I need a girl's advice regarding a man's problem.
Tilran
Posts: 627 Member
Ok here is the thing: I have a friend who I have known for about a year. For that time, I really never saw her in skimpy clothing but she looked very skinny and in shape...she also claimed she was a vegan and dident eat very much on top of that fact.
The other day I saw her in a bikini at the pool and I was shocked. She has a ton of loose skin around her stomach, arms and breasts. Obviously my first reaction was a TON of weight loss really quickly...and since I've only known her for 1 year..I know she has at least kept this weight off for that period of time. That being said, I dont know if its weight loss or not, just my guess.
I know she does 0 exercise and that could cause this loose skin to happen if she lost a ton of weight. I also dont know if she lost it naturally or had surgery and I am afraid to confront her about it and make her angry or self conscious about it.
So my question for you ladies is...how would you want a guy to approach you regarding this topic if this were you? My objective is two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting defensive or depressed about it.
Also, I've never really seen "Skinny Fat" just heard about it...and what she has is how I pictured it...but it really does look bad...it looks like she just has too much skin for her body.
I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.
The other day I saw her in a bikini at the pool and I was shocked. She has a ton of loose skin around her stomach, arms and breasts. Obviously my first reaction was a TON of weight loss really quickly...and since I've only known her for 1 year..I know she has at least kept this weight off for that period of time. That being said, I dont know if its weight loss or not, just my guess.
I know she does 0 exercise and that could cause this loose skin to happen if she lost a ton of weight. I also dont know if she lost it naturally or had surgery and I am afraid to confront her about it and make her angry or self conscious about it.
So my question for you ladies is...how would you want a guy to approach you regarding this topic if this were you? My objective is two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting defensive or depressed about it.
Also, I've never really seen "Skinny Fat" just heard about it...and what she has is how I pictured it...but it really does look bad...it looks like she just has too much skin for her body.
I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.
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Replies
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Um... keep your mouth shut LOL! I am sure she already knows about the skin and you bringing it up will only make her MORE self conscious about it then she already is (I'm sure).
Unless you are planning to get into a relationship with her, then MAYBE the subject could come up, but otherwise... some things are better left unsaid!0 -
I wouldnt say anything. She probably already feels self conscious about it. I would wait till she talks about it. Why do you want to talk to her about it anyway? Just curious.0
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Why would you want to talk to her about it?
Mind your own business.0 -
Leave her alone, seriously! She has to look at herself everyday. She knows what she looks like.0
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Just hit it and move on...0
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Her being a woman she is more than aware of her body so I wouldn't talk to her about it.0
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Um... keep your mouth shut LOL! I am sure she already knows about the skin and you bringing it up will only make her MORE self conscious about it then she already is (I'm sure).
Unless you are planning to get into a relationship with her, then MAYBE the subject could come up, but otherwise... some things are better left unsaid!
SOooooooo true, believe me, we are more than aware of our wobbly bits - unless she brings it up, you are walking into some seriously dangerous territory! Keep schtm!0 -
If she wants to talk about it, she will bring it up. Otherwise, pretend you saw nothing. It's none of your business, as nice as your intentions might be.0
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Wow.
A) I'm sure she's aware. I bet she has a mirror
If you don't want a swift kick in the nuts, I'd keep your mouth shut. 0 -
Don't go there! If she has any kind of medical/weight loss history she wants to share with you, SHE'LL bring it up! I can only imagine how unhappy I would be if someone of the opposite sex, even a friend, commented on my loose tummy skin and stretch marked tummy from two pregnancies. Granted, I don't run around in bikinis, but still...0
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yep... just as everyone has said... don't talk to her about it unless she brings it up. you'll have to stifle your curiosity until she decides she's okay with talking about something that probably really bothers her.
unless you have a concern for her well being, i'd leave it alone.0 -
If you are asking her cause you are worried for her health - ask subtly
If you are asking cause you are merely curious - STFU!0 -
Don't say anything at all. She is aware of it and probably self concious about it as it is. No sly way to bring it up without her knowing you aren't talking about her. What is your reason for wanting to bring up to her so badly? I see nothing positive happening from having a conversation like that. Just leave it alone. Us girls know what we are talking about.0
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If you have no plans on shagging her, ask. If you want to keep her as a friend, explain your curiosity.0
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I would not even go there.
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I would say mind your own +insert swear word+ business.0
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I agree with the above...don't ask...it's not going to go down a good path....
just don't.0 -
keep quiet about it... simple!0
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If she want's to talk about it she will raise the subject with you.
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bahahahahaha. You must be kidding because you can't seriously think it would even be a remotely good idea to bring it up. Don't talk about it unless she brings it up. If you bring it up, you're 1)prying, 2)an idiot, and 3)ruining a friendship.0
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loose skin like that does NOT happen from no exercise. . . that happens frmo weight loss. . believe i know, it happened to me. . . i wouldnt tell her flat out. . . id say maybe
"hey you look great! what have u been doing". . . if shes hesitat that means shes doing something bad to get that skinny ( eating disorder, starvation diet, etc). . .
other then that i would NOT ask her flat out about it, whether ur dying to know or not. . . .she'll tell u when shes ready and because uve only known her for a year she might not feel comfortable telling u...
if u like the girl and want to have a relationship with her then maybe inquire about it but do it the right way. . if not, id leave that subject to her and her only.0 -
Don't talk about that with her. It's a really hard thing to talk about, so wait until her starts talking to you about that, if she wants to. You can talk to her about your weightloss/weight gain (I don't know what's your goal here
) experience, ask her some advices because she's veg... Maybe she will tell you something, but if she doesn't, don't push her, cause she will probably push you away. 0 -
ehh I wouldnt ask darling....unless you are extremely tactful....she might be offended even if you do ask as nicely as possible. Kinda walking on eggshells there.
Questions though:
1.Why does it matter?Are you interested in her?
2. How do you know for a fact she does 0 excersise?0 -
From a man's point of view....... dude, learn something about women, please!0
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There is no way to phrase this conversation without you sounding like a ****. This is not even your problem.0
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Yep don't touch this one with a ten foot pole man she will probably rip your head off. If she lost fast that is why maybe she has that skin condition where there is too much stretch to it. If you are truly worried she is skinny fat or her vegan ways are rotting her away why not ask her to work out with you BUT for heavens sake don't just say "hey you got tons a skin you used to be fat?"0
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I would say mind your own +insert swear word+ business.
yep.0 -
Just don't. She knows its there, and you're gonna kill her emotionally if you do. Yes, that's what happens when you lose a lot of weight, really fast, especially w/o exercise. You don't have to ask her.0
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Sounds like you are just nosey and just want to satisfy your own curiosity. Leave her alone. She doesn't owe you or anyone else an explination. If she is self-conscous about the skin you could really hurt her feelings. Even if she is not, it would be plain rude!0
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My objective is two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting defensive or depressed about it.
My opinion is the same as everyone above, don't say anything.
The only reasons that you provided were for your own curiosity, unless you're a doctor, curiosity isn't a good enough reason to make a comment like this.0
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