Why are people on these forums so mean?

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  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    It's a fascinating social phenomena that some egghead probably has a name for. It stems from the anonymity and relative safety of being in ones own home behind a computer monitor. Allows people to say things they normally wouldn't.

    That's not true, and if I were in the same room as you right now, I'd take my 150 lbs and be right in your face to tell you how wrong you are!
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Disagreement is good and hopefully inspires some folks here to go out and seek information on their own and try new things to see if it works for them.

    I totally agree with you. I'm thinking some of the early transcendentalists like Emerson would have enjoyed your ideas. This made me think of his essay Self Reliance. Sorry - I'm already starting to think about what I'm going to teach soon but you're comment got me thinking about that.
  • WestCoastPhoenix
    WestCoastPhoenix Posts: 802 Member
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  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    Disagreement is good

    I totally agree with you.

    Make your mind up!
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    It's a fascinating social phenomena that some egghead probably has a name for. It stems from the anonymity and relative safety of being in ones own home behind a computer monitor. Allows people to say things they normally wouldn't.

    That's not true, and if I were in the same room as you right now, I'd take my 150 lbs and be right in your face to tell you how wrong you are!
    It's always the scrawny ones. Always.
  • skonly
    skonly Posts: 371
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    Why?

    1. No one on facebook will talk to them.

    2. No one in real life will talk to them.

    3. They are emotionally needy.

    4. They feel superior when putting others down.

    5. They are delusional.

    6. They are starving and can't think.

    7. They are loaded up on fat and sugar and can't think.

    8. They are drunk.

    9. They thought the Dr. was out to get them and quit taking their medication.

    10. They took their parent's medication.

    11. Aliens are controlling them.

    12. Cats make them do it.

    There is an ignore button that comes in handy if you do not wish to deal with it. I probably can't even see most responses on here because I've used so much. Ignore the mean and hateful and don't let others get you down.
  • SiamCam
    SiamCam Posts: 1
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    i have to agree with the comment, "people are cranky when they are hungry" so true! although that is not an excuse to be mean but we are only human. i would like to add that people are also more sensitive when they are letting go of bad behaviors like unhealthy eating. it's a reminder to be kind =)
  • bluebird321
    bluebird321 Posts: 732 Member
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    The internet. Where many people feel free to be who and what they really are.
  • legs_n_bacon
    legs_n_bacon Posts: 478 Member
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    Some people are dilholes.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    .......and a lot of people just have thin skins, they perceive someone disagreeing with what they say as being mean.

    Pretty much this.

    I always find these posts strange. When I came MFP, I could not believe how tame/friendly it is compared to a lot of other forums. I joined MFP after spending sometime on a wedding forum. Man, they will eat you alive. MFP is sunshine and rainbows compared to that and a lot of other forums.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    The person you see here is also who I am in real life. It freaks some people out, but I enjoy it a lot.
  • wisters
    wisters Posts: 84 Member
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    people get cranky when theyre hungry

    LOL, now that is funny!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    It's a fascinating social phenomena that some egghead probably has a name for. It stems from the anonymity and relative safety of being in ones own home behind a computer monitor. Allows people to say things they normally wouldn't.

    That's not true, and if I were in the same room as you right now, I'd take my 150 lbs and be right in your face to tell you how wrong you are!
    It's always the scrawny ones. Always.

    This made me literally LOL.

    It's funny because it's true...
  • drea85an
    drea85an Posts: 130
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    People who have success, which are usually the ones who are nasty on here, like to prove how special they are for getting where they are. They forget how hard it is. Also, i notice it is the people who didn't come here to lose weight at all, and the pretend they are here to support. No, they are here to post photos of themselves and rag on the people who are trying to change. I have only been here a couple weeks and I notice it. I try to ignore it. Do my thing. Stick with the nice people. I am not here to play games. I suggest you do the same. They aren't worth it.

    Not so. 90% of the time I post something genuinely helpful and kind, it is 100% ignored. If I throw some attitude into my answer (still helpful), the person will usually fight with me, but as soon as I switch to REALLY trying to help, totally ignored. So a lot of people don't want the advice of the successful. And yes, I do remember how hard it is.

    I said usually, not all. I have many people who are fit and look great that offer amazing advice and I always appreciate it. I am just saying, the ones who are typically nasty, are the ones who have reached their goal or came here already fit. (not that all fit people are nasty)
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    People who have success, which are usually the ones who are nasty on here, like to prove how special they are for getting where they are. They forget how hard it is. Also, i notice it is the people who didn't come here to lose weight at all, and the pretend they are here to support. No, they are here to post photos of themselves and rag on the people who are trying to change. I have only been here a couple weeks and I notice it. I try to ignore it. Do my thing. Stick with the nice people. I am not here to play games. I suggest you do the same. They aren't worth it.

    Not so. 90% of the time I post something genuinely helpful and kind, it is 100% ignored. If I throw some attitude into my answer (still helpful), the person will usually fight with me, but as soon as I switch to REALLY trying to help, totally ignored. So a lot of people don't want the advice of the successful. And yes, I do remember how hard it is.

    I said usually, not all. I have many people who are fit and look great that offer amazing advice and I always appreciate it. I am just saying, the ones who are typically nasty, are the ones who have reached their goal or came here already fit. (not that all fit people are nasty)

    I think the people who have reached goal and are striving for better fitness started becoming more sarcastic because so many people choose to ignore or argue intelligent, scientifically sound advice. It's like.. why even ask for help if you're just looking for people to be yes men and blow smoke up your butt? It gets tiring.
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
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    I don't know about mean.... there are a couple people who I can count on to be an a$$ha!, but otherwise overall I think people are not MEAN.

    Judgmental, yes. I just told my husband the other day at the city pool that I was very thankful that the people at the pool didn't seem to be as judgmental as the MFP community, because I would never even step foot in the place.

    But even that seems to run in groups. I just stick with my homies mostly, and go along my merry (delusional?) way!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    Maybe I have a high threshold for meanness, but I see a lot more threads complaining about mean people than I see mean people.

    Sure, there's some *kitten*. There always will be. But as a very sensitive 13 year old who was bullied in school, I learned that I shouldn't care what mean people think. Because they're great big poopieheads. Any adult on this forum should be more mature and have better coping skills than an overly-emotional 13 year old.
  • Jenn09870
    Jenn09870 Posts: 66 Member
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    Because "lose" and "loose" can drive you crazy...:laugh:

    Agreed!!! That I was the only one to notice. Annoying.
    My favorite example:
    ceb75a5b.jpg
    You're a teenager. You have an eating disorder. You've supported people eating under 500 calories. You'll find it hard getting people on this site to agree with you or not speak up. I'm not trying to be mean, just being real. There may be better sites for your age and your particular needs. I don't condone people being mean just for the sake of being mean, but there are people on this site who will call you out for unhealthy behaviors.

    Had that crazy idea just from reading the post, btw believe the OP may have fled. If not, OP- I do hope you seek medical help and that you try to listen to the help people tried to give you on the other post. 500 calories per day is very unhealthy, and not something that should be encouraged in anyone.

    I have witnessed some blunt comments, but in my limited time here, have come to understand some of the reasons. Thought they were harsh when i first started, but I agree with most now.
    Most often the butthurt is the result of someone posting something unhealthy or dangerous (in some cases) and the poster is just looking for validation. They usually find another snowflake that agrees, then 50 people try to correct it but the damage is done.

    Whenever I invite anyone, I tell them about the ability to search the forum, that chances are their question may have come up before. I also point them towards good reads to hopefully get them started.
  • lilacsun
    lilacsun Posts: 204 Member
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    I think because you don't have to "filter" your thoughts because it's the net, not real life, and you won't face the same consequences. I'll bet in real life many of the "mean" ones here are actually lovely people..they just have knee jerk reactions to some questions/comments and type before they think.

    Plus...many people trying to lose weight and get fit have deep rooted self esteem issues (I struggle with this at times as well..although it's better as I get older). Putting others down often gives poeple a "rush" of imagined superiority, and when you get very little approval in your real life because you're fat and unfit, that feeling can be like crack cocaine rush to some.

    ^^^Wow this^^^
    I have the tendency to speak my mind on several occasions. I try not to be harsh about it but some people just drive me nuts and that is where I go with it. I do really try to understand where someone is coming from but sometimes the whining gets old and sets off something inside of me and I can become a real B****. If I have offended anyone it was my way of being honest on how I was feeling at the moment.

    Plus the one guy is right.... I'M HUNGRY LOL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:



    Ummm hmmm this ... still thinking about the 125 calories Pumpkin Bake recipe I saw earlier. I am hungry also:-/
  • tsh0ck
    tsh0ck Posts: 1,970 Member
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    Maybe I have a high threshold for meanness, but I see a lot more threads complaining about mean people than I see mean people.

    Sure, there's some *kitten*. There always will be. But as a very sensitive 13 year old who was bullied in school, I learned that I shouldn't care what mean people think. Because they're great big poopieheads. Any adult on this forum should be more mature and have better coping skills than an overly-emotional 13 year old.

    it should be poopie heads. two words. learn to write.
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