Fiancés family....

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  • McLifterPants
    McLifterPants Posts: 457 Member
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    You think they should just "get over" their religion so you can have the decorations you want? Yeah, that's self-centered and unacceptable. It's also not YOUR DAY. That just screams "selfish". It's your fiancé's day, too, and he probably wants his family around to help celebrate it.

    ^^^ This. It's not a sweet 16, it's a wedding. It's about both of you, and both of your families. If you're old enough to get married, your old enough to not be a child about getting your own way. Although to be honest, if (as you stated) you don't love this guy enough to give up your Christmas (which is purely secular for you, I'm assuming, since you say you aren't religious) then you definitely shouldn't be marrying him anyways. How the HELL do you plan to make a marriage work when you won't even compromise something like that? Also... did this not come up last Christmas? Or did you not know him yet then? Because if you didn't, then yeah, you're 20 and you got engaged to someone you knew less than 9 months. Maybe slow down a little. You've got plenty of years left.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    I love how people are actually giving her advice on the wedding when she shouldn't be having one in the first place...
  • sbernardy
    sbernardy Posts: 188
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    bump
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
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    if he has the same beliefs as his family, it is going to be very hard for the two of u to get along on those sorts of things unless u convert to JW as well. you need to talk with him about whether or not he plans to celebrate holidays and birthdays when u have children. don't wait until after u are married to find out.
  • mrs_schultz2012
    mrs_schultz2012 Posts: 395 Member
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    BTW OP...you said you turn 21 on Sunday...does your fiance plan on celebrating your BIRTHDAY with you? Because JW don't do that....

    ^^^ good point!!!
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    You think they should just "get over" their religion so you can have the decorations you want? Yeah, that's self-centered and unacceptable. It's also not YOUR DAY. That just screams "selfish". It's your fiancé's day, too, and he probably wants his family around to help celebrate it.

    Very true. As silly as it seems to you, it is very important to them. They are his family, and I am sure he wants them around to celebrate. Besides, you can have a gorgeous winter wedding without a Christmas tree and some candy canes.

    Or you could just save the money and elope :) My husband and I got married at the courthouse and now we are buying a house instead!

    Edit: I just read through some of the rest of these posts, you and your fiancee do not at all appear ready to get married. It seems by now you'd know where his stance on what he feels about the religion. If you don't even know if he is going to come to Christmas dinner at your parents house, then you don't know each other. The relationship isn't necessarily 'doomed' but you have a lot on considering to do, and communicating. I definitely wouldn't get married THIS year.
  • Shannon2714
    Shannon2714 Posts: 843 Member
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    Firstly, it's not just YOUR day...it is HIS day, too. What is his opinion on all of this? Since it is HIS family, I think his opinion should matter more than anyone else.

    I do have to say that I agree with a lot of the others...it doesn't sound like you're ready for this at all. You sound like a spoiled, selfish brat. If you want the entire world and everyone on it to revolve around you, you have no business getting married. How long have you been with this man? You haven't celebrated holidays before now? If you've never been with him during the holidays, you are DEFINITELY doing this all way too fast for as immature as you are.
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    So you've just found out about his religion?? That never came up before??

    Please don't get married until you learn the word "compromise". It is pretty important in a marriage, whereas YOUR perfect wedding is not.
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
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  • forgtmenot
    forgtmenot Posts: 860 Member
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    Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

    I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

    Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

    I've thought about having a winter wedding too, and never once did I think about decorating with Christmas ornaments or anything Christmas related for that matter. It's just plain tacky. You clearly brought up the ornaments thing to your fiance to cause conflict.

    Grow up.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Gosh, I know... my in-laws were appalled that I wanted pentagrams at the bloodletting altar of my winter solstice ceremony! THE NERVE.



    You are a bigot and way too young to get married. And you're a snotty bride.

    This is awful... you make the rest of us witches look bad by mixing your judgemental attitude with references to magick.


    Whoa, whoa, whoa...don't get your fancy panties in a bunch there..... I don't judge wiccan, pagan, JW or any other religion for that matter. I was proving a point, which is that the OP's attitudes are ridiculous - if you translate the ideal to another religion it becomes much more obvious.


    Lastly, I used the term pentagram as opposed to pentacle (i.e. satanism as opposed to wiccan)...
  • annabanana05
    annabanana05 Posts: 69
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    you need to call this wedding off!
  • gatorginger
    gatorginger Posts: 947 Member
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    bump
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    I'm sure you already realize that as Jehovah's Witnesses, they are not allowed to attend your non-JW wedding regardless of decorations. I'm certain you've already had mature discussions about the wedding plans, so I apologize for even bringing up this fact after you've obviously put a lot of thought into what your future will be like in compromise with the religious family.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    This is something that you and your fiancee need to work out long before you start planning a wedding. Crap like this destroys relationships and compromise and respect is going to be necessary on both sides.
    Yes. EXACTLY!
    Use this as an occasion to work out the issues of where you will spend time on your holidays, with whom, etc.
    As a married couple, you can decide these things for yourselves, what is best for the two of you.
    And you should work these things out from the get-go.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Gosh, I know... my in-laws were appalled that I wanted pentagrams at the bloodletting altar of my winter solstice ceremony! THE NERVE.



    You are a bigot and way too young to get married. And you're a snotty bride.

    This is awful... you make the rest of us witches look bad by mixing your judgemental attitude with references to magick.


    Whoa, whoa, whoa...don't get your fancy panties in a bunch there..... I don't judge wiccan, pagan, JW or any other religion for that matter. I was proving a point, which is that the OP's attitudes are ridiculous - if you translate the ideal to another religion it becomes much more obvious.


    Lastly, I used the term pentagram as opposed to pentacle (i.e. satanism as opposed to wiccan)...

    Huh, interesting how things in type can be interpreted in totally different ways. Can't speak for the person who posted it but I took that response to be a funny wink wink nudge nudge comment.
  • tigerlinly
    tigerlinly Posts: 219 Member
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    your right they do need to get over themselves. (my birthday is Sunday as well i'll be 47) my ex put some stipulations on me for my wedding but not like that they are independent Baptist but luckily the only stipulation they put onme was becasue i was pregnant they said they would get upset if i wore white that was somethign i could live with so i wore a pale purple (like u would find in a babys room sort of like a prom dress. they were fine with that after teh wedding though they wanted me to give up my jeans because their belief was women wore dresses or skirts but didnt force me because being raised southern baptist they were at least happy i was wiling to go to church and would at least wear a dress to church and church functions so we were able to compromise with all thatas for u they just need to get over themselves this is your day not theirs
  • jhigg11
    jhigg11 Posts: 121 Member
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    I think a lot people jump into marriage on the idea that they have a great relationship and they don't really fight and love to hang out with each other. In reality it's about SHARING a life together. Raising children TOGETHER, and SUPPORTING eachother. The extension of the family is so important to a successful unit. You have to be able to tolerate or feel like you can compromise and you have to come to some understanding, that the wedding isn't just YOUR day. It's his day too. Should it be all about him, No, but it's shouldn't be all about you either. If you don't talk about what faith your children will be raised, how much of a say each others family will have in your lives and just your goals for life, you are doomed to fail. Communicate and see if you really want the same things and be honest with yourself.
  • McLifterPants
    McLifterPants Posts: 457 Member
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    P.S. This is your third topic about your wedding, on a fitness/weight loss website. Maybe try a wedding forum?
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    Gosh, I know... my in-laws were appalled that I wanted pentagrams at the bloodletting altar of my winter solstice ceremony! THE NERVE.



    You are a bigot and way too young to get married. And you're a snotty bride.

    This is awful... you make the rest of us witches look bad by mixing your judgemental attitude with references to magick.


    Whoa, whoa, whoa...don't get your fancy panties in a bunch there..... I don't judge wiccan, pagan, JW or any other religion for that matter. I was proving a point, which is that the OP's attitudes are ridiculous - if you translate the ideal to another religion it becomes much more obvious.


    Lastly, I used the term pentagram as opposed to pentacle (i.e. satanism as opposed to wiccan)...

    Huh, interesting how things in type can be interpreted in totally different ways. Can't speak for the person who posted it but I took that response to be a funny wink wink nudge nudge comment.

    Me too
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