Why are people on these forums so mean?

aubreykkkk
aubreykkkk Posts: 147 Member
in Motivation and Support
This is a fitness site. Aimed at losing weight and becoming healthier. Everyone is different. Why judge people so harshly? It seems that most people are in their own bubbles. If something is said that is outside someone's bubble. BAM! Hate comments. I don't understand. We are here to support each other! Has anyone noticed this? Am I the only one that feels really sad when someone is completely disrespected in the forums, even if I don't agree with what they are saying? Please try to be more understanding.
All this talk about eating under BMR, eating back exercise calories, eating less than 1200. It's fine to argue over it, but most people jump to drastic conclusions and peoples' feelings are really hurt. Everyone is different, so everyone has their own weight loss journey. It doesn't make them a stupid or bad person. And, stop hating on people with EDs. They don't have one on purpose! Whether that have Anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder, or ED-NOS, it's not your place to tell them things that they already tell themselves everyday and that they already hear from other people!
Sorry for the rant. I'm not sure if many people will read this. Please tell me I'm not alone in thinking that some people should have more respect towards others. Thanks!
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Replies

  • iris8pie
    iris8pie Posts: 224 Member
    people get cranky when theyre hungry
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    It's the internet. If you can't take someone being a jerk to you and not take it personally in your real life, it's best to avoid open public forums and stick to your real-life friends, your MFP contacts, or groups. Just comes with the territory.
  • CatLambee
    CatLambee Posts: 26
    I don't really think people on these forums are mean at all, especially compared to most other internet forums.

    I've been lurking for a while and I mostly see nothing but support, especially in the Success Stories section.

    If you can't handle the occasional meanie, it's best to stay off of online communities altogether.

    That being said, don't pay any mind to some of the total fitness fanatics running around, telling you their way is the BEST AND ONLY way to do things. Do what works for you.

    Do whatever gives you the best body and mind you can have. :)
  • ambitious01
    ambitious01 Posts: 209 Member
    :laugh:
    people get cranky when theyre hungry


    That might be it
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,282 Member
    I am not being mean..honest. But at least once...sometimes more...times a day, someone starts a thread with the same complaint. Its part of the wonderful world of the internet. All you can do is ignore the negative and spread the positive. :)
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    People don't like when other people are honest.
  • Family_Man
    Family_Man Posts: 53
    Because "lose" and "loose" can drive you crazy...:laugh:
  • sunshine_gem
    sunshine_gem Posts: 390 Member
    I am not being mean..honest. But at least once...sometimes more...times a day, someone starts a thread with the same complaint. Its part of the wonderful world of the internet. All you can do is ignore the negative and spread the positive. :)

    Yeah, quite often the same threads do come up. But it doesn't mean you have to read it or comment at all. People may not know the question's already been asked or know how to search for a topic. I've been on here a couple of months now and I didn't know you could do that.

    OP I get what you're saying. Everyone is so sure their way is the best and only way and sometimes just go too far.
  • windycitycupcake
    windycitycupcake Posts: 516 Member
    people get cranky when theyre hungry

    haha you said it.

    i've only been on this site a week but i see lots of folks treating it like facebook or twitter or something, posting mean comments making fun of others and frankly, posting some weird stuff like gangsta song lyrics and really intimate sexual innuendos

    i mean. i'm not trying to judge but that's why facebook is facebook and this is a fitness forum. it's a place to count calories and discuss wellness and weight loss and connect to others who are sharing the same struggle.

    i've seen people post with an attitude when they think a question is "stupid". we are all here to learn and as far as i'm concerned if it feels like bullying it does not belong here at all.
  • xLexa
    xLexa Posts: 482 Member
    I must admit to having a giggle here, a few weeks ago when I joined MFP ok a few months now how time flies.... I used to think the same thing, about people being mean when it was really unnecessary... but when you start to see the same thread over and over and over and over and OVER again.... you can kinda understand why people get cranky.... I am not mean enough to "verbalize" my crankiness... however I can understand why it irks people who have been around for a while :P
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    'cause if we support unhealthy behavior, it encourages other people to try unhealthy behavior.
  • jus_in_bello
    jus_in_bello Posts: 326 Member
    I don't think people are mean to people who have eating disorders, as someone with an eating disorder in my past I have never felt like I've been treated poorly here. I have seen people who encourage disordered eating shot down harshly, as they should be.

    I don't think people here are mean, I've seen actual meanness on the internet, people here are blunt and they don't sugar coat them, but I don't think they're being mean.

    People joke that people get mean when they're hungry, I think it goes the other way, too; people get hyper sensitive when they're hungry.
  • Tann19
    Tann19 Posts: 94 Member
    hate to break it to you but not everyone is here to support other people, everyone has there own reasons for being here and just like in the real world people are going to be mean. As well some people can take the truth, not because someone says something you don't agree with doesn't make it wrong.
    I see something I don't like I just ignore it. simple

    :flowerforyou:
  • MuddyEquestrian
    MuddyEquestrian Posts: 366 Member
    I couldnt agree more MoreBean13!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • Vermilliana
    Vermilliana Posts: 42 Member
    Thing is, when it comes to health and fitness stuff, you do get a fair share of...arrogant people. Y'know, the ones who think they are the best thing since sliced bread because they are in wicked shape. These are usually people that have an easier time losing weight or gaining muscle and don't understand the emotional aspect that affects many of us in this arena. I've switched gyms because of people like that, and I've been removed from gyms (for the day) for sticking up for people just starting out on their weight loss journeys who were being insulted and called down by these High and Mighty types. They can be very imposing face-to-face...but here? thats words. Only Words. If they are mean words, disregard them and move on. Don't allow their comments to affect you because they are nothing but pale words on a screen, and nothing you can say or do will change some peoples attitudes. I've been 195 lbs at 5 feet tall, I understand that such a thing is easier said than done because its easy to allow words to cut when you feel weak, I've been there. Thing is? No matter What shape you are inm You Are Stronger Than That....but only if you believe you are. You can't change them, you can only change how You react to them. Be strong!
  • char_char_piper
    char_char_piper Posts: 98
    people get cranky when theyre hungry

    Indeed! :ohwell:
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    This is a fitness site. Aimed at losing weight and becoming healthier. Everyone is different. Why judge people so harshly? It seems that most people are in their own bubbles. If something is said that is outside someone's bubble. BAM! Hate comments. I don't understand. We are here to support each other! Has anyone noticed this? Am I the only one that feels really sad when someone is completely disrespected in the forums, even if I don't agree with what they are saying? Please try to be more understanding.
    All this talk about eating under BMR, eating back exercise calories, eating less than 1200. It's fine to argue over it, but most people jump to drastic conclusions and peoples' feelings are really hurt. Everyone is different, so everyone has their own weight loss journey. It doesn't make them a stupid or bad person. And, stop hating on people with EDs. They don't have one on purpose! Whether that have Anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder, or ED-NOS, it's not your place to tell them things that they already tell themselves everyday and that they already hear from other people!
    Sorry for the rant. I'm not sure if many people will read this. Please tell me I'm not alone in thinking that some people should have more respect towards others. Thanks!

    That's a broad generalization. People bring to the table what they know and what their experience has been. It's up to you to be selective in what you read, who you befriend and what you apply to your weight loss. People are just people.
  • JenniferNoll
    JenniferNoll Posts: 367 Member
    Because "lose" and "loose" can drive you crazy...:laugh:

    As a former English teacher, if I went berserk every time I saw a grammatical error on this forum, I would never stop.
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
    Because most people think their way is the only way. No one knows that better than a low carber. I get more *kitten* for that than I ever imagined possible, though it clearly works for me. *looks pointedly at ticker and picture*
  • Tann19
    Tann19 Posts: 94 Member
    Thing is, when it comes to health and fitness stuff, you do get a fair share of...arrogant people. Y'know, the ones who think they are the best thing since sliced bread because they are in wicked shape. These are usually people that have an easier time losing weight or gaining muscle and don't understand the emotional aspect that affects many of us in this arena. I've switched gyms because of people like that, and I've been removed from gyms (for the day) for sticking up for people just starting out on their weight loss journeys who were being insulted and called down by these High and Mighty types. They can be very imposing face-to-face...but here? thats words. Only Words. If they are mean words, disregard them and move on. Don't allow their comments to affect you because they are nothing but pale words on a screen, and nothing you can say or do will change some peoples attitudes. I've been 195 lbs at 5 feet tall, I understand that such a thing is easier said than done because its easy to allow words to cut when you feel weak, I've been there. Thing is? No matter What shape you are inm You Are Stronger Than That....but only if you believe you are. You can't change them, you can only change how You react to them. Be strong!

    I'm in horrible shape and I think I'm the best thing since slice bread! whole wheat!
    :drinker:
  • CrystalDreams
    CrystalDreams Posts: 418 Member
    Its not an opinion on the internet unless someone somewhere gets butthurt.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    Why are people mean in life? Why do people pay attention to the negativity? Why do people allow it to bother them? Why do people need to constantly post rants in the forums about how people are mean? Can someone post about how some people are too soft on the forums?

    People aren't going to change who they are just because they're on the interwebs. If anything, It amplifies their personality or allows them to assert themselves like they cannot in "real life". Either ignore it or develop thicker skin.
  • jfan175
    jfan175 Posts: 812 Member
    Because "lose" and "loose" can drive you crazy...:laugh:

    But that's no reason to loose your cool.
  • misao1994
    misao1994 Posts: 78
    Sometimes I feel like on this website if people aren't throwing out rainbows and sunshine and glitter and puppies and kittens and are positive 100% of the time on forums they're attacked! It's really annoying and really degrading. No one is a happy positive person 100% of the time but sometimes I feel like on the forums you have to pretend you are.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    What's that?..... People being mean on the interwebs? ......


    85022597_n1.jpg
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,282 Member
    I am not being mean..honest. But at least once...sometimes more...times a day, someone starts a thread with the same complaint. Its part of the wonderful world of the internet. All you can do is ignore the negative and spread the positive. :)

    Yeah, quite often the same threads do come up. But it doesn't mean you have to read it or comment at all. People may not know the question's already been asked or know how to search for a topic. I've been on here a couple of months now and I didn't know you could do that.

    Thats not quite what I meant....that's why I said I wasn't trying to be mean. Just pointing out that she is FAR from the only person who has that opinion of the forums.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    Someone makes one of these threads every single day, and I still have no idea why there's this perception that everyone is so mean. This is easily the most positive, helpful, sunshine and rainbows forum I have ever been on, by far. If I had to estimate, I'd say that across the board, about 60% of responses are helpful and supportive, 5% are actually mean/trolling/inappropriate, and the other 35% is people complaining about how mean everyone is.

    The chit-chat section is full of trolling and joking and topics people often find offensive, but the on-topic forums are nearly devoid of actual over-the-top nastiness. The vast majority of complaints of meanness I see occur when someone asks a question and then gets upset when the answers aren't what they wanted to hear. People aren't bashing those with EDs, but no one is going to put up with someone who clearly understands that their behavior is unhealthy and is looking for justification. I've seen extremely compassionate responses to people who seem unaware that their behavior is concerning, but it's not okay to feed into someone's problem and help them get worse.

    People here actually want to help. Few people are out to make you feel bad; if they do, there are more than enough others willing to pounce on them and defend you. If you're seeing overwhelming meanness, the problem is likely on your end.
  • BigDnSW
    BigDnSW Posts: 641 Member
    It's no diff than FB or Twitter or texting or email or snail mail. People often act out or get real brave hiding behind a keyboard. They will post or write things they never would say face to face. I deal with it weekly as a professional counselor. People have lost dear friends, marriages, etc. over "hiding". As several have said, choose your friends carefully and wisely first and foremost outside of cyberville in the human world and even more so in cyberville. That is a gross generalization, but very true statistically and disturbingly increasing in my profession. Be yourself and remember this highly technical profundity from the couselor's chair..."Mean people suck". Don't take it serious. I have great online friends and iggy the mean or caustic, etc. ones. Hope this helps and friend me if you want a safe, kind, yet honest friend. :wink:
  • beansprouts
    beansprouts Posts: 410 Member
    Some people are here to reach a personal goal (ie health...weight...education etc.)....while other people are here to try and make the first group as miserable as they are. Reach your goals and ignore the background static.
This discussion has been closed.

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