Body Envy /rant

You will never be able to pull something off the rack and know that it will look good without trying it on. I'm going to just come out and say that I have a pretty slammin' body, I'm tall, I'm slim and I have a small bone structure/frame and I have never been able to pick anything up and say "this will definitely look good on me". Every piece of clothing is cut differently and uses different fabrics, you have to embrace your body type and learn to dress in a way that accentuates it and not just pick out whatever is supposed to be fashionable. Dressing for your body type without copying the magazines is called having style, and it's way cooler than the latest pair of jeans.

Totally agree. I can't for the life of me figure out how anyone buys clothes online without trying them on. When I buy jeans, I take the size I think I am, and the next size up and down into the dressing room with me. Sometimes I could try on every single size there is and NONE of them fit my body properly. Heck, there's been times that the size smaller was looser on me than the next size up, because there's so little consistency in sizing. I'll buy what fits and flatters, no matter what the tag says.

MAYBE for something like a stretchy t-shirt, I could buy it without trying it on. Maybe. But anything that's the slightest bit tailored and fitted needs to be tried on. Even if I'm buying two items in the same style and size but a different color or wash, I'll try them both on.

It's especially ridiculous because it's culturally induced. Not that we women shouldn't push back, but it's difficult to completely cast off cultural norms in a culture in which you still lack power. A lot of women don't think about it, or don't care, which is even sadder.

I've been reading this thread in fascination because I never realized so many women were so envious of others for such superficial reasons. I think it's quite sad. Even when I was young, I don't recall comparing myself to others. We all have different builds, strengths, weaknesses, etc. I just always wanted to be my best self.

But I wasn't going to type a response until I read this. I have to say "What the heck?????"

Really? You lack power? The only way you can lack power is to give your power away. The only way you can be wrapped up in ridiculous cultural norms that don't make any sense is if you allow those norms to get under your skin and effect you. If other women don't think about it or don't care, who cares? You are the only person you can control.

Good grief. I grew up in a time when Help Wanted ads were still listed separately as Men Only and Women Only. When there was no sexual harassment laws and I had to quit a job in high school because the boss pinched my butt every chance he got and there was no recourse but to quit. I was routinely paid 25-35% less than guys doing the same job I did. And there was no legal recourse, no ability to sue, nothing. Zip. It was the way it was.

Yes, we still live in a society with patriarchal tendencies but women have much more power than they have had at any time in history. By allowing yourself to envy other women, you're buying into patriarchal standards by judging yourself by what you think men prefer. And it's just a bunch of hooey.

I realize I've been lucky to be married to a man who thinks I'm hot and sexy whether I'm 130# or 230# or anywhere in-between. As long as I'm happy, he's happy. And I routinely point out beautiful women to him because there are women that leave me awe-struck with their beauty. I'm not jealous nor am I threatened by a beautiful woman. I simply appreciate beauty when I see it.

Only by grabbing and utilizing our own power, forging our own road and not buckling under to meaningless societal pressures, and by uplifting other women whether it be for their beauty or for their achievements or their wisdom or whatever, will women achieve equal power in this country. Quit whining and do it.

Oh, last comment, envy is never a good thing. You should never be motivated by envying others as that is motivation based from a negative and it usually creates negative emotions within us. Instead, be inspired. Inspiration is positive energy and more likely to yield positive results.

Rant over.

I absolutely LOVE this!

Body envy is a huge problem, but it is something that can be changed to your advantage, molded into a positive. You can look at and appreciate other bodies, distance yourself from them and appreciate them like works of art. Every time you see a woman and think, "I wish I looked like that," change it too, "she is a beautiful woman," and leave it at that, or better yet, add, "and so am I." There is beauty in so many shapes/looks. Obviously, no one woman can be them all.

One thing I love love love love is seeing women who are not only comfortable in their own skin, but embrace and love their bodies with utter abandon. Have you ever been to a burlesque show? Now there is some body confidence.