Is it rude to go to a restaurant and not eat?

From a personal standpoint I would not eat under the circumstances and would not consider it rude. If it was just you and your wife and it was a dinner date, then you should eat something even if it was something small like a dinner salad.

That being said from a servers standpoint I would rather have customers who did not order then order and pick at something. I am going to assume if you order something and only pick at it that there is something wrong with the meal and not only will I check back and ask I will send another server and if the other server does not find out what is wrong you had better bet my manager is not far behind. While there is a great number of people who have no problems telling you if there is something wrong there is also an equal number of people who will just quietly pick at something and not say a word. As a server it is part of my job to figure out how to make your dining experience the best it can be and if you are not eating the food that you ordered I have to assume that something is wrong and do everything that I can to fix the issue.

P.S. If you don't order it is only polite to tip. You are taking up a table that could have been used by another group of customers. The argument that I have overheard at tables usually consits of tipping off the bill even if one or two did not eat but please understand that if the one or two that did not eat were not there the remaining guests would have been seated at a smaller table and depending on how large the group is I may or may not have been required to give up a table or only been allowed to take the party due to the size. I only make $5.50 an hour in wages (this is tip credit states like AZ and the $5.50 is above minimum wage in AZ) no matter if I sell $500 or $5,000 during a shift. It was my tips that put food on the table and a roof over my head. By the time they took taxes out of my check I was lucky if the check covered the gas to and from work.

Sigh. You're not saying anything I didn't say No one said stealing, "empty seat," etc... It's all about a custom you don't even have in your country. You literally just spent 30 minutes arguing over something I never said, nor do you seem familiar with.

Well, I'm out. Lol, good luck OP, if you ever return.

If I'm saying everything you said why are you arguing with me? HMMMM? Who's wasting time now? Sheesh.

If people are going to leave a decent tip, they will leave a decent tip and recognize if they are taking up a bigger table than necessary or ordering less than usual. (Assuming decent service).

If someone does not leave a decent tip, regardless of who orders and the size of the bill, that person was not goiing to leave a decent tip, anyway.

I have left a huge tip before for a very small check because we spent a long time at the table just talking and I knew the server missed out on someone else being seated there. If tipping is the only issue, good tipped are good tippers; bad tippers are bad tippers, no matter the situation.

I think your wife has issues. She probably felt like if she ate and you didn't, that would make her look like a pig.

this. she was probably hungry and didnt want to look bad by eating without you. BTW y'all need to work on your conversation skills. this should have been discussed before you walked in the resteraunt.

i don't always order in restaurants...and I don't always eat...they are social gathering spots and as a result i often end up at them with no appetite...

so no...i don't feel bad and I don't think it's rude...

I have had people ask me aren't you going to order anything and I just smile and say no, I'm not hungry, but I will have a cup of tea...or a glass of wine...

no one ever seems offended...

Perfectly fine to go and not eat. I have done that before and so has my Mom when she has not felt too hungry. Why eat if you are not hungry? Conversation is just as filling sometimes.

No, as a matter of fact I told a co-worker that I would be more than happy to accompany her on her lunch out and just order a diet coke or something. It's also about the "fellowship", not just the food.

No, as a matter of fact I told a co-worker that I would be more than happy to accompany her on her lunch out and just order a diet coke or something. It's also about the "fellowship", not just the food.

I think this idea that family gatherings MUST be about food is why we have gotten so freaking fat. We equate food with happiness, togetherness and fellowship. How is that healthy or good? We should be able to visit, fellowship and be together without needing everyone to be stuffing their faces.

My wife told me that I should have ordered something small and just taken most of it home.

I'm with your wife. Last week I found myself at a meeting with friends at a restaurant after I'd eaten. I just ordered something small.

Whether trying to lose weight or not, I've often gone to restaurants and not eaten. And I've had friends go with me and not eat. For example, I'm out shopping and run into a friend and they want to grab something to eat and catch up but I'm not hungry, I will say "I'm not hugnry right now, but I'll have a drink and we can catch up while you eat".

It would certainly be odd if an entire party took up a table and didn't eat, but as long as someone is eating it's not uncommon.

Your post says your wife didn't eat either. Why did she not order if she thought it was rude of you not to order?

My Father is probably the pickiest eater you will EVER meet and he has done that all my life!! At first it would annoy me and embarrass me, but now I know he would sit there to enjoy the time. It no longer bothers me and I don't think it's rude at all.

:indifferent: yes it was rude, and i understand why your wife didnt order( its rude to eat infront of somone that isnt) and since i have also been in your shoes here my little tip for the next time it happens, order coffee or a pot of tea and mebbie some toast. sip the coffee/tea and pick at the toast

i am a little shocked at how many people think this was rude or cheap. who cares what other people think? who cares if other people are a little uncomfortable with someone who doesn't order. food is not there to be wasted to make other people feel comfortable, and no one should feel pressured to eat when they aren't hungry. it's not like he made everyone else go out to dinner and then chose not to eat. it was his daughter's decision to go there.

wouldn't it have been much more rude to bail on his daughter's birthday dinner because he was full from what he had already eaten that day? didn't he make a great parenting choice to stay with his daughter and keep celebrating her day?

and as far as the wife angrily texting during dinner, and then not ordering as some sort of mental punishment (of him? of herself?), that is ridiculous. why is she trying to control what he does? why does she care if he orders or not? HE IS THERE, WITH HIS FAMILY, CELEBRATING HIS DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY KIDS DON'T HAVE 2 PARENTS SHOWING UP? WHO GIVES A @#$% IF HE DOESN'T ORDER? If my husband decided not to order at a restaurant because he wasn't hungry, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

I think it's time for your wife to focus less on judging and controllingn what you are doing and more on enjoying the moment and the fact that she has a husband who willingly shows up for important events like family birthdays.

Things I've learned from this thread:

1) NEVER, EVER take my child out to eat again unless I'm starving and will order food. Even then, nah, he gets a veggie tray next year in the back yard.

Never ask people I don't know on the internet their opinion unless I'm ready to be made a fool and/or make sure my wife is called petty and childish and other wonderful sentiments. However, it is fun to watch people argue about something that has already happened and can't be changed.

III) If I'm not hungry, and other people are, I should stay in the car or go in and order food I'm not going to eat and push it around with my fork...of course, this goes against everything I've taught my child when I tell him not to play with his food and just eat it. But, hey, people on the internet told me I can, so it must be ok.

4) Waitresses don't like you if you just order a drink (or nothing at all) while everyone else orders food. They think you're wasted space and a smaller tip. (I also learned that I go to a restaurant to make sure the waitstaff is well taken care of with my tip and to please them and make them comfortable...and here all these years I thought it was the other way around. I'll know better for next time.)

E) I'm not permitted to text using a phone that I pay for and a service I pay for because it may offend other people who were not even there. Or other patrons of the restaurant who were apparently more interested in my business than their own. I understand the whole "don't text and drive" laws, but "don't text and eat"...that's a new one.

This has been a very educational Monday morning.

LOL Who knew we were gonna learn so much this morning? I'm kind of afraid to go a restaurant again anytime soon...


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Should the question be what we think? Or should it be why does your wife feel this way and how can you both be comfortable? There is something that is causing her to perceive this as rude. If I had that reaction it would come from one of two places. I would either feel the person is trying to be cheap or that their desire to lose weight is causing them to make different decisions then they have in the past.

Your post didn’t speak at all to money, so I’m guessing that isn’t the problem here. You did speak about dieting and maybe you need to reenlist your wife’s help with losing weight. Maybe she feels guilty for eating while she sees you as sit starving, maybe she feels like your choosing losing weight over a good time with the family, maybe she feels like she should be joining you in this process … there are a lot of possibilities here. You know your wife better than any of us. Reassure here in the area you think she needs it and ask her for help in the areas you need it.

We all need our loved once to be engaged in this process with us and it hurts when they seem to fite us. Good luck on your journey.

This one's easy. She was mad because if you weren't hungry and she was, and she ordered while you didn't, she would feel piggish because of the whole 'men are supposed to eat more than women' thing.

She wasn't really mad at you, she was just insecure as all heck and would have chowed down just because, or maybe she was still hungry. She could have just asked if you'd like to split something small but obviously she thought you should catch on that she wanted something but didn't want to look fat and kept getting madder when you didn't magically realize what she was thinking/feeling.

It's crazy, I know. People act that way for some strange reason.

^^^ that