A Happy Marriage = Wife in the Kitchen

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  • IamOnMywayNow
    IamOnMywayNow Posts: 470 Member
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    I don't mind helping out around the house at all. Laundry, dishes, cooking, the list goes on. But if I'm doing it, I'm gonna do it the way I want to. I don't wan to be bit*hed at because don't do it the way she does.


    Amen!!! Kudos to you! I dont give a rats *kitten* if my little ones diaper is on backwards or if the whites get put in the wash with the darks as long as I did not have to do it, I am totally fine with the way it gets done. Mama need a damn break too! :) I am a SAHM and I do 98% of the house work plus taking care of the kids but nothing gets me in the mood more than my husband taking out the trash or helping me clean up after dinner or changing a diaper. It helps me know that I am not in this alone and it make me appreciate him even more.
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    I call Bullsh@t....

    I'm the bread winner - I make several times more than he does. I work 9 hrs a day, get up round 5:30 am, 5 days a week. AFTER I have DONE MY WHOLE WORK DAY, I HATE GOING HOME AND FINDING OUT HE SPENT THE WHOLE MORNING/AFTERNOON DOING NOTHING! Then he goes to work for 4.... yes.... FOUR HOURS! Plus, he's left dishes, clothes, trash and car stuff out.

    When I get home, there's all the housework, the cooking, plus heaven help the house needs something addressed (like the lawn!) or heck, even my car (he has 2 - he'll spend every free dime on them, but I have to change my own oil & breaks because he has no time).

    Sorry, I call this "study" BS - a major steaming pile of cr@p.

    Our biggest fights are always based around how freaking LITTLE he does around the house HE WANTED ME TO BUY!
    How that if I'm making all the money and he pays NO BILLS, how come I have to DO EVERYTHING!
    Plus, he can't even spend time with me! He skipped my birthday this year... because his precious Sebring broke and he HAD to fix it.

    I've known the man for 10 years (come this Nov) - married for 4.... I don't know HOW LONG I CAN do this...

    *sorry rant over, return to your normal internet surfing experience*

    If you've known him for 10, married for 4, it sounds like you knew what you were getting yourself into.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    In my marriage I do everthing.... I mean everything. I work full time at an equally paid job as him. I do all the household chores, run the kids places, cook, finances, grocery shop, everything..... and still have the energy for some great sexy time.
    AND I have no issues with any of it. I do not keep score.
    Why?
    Cause the man treats me like gold. Everyday (usually more then once) I am told I am beautiful, I am reminded in so many ways that he loves and cherises me on a daily basis. He chases me around claiming he can't keep his hands off me. He treats me exactly the way I need to be treated in order to feel the best about myself.

    I believe marriage is different for every couple. How it works for them may not work for the next two. Do what makes the other person happy and they will do in return.

    I don't have to be my husband's maid to get this kind of treatment.

    In our marriage, I can't say that it's split 50/50, but we both have our chores. He does all the cooking, vehicle maintenance, and yard work. I do all the cleaning (house, laundry, dishes). I work a lot more hours than him since I'm a grad student, so when I get really behind on things he helps me out.
  • mfpseven
    mfpseven Posts: 421 Member
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    **** I'll be married forever then lol
  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
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    I forsee a divorce in your future.. lol
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
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    I am entirely ok with this IF the wife is a housewife or stay-at-home-mom. However, if both partners work full time, then they should share the housework equally.

    this! unfortunately what i see happen though is that both partners work, but the woman still ends up doing the majority of the cooking and cleaning, which can lead to some serious resentment.
  • SheilaN1976
    SheilaN1976 Posts: 266 Member
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    interesting........i have been divorced twice, on my 3rd marriage....and with all of them i have done ALL the housework. first marriage lasted 6 yrs, second lasted 11 months (physical abuse was reason for divorce) and i have been with my husband 12 years, married 11 yrs now.
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
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    I feel like my guy is more of the "wife" in our house haha.
    He loves cooking and prefers it and he's mad OCD so he's always cleaning even when it's spotless. I do all the dishes, laundry and vacuuming though.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
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    That's because no matter how many times he does the dishes, he doesn't put them in the dishrack the right way!!!!!

    Thank you!

    If I wait around for stuff to be done right I will have to wait a looooong time. I rather do it myself, right the first time and not have to even redo it again. It doesn't matter how many times I explain how it's done..it just never happens.

    This my friends is the key to men getting out of doing chores...lol

    yeah i'm pretty sure they just keep doing it wrong on purpose. it's a conspiracy. they all went on some secret men's blog and decided they would just keep putting the dishes in there all crazy until we all just give up and tell them to go back to the couch. lol.
  • sharinax3
    sharinax3 Posts: 8 Member
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    Looks like im not getting married
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    Hunh.

    I always try to help out. I'm never comfortable if my partner is doing something in the kitchen/around the house and I'm not.

    At the same time I've never been married.

    Looks like I should stay on the couch...

    I'm the same...i always did the lions share and I've never been married...

    that being said i'm a girl....maybe *I* should be on the couch...

    jus sayin
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
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    I will not mow the yard or take out the garbage. my fiance will not cook or help with the cats. w both do laundry, but only if im busy and need him to put clothes in the dryer.

    Im a housewife, but if/when i decide to go to work.....ah hell, ill probably still do everything. lmao. i love him, but im a control freak and he kinda sucks at housework.
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
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    Really, I did the whole housewife thing the first time around.. operative word. First!
    Second time I'm a full partner in the marriage working full time making more than my husband. He works closer to home so he does dishes, yard work, takes trash out and most often floors and laundry. He cooks for himself and I cook for myself. That leaves me with whatever is left. I spend 1.5 hours in commuting total in a day, and he spends about 20 mins total.
    It's fair enough for me and when he's not interested in doing laundry, then I go buy new clothes.

    When I don't want to cook we eat out. When he bought me the steam mop, he earned the rights to clean the floors until that mop died.
  • Drunkadelic
    Drunkadelic Posts: 948 Member
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    house elf ftw
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
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    I think there are a lot of outside factors not taken into consideration. If both parties are sharing the chores, it probably means both parties work, meaning a more hectic schedule. It may also mean unhappiness derives from "Well, I thought they were going to do that and now I'm mad they didn't", whereas in traditional gender roles, everyone knows what's what. Finally, it probably doesn't take into account people who subscribe to more traditional gender roles tend to WANT to live that way, and are therefore happier doing so.

    Obviously that's not true across the board, but I think there are a lot of factors not being taken into account here.

    I've only lived with my boyfriend for a year. For a while I was doing the bulk of the housework, but that was because I was working a lot less than he was, so I didn't mind picking up the slack. Now we tend to split it more evenly or try to do it together. I do most of the cooking though, since I enjoy it. It's different for every couple and no one can dictate how they should work their relationship.
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
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    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/9572187/Couples-who-share-the-housework-are-more-likely-to-divorce-study-finds.html
    Couples who share the housework are more likely to divorce, study finds
    Divorce rates are far higher among “modern” couples who share the housework than in those where the woman does the lion’s share of the chores, a Norwegian study has found. In what appears to be a slap in the face for gender equality, the report found the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50 per cent higher than among those where the woman did most of the work.


    Discuss

    There are several logical flaws at play here:

    1) The assumption that it would require the woman to be in the kitchen, and not simply, one home/care taker and one business/worker is an equation for defined roles where each knows what they are responsible for and thus cuts down on arguments and poor communication.

    2) The idea that because couples haven't learned how to communicate and share house work equally, means that they *can't* learn to do so.

    3) The idea that even when couples share house work, it's shared equally. Generally studies show that when both partners work, women still do roughly 60-80% of the house work. Resulting in more stress on the woman (as she's trying to get "everything" done) and more feelings of guilt for the man, who feels useless and relegated to the sidelines. Ultimately creating resentment on both sides of the issue.

    Having to share house work tests your ability to work together, talk to each other, and express your own wants and needs. OF COURSE it's going to result in a higher divorce rate.
  • jhall1255
    jhall1255 Posts: 99 Member
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    Thats BS.
    If hubby wants me to have energy for him when the sun goes down, he better help.

    haha.true story
  • Platypusimus
    Platypusimus Posts: 33 Member
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    I thought it went something like "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman you wife"

    Haha! That SONG!
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
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    Correlation in one study does not imply causation. I call bull****!

    I would do most of the chores if I didn't work full time. If we both work full time, we both share. Plus my fiance is a WAY better housekeeper than I am, and he volunteers to do a lot of the stuff because he tends to think I don't clean thoroughly enough :) He complains about how I leave socks and dishes everywhere and don't clean up the countertop when I spill a miniscule amount of sugar while seasoning my coffee. We both hate dishes, but we team up and get that *kitten* under control. Marriage = working together.
  • youcandooeet
    youcandooeet Posts: 104 Member
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    Coorelation =/= Causation
This discussion has been closed.

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