Partner hates me using MFP :(

Hm I can see why people feel that way about a site like this. I have a friend who works with people with eating disorders, and so the concept of calorie counting and using an online community is the way that a lot of eating disorders start. It does worry people, and I'm always making excuses when I talk about MFP so people don't think that I'm crazy! We also know that people who only talk about food and calories and exercise are boring- there's a difference between counting calories and being aware of what we eat and talking about it all the time! Not to say you're a calorie bore, but we do have to be careful!!

For myself, it does seem obsessive. I personally don't like focusing on logging each little thing I eat - it felt like far too much focus on my food, and on numbers, and I felt it was to the detriment of enjoying my food, and also to the detriment of focusing on other things in my life, so I actually stopped logging as a result. But obviously I'm a minority here, as the point of MFP is to log food. And lots of people find it really useful to be logging food, so I can't say it's obsessive for everyone.

But I can see that someone might feel a bit frustrated when they want to sit down for a lovely meal with their partner, and just enjoy the food and the atmosphere, and their partner is on her phone logging each thing, and talking about the calories. Is there not a way you can do the logging privately, and not talk about it? If you plan your meals in advance, you can log while you're planning, and work out the calories that way. Also, if there are meals you have regularly, you can simply enter that as a meal on your food diary, and then it's very easy to log.

I suppose a parallel to this is that I am a very analytical person, and some people find it annoying that I'm so analytical, and they tell me I should just enjoy life without analysing it. And I think that is how some people feel about people who log their food - that they should just enjoy the food without counting every calorie. I actually need to analyse life, because my mind doesn't process things automatically, so I can't understand it otherwise. And I guess it's the same for people who count their calories - they need to do it because their bodies don't automatically tell them when they've had enough, so they will gain weight if they don't.

Here's one.

Go back to him with:

"Am I being obsessive, or... Dedicated?"

Commitment and dedication is not being obsessive. And the people who think it is are usually the people who have never been committed or dedicated to anything in their lives.

So spot on there!

Could it just be how often you are logging in or when? Surely if you fit it round other activities you do together rather than instantly logging something as soon as you've eaten it (or before) it will seem less intrusive to him? But no, don't give it up for anyone if it's helping you!

Perhaps he is feeling a bit left out or ignored as you are using your phone much more than usual when you're together? I know I am, and this is a good wake up call that I need to keep it in check. I'm enjoying doing it because it appeals to my OCD side...but I know it drives me crazy when my hubby is always on his phone...especially at meal times!!!

How about setting aside time when you are alone to log, either a couple times a day or once a day?

I agree with this...it's new and different and takes up extra time. show him all around the site then tell him how much you feel it helps you. He'll get used to it.
Don't let him stop you doing this if you like it- or anything else for that matter.

I agree with this. I had the same kind of issue with my husband. He felt I was spending alot of time on the computer in the evenings when we used to sit and chat with each other, which was true. I explained to him how the site was helping me and he had a little look around on it. He didn't want me to stop as I am happy. We worked out that if I could just limit my time a bit and keep evening for the two of us. So now I pre-log my days food for the next day. Then once the kids go to bed I log on and fix anything I've changed and pre-log for the next day. I usually switch the computer off around 9p.m or there abouts and then we chat about our day or what ever. Best of luck xx

You could set aside 10 minutes after breakfast, 10 after lunch and 15 at the end of your day to log your last meal and snacks and any exercise and tell him that will be all the time you devote to MFP. I would explain calmly that you find it much easier to stick to a better diet when you can see how many calories you eat and how your exercise is helping.

I know when I go over what I've eaten with MFPs help that my guestimation of calories is way way off.

But you should also stick to the promise of not making him a laptop widow. If it is any consolation this is a regular sparring topic in my house too.

Good luck

If MFP works for you and you're not constantly on your phone or computer logging, then your partner needs to know that while you respect their opinion and possible concern, this is your method. Doesn't matter if it's considered "normal" or not, what should matter is the results you get.

I also don't think this is any more compulsive or obsessive than anything else I do. for me the logging side is just memory upgrade for me .

I just started using MFP a few weeks ago and honestly, I see it a LOT like balancing my checkbook.

I used to be HORRIBLE when I was younger about being overdrawn at the bank because I would keep a running balance in my head , which of course was always wrong because I had always forgotten to consider some impulse buy or other.

Logging food and exercise is the exact same thing. I was surprised to find out when I started that I was taking in far more calories than I estimated I was. Now by logging daily, I can tell immediately that I need to go run it off or increase my exercise if I happen to have more calories than my daily goal.

It's the same principle as balancing a checkbook--and no one would call THAT obsessive. Plus, there's all the great support!

What I did:

I replaced the time I 'wasted' on Facebook with time spent on here helping others and reading interesting stuff. Job done. Nobody notices any difference as I was a computery geek anyways