A Happy Marriage = Wife in the Kitchen
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That's because no matter how many times he does the dishes, he doesn't put them in the dishrack the right way!!!!!
Yeah, I had to get over that one... I like the help!0 -
discuss? Imma stfu and get in the kitchen. lol discuss0
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It isn't so crazy that some people like to do things the traditional way
When I have kids of my own, I'd like to be a stay at home Mom. I don't wanna have babysitters and day cares raising my kids. That will mean I'll be at home doing the housework and he'll be out working and making money, that is fair to me. 0 -
The topic needs to be fixed...
"A Happy Marriage = Wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen"
Or:
"A marriage that probably isn't really happy but dammit, it lasts = wife as a domestic slave"
Ha ha, know some people like this! Lots of them:-D0 -
my first thought is maybe women and men who view things as more egalitarian are not afraid to get a divorce if things get rough. whereas, maybe those that don't have egalitarian relationships may stay in the marriage longer regardless of whether they are actually happy or not... due to "traditional" values... i know know. just throwing that out there. probably nothing to do with "happy marriage" at all. that being said, i know some people with "traditional" roles can be quite happy as well.0
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You said it.That's because no matter how many times he does the dishes, he doesn't put them in the dishrack the right way!!!!!0 -
no one would be happy with me in the kitchen. I can't even make oatmeal without messing it up. no lie!!!0
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I am entirely ok with this IF the wife is a housewife or stay-at-home-mom. However, if both partners work full time, then they should share the housework equally.
this...0 -
I think a couple who has to have everything 50/50 is fussing about the wrong things and is bound to fail. We do and give to our mates because we love and care about them. Life is never equal as the eb and flow of realtionships change just as circumstances do. Sometime each person carries the load a bit more than the other. If you have never done more than 50 % in your relationship, I feel sorry for your mate. Sometimes I do more and sometimes he does more. Pregnancies, surgeries, depression, the blues, loss of job, death of a loved one are all examples of lifes issues. When we are down we need our mate to carry us, just as if they are down we will gladly cary them.
Life is NEVER 50/50. You should give 100% all of the time.
Excellently said.0 -
It's not a surprise. People who strictly follow gender roles are more likely to be traditional in general. Traditionally-minded people are less likely to get divorced.
My only concern is that people who don't understand the difference between correlation and causality will start flogging this as proof that "women need to learn their place again".0 -
I think women tend to turn into mothers after a while.
My husband already has a nagging mother that corrects him on everything he does, he doesn’t need another one. He tries to help and helps a lot and that needs to be appreciated and rewarded. Yea he thinks shoes go on the living room floor rather than shoe closet, but he is 38yo, is nagging gonna change that? Probably not, so I don’t let it bother me. Yea he doesn’t put the dishes away, BUT who cares, he did the dishes.
This :flowerforyou:0 -
fine. i'll go clean the kitchen. but that's where all the knives are kept, honey
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Same goes for the opposite way though. My wife and I work together so we have energy for each other when the lights go down in the city.0
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That's because no matter how many times he does the dishes, he doesn't put them in the dishrack the right way!!!!!
THIS!!! Man I hate a disorganized dishrack!! And he never puts them away in the right place either...although I do appreciate him vacuuming the carpet every once in awhile, I figure that's something pretty hard to screw up. It does bother me a bit that I work all day then have to come home and cook and clean while he's off work for medical reasons and tends to sleep late and sit around all day :S0 -
In all honesty though, I come from a traditional as heck family.
My mom didnt get a job until we were in highschool. My dad worked and came home to a clean house and dinner and the kids with their homework done so he could relax after being on his feet all day dealing with jerks and getting the menial sht taken care of and using his brain at max for a few hours at a time with just a short lonely lunch in a crap cafeteria break room with no color or life in it.
If he didnt have my mom's smile to come home to and the smell of food and my brother and I laughing and having fun cause we already got past the homework btching part - he probably would have lost his mind. Having to come home and keep house too- I just dont feel like that would have been fair to him.
Im not saying all women should be in the kitchen, but im saying, if youre a wife and you work part time or less, I know what I would fill that time in with:
Super fast cleaning followed by later Btch im going to the gym til you get home - there's a roast in the crockpot so I already won
I saw the benefits it gave my parents. They for real felt like partners. So many people think that being partners means splitting everything right down the middle, but I find its better when you divide and conquer. Your man has a great job and supports you? Make sure yall have a badass castle and a feast when yall are done ruling the world together each day. Treat him like a king and you'll be his Queen. My dad told me that's just math.0 -
It's not a surprise. People who strictly follow gender roles are more likely to be traditional in general. Traditionally-minded people are less likely to get divorced.
My only concern is that people who don't understand the difference between correlation and causality will start flogging this as proof that "women need to learn their place again".
:drinker:
SLOW CLAP0 -
I should go into hiding forever now right? Im going to get beat up for that I know it.0
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We go through times when one of us isn't feeling motivated to get things done for whatever reason. The other one usually steps up and keeps things going smoothly. The secret is not feeling resentful and trying to keep score. We also have certain jobs that we prefer doing.....no we never worked out a schedule or assigned duties that's too regimented. I have learned to never criticize how he does a chore if I expect him to ever help again. Living with anybody for 20 yrs isn't easy. I'm the organizer, the detailed cleaner, the disciplinarian, and the keeper of the schedule and he is the heavy lifter, bill payer/finance manager, lawn mower, car maintainer and spider killer. We've gotten through the arguments and kept it together.0
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If I was able to be a stay at home mom, you bet your sweet *kitten* I would do every little bit of cooking, cleaning, laundry and shopping. I would do it bc I WANT to, not bc I am told or have to. However, since that is not an option and I work 40hrs while husband works 50ish hours, things are split. I do 90% of the cooking and shopping but he helps with cleaning and laundry. It works for us.0
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Let's see!
My husband and I have never once discussed who does what,
yet our house is clean,
dishes done,
bathrooms cleaned,
floors swept and mopped,
vaccumed,
cat boxes done,
lawn is mowed,
house is painted,
snow is shoveled,
and we always have food on the table,
clean clothes and a roof over our head...............
I do not do it all and he does not do it all.. we just do whatever needs doing!!
It has worked for us for 20+ years......0 -
Maybe these couples should be doing less housework and more.....bow chicka wow wow
agreed!!!0 -
I am entirely ok with this IF the wife is a housewife or stay-at-home-mom. However, if both partners work full time, then they should share the housework equally.
Have you ever tried putting away dishes with a couple of little ones "helping"? Trust me, staying home IS a full time job. I've worked outside the home, and now I work FROM home, in the evenings when he gets home from workout outside the home. We both do the cleaning. We have 3 kids, and each of us needs to.
My husband stayed home when the baby was born- I went back to work after 3 months and he stayed home for a year with her and the two older kiddos. Now he FULLY appreciates what I do all day when he's gone to work, and I've never had to change the trash or try to bring laundry down to the basement with a toddler in tow!0 -
Correlation does not equal causation.0
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I don't mind helping out around the house at all. Laundry, dishes, cooking, the list goes on. But if I'm doing it, I'm gonna do it the way I want to. I don't wan to be bit*hed at because don't do it the way she does.0
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Honestly...I think me in the kitchen would lead to our divorce! My husband is a MUCH better cook than I am...therefore our happy marriage = HUSBAND in the kitchen! 0
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^^ This sister!!!! RIGHT ON!!!Thats BS.
If hubby wants me to have energy for him when the sun goes down, he better help.0 -
I call BS, I get more angry and less patient with my husband when he's not helping. He's a big boy, he can hand a few dishes or the vacuum once in a while.
Agreed. I'm the breadwinner. The last thing I want to do is come home from a long day, only to clean, and cook, then clean again while my partner is on the internet or playing Skyrim. He's in school, 5 minutes from the house. Things are always happier when he has dinner ready when I get home and when the trash has been taken to the curb.
Where's the study that says that a Happy marriage = Neither partner parked in front of the computer / gaming console?0 -
Maybe the relationships where the wife is in the kitchen are the ones where they are more traditional, which often means less divorce. Less divorce does not mean happy marriage.0
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In all honesty though, I come from a traditional as heck family.
My mom didnt get a job until we were in highschool. My dad worked and came home to a clean house and dinner and the kids with their homework done so he could relax after being on his feet all day dealing with jerks and getting the menial sht taken care of and using his brain at max for a few hours at a time with just a short lonely lunch in a crap cafeteria break room with no color or life in it.
If he didnt have my mom's smile to come home to and the smell of food and my brother and I laughing and having fun cause we already got past the homework btching part - he probably would have lost his mind. Having to come home and keep house too- I just dont feel like that would have been fair to him.
Im not saying all women should be in the kitchen, but im saying, if youre a wife and you work part time or less, I know what I would fill that time in with:
Super fast cleaning followed by later Btch im going to the gym til you get home - there's a roast in the crockpot so I already won
I saw the benefits it gave my parents. They for real felt like partners. So many people think that being partners means splitting everything right down the middle, but I find its better when you divide and conquer. Your man has a great job and supports you? Make sure yall have a badass castle and a feast when yall are done ruling the world together each day. Treat him like a king and you'll be his Queen. My dad told me that's just math.
100%. Forced equality for the sake of making things strictly 50/50 often comes at the cost of taking advantage of specialization, complementary, and reciprocal dependency.
I reject the notion that all inside-housework must be split 50/50 by time, and if it isn't, it's some nefarious sign of unfairness.
My wife has been a SAHM for the last 10 or so years, and so she does most of the cooking and cleaning - because she actually is home to do it. Before that, we split the housework and cooking up much more equally, as we were both working full-time.
What I do believe in is, as a couple, it's very good idea to have roughly the same amount of FREE TIME. Whether you spend your working time in a job outside the home, or on indoor housework, or outdoor yard maintenance, is irrelevant.
The kids are in school now, and she's taking some courses, and working part time. Still, with all that, she's home more than me. When she goes back to work full-time we'll balance it out. Life circumstances changes, you have to be ready to change with it.0 -
I call Bullsh@t....
I'm the bread winner - I make several times more than he does. I work 9 hrs a day, get up round 5:30 am, 5 days a week. AFTER I have DONE MY WHOLE WORK DAY, I HATE GOING HOME AND FINDING OUT HE SPENT THE WHOLE MORNING/AFTERNOON DOING NOTHING! Then he goes to work for 4.... yes.... FOUR HOURS! Plus, he's left dishes, clothes, trash and car stuff out.
When I get home, there's all the housework, the cooking, plus heaven help the house needs something addressed (like the lawn!) or heck, even my car (he has 2 - he'll spend every free dime on them, but I have to change my own oil & breaks because he has no time).
Sorry, I call this "study" BS - a major steaming pile of cr@p.
Our biggest fights are always based around how freaking LITTLE he does around the house HE WANTED ME TO BUY!
How that if I'm making all the money and he pays NO BILLS, how come I have to DO EVERYTHING!
Plus, he can't even spend time with me! He skipped my birthday this year... because his precious Sebring broke and he HAD to fix it.
I've known the man for 10 years (come this Nov) - married for 4.... I don't know HOW LONG I CAN do this...
*sorry rant over, return to your normal internet surfing experience*0
This discussion has been closed.
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