Body Envy /rant

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Replies

  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    I catch myself doing it. Yes, Comparison is the thief of all joy.

    We are all human. Just keep working on it and being the best YOU that you can be. Nothing else matters. Your only competition is you.
  • I know I am guilty of doing this too. I know this will sound mean but I also look at girls heavier than me and wonder if I am that heavy or if I am smaller than them.
    But I am trying to be happy with who I am. There are a lot of things i want to change about myself. Working out and getting healthy is step number 1, but I also want to get a breast reduction, and when I lose this weight I want to get a tummy tuck.
  • chlorisaann
    chlorisaann Posts: 366 Member
    How often do you catch yourself looking at someone else and wishing you looked like them? I've lost 78 out of the 110 pounds I needed to lose and I feel like this feeling is intensifying the closer I get to my goal. I watch some K-pop videos and I feel so envious of the women in them as even when I hit my goal I won't be anywhere near as good-looking as they are. I'd have to lose bone mass to get as thin as they are. I worry that when I hit my goal that I'll still be "fat" in comparison. I know I'm being stupid but I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this. Even my bf has commented that I need to stop comparing myself to other women on TV/online/real life. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so obviously it's a hard habit to drop as I'll never active perfection as it doesn't exist...except in Photoshop. >.<

    You dont have to be rail thin to be beautiful and healthy!!!!! This is my goal body shape, prob won't quite get there, but I am ok with that!!
    pi12_blk_alt.jpg
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Anyway I'm logging off for the night. It's football time. :)
  • MikkLuhnRozzWhuh
    MikkLuhnRozzWhuh Posts: 240 Member
    Probably not but you may be able to Germanically crush one against your forehead if you get too overwhelmed with envy ;)

    To be honest I think it's normal to have some level of "envy", let's remove the term with the negative connotations and say it's normal and healthy to be driven toward achievement, we only depart from the healthy part when our own self worth and happiness is contingent on achieving a goal that is forever a few more feet away.

    It is true. Envy can be terrible if we make it that way, but it can be some insane motivation for us. It depends on how far we let the envy go.
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
    How often do you catch yourself looking at someone else and wishing you looked like them? I've lost 78 out of the 110 pounds I needed to lose and I feel like this feeling is intensifying the closer I get to my goal. I watch some K-pop videos and I feel so envious of the women in them as even when I hit my goal I won't be anywhere near as good-looking as they are. I'd have to lose bone mass to get as thin as they are. I worry that when I hit my goal that I'll still be "fat" in comparison. I know I'm being stupid but I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this. Even my bf has commented that I need to stop comparing myself to other women on TV/online/real life. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so obviously it's a hard habit to drop as I'll never active perfection as it doesn't exist...except in Photoshop. >.<

    Step one: stop comparing yourself to women in k-pop videos
    Step two: follow your goal and realize you're good enough for yourself.
  • MikkLuhnRozzWhuh
    MikkLuhnRozzWhuh Posts: 240 Member
    How often do you catch yourself looking at someone else and wishing you looked like them? I've lost 78 out of the 110 pounds I needed to lose and I feel like this feeling is intensifying the closer I get to my goal. I watch some K-pop videos and I feel so envious of the women in them as even when I hit my goal I won't be anywhere near as good-looking as they are. I'd have to lose bone mass to get as thin as they are. I worry that when I hit my goal that I'll still be "fat" in comparison. I know I'm being stupid but I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this. Even my bf has commented that I need to stop comparing myself to other women on TV/online/real life. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so obviously it's a hard habit to drop as I'll never active perfection as it doesn't exist...except in Photoshop. >.<

    You dont have to be rail thin to be beautiful and healthy!!!!! This is my goal body shape, prob won't quite get there, but I am ok with that!!
    pi12_blk_alt.jpg

    I say go for it, girl! :D You can do it. That's a beautiful body shape.
  • MikkLuhnRozzWhuh
    MikkLuhnRozzWhuh Posts: 240 Member
    Alright. Have a good night. Add me if you want. I hope you will.
  • blondie0942
    blondie0942 Posts: 146 Member
    I definitely am guilty of doing this. all. the. TIME. In fact, I feel fatter at 145lbs than I ever did at 170 because I keep comparing myself to skinnier girls. At least it's good motivation to stay on track! :wink:
  • capriciousmoon
    capriciousmoon Posts: 1,263 Member
    I feel the same, especially while watching Asian dramas. I live in a college town too, so you see pretty, thin girls going for runs all the time. I worked at an arts festival this weekend and saw girls so thin that I'd have to go right down to a skeleton to be as thin as they were, it makes me feel thick and godzilla-ish.

    Though I'm also jealous of people that don't have body image issues (or not obviously) and are able to eat food and enjoy it, worry-free with no calorie counting. I want to be able to wear shorts and not think about it.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    As the song goes, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

    Same goes for loving yourself. You've got this one body. Love it. Do right by it and love it.

    I'm never going to be tall, blonde, leggy or busty. I'm a short brunette whose hair seems hell bent on looking like Red Foo from LMFAO. I'm practically boobless. My torso is about two inches too short and I have a hard time finding clothes that fit. I have really big thighs. I'm happy with how my arms have slimmed down with weight training, but if I look at Victoria's Secrets models... their legs are about as big around as my arms.

    I can't change those things. But I can be the short brunette with a small waist and nice caboose. But really... I'm a lot more than the sum of a bunch of body parts. I'm a kind-hearted person who rescues animals (I've even stopped to fling worms off the sidewalk into the grass). I'm a pretty amazing artist. I'm a fantastic wife. I'm a decent enough cook... and after dinner tonight I think I need to upgrade my status because it was so good I had to take off my shoes to wiggle my toes. I'm strong, physically and emotionally. I'm funny. Damn funny. And I can stretch a dollar further than anyone I know.

    So WHAT if I don't look like a model or actress? I'm NOT a model or actress. How I look doesn't really matter.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Can I be younger, much much better looking and not in pain?
    Oh, and a bigger......................................................toe would be nice too.

    And as Frank said:
    Would you like to swing on a star
    Carry moonbeams home in a jar
    And be better off than you are
    Or would you rather be a mule?

    A mule is an animal with long funny ears
    Kicks up at anything he hears
    His back is brawny and his brain is weak
    He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
    And by the way, if you hate to go to school
    You may grow up to be a mule

    Or would you like to swing on a star
    Carry moonbeams home in a jar
    And be better off than you are
    Or would you rather be a pig?

    A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
    His shoes are a terrible disgrace
    He ain't got no manners when he eats his food
    He's fat and lazy and extremely rude
    But if you don't care a feather or a fig
    You may grow up to be a pig

    Or would you like to swing on a star
    Carry moonbeams home in a jar
    And be better off than you are
    Or would you rather be a fish?

    A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook
    He can't write his name or read a book
    And to fool the people is his only thought
    And though he's slippery, he still gets caught
    But then if that sort of life is what you wish
    You may grow up to be a fish

    And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
    Every day you meet quite a few
    So you see it's all up to you
    You can be better than you are
    You could be swingin' on a star
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    How often do you catch yourself looking at someone else and wishing you looked like them? I've lost 78 out of the 110 pounds I needed to lose and I feel like this feeling is intensifying the closer I get to my goal. I watch some K-pop videos and I feel so envious of the women in them as even when I hit my goal I won't be anywhere near as good-looking as they are. I'd have to lose bone mass to get as thin as they are. I worry that when I hit my goal that I'll still be "fat" in comparison. I know I'm being stupid but I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this. Even my bf has commented that I need to stop comparing myself to other women on TV/online/real life. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so obviously it's a hard habit to drop as I'll never active perfection as it doesn't exist...except in Photoshop. >.<

    You dont have to be rail thin to be beautiful and healthy!!!!! This is my goal body shape, prob won't quite get there, but I am ok with that!!
    pi12_blk_alt.jpg

    The problem with comparing yourself to people is that we're all different. This is something I forget when I go ab getting depressed when I compare myself to ppl. I could never look like her^ (though she is nothing like what I'm aiming for, just makin a point) My body doesn't distribute fat in such a way & I could never force it too. I have leg quite a bit smaller than hers & smaller hips/butt, but my belly is pooches out, whereas hers is seemingly flat.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    I definitely am guilty of doing this. all. the. TIME. In fact, I feel fatter at 145lbs than I ever did at 170 because I keep comparing myself to skinnier girls. At least it's good motivation to stay on track! :wink:

    SAME! I feel fatter now than I did when I started this!
  • I do it too <sigh> I guess it's a woman thing!
  • ptak1sm
    ptak1sm Posts: 172
    Yup. My ribs stick out weird so when I'm fit, people think I don't weigh enough. I'm hoping my ab exercises will even that out so I can look almost normal wearing a fitted shirt :\
  • Ayla70
    Ayla70 Posts: 284 Member
    Am I the only one here who really doesn't give a rats what anyone else looks like? I'm also not aspiring to be model thin. I just want to be healthy! In body, mind and spirit. And happy, content...with enough energy to do the things I do on a daily basis.
  • ReyneDrop
    ReyneDrop Posts: 68 Member
    I do it. I have teeny-tiny bones (seriously- when I wrap my fingers around my wrist, thumb to middle finger, I completely cover one of my nails). I'm also petite- just under 5'4". I also have a ridiculously high metabolism. Therefore it's a lot harder for me to say "oh, I can never look that thin." I literally have no legitimate excuse. I used to think I have a low metabolism because I'd eat less "real food" than other people, but I realized... I'm fat because of all the candy I used to eat as a child. I realized I was 155 lbs (at my highest) because I was eating like over 1200 kcals in candy alone a day, not because my metabolism sucked.

    So now I look at people and realize for the most part, I CAN look like them, which makes it even harder for me to accept where I am now. Oddly enough, I've started gravitating to bodies I can't have - wider hips - probably because I like being able to tell myself it's okay to not look like that. I have a thicker torso- from the side view it looks small, but it's really wide through the waist, and then it pouches out near my belly button... I hate that, but I do feel a bit better knowing it's just in my genetics.
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
    I'm the same way!!! Unfortunately I gave birth to 2 larger babies and my tummy is extra skin so I'll never look like that.

    Even though I suffer from being an enviest too I want to remind you that if you don't like who you are and can be content with how you look now (even though you are changing it and that's a good thing too) you will not like who you are or what you look like when you get to your goal weight. You have to start loving yourself and not comparing yourself to others or you won't like you when you get where you want.

    Plus, many of those women have personal trainers, personal chefs and it's their job to look like that!!! You can't change your ethnicity but you can become the healthiest you that you can be!!!
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    "You could be the Moon..........and still be jealous of the Stars"
  • blonde71
    blonde71 Posts: 955 Member
    I'm ashamed to admit it but yes. I'm human, after all. I find myself being envious of much younger women. Not celebrities but women on this site who are half my age and in my eyes, drop-dead gorgeous. I find myself mentally comparing body parts and body fat percentages, etc. Sometimes it drives me nuts, lol. For the most part, I'm mostly secure with myself and my progress but I think my envy comes from the fact that I regret not getting healthier when I was a lot younger. I feel like my youth was wasted in a way and that's where the jealousy comes into play. I know logically I shouldn't compare myself to a woman half my age or anyone but every once in awhile, the green-eyed monster comes out . :grumble:
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    I do it too <sigh> I guess it's a woman thing!

    i've had a fallopian tubes all my life and have never done this... honestly i think it's more of a cultural thing. generally speaking western white women are raised to dislike their bodies
  • chelsealeigha
    chelsealeigha Posts: 4 Member
    You have come so far and all you can see is what you don't have. I understand that, but I think that you need to talk to someone about your childhood issues. As long as you feel this way about yourself, you will never be happy. Happy isn't about being thin. Want to know how I know? Because I have been a hell of a lot thinner than I am now. I lost almost all of the weight I have now once. Guess what, it didn't make me happy. I had people tell me I looked pretty damn good. I never felt that way. You are on this journey for a reason. You have done an amazing job so far. Don't sabotage yourself! You will never be happy until you heal. Healing starts with the inside. The beautiful you is in there waiting to come out, and it has nothing to do with how you look at all. We can all tell you how pretty and nice you are. It's like throwing water balloons at a spiked wall. All of the beautiful comments people make cannot penetrate the wall of self loathing you have raised around yourself. Like I said, I know about this because I have been through it. You are young. Don't wait unitl you are 33 to do something about it. Take care of yourself. You are doing fabulous with the exterior, now go fix the interior so you can appreciate all of your hard work!!!! Hugs!
  • BrownEyedGrrl
    BrownEyedGrrl Posts: 144 Member
    sigh.... the sad truth about modern society and media influence
    YUP!
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    I used to have that problem, then I quit watching TV, buying women's magazines and pretty much avoided any media that promoted unrealistic body types.

    Wanna see what real female bodies look like? Go visit your local strip club. Seriously. There is cellulite and stretch marks and sagging boobs everywhere. And these women are still able to earn a living by simply displaying their bodies. That is the real world!
  • jazee11
    jazee11 Posts: 321
    Girl, You have to learn to love yourself. Gain some self esteem and work with all that you have. It can't be as bad as you think it is. You do have to change the way you think. I agree with the poster that said you need to get a good workout routine going. Jonesing for what others have will always leave you empty and dissatisfied. Become the change that you would like to see.
  • erinxo13
    erinxo13 Posts: 892 Member
    I literally JUST did that before I clicked this looking at picture one of the blogs I follow posted... :(
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    The most attractive women I know look nothing like models or pop stars or what have you. They`re women who figured out their unique appeal and made it work for them. Dress, hair, all of that can go a long way.

    There are things that bother me about my body (I just posted about my hated stretch marks), but overall, I think I've worked out how to favour my good features, and generally feel pretty good. I'm not classically pretty, but I know from responses I get that other people think I'm at least ok, even cute :) (Despite my broad shoulders, etc)

    Totally fruitless to try to mimic someone else. But it`s normal for younger people to do that. I tried to go blonde once, inspired by some rock star or other (disaster). Find out what your beauty is and work it.

    Actresses who`ve done this:

    Uma Thurman
    Chloe Sevigny
    Sarah Jessica Parker
    Christina Ricci
    Claire Danes
    Kate Winslet
    Kirsten Dunst
  • RubyRubixcube
    RubyRubixcube Posts: 258 Member
    I'm an Aus size 6 (thats a US 2 and UK 4) and I still sit there and become outrageously envious of VS models and curvy alternative chicks... its just about rocking your look I guess.. I still have to work hard on convincing myself that I'm alright looking. Skinny isn't everything
  • RubyRubixcube
    RubyRubixcube Posts: 258 Member
    I used to have that problem, then I quit watching TV, buying women's magazines and pretty much avoided any media that promoted unrealistic body types.

    Wanna see what real female bodies look like? Go visit your local strip club. Seriously. There is cellulite and stretch marks and sagging boobs everywhere. And these women are still able to earn a living by simply displaying their bodies. That is the real world!

    <3 this...