is what YOUR vow said and what YOU beleive for YOUR relationship, more power to you that is NOT what my vows said nor what my renewal vows will say. Ever.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    I find it interesting that those who promote "the lifestyle" make sure their kids and family know nothing about it.

    Why not? If you are so secure in your lifestyle, what's there to hide from those who are closest to you. Live out loud.

    It's easy to come on a forum, hide behind anonymity and talk about hooking up with other couples.
    really? Do monogamous couples discuss their sex life with their kids?
  • obrendao
    obrendao Posts: 318
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    My wedding vows said "Faithful unto you alone"...and I am

    Mine too..and 21 years later, still sticking to it.

    I agree it should be one girl/one guy - I'd never do this lifestyle. But these folks just are into it, so if it works for them ok...live and let live.

    It could be a generational thing to. I'm pretty old school/romantic. These days its all about instant gratification and living for pleasure and these things are way more open than they used to be.
    [/quote


    I think you're right. The sixties were all about old school and romance. People "these days" are doing something "new".......:huh:

    I never said the sixties. I'm not saying that it is "new." But it is more out in the OPEN as far as it being acceptable in this day. And I said it COULD be a generational thing. I didn't state a hypothesis and am not interested in doing a lecture on anthropology. Forgive my ignorance. When I said old school/romantic, I am talking about a time when a men and women valued each other and treated sex as a sacred, spiritual and close personal relationship, only between them. Maybe there is no generation attached to that?

    I still think that the more amoral and self-centered people get, the more of this will become normal. I personally don't like it but I say live and let live.
  • MandaLeigh123
    MandaLeigh123 Posts: 351 Member
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    Why is everyone assuming that all marriage vows are the same & that everyone's marriage has the same expectations? Unless you know specifically what one partner has vowed or promised to their partner, you can't assume an open relationship/marriage would automatically dishonor vows... Let's try to open our minds a little here & learn to be tolerant.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Also I'd like to make this VERY CLEAR:


    Your marriage vows can say WHATEVER YOU WANT THEM TO as long as there's a couple required words said. NONE of the required words include "forsake all others." If that is what YOUR vow said and what YOU beleive for YOUR relationship, more power to you that is NOT what my vows said nor what my renewal vows will say. Ever.

    If I remember correctly, you don't have to even say vows. You just have to sign a piece of paper in front of someone legally allowed to preside over a marriage who then also signs. And in some states, you have to have a witness or two. But you don't have to have any kind of ceremony.
  • MandaLeigh123
    MandaLeigh123 Posts: 351 Member
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    ^yep!
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
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    I find it interesting that those who promote "the lifestyle" make sure their kids and family know nothing about it.

    Why not? If you are so secure in your lifestyle, what's there to hide from those who are closest to you. Live out loud.

    It's easy to come on a forum, hide behind anonymity and talk about hooking up with other couples.

    This is a pretty weak argument does your family know all about your sex life?

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