How to tell her she's gaining weight...

Maybe, just maybe, she is gaining weight because she is happy with you and eating with you! Maybe, just maybe, you should not remind her that she is gaining weight, i'm positive she knows that when she looks in the mirror every day. That is what happens with people are happy with eachother!

I like how everyone keeps saying "she knows, she knows"....Of course she knows, but the point is she isn't doing anything about it. So it's his job as her significant other to motivate her into getting in shape. That being said, there is definitely a right and wrong approach to this. I certainly agree that it can be a very touchy subject, but I don't agree that it shouldn't be brought up.

As far as the right approach, only you will know how to approach her. You have known her for years, and are better voiced at how to tell her certain things. Figure out the best possible approach and go from there.

I think this is an excellent point. Lots of women know, but they have other things going on and they might not care at the moment to do anything about it. I gained 60 lbs during my 6 years at college. There is no way everyone around me didn't notice or that I didn't notice. I noticed every 10 lbs. Sure it bugged me, but not enough to do anything about it. And with each gain I just got used to it, it was normal, what did I care.

There are lots of ways to tell someone they are putting on weight, specially if it is unhealthy. My husband (boyfriend at the time) started to make little hints that I didn't even really recognize about halfway through my weight gain like, "I feel like we don't get out and do stuff as much as we used to". (Play frisbee, disc golf, walk, etc.) I knew that as well, and again I didn't really care enough to do anything about it. Every time I mentioned my weight, he'd chime in that he noticed a little extra weight in some areas, but just a little, everything else looked nice. XD Which was such an understatement. (Granted he knew I was okay with these kind of comments before saying them.)

Finally I ended up finding the motivation for myself. And now he is really supportive. Telling someone doesn't always equal motivating them. I think the lack of motivation is what causes most of the bad reactions since they know they aren't going to do anything about it and that just reinforces to them how there is a problem and it wont' get better.

Question

How do yu tell her she's gaining weight ?

Answer's
Over the phone
From afar
From a moving vechile
In the form of a card
As you are leaving forever

My husband told me he was worried about my health and lack of exercise - he's always been very fit. But he never said fat, or mentioned weight at all. Just that he wanted us to be together a long time living long healthy lives.

He never stopped telling me I was beautiful and our sex didn't suffer but I can tell he's more attracted to me now.......

Question

How do yu tell her she's gaining weight ?

Answer's
Over the phone
From afar
From a moving vechile
In the form of a card
As you are leaving forever

I find it sad how scared you are to be honest with you SO.

Ah, don;t be sad, don;t cry big guy. You want a hug?

but I can tell he's more attracted to me now.......

Weird.

Any reason why that's weird? I know from his general behaviour/staring/compliments that he is more attracted to me now. I am smaller now than I was when we first met with 1lb to go.

I'm pleased he tried to tell me tactfully and did not make me feel ugly and giant at the time though.

but I can tell he's more attracted to me now.......

Weird.

Any reason why that's weird? I know from his general behaviour/staring/compliments that he is more attracted to me now. I am smaller now than I was when we first met with 1lb to go.

It's not actually weird, it was more of a sarcastic weird. Like, hmm you lost weight, got healthy and now your husband finds you even more attractive...ya don't say??

You don't say a word. I never said a word when my Hubby gained a weight while he was doing an office job. He eventually lost the weight. He never said a word when I gained weight over a year of sickness. I am almost done losing the weight. Just be supportive. It is an entirely touchy subject.

So she knows she's getting fat but she's not doing anything about it? Shame on her! Put her in the stocks and throw rotten eggs at her! Seriously - what's with the fat naziism here? Did I black out and miss the bit where it became obligatory to "do something about it" if you gained weight?

This could be because:

- She is exhausted after work / looking after the kids / whatever it is that she does
- She has a medical issue
- She doesn't think it's the big deal that you think it is (either because she was too skinny to start with, or because she can live with being a few lbs overweight)
- She DOES think it's a big deal, but feels overwhelmed by the seemingly unsurmountable task of losing the weight and doesn't know where to start
- She doesn't like the thought of being the fat one in a gym surrounded by toned, hard bodies
- She doesn't want losers shouting at her from passing cars as she goes running (have read many of those posts here)

Or she could just be lazy (which wasn't a crime the last time I checked).

Give her a break. If you MUST say something, check your motivation ("her health"? really?) and pick your words with extreme care. It is possible to be honest without being hurtful or rude.

My husband told me he was worried about my health and lack of exercise - he's always been very fit. But he never said fat, or mentioned weight at all. Just that he wanted us to be together a long time living long healthy lives.

He never stopped telling me I was beautiful and our sex didn't suffer but I can tell he's more attracted to me now.......

^^^^THIS is a great way to communicate with your SO.

I fail to understand how being HONEST is insulting??????

No wonder the divorce rate is so high. Spouses (mostly husbands) can't even be honest with their mate because they are going to feel insulted and withold sex.

Jesus, no wonder there is such a high incidence of cheating going on.

So, you're saying that it's perfectly justifiable to cheat after your spouse turns you down because you were an insensitive jerk and basically called them a fatass? :noway: :explode:

Those of you who think he's out of line for wanting to even broach the topic with his SO really need to evaluate your own relationships a little more closely.

Why? Maybe they are ok in their relationships. And physical attraction and fidelity is never guaranteed. *If* you have enough foundation built with the right person, fading physical attraction will not automatically translate to infidelity. (Also, people have different priorities. I'm a lot more concerned about the mortgage and my job and my own body than whether or not my hubby has gained a few. I did get worried the one time I noticed he seemed to be gaining in an unhealthy way--but for his health.)

No one will look the same as the people their partners married over time. I'm curious about how the people who expect (and are expected) to maintain a certain standard of attractiveness will handle this in their relationships. (I'm not judging or implying they will break up when one is less hot--I'm really curious.) (People can still have sexual attraction when their physiques change.)

Oh, point out the her top lip is getting a touch hairy as well, if you want to be subtle and come right out straight and say it, just start calling her Tom Selleck, and provided she isn't a PI she should get the hint.

BWAHAHA! LOVE this comment!

Maybe have her pose for a picture with you? Pictures do not lie. Problem solved.

I always lol when women talk about witholding sex. Good luck with that.

And this is why I'm not in a relationship...and don't need one.

I wonder if its acceptable for a man to withhold cuddles and kisses if he doesn't like what happens in a relationship?