Fiancés family....

Don't get married so young. You'll straight up ruin your life. You're not the same person at 21 that you'll be at 23, 26, or 30.

Eh, depends on the person. I was 20 when we married, he was 23. We celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary on September 18th. :happy:

Did you read the post? She is not mature enough to get married.

Yes, I did read the OP's post. Did you read the post I was responding to? It wasn't the OP's.

Sorry, I thought the idea was to keep the comments relevant. But feel free to go off on your own tangent if that's what you prefer. It's not like we're trying to have a conversation here.

This is something that you and your fiancee need to work out long before you start planning a wedding. Crap like this destroys relationships and compromise and respect is going to be necessary on both sides.

2nded!

I'm young and engaged as well and I would be angry
if that was my situation. It's your wedding, and as much
as weddings are about family you aren't marrying them,
you are marrying their son. I am totally not family
oriented in the least so I personally would just do what I wanted
and if they care about their son's happiness they will support
him. That being said if he also isn't into the whole idea of
holiday themes that's another story and then I think you'll have
you take into account his opinion.

Ohhh please post back here in five years about how well your marriage is going

Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

I have family that is Jehova witness and when I had a baby shower @ my church in the basement they would not come. You need to think long and hard before you marry this man. They are not going to give into. So if you want celebrate Christmas and other other holiday this may not be the relationship for you. I don't think you are ready for this marriage.

I have a few things to say about this.

First of all I got married at 20 and we also separated before our 1 year anniversary and divorced by the time I was 22. Like someone said previously you really are not the same person at age 21 that you will be at even 25 and especially not 30. There is a lot of growing up that happens in one's early 20's and it is best done alone and unmarried. I really had no effing clue what I wanted at age 20-21 and really had no effing clue until about 24 what I wanted/needed out of a relationship with a man. My ex-husband and I met when I was 18 and I was young and naive. By the time we married I was a completely different person and he realized that pretty quickly. My not being this dumb little girl that he could manipulate anymore ended things pretty quickly. Now, I'm not saying your fiance is that type of person, what I am saying is that people CHANGE, they change A LOT. There is absolutely no rush in getting married. I have been with my boyfriend for well over 3 years now and I'm for sure old enough to get married (26) but we don't plan on getting married for at least another year. What's the rush? I'll still love him in a year, and I'll still want to be with him, the difference is we will have a lot more money by then and be able to start our lives together the way it should be. With money in the bank and the ability to buy a house and pay for the majority of our wedding ourselves.

Also, my ex-best friend that I have known since age 2 and was friends with all through grade school became a jehovah's witness. They really are NUTS. She won't speak to me anymore because I'm not Jehovah's witness and to be honest we have nothing in common now, her whole life revolves around her jehovah friends. If your fiance is a jehovahs witness and you aren't I'd think LONG and hard about marrying him unless you have plans to become one too. Are his beliefs more similar to yours or his families? It really is important to have similar beliefs to the person you marry, it will cause so much conflict in the long run if you believe completely different things.

You need talk to him about religion, politics, dreams, where you see yourself in 10,20.30 years and how you plan on raising your children before you even think about getting married.

Honestly just based on the fact that you think you can't have the wedding you want because of his family tells me it probably won't last. I'd be damned if I did anything at my wedding that wasn't because I and/or my fiance wanted to do it.

ETA: Unlike what some of the other posters said, I would not "compromise" on decorations based on what my in-laws wanted. I'm sorry but this is the future husband and wife's wedding not the family wedding. They are not getting married, you are. This should be what you both want and the only person you should be compromising with is your fiance. If he agrees with the family about the decorations then you shouldn't do it, but if he agrees with you then why the hell not? If they won't come to their own son's wedding because of some decorations then they probably shouldn't come anyway.

I'm young and engaged as well and I would be angry
if that was my situation. It's your wedding, and as much
as weddings are about family you aren't marrying them,
you are marrying their son. I am totally not family
oriented in the least so I personally would just do what I wanted
and if they care about their son's happiness they will support
him. That being said if he also isn't into the whole idea of
holiday themes that's another story and then I think you'll have
you take into account his opinion.

Your response entirely ignores the possibility that OP's Fiance might care a great deal if his family can't attend.

If you think the decorations at your wedding are more important than your future inlaw's entire set of beliefs and traditions, then you are 100% not ready to be married. To anyone, not just a JW. This has nothing to do with your age. If you were 50 and feeling this way I'd say the same thing.

When you're ready to graciously compromise on the decorations, and have a serious discussion with your BF and how he wants to celebrate holidays (or not) with you and your potential future children, then you're maybe ready to get married.

Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

this is why "adults" have those types of discussions before getting married. If you don't have the same beliefs and can't come to an agreement beforehand there is no hope for a happily ever after.

Aj just YELLED at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like USE YOUR BRAIN.

And you want to marry him..........


why?

Because planning a wedding is fun? Or because he is a good match for you, long term?

I'm young and engaged as well and I would be angry
if that was my situation. It's your wedding, and as much
as weddings are about family you aren't marrying them,
you are marrying their son. I am totally not family
oriented in the least so I personally would just do what I wanted
and if they care about their son's happiness they will support
him. That being said if he also isn't into the whole idea of
holiday themes that's another story and then I think you'll have
you take into account his opinion.

Ohhh please post back here in five years about how well your marriage is going

Marriage can be as much about family as you want it
to be and if you're not into it you don't have to deal with it.
That probably sounds harsh and I don't mean it to come off
that way but that's just my AND my fiancée's way of thinking.
That definitely won't work for everyone but I'm lucky to have
found someone who shares my family values (or lack there
of) so it really isn't an issue for us.