???? for the ladies in long term relationships.

Drinking and driving!! lets just hope he doesnt run into some innocent person or family and kill them, easier said then done but if i knew someone doing that I would call the police on them no question even my own husband!!, also like others have said it shows that he is a very self centered person that only thinks of his needs and wants and sorry to say but people like this rarely change if you stay you will find it will most likley get worse and you will never be treated equally or fairly better to leave now and find someone that you can love and be loved by in a happy and healthy relationship

Yeah, I don't think he is being fair to you or considerate of you at all. I think you should lay down the law and if if he wants to stay out every night leaving you with his family, it may be time to move on. Better while you're young, single and childless then to have this come up later on when it may be too late to act on it.

I do not know the whole situation here. Do you work or is he the only one supporting you? Do you have kids together? Have you tried getting to know his family? Do you drive? Do you have friends you can go out with?

Now, for the topic at hand with my limited information: My husband drinks in the evenings several nights of the week. He does this at home. He has cut back a lot since we first met. He says this is because family is important to him. He would NEVER drink and drive. That would just be foolish. And dangerous. He does go out with the guys some nights, when we have discussed it ahead of time.

If I were in your shoes, I would look for work. Sometimes it is simply a matter of attitude that if he is the only one paying the bills, then he feels like he should be able to relax, and he does have the power in the relationship. The person who cares the least controls the relationship. The only way to take back that power so you can be on equal footing again is to work on you. You cannot fix his habits. You can choose what you will and will not put up with, though.

A job is great divorce insurance. If you are living with relatives you don't know well, try to get to know them better. You have to live together, so why keep it awkward? Maybe they are feeling the same way you are. I am friends with my mother in law, and it helps to get her perspective on hubby's behavior because she watched him grow up. Sometimes there is an additional issue you are not seeing that plays a part in his behavior. I would start by helping one of them with a chore, like laundry or dishes so it isn't as uncomfortable. You can talk while you work and keeping your hands busy will fill any silences.

Work on how you feel about yourself. Maybe this means exercising, maybe this means finding a hobby, getting a makeover, doing your hair differently, whatever makes you feel good about you. You could even volunteer somewhere so you know you are making a difference. This can also lead to having a support group of friends.

I wish you all the best. I realize that not all of my suggestions will fit into your life at the same time, but I hope that at least one jumps out and strikes you as something worthwhile.

I don't know what you should do.

But personally I hope he gets caught.
One of the most selfish things someone can do is drink and drive.
I'd call the cops on him - granted I'm not in love with the dude.

^^^this

Been with my guy almost 4 years and while he does other things to piss me off ( don't they all???).....no, that is not something he would do....

Maybe it's time to re-evaluate the relationship? From your posts, you seem really unhappy...Life is too short for that! :drinker:

Step 1: Open door.
Step 2: Have him stand in the doorway facing outward.
Step 3: Kick him in the *kitten* as hard as possible (aim for the curb and kick swiftly).
Step 4: Close door.
Step 5: Move on with your life.

Life is way too short to waste on people who just aren't worth your time no matter how long you've been together. Find a way to move on.

Oh, and +1 more for calling the cops on his drunk driving *kitten*. He's a selfish turd for putting other innocent people at risk with his behavior.

My abusive first husband wasn't a drinker, but he certainly had the attitude that he was his own boss and I had no say in what he might do at any given time. If he deigned to do anything nice for me, I had better be the must frigging grateful person on the planet. ::eyeroll::

My current (and final) husband likes to do things like go to baseball games or spend some time with his buddies, but he ALWAYS talks with me about it first. He often will go to the movies without me, but only after I have said I don't want to see the movie in question; otherwise, I would be invited to come along. If I tell him it's not a good time for whatever reason, he will abandon that plan or reschedule it for another day. He would NEVER just go do something, especially if I had said I wanted him not to. Generally, we each share our wants and needs and try to help each other get those things met if possible.

NO My husband of 36 years would never drink and drive. At the age of 4 our grandaughter was paralyzed after the van she was riding in was hit by a drunk driver. Think of a 4 year old little girl being PARALYZED for the rest of her life because your boyfriend chose to drink and drive. Remember buzzed driving IS DRUNK DRIVING.

It's time for you to do something about this....It sucks that he leaves you for the bar to sit at home by yourself...That is definetly something I couldn't do and I hope you see a "goodbye" in your future...

Nope.

I'd really like if my OH went & did stuff rather than work & come home. Not that I don't like spending time with him, I do. I just think he needs some time out to himself.

I definitely wouldn't like it if he was doing it every day after work though.