Body Envy /rant

you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. you can do it babe

I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.

there are german women who are stunning with beautiful bodies you could be one of them its all your in attitude .. by having that attitude which you said above you won't do it because your not believing in yourself and have already lost the battle... who cares if your bigger bone embrace it and work it to your advantage girl... tone and shape it

Technically I'm an Irish, Scottish, English and Swedish (the side that I believe I share more of it's traits). I don't know of many large framed petite women with beautiful bodies on TV. I believe I'll hit my goal of 150, I just think it won't be enough to make me look good and I'm not sure if I can be much smaller than that with my bone and muscle structure unless I lose muscle and bone mass. >.<

no large framed, petite women on tv? ever seen drop dead diva? the main character is bigger, and gorgeous, I bet if you looked around a little more you could find a few!
the biggest thing I think is trying to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. I am trying to become the best "me" I can be. I know I still have goals that I havent met, and i am ok with that. I look pretty damn good right now, and I have worked really hard to get to where I am now. so have you! be proud of that!

I live in Korea.. I can honestly say this is the most shallow superficial country I have ever lived in. The women, who are naturally thin, starve them self to look like the do in those videos. It is very common for korean women to survive on way under 1000 cals a day. Also, this country has the highest plastic surgery rate in the world. Nose jobs and eyelid surgery and boob jobs and lipo are common for fathers to give their daughters as highschool graduation presents. It is unacceptable to leave the house without makeup or your hair done. It is really sad and I feel sorry for young women growing up in this country. Theres nothing to envy trust me! You are beautiful.

I used to have that problem, then I quit watching TV, buying women's magazines and pretty much avoided any media that promoted unrealistic body types.

Wanna see what real female bodies look like? Go visit your local strip club. Seriously. There is cellulite and stretch marks and sagging boobs everywhere. And these women are still able to earn a living by simply displaying their bodies. That is the real world!

^^^Exactly!

ive already told you what you need to do to accomplish a hot body.. one is attitude and believing in yourself the other is maintaining your weight and toning and shaping!!! it's very much ahievable but you need to stop wishing you was like someone else because your not your you so you need to deal with it and stop been so negative

And what if after all that, I'm still not hot? What if I'm just destined for mediocrity? I'm only 32 pounds away from my goal and I'm not too impressed. Those last 32 pounds are gonna have to have a miracle with them to make me bikini ready. Sorry, I'm having a down day. I swear I'm happier most of the time. >.<

you are hot! it's all in the way you carry yourself, how you walk, talk, attitude is the sexiest of all.. you can have a super hot body but if you dont love yourself your never going to see that and by the sounds of it you dont like yourself or love yourself... you need to be happy with yourself first.. and it is achieveable!!! attitude attitude attitude

How do you know? I only have pics of my face on this site for a reason. I'm a train wreck from the neck down. I don't like myself, when you're studied like a lab rat through your childhood, forced on medication and constantly being told that something is wrong with you, it's kinda hard to like yourself when you're treated like a freak of nature.

You know that phrase "fake it till you make it" ?

You need to start doing that. You're destiny is mediocrity if that's what you think of yourself.

Beauty isn't your weight, your height or your boobs. Spend time in a museum - one can see a variety of body shapes and attitudes in the art work and the people walking about. It is therapeutic. It is so much easier to understand that beauty is the object of interaction to a space, an attitude either apparent or sublimes into an assumed pose, and imagined thought.
It is a smile, it is the thing that eyes say, it is how hand speak and the angle of a neck.
It is the attitude you rock, it is age well-worn and the willfulness of the individual. Forget the pulp of the glossy page, the real life contest is a measured in laughter or pain, experience wrought - we know this and forget it growing up.
Yes, fit and esthetically beautiful people are out there and wishing to be like that is a human norm, more or less to some degree, as social animals we look at others for cues and ideal behavior. But our beauty, our strength, is how we transform the common everyday into something exceptional.

I'm surprised that in 5 pages of comments, no one mentioned that maybe the OP should possibly seek someone to talk to besides people on a message board for some of the comments posted. I didn't use the quote system as I have the thread open in another tab:

"How do you know? I only have pics of my face on this site for a reason. I'm a train wreck from the neck down. I don't like myself, when you're studied like a lab rat through your childhood, forced on medication and constantly being told that something is wrong with you, it's kinda hard to like yourself when you're treated like a freak of nature. "

"Yeah, envy the girl with Asperger's who is in debt from a Bachelor's degree that she'll never us, working in a warehouse and doesn't have her license yet at age 23. Who the hell would envy me?

Honestly, if I could afford it, I would change everything about my body. That is if my bf would approve of it. Without him, I'm pretty much nothing. "

MBelt, have you considered maybe talking to someone professionally about your feelings about yourself and your constant comparisons to others? That you feel like you're pretty much nothing without your bf? That you have a medical condition that makes you feel like you are worse than other people? I think you've spent years getting yourself to this point- why would you expect just weightloss to get you out of it? This goes a lot further than pounds on, pounds off. This is going to take some commitment to work on the inside as well as out if you want to feel beautiful and appreciate yourself. I'd talk to your GP and see what they have to say.

Sorry to be preachy, the comments just really hit me, and I know from personal experience that losing a bunch of weight isn't the magic cure-all to low self-esteem.

Good luck

Don't watch K-Pop or J-Pop or anything that has tiny Asian chicks...

I'm Chinese and sometimes I actually wish I wasn't. I will 'always' be a little fatter than the typical Asian girl because I'm not 95lbs. When I was visiting my family in Taiwan, you cannot walk down the street or turn on the TV without seeing some dieting ads promoting laxatives or pills, etc. Girls there don't work out to lose weight. They starve themselves and take laxatives, I'm not even exaggerating. For the short time I worked in Taiwan, many of the girls I worked with were on 500kcal a day and I've seen so many of them fainted or just curl up in the corner moaning about how hungry they are but they just wouldn't eat. For the ones that do exercise, they don't lift weight because they don't like muscles and they just do crazy cardio.

I grew up in California and I like the toned look with definitions but even when I was 130lbs wearing a size 4/5 I was still considered big by their standards.

Trust me, you don't want to look like them, all fancy package but no quality substance.

Girl, You have to learn to love yourself. Gain some self esteem and work with all that you have. It can't be as bad as you think it is. You do have to change the way you think. I agree with the poster that said you need to get a good workout routine going. Jonesing for what others have will always leave you empty and dissatisfied. Become the change that you would like to see.

So This!!! And be the best you can be-and love yourself for it..So other women learn from you and others to Love themselves!
Good Luck:-)

I'm surprised that in 5 pages of comments, no one mentioned that maybe the OP should possibly seek someone to talk to besides people on a message board for some of the comments posted. I didn't use the quote system as I have the thread open in another tab:

"How do you know? I only have pics of my face on this site for a reason. I'm a train wreck from the neck down. I don't like myself, when you're studied like a lab rat through your childhood, forced on medication and constantly being told that something is wrong with you, it's kinda hard to like yourself when you're treated like a freak of nature. "

"Yeah, envy the girl with Asperger's who is in debt from a Bachelor's degree that she'll never us, working in a warehouse and doesn't have her license yet at age 23. Who the hell would envy me?

Honestly, if I could afford it, I would change everything about my body. That is if my bf would approve of it. Without him, I'm pretty much nothing. "

MBelt, have you considered maybe talking to someone professionally about your feelings about yourself and your constant comparisons to others? That you feel like you're pretty much nothing without your bf? That you have a medical condition that makes you feel like you are worse than other people? I think you've spent years getting yourself to this point- why would you expect just weightloss to get you out of it? This goes a lot further than pounds on, pounds off. This is going to take some commitment to work on the inside as well as out if you want to feel beautiful and appreciate yourself. I'd talk to your GP and see what they have to say.

Sorry to be preachy, the comments just really hit me, and I know from personal experience that losing a bunch of weight isn't the magic cure-all to low self-esteem.

Good luck

Well I'm sorry, I am very wary of "professionals." They just want me to get on pills and never get better so I keep coming back and giving them my money. Either that or they ask me "Why haven't you killed yourself? Have you thought about it this week? How did you plan on doing it?" Psychologists are sadistic *kitten* that thrive off the pain of others. I've been "studied" by then since before I could talk, I want nothing to do with them now. This is something I have to do for myself. I'll feel better once I hit my goals, not just in weight loss either. Professional and personal goals.

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I read this woman's comment and got a little aggravated. You don't need special help...do we all need special help too if we're the same way as you. Not EVERYTHING is some professional's responsibility. You are strong and you can do this and you don't need a professional to make you feel like scum for a while so you can feel better and stop envying everybody else...

I still agreed with what the one guy said about how envy can be a good thing...a healthy thing. It can lead you to know there are better things for you and go for them. It's only bad (and yes, it's bad in our cases) when we're looking and almost hating these people for having the bodies they do and wondering if we'll ever be good enough like they are.
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I believe it's something work on and not something just go get medication and counseling for. I totally beg to differ from your comment and found it extremely offensive, @vanilla.
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mbelt, I wish you the best of luck and really hope we get to chat sometime....we can work through this without some drugs or counseling. I'm sorry, I'm already seeing a psychiatrist for an actual chemical imbalance and I don't need to see one for anything else. I'm already seeing a psychologist about bipolar disorder and don't believe that my weight loss and "body envy" is the responsibility of anyone like that.
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It's our bodies and we have the power....if we need to figure out how to feel better, it's not necessary something some "professional "can fix. Sometimes, people have to do it the hard way and mbelt....we WILL!

I'm surprised that in 5 pages of comments, no one mentioned that maybe the OP should possibly seek someone to talk to besides people on a message board for some of the comments posted.

My comment was based on the OP's post here. I usually don't research an individual's comments. The sentiment expressed is not uncommon. There are many individuals on this board who seek help from online strangers when they should be consulting professionals. You may have a point.

Must be weird I never do this .... of course there's people I would love to be like (body wise).


For me I guess when you're always compared by family to someone on a "looks" basics (for me my size 6 cousin with the olive complexion) you learn to get better at something else that's not based on your appearance.

I love this.
This is a challenge, alright!
What can I be better at....hmmm......

How often do you catch yourself looking at someone else and wishing you looked like them?

Honestly, very rarely...but it could be because I'm middle-aged, compared to the OP.

I'm middle-aged, too, and if I see someone with a great body I do think, "Would be nice," even though of course I never looked like that and never will. I don't torture myself, but I do think it. It's human nature.

It's a real disservice to people to promote the notion that if they just develop the right attitude all their problems will be solved, forever. No envy, no regrets, no fear. It doesn't happen. As I said, you work towards having as many good days as possible.

Op .. if fact every have a read of this http://www.jencomaskeck.com/2012/09/social-media-friend-or-foe-to-our-self.html

Stop comparing yourself to others, i thought that if i lost the weight i would be a different person, turns out you are who you are just in smaller clothes!

I stopped comparing myself a long time ago when i realized that i should be thankful i have a body i can use, that i can make myself the best version of me.