Door Opening Men - a question for you

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  • ScottCadi
    ScottCadi Posts: 56
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    Yup.... always felt that whatever the climate (PC/weather/mood/whatever), it is something I can do for others that costs me nothing. If it makes someone's life easier/better/day, that is just icing on the cake.

    I wonder if your friend just notices those who don't while not recognizing those who do.... you know. So many of us forget all the good things in a day and dwell on the 'not so good'?
  • TexasTroy
    TexasTroy Posts: 477 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.
    I second that

    ^^ yep, this.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    Ah, the fine art of door-opening. Seriously, I don't know how some guys do it. I, of course, hold the door for anyone within a reasonable distance -- it's only polite. But those gentlemen that manage to walk along side a woman, yet always manouver themselves to reach the door first without any awkward shuffling...I love that. Unless, of course, it's only until we start dating. Start as you mean to carry on, I say!

    This can get funny-awkward at work, though. In the military, who holds the door and who goes first is based on rank precedence, not gender. But some men have a really hard time with that, so are always getting the door for junior-ranking women, which usually results in an awkward shuffle as each is trying to manouver themselves to do what they think is right.
  • rrrufty
    rrrufty Posts: 24
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    This.
    It is a conditioned response passed down from father to sun. I guess it starts with hold the door for your monther. This then evolves to we on in general. It is now reflex.

    And this.

    If its a guy, I'll hold it open for him as I'm walking through.

    If its an elderly lady or man, I'll hold it open and wait for them to pass through first.

    If its a young, capable woman/girl, it depends on her comportment.

    Attractiveness has far less weight than demeanor in this particular scenario.
  • brjustice2000
    brjustice2000 Posts: 33
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    For me, it is how my grandma raised me - have manners, hold the door for a lady, an elderly person, someone whose hands are full, a disabled person. Basically, it is the golden rule - treat others the way you wish to be treated.

    When I'm carrying stuff and someone holds the door open for me, I always say thank you. This morning, going into the gym, I held the door open for my wife and continued to hold it open for a lady leaving who was carrying something in one hand and pulling a cart with the other hand. The lady went through the door with no acknowledgement or thank you, not even a nod. I thought what an attitude and lack of manners. Later on, I thought maybe she was upset and her mind was really else where. My grandma would call it walking in the other person's shoes.

    Again, it is just good manners. Be thankful, in many countries the wives and children are nothing but servants. I hope the majority of us continue to have good manners.
  • j_courter
    j_courter Posts: 999 Member
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    I'm a woman, and I hold doors open for whoever's behind me. So do my daughters. (Ok, they have been known to shove each other out of the way to hold the door open for strangers, but one manner at a time, I guess.) It's just polite.

    My guess? You don't have an expectation that men MUST hold the door open, so you notice it when they do and the once or twice they don't doesn't register. She believes that all doors must swing by male arms only, and so the outrage gland starts working when they don't. (And we all listen to our outrage gland more than any other organ. True fact.)

    outrage gland... lol.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    I'm a woman, and I hold doors open for whoever's behind me. So do my daughters. (Ok, they have been known to shove each other out of the way to hold the door open for strangers, but one manner at a time, I guess.) It's just polite.

    My guess? You don't have an expectation that men MUST hold the door open, so you notice it when they do and the once or twice they don't doesn't register. She believes that all doors must swing by male arms only, and so the outrage gland starts working when they don't. (And we all listen to our outrage gland more than any other organ. True fact.)

    outrage gland... lol.
    Or the flip side--I've never understood why some women get mad when men open the door. Of course, I also don't understand why some men get upset if you open anything yourself, either.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    A- maybe they do hold the door and she doesn't notice, or maybe she is never close enough to the door for so eons to stand there and hold it till she gets there..... Do the let the door close in her face!?

    B- maybe she has the look, air, of a lady that doesn't like it when men hold the door for her??
  • leftoverbun
    leftoverbun Posts: 111 Member
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    I do the opposite. I hold the door shut tight, and if she can open it, she can have me.
  • mavrick7
    mavrick7 Posts: 1,607 Member
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    These are courtesies that are slowly becoming part of the part, but I went to an all boys Catholic school and was taught to open doors, hold chairs for women and give up your seat on the bus for elderly and ladies.
  • tony1307
    tony1307 Posts: 127 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    ^^ exactly that ^^
  • bionicrooster
    bionicrooster Posts: 353 Member
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    That's the way I was raised also. Always hold the door open for the ladys :-)
  • angelicarubi
    angelicarubi Posts: 148 Member
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    Maybe if she looks like a b**** they ignore her because they know she wont appreciate the door being opened for her. IDK
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
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    To the men who open the doors when a lady is behind or in front of you.

    Why?

    What prompts you to open a door for a woman?

    My reasoning for asking is simple. I have never been in a situation where there was a man immediately before or behind me where I've actually had to touch the door myself. They always, always, always open the door for me. I'm so used to it I've never noticed it.

    However, a coworker of mine has been complaining that she has never met a man in this town who will open the door for her!

    So what's the difference? Why are guys ignoring her and tripping over themselves to open doors for me?

    It can't be appearance because she dresses better, she's skinnier and she's prettier (not being modest, this is just facts). So it's not as if I'm getting special treatment because of appearance. So what else could it be?

    What is this elusive thing that will make you open the door for one woman and ignore the next? Please discuss and enlighten me. :D Thank you.

    It is common here in the south to open the door for any gender to be honest. People open the door/ keep it open for me and i do the same.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    To the men who open the doors when a lady is behind or in front of you.

    Why?

    What prompts you to open a door for a woman?

    My reasoning for asking is simple. I have never been in a situation where there was a man immediately before or behind me where I've actually had to touch the door myself. They always, always, always open the door for me. I'm so used to it I've never noticed it.

    However, a coworker of mine has been complaining that she has never met a man in this town who will open the door for her!

    So what's the difference? Why are guys ignoring her and tripping over themselves to open doors for me?

    It can't be appearance because she dresses better, she's skinnier and she's prettier (not being modest, this is just facts). So it's not as if I'm getting special treatment because of appearance. So what else could it be?

    What is this elusive thing that will make you open the door for one woman and ignore the next? Please discuss and enlighten me. :D Thank you.

    It is common here in the south to open the door for any gender to be honest. People open the door/ keep it open for me and i do the same.

    this. :)
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    I would guess that she just must not be in that situation often. 95% of the time I see men holding the door open for people and I do the same regardless of gender/age.

    I see my boyfriend hold the door for literally anybody except in different ways.. if it's a man, he will hold it behind him so it won't slam in their face and if it's a woman or a child he opens it and waits until they enter first. I've never seen him discriminate against certain people..
  • Drussander
    Drussander Posts: 266 Member
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    In NYC, people look at me suspiciously when I hold the door open for them, LOL. I grew up doing it, so I don't even think about it, but it's not that common here in the city. Sadly, some people don't even say "thank you" when I do it, which is the proper response when someone opens the door for you.
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
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    Not a man, however, I hold doors open (took me YEARS to 'get over' being the door holder and walking behind people as it was a must as part of my job) and get doors held open for me. My favorite is the double door hold, where s/he holds the first set for me and I hold the second set for s/he or vice versa.

    I've also had people let doors shut in my face, mostly co-workers or customers...now that I find incredibly rude, since they *knew * was there, it had to have been deliberately.

    Most interesting to me is, in this part of the country I've had guys stand holding the door as I walk from my truck to the door, no matter how far away I might from said door. :smile:
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
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    So what's the difference? Why are guys ignoring her and tripping over themselves to open doors for me?

    They are holding the door open for her however she is a negative person focused only on the few times it didnt happen. If she smiled or said thanks it might happen more often also....just sayin
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
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    I do the opposite. I hold the door shut tight, and if she can open it, she can have me.
    thats great lol

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