Is it rude to go to a restaurant and not eat?
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I am on the fence on whether it's rude or not. As a former waitress (for what seemed like forever), I really didn't care if people didn't order as long as someone was ordering at the table. This was at a normal table restaurant, however. As I remember it, hibachi restaurants have that seating around the cook top where seating is limited and the cook serves you. I feel as though while it might not be rude, per se, to not order in that situation, it would certainly make the table feel awkward.
The other side, I have gone out with people and when they don't order, it makes everyone else feel uncomfortable to be watched eating. If I am not hungry and going out to eat for social reason or necessity, I will order a side salad just to be eating while others are eating. It's cheap, not necessarily filling, and can be low on calories.
Just my two cents.
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If you're try to be healthy - your family is there for support, not to critique or get upset if you don't eat when you're not hungry. I would have had a drink of some sort- tea or coffee. The only thing that seems rude to me, was texting at the dinner table- at a restaurant or home!
I hope your daughter had a great birthday
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I used to think this to be rude, but now I don't think much of it because I work in mental health and take my clients out sometimes. They almost always want to go to eat (they pay for themselves) and I don't always have the money for that, so I'll just have water or soda if it fits in my calories.0
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Not rude at all. I think it's normal for people in a large party to have someone that doesn't order. You were there for your daughters party not just for dinner so I don't see what the problem was. If anything your wife was being silly for not ordering because she was mad at you.0
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I agree with you. I have gone out with friends but had eaten before. I ordered tea or drank water. I wanted to visit and they were hungry. Why should I have to order something I don't want just to fit in.0
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It creates an awkward situation for those dining with you and can be seen as cheap.0
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Oh gawd, really? People really think that's rude, that 1 of 4 people was so full that they didn't need to eat lunch? No wonder why we're all fat -- because of "social norms" we have to shove food in our face to "save face"? Give me a break. That's ridiculous. I say if you don't want to eat or spend money, especially when you are already full, then go for it. Eating when we aren't hungry is exactly why most people are overweight -- its a social thing (mixed with many other reasons, of course).
However....I think if it was just two people that went to a restaurant and one of them didn't eat, it might make the other feel uncomfortable and in that case I'd order SOMETHING, even if I took it home. Not saying that is right, nor should matter....but....that, for me at least, would be my breaking point and I would feel I have to order something.
Your wife made it worse by not ordering as well. She could have asked if you wanted to share something with her....and make it all better and not an argument afterwards.
If I wasn't hungry and still went out with friends/family...it would be because I wanted to spend time with them...and I don't think anyone should make you feel bad because you enjoy their company, and didn't want to eat.
I hate social norms. I'm probably an anomaly.0 -
It is rude, esp at some place like a hibachi restaurant, to go and not order. You are taking up a seat that that restaurant could be using for a paying customer (and no, the fact that you are (probably) paying for your kids doesn't count).0
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I don't understand why your wife didn't order... was she not hungry? Do you have an unwritten law that you need to eat together or not at all? Was she mad at you for that and not about food?
Next time, don't say anything, let them order and then say "just a coffee/tea/whtever" and carry on with conversation without acknowledging that you didn't order food. It was rude to disagree about it in front of your daughter and friend and a fight about food isn't about food, it's about control.
Don't forget to tip your server0 -
thats not rude, its your choice lol
Its not like none of you ate . Why force feed yourself , thats how weight problems happen ?
I think you shouldnt have to eat nothing inless you want to. what happend to free will ??0 -
By whom? The server? The other people around you? Honestly who gives a crap?It creates an awkward situation for those dining with you and can be seen as cheap.0 -
Not rude at all!
Your wife was being rude for making a scene about it. Texting at the dinner table is something that kids get in trouble for, why the heck would an grown woman engage in such behavior for such a petty issue?
I don't understand why people think going to a restaurant and not ordering (when other people at the table do) is such a terrible faux pas. There is no reason to waste money just for the sake of having something in front of you that you do not plan on consuming. The purpose of the dinner was your kid's birthday, not for you to stuff yourself to pacify your crazy wife.0 -
I don't think it is rude. I think it is rude and petty for your wife to not order as well and then for you two to text eachother instead of enjoying your daughters birthday.0
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It's like going to a bar and not drinking!!! You can't do this kind of crazy *kitten*..... You need help!!!! Man, just do your thing.... people will get over it.0
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I don't see an issue with it. I've worked in restaurants and I don't think it's weird on uncomfortable to go with a group of people to a restaurant and not order if you're not hungry. Now, if I had 4 people sit down and had 4 people order nothing but water I'd be a little freaked, but otherwise whatever. What I think is weird and uncomfortable is what your wife did, creating tention when it's completely unnecessary makes a situation uncomfortable. If she was hungry then she should have eaten too, by not eating if she was hungry, giving you dirty looks, and fighting with you via text instead of chillaxing and letting your daughter enjoy the birthday that she wanted to have is rude.0
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I have done this on many occassions. No big deal.0
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I do not think so.
I have gone a few time with my friends to restaurants and not ordered anything because I am on a diet.
we had a fun time.0 -
it is rude. People dont realize that servers only make 2 dollars an hour so sitting there and not eating is rude because you probably did not tip her well and I mean by well means you only tipped her based on the tab which was nothing. Servers have to pay taxes on min wage even if they don't make min wage so it's important to tip them. Many have families to feed, bills to pay, and struggling. Before anyone says they should get another job, its not that easy with the economy and job market. I know many highly degreed people who are serving because it's all they can get at the moment.0
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Reading through these replies, it seems people have an extremely low threshhold for rude behavior.
I just don't see the big deal unless while you aren't eating, you're berating others for doing so. Or throwing food at them or something.
THIS!
I don't understand how choosing not to order because you're not hungry, is even remotely rude?! I'm baffled at how this can be seen as rude.0 -
Unless you look like you might be sick at any minute, it is incredibly rude to go to a restaurant and not eat.
Looks really cheap too.
In some restaurants you will be sent away if you don't order anything, even if your friends do have something.
Just order something small next time, like a small salad or soup.
where do you eat that they'll ask someone to leave if they are just there to have a conversation with some friends? What if they got invited on a spur of the moment things right after they ate?
I don't like your restaurants.0 -
I've been in that situation and it is so hard. I typically go for a salad (side salad) or at hibachi you can do a miso soup, which isn't too bad.
It is very uncomfortable and awkward to go to a restaurant and not eat- IMO. Everyone is different. If I go out to eat with people, they expect everyone to eat. If I go out for drinks, it okay because we just want drinks (coffee, or alcohol).0 -
Well...I can really see all sides of this. First, I am a wife. Second, I used to wait tables. Third, I am on a mission to not overeat...but can also always eat.
So...as the wife, I would have been disappointed b/c I love Hibachi food. She felt like she shouldn't order either because you weren't ordering. She would have been embarrassed to be the "piggy" ordering food when you didn't having just had the same late lunch and snacks as you.
As the waitstaff, I would have been like, why the hell are these people taking up my space if they're not going to eat. I have to essentially take care of 4 people, but will only get paid to take care of 2. Granted there are not "small" things to order from the Hibachi grill, but you and your wife could have shared a big sushi roll or something. And maybe each have one of the salads they give you or a seaweed salad. OR you could have just gone all out and had this as your early dinner and just had light snacks later in the evening. OR you could have just eaten half. Hibachi food reheats quite well.
As the person who doesn't want to overeat, see above ordering scenarios.
Honestly, I can guarantee you never would of thought of this had your wife not mentioned it. Overall who cares about what the server thinks of you. That said, it struck a nerve with your wife because she probably really wanted to order something but didn't want to look like a pig.0 -
If you weren't hungry, then you weren't hungry. If I'm celebrating my birthday, I want my family and friends there for their company. It's not mandatory that they eat. I think it's silly that your wife says not eating is rude and then does the same thing. I think that act made the situation more uncomfortable than it had it to be for everyone involved. Eating when you're not hungry is a major reason why a lot of us are here in the first place, right?
Edited to say: If I was the ONLY one eating that would be awkward, but one person not eating at my birthday dinner is not a big deal. Your wife escalated the situation when she too chose not to eat. What did that accomplish? And then the texting back and forth, now that's rude...I hope your daughter still had a good time.0 -
Rude means "Offensively impolite or ill-mannered" according to the dictionary. Certainly, the threshold for this is a subjective thing, (especially when it comes to a spouse lol).
I just don't get how it is "offensively impolite or ill-mannered" to not eat at a restauant. Kudos for your self-control. It's your body, you can decide to put whatever you want in it, or nothing at all.0 -
My family tends to go out to eat a lot, and I usually tag along for the company. I can't tell you the amount of times that I've just ordered a diet coke and didn't order anything to eat either because I'd already eaten at home or I was engulfed in eating disorder thoughts or I couldn't find anything on the menu that I wanted. I don't think it's weird or rude.0
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It was all about your daughter and you were there to spend that valuable time with her. so often we are faced with tests and challenges during our battle with our weight. I wouldn't sweat it. my 2 cents.0
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To be honest if I go to a restaurant it is to eat, I dont have something to eat before and then go to a restaurant because I dont see the point in that, at the end of the day its your choice, its not cheap, next time have a coffee or something like that, your wife should have had something instead. Its all about the weight loss at the end of the day0
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Wow I can't believe how many ppl think that it was rude? Sorry but if I'm not hungry or in my situation, just don't want to spend the money on it, then I won't get anything, as long as SOMEone at the table ordered something. Been out with big groups several times and wanted to be there to enjoy the company, not necessarily the food. Do these ppl think it would be best to tell the children they can't go? What a disappointment for the child. Don't understand why the wife didn't eat. As long as you tip well, I see nothing wrong with it. Ppl at the table ARE eating and ARE paying for food, so who says that EVERYone at the table must eat? I've been to hibachi places and other than a soup or salad or maybe sushi, there's nothing small so I fully understand not wanting to order a big meal. My gf and I have started just ordering one meal and splitting it, but I'm not gonna buy food or spend extra money just to impress others. You did nothing wrong.0
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Don't think it was rude not to order, esp. since it was a social occasion. Didn't make any sense that your wife didn't order, since she considers that rude. ??? The rude part came with the texting at the table instead of enjoying the people in your party. Don't know your daughter's age, but that's a horrible example of courtesy to set for her.0
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I don't think it was rude at all to not order food if you weren't hungry.0
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