Why do people not allow the "under 1200" friend requests
Replies
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To add to my first post - i don't have that disclaimer on my profile. I will still add people that eat under that occasionally as long as they are cool
it just breaks my heart to see the status with the self hate and destruction :C 0 -
Well this totally sucks for people like me that have not known better their whole life and have always eaten as they like and are now trying to change their lifestyle! I wish I would have had some more knowledgable MFP friends over the last couple months. I'm pretty overweight and have lost 40 lvs., but ended up plateauing about 3 weeks ago. I had no idea what I was doing to my body. I was eating the amount of calories MFP told me to eat, but wasn't eating my aloroes back, so with my exercise I was only netting under 1000 each day. I wasn't hungry. I was and still am eating mostly good foods (lots of protein, whole grains, and lots of veggies!) I have been extremely frustrated as to why I stopped losing when I was losing so consistently. As per one of my MFP friends request (after her knowing that I wasn't as motivating and happy as I was before just because I wasn't posting regularly with my uplifting posts), I changes my settings on MFP to lose 1.5 a week instead of 2 and that upped my allotted calorie intake. I had gotten so used to eating only 1200/day, it's taking some getting used to. Today is only my second day at 1500 calories/day.
So, hopefully, I get past this very soon and start seeing results again, but for all you knowledgable people that don't allow under 1200 calorie MFPers on your friends list, it's people like me that you could have helped out with your knowledge.
To you personally....congratulations on your loss. Forget all this fighting on here. I just wanted to say it. You will find a way that works for you. Plateaus don't last forever and you have already done so well. Big pat on the back for you. Do what works, as long as you give yourself nutrients and take care of yourself you will fine. 40 lbs is a giant loss!!!!!0 -
I never have seen anyone trying to "recruit" though. Seems like most i have met with an ED say that they would never wish it on anyone0
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I'm short too (5'0"), and quite light (122lb). I try not to net under 1,200 and I still lose, even with days netting at 1,600+. Although, I am losing pretty slowly. I'm firmly trying not to get into that mentality of having to net under 1,200 to lose because of my height. I want this to be a lifestyle change, and I don't want to be eating only 1,200 calories a day for the rest of my life...
I won't refuse friend requests, but I'm a little bit put off by the number of people on my friends list with ED tendencies ("OMG I'm such a failure coz I ate a square of chocolate, even though I've still only eaten a grand total of 800 calories today").0 -
I feel like more people on here are encouraging others to over eat and not under eat.
I feel that too. I am trying very hard to eat an amount which my body is comfortable with, and which gives me the optimum health - and often it is around 1200 or less, but it definitely varies from day to day. At the moment it's more, because it's my time of the month, and that makes me hungrier, and makes me need more iron, so I am allowing for that. But If I ate 2000 calories every day, I'd feel overwhelmed and stuffed and find it difficult to focus. Not that it doesn't work for others, but we all have very different bodies, and there really isn't a 'one size fits all' when it comes to eating.0 -
For those that are short and light but gain weight on 1200 calories--have your doctor run some blood work. I am 5'0 and somewhere between 108-112 lbs right now, and I easily lose on 1200. When I exercise, I eat between 1200-1600. MFP claims my maintenance is 1400. I haven't tested it out, but I am suspecting it will be a bit higher than that. I am not a fitness goddess or on my feet all day, either.0
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It's like giving a drink to a drunk. I don't condone it and I can't say "good job" when their day is done. When you try to coach them in the right direction I've encountered negative responses because they know what they're doing and they don't want your opinion. There's no point in adding them.0
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If the person were 4' 6" and weighed 90 lbs (a healthy weight for that height), then 1200 calories/day would certainly be acceptable.
Or 4' 0" and 70lbs (again, a healthy weight), then a maintenance calorie intake of 1200 would be acceptable, therefore a deficit below 1200 would be good for weight loss.0 -
I get how you feel about not allowing friend requests based upon a fairly arbitrary number. Calorie requirements between individuals can vary so drastically, that 1200 calories can mean different things to different people.
For example, if a large athletic male cut his calories to 1100, it's going to be much more of a drop from the resting metabolic rate than a small sedentary female deciding to eat 1100 per day.
I understand some people not wanting their feeds flooded with negative attention-seeking activity. You don't want to feel bad hitting your goal of 1400 calories (or whichever number you like) only to see someone complaining about feeling fat after eating 800. It could make your little victories feel insignificant, which can potentially make you lose motivation. It is perfectly reasonable to not want this. But I think it would be best to give someone a chance, hear their stories. If they don't want to be supportive, if they are a negative influence, then feel free to unfriend them :P0 -
I don't have a disclaimer on my profile, but if I noticed someone doing it, I would remove them (not talking about once in a while, but talking about a regular habit) I don't need someone on my FL that is being that unhealthy. And no, I wouldn't keep someone who was constantly eating 3000 calories in junk food either (as someone mentioned in another comment) I have my own problems with eating and if anyone wants to remove me for that, that's fine, my feelings won't be hurt, but I don't need to deal with people crying over their "binge day" of 400 calories. Not to mention the serious emotional and physical damage they are doing to themselves. It's not that they don't need or deserve support, but we don't need the same type of support I need and I'm not equipped to deal with the support they need. Hence why I have no desire for that.
I would however have and keep a friend who was on a <1200 calories diet under doctor supervision.0 -
i have my goal at 800 cals, but i don't count calories, i count carbs.
it's just that at 800 cals, it puts my carbs exactly at 20 grams, and that's perfect for me.0 -
It's like giving a drink to a drunk. I don't condone it and I can't say "good job" when their day is done. When you try to coach them in the right direction I've encountered negative responses because they know what they're doing and they don't want your opinion. There's no point in adding them.
Ah, yes, I guess if you friend people so that you can say 'good job' on their food diaries, or coach them into doing what you think is right, then it will be difficult to add people whose eating habits are different from your own. That didn't occur to me because I don't add people for those reasons.0 -
I don't like accepting people who continuously eat a low amount of calories because I personally have struggled with an unhealthy relationship with food so I really don't need to be around that anymore. I want my list of people to be people who are a proper example of eating, or is at least working towards that. I have deleted people that think that it is ok to only eat 600 calories a day, every single day. It is the best for ME to not be around that mindset. That being said, if someone is eating 4000 calories a day and isn't bulking, I would delete them too because I'd think they were here as a joke lol.0
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i have my goal at 800 cals, but i don't count calories, i count carbs.
it's just that at 800 cals, it puts my carbs exactly at 20 grams, and that's perfect for me.
I had to have someone explain to me what you are doing and how it works. I get it now. At first I was all....huh. Now I see the steps involved and all. It's not bad like I thought. Oh look at me, I decided to look into something before being judgmental. lol.0 -
I'm 4'11'' and my BMR is about 1260.. But I always eat more than that. Or at least try to. I also have hypothyroidism. Personally, if I eat around my BMR, I simply don't lose weight.
I find people who can eat/exercise properly far more inspiration (as it shows you don't have to starve yourself!). Do you really want to live the rest of your life not being able to eat. And yes, as few people have noted, I'm sure there are exceptions.
I would add someone who ate below 1200.. Unless you're trying to push for an unhealthy lifestyle either way, I'll be friends with anyone.
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I just felt the need to reply to this because there seems to be so much negativity about low calorie diets on here. I think what many people seem to forget is that different people need different amounts of food to achieve the same amount of weight loss. I am a small framed girl with a height of 5'1 and I sometimes get sick of extremely tall people telling me that I will lose weight on, say, 1400 calories. For me personally, to lose weight, I need to eat a maximum of 1200 calories, and even that's pushing it most of the time. I eat healthy clean foods most of the time and if I don't exercise I can actually GAIN weight on 1200 calories. I do not have an eating disorder and never have, but I now have my diary hidden from my friends because I know many of them would comment on what is a perfectly healthy amount of food for me personally.
Yes!! This is why I get so fed up with the "eat more to weigh less" people who stalk these forums. It's great if the obese people on here can lose weight eating 1500-2000 calories, but that's just not gonna fly when you're short and not overly large. I personally could never lose weight eating anything over 1000 because I'm 5'3 and have always been in the healthy weight range, so it's harder for me to lose weight than some people.
Don't be so sure, I'm 5'2 120lbs and eat 1750 a day to lose and 2200 for maintenance.0 -
I just felt the need to reply to this because there seems to be so much negativity about low calorie diets on here. I think what many people seem to forget is that different people need different amounts of food to achieve the same amount of weight loss. I am a small framed girl with a height of 5'1 and I sometimes get sick of extremely tall people telling me that I will lose weight on, say, 1400 calories. For me personally, to lose weight, I need to eat a maximum of 1200 calories, and even that's pushing it most of the time. I eat healthy clean foods most of the time and if I don't exercise I can actually GAIN weight on 1200 calories. I do not have an eating disorder and never have, but I now have my diary hidden from my friends because I know many of them would comment on what is a perfectly healthy amount of food for me personally.
Yes!! This is why I get so fed up with the "eat more to weigh less" people who stalk these forums. It's great if the obese people on here can lose weight eating 1500-2000 calories, but that's just not gonna fly when you're short and not overly large. I personally could never lose weight eating anything over 1000 because I'm 5'3 and have always been in the healthy weight range, so it's harder for me to lose weight than some people.
Don't be so sure, I'm 5'2 120lbs and eat 1750 a day to lose and 2200 for maintenance.
YES!! As I said.. I'm 4'11'' and need to eat 1400-1600 calories. Anything less and I plateau.. or GAIN!!0 -
Because I do not condone that behavior, and those people already know it isn't healthy but choose to eat too little anyways, and I just don't have a place for those people. For those saying they need to eat less than 1200, I call BS. I am barely 5'2 and I lost weight easily eating 1400+ calories a day. Unless you're a midget... BS!
ETA:: Yes I realize there are FEW exceptions, but they are few.... everyone thinks they are an exception and they simply are not.0 -
Because I do not condone that behavior, and those people already know it isn't healthy but choose to eat too little anyways, and I just don't have a place for those people. For those saying they need to eat less than 1200, I call BS. I am barely 5'2 and I lost weight easily eating 1400+ calories a day. Unless you're a midget... BS!
Haha! Yes.. unless they've so destroyed their metabolism by eating under 1,200 calories. Then they unfortunately have lots of work to do to build muscles back up.0 -
As a personal trainer who has done my fair share of assessments, I can't tell you how many women and young girls I've sat down with who have admitted to being on a deficit for most of their lives. Of course, it is no surprise that they find it difficult to eat what they normally should to maintain if their resting metabolism has been depressed for so long due to chronic under-eating.0
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i have my goal at 800 cals, but i don't count calories, i count carbs.
it's just that at 800 cals, it puts my carbs exactly at 20 grams, and that's perfect for me.
I had to have someone explain to me what you are doing and how it works. I get it now. At first I was all....huh. Now I see the steps involved and all. It's not bad like I thought. Oh look at me, I decided to look into something before being judgmental. lol.
Hey now...knock that off.
That kind of diligence has *no* place on MFP. Please resume making knee-jerk judgmental responses to things you don't initially understand.
(And here's a smiley so everyone will know this is sarcasm stuff: ) 0 -
It seems one thing this website does not lack is judgmental people. And misinformation. You put the two together and end up with a lot of haters who think they know what is best for everyone. The way some of these people answer posts you would expect them to have a doctorite in nutritional medicine or something, not just access to google.0
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i have my goal at 800 cals, but i don't count calories, i count carbs.
it's just that at 800 cals, it puts my carbs exactly at 20 grams, and that's perfect for me.
I had to have someone explain to me what you are doing and how it works. I get it now. At first I was all....huh. Now I see the steps involved and all. It's not bad like I thought. Oh look at me, I decided to look into something before being judgmental. lol.
Hey now...knock that off.
That kind of diligence has *no* place on MFP. Please resume making knee-jerk judgmental responses to things you don't initially understand.
(And here's a smiley so everyone will know this is sarcasm stuff: )
I'm old fashioned and believe you can't be for or against anything you don't understand.0 -
The "recruiters" don't actually say "hey I wanna recruit you to anorexia! come join the party"
It's more subtle.
They just talk about how little they need to eat, and that can make some people feel they are eating too much.
They dis the "eat more to weigh less" people outright - even though those people are basically promoting exercise. This is an attempt to recruit to the "eat less no matter what" philosophy
I am not comfortable around people who have shakes instead of food, who eat fast food from large chains, or who eat processed sauces and pre-made foods from supermarkets.
I don't have the rider about 1200 but I have one friend who eats this way. She has underestimated the cals in her food so I didn't want to tell her to eat more. Sort of not sure about that one.
I am here for encouragement and support as well as counting cals but we all can only really have so many active friends before it becomes a job, not an activity.
So I will friend those in a range, and prefer to have Australians as we understand the food choices available to us.
The rider on my page is to stop the "housework is not exercise" people from even trying to friend me.
If you are under 5 foot and want friends who understand I am sure there are lots of people onsite who will be better for you than reading how I just ate 1800 today and feel great.0 -
I'm only friends with those that do the same thing I do. The values MFP recommends not a set value they want. I lost weight doing what MFP told me.0
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I don't think less than 1200 is a healthy way to lose weight but I don't really pay that close attention to how many calories they are eating. I pay more attention to how much a person needs to lose. I am a big girl and need to lose 100+. I don't usually send friend requests to someone who just needs to lose 25 pounds or less. #1 - That weight will come off relatively fast (compared to 100+ pounds) and I want long term friends. #2 - If you weigh 150 and want to get down to 125 or less, I really can't relate cause if I was 150 I would be exstatic!! I relate to those who are very overweight and will be here for a while. I do wish you all well though and good luck with your journey - no matter how long or big it is going to be.0
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I don't currently subscribe to actively avoiding those who eat under 1200 calories, but I do avoid people who aren't actively seeking out information and/or complain like little beeches about really lame stuff. Just my opinion here, perhaps not the most eloquently put.
At any rate, I do what I can to share my experience with those who show some interest and I hope for the same, but do not expect it. If I friend someone and they get on my nerves for *any* reason, whether its complaining about how hungry they are and only eating 1200 calories, saying a bunch of things I can't relate too, promoting patriarchy, etc etc, I reserve the right to delete them without the need to defend myself. It's the internet and I am digging the anonymity.0 -
I have a couple IF people on my list...they don't eat 600 cals the ones I have eat closer to 2000? Are you sure your talking about IF and not some other kind?Out of curiosity, do people who won't friend 'under 1200' people also include people who do intermittent fasting in this category? For instance, people who deliberately have a couple of days a week where they eat 600 calories, but eat as many calories as they like the rest of the week.0 -
People with weight loss surgeries are often advised to eat as little as 800 calories a day look it up, and if someone don't want to be my friend because I don't have the stomach they have anymore well... That's there own personal issue, I could care a less. I don't want judgmental arrogant friends anyways 0
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"love4fitnesslove4food" is also 23 years old. Of course she can eat 1600 calories a day. When I was 23, I could eat that much, too. As you get older, your metabolism becomes less efficient. If I ate 1600 calories a day, I would become overweight in no time. Everyone is different. Everyone's caloric needs are different. We are not built the same, nor are we the same at age 55 as we were at 23. Stop judging people based on unsimilar cases. I can't believe this thread even exists.0
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