Door Opening Men - a question for you

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  • hsmaldo
    hsmaldo Posts: 115 Member
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    I don't understand why this is gender based. I'm a woman (obviously) and I hold the door for anyone within a reasonable distance. It's manners, dammit. Other people hold it for me sometimes as well. It's rare that a door is shut in my face.
    I'm a bit curious if door holding is as common on the East Coast, especially tri-state area. Seems to me that the general feeling there was much more of a "too busy for you" attitude. Although some folks out here near Boulder can get a bit pretentious at times, being overly friendly and polite is usually the norm. Missed that during our years on the east coast.
    I'm rambling, not enough coffee yet....
    Hold the door. It's nice.

    Door holding on the East Coast (Tri-State area) is not uncommon...(in my experience) but it's still more of the 'hold it open for the person behind you and don't make eye contact' kind of way than the 'open it and let the person go ahead of you' kind of way.

    Having grown up in the Northwest, I got used to holding doors open for others and so it's still habit for me to do it out here on the East Coast. But people aren't near as friendly or thankful for it...they seem more suspicious and shocked than anything! LOL

    All that being said though, I thoroughly appreciate when a gentleman opens the door or holds the door for me!
  • frando
    frando Posts: 583 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    Agree with this, as a person rather then a woman if that makes sense.
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
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    If someone is within a few steps of a door I hold it for them, be it woman, man, child, old fogey. I also usually make eye contact and smile or nod. This world could use a few more friendly people. I was just raised to be polite. Oh, and if the chick I hold it for is hawt I can look at her booty as she goes by. :bigsmile:
  • Fnarkk
    Fnarkk Posts: 61 Member
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    Same as most here. I was raised that way and will hold the door for anyone who is within a certain distance. The distance varies with the person (ie, if elderly, I will hold for much longer so they don't have to hurry, if teenage, I will wave them through if I think they are lagging.) And of course for women, I will hold the door while they are half a block away so I can check out their behinds as they pass. (Kidding...just kidding...) It's manners, plain and simple. Oh, and I will smile and nod and say 'Have a nice day' as they go through just because I think it is nice.
  • Liquidfeet
    Liquidfeet Posts: 62 Member
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    Guys, on behalf of a small population of women who still appreciate a true gentleman, I just gotta say... To those of you who have the gentleman's dignity to open the door for a lady... THANK YOU. It's a gesture of respect and protection towards us, and I, for one, appreciate it. I know that today's society teaches men that it's demeaning and unnecessary to open a door for a woman... but I cannot understand the feministic mindset of "You'd better not open that door for me, because I am an independent woman, and capable of opening it myself!" A kind gesture like holding the door for us shows us that you think we're worth something. If I am blessed with children, I will raise my sons to have this great character quality. ;)

    This 100%! Thank you form those who still appreciate the gesture! :flowerforyou:
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
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    My opinion is this: There are a lot of things, when it comes to dating, such as opening doors, paying for the first few dates, that women expect from men because there is a sentimental or emotional value they attach to these gestures. The problem therein lies that men are naturally less inclined to attach any emotional or sentimental value to gestures such as these, so the ones who end up doing it more or less only do it because they've been "trained" to. They can't explain why, it was just programmed into them from childhood by parents and society despite the fact that there's no emotional return for them like there is for women.

    The issue is that not all men express love or affection by performing acts or duties that are symbolic of placing the woman up high on a pedestal. It's simply not what's natural to them. And because they do not share the sentiment, they will prefer an approach that's more derived from simple logic, again, because that's what's natural to them.

    And the woman is faced with a problem here because she cannot actively communicate these expectations or desires she has to be placed on a pedestal because, no matter how you word it, you just can't say it without sounding like a self-important narcissist. It's impossible.

    The only thing a woman can do in these situations I think is to evaluate whether or not the man she's with is the type who is naturally inclined to express his interest/affection by performing these pedestal-signifying acts, and if he isn't to simply bite her tongue and look to see what ways he DOES express his interest/love/affection. If she sees something else that can be equivalent, great. If not, she can leave.
  • Fvaisey
    Fvaisey Posts: 5,506 Member
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    I hold the door for anyone if they are close. Will go a bit farther out of my way to hold the door for a lady. I've found most men do this and some ladies. It's a bit amusing going into a building with multiple doors to pass thru as there is a kind of dosie-do that happens as the first guy holds the door for the rest, so the next guy grabs the next door, leaving the next guy to grab the next door.

    Sorry for you ladies that are not getting this service. Wondering is this is the difference between rural and urban upbringing. Or maybe you walk too fast. lol
  • miss_ally08
    miss_ally08 Posts: 167 Member
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    I always am used to opening the door for anyone, whether its a man or woman. My dad always taught me that a man with manners will always open the door for you and I guess I kind of took that to heart.

    My husband always opens the door for me and honestly, I'm not used to that. I'm used to always opening the door for myself or others. Sometimes I'll try to open the door for him but he will still tell me to go in before him, lol.

    It's a nice thing to do and kudos to all the men that do it!!! :)
  • ewhsweets
    ewhsweets Posts: 167 Member
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    Put it this way for all of you non-door openers...it's a strenghth move, esp those heavy doors...LOL esp. when you hold a door for one person and ten file through...and if you dart ahead to let through some nice woman pushing a stroller = cardio.

    Overall it's a nice gesture, polite and curteous .... ROCK ON !!! I wish the world was as nice the rest of the time...

    And for those women who are out there who think it's demeaning, I would think of it as a rare time where somebody is being nice, so smile and say thank you. And perhaps a self-esteem check is in order if you really think that a perfect stranger puts enough into you that opening a door is an attempt to demean you...please...barf
  • zippo32
    zippo32 Posts: 1,419 Member
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    I open the doors............................business, house, car, etc.
  • Cese27
    Cese27 Posts: 626 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.
    ^^^^this

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