Dear Abby, Why aren't don't older chicks try to be hotter?

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  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
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    What's wrong with putting it writing? Women are just as bad.

    Keep your self prejudices to just that...yourself. Let the man be....and go workout.
    So we should keep our "self prejudices" to ourselves, but there is nothing wrong with him putting his "self prejudices" in writing?

    Double standard = failed logic.

    You're *****ing about it...he's not. He's saying what he wants. You're pissing because its not YOU.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    I don't want to date a fat man who doesn't shower regularly.

    Anyone who doesn't like it just doesn't deserve me

    I <3 you!
  • rm7161
    rm7161 Posts: 505
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    Can you women getting mad at this just stop and think before you get up in arms over a guy wanting what everyone one of us wants in a partner-someone who takes care of themselves.

    Do you take care of yourself? Why should an attractive woman want you if you do not? I do not see any lack of attractive women 40+ and men who take care of themselves have no lack of them either. Why should I believe his sob story when my personal experience of male friends (I have more male friends than female) is so different? Their standards are high.
    I swear, people are getting dumber by the day here.

    aw, have a cookie.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    “Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tries, and a touch that never hurts.” — Charles ****ens
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    I don't want to date a fat man who doesn't shower regularly.

    Anyone who doesn't like it just doesn't deserve me

    I <3 you!

    Only because I got my makeup tattooed on my face and I wear nothing but cocktail dresses YOU DOUBLE STANDARD B!TCH
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Honestly, now that I've gotten over the title, I can say that I wouldn't date a guy who wore frumpy clothes, had unkept hair and oily skin and ugh ugh ugh.

    What's so wrong with wanting your partner to be clean cut and well taken care of?
  • Punisher1130
    Punisher1130 Posts: 98 Member
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    ok... so I am 36. I have every intention of looking great as long as I possibly can.

    That said... *gasp* sometimes I go to walmart in yoga pants, with a banana clip and no makeup - especially if I am sick. I don't NEED to be hot and sexy 24/7. I am NOT a Stacey / Clinton from What Not to Wear - sometimes I think it is fine to relax a bit.

    I want someone who will want me when I'm glammed up, and when I'm yoga'd down. I want someone who knows what they have, and can see past a runny nose, messy hair and day old makeup - because it DOESN'T happen all the time... And lastly, I especially want someone who likes it when I'm sporting the bday suit.

    But damnit, sometimes I wanna be able to just let it go for a bit - and in return, I'll give my man leave to do likewise.

    I think I just might know that guy..... hint hint, cough cough ;)
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    I don't want to date a fat man who doesn't shower regularly.

    Anyone who doesn't like it just doesn't deserve me

    I <3 you!

    Only because I got my makeup tattooed on my face and I wear nothing but cocktail dresses YOU DOUBLE STANDARD B!TCH

    ok ok, you got me. :-S
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    All of the angry women here remind me of Liz Lemon
  • RushBabe214
    RushBabe214 Posts: 469 Member
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    I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.

    There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.

    I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

    I completely agree with this.

    Nowhere in the man's comment did he say his standard was a Playboy bunny, just someone in their mid-40's who takes care of themselves and makes an effort.

    I don't understand the outrage.....
  • CentralCaliCycling
    CentralCaliCycling Posts: 453 Member
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    Sounds like a fake letter to me based on a perception that a fit man in his 40s (with an education and a decent job) would want an excuse to date someone younger.

    What kind of woman would you expect a man with an education, decent job, and who is in shape to be interested in? I doubt it would be the couch warming, HS drop out, with no interest in life beyond television and all-you-can-eat buffet type. It is is likely that the "author" of the letter to Dear Abby is looking for a cheering section of people to slam that attitude as unfair, incorrect, sexist, misogynist, and egoistical.

    Apparently this theoretical man is supposed to consider appearance irrelevant. Abby seems to suggest that those fit the bill may not have a brain but will be more than happy to accept a sizable donation for a single date... One date at a time.
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
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    I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.

    There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.

    I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

    Well said.
  • gsager
    gsager Posts: 977 Member
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    Totally agree with the man.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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    I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.

    There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.

    I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

    I completely agree with this.

    Nowhere in the man's comment did he say his standard was a Playboy bunny, just someone in their mid-40's who takes care of themselves and makes an effort.

    I don't understand the outrage.....

    ^ All That
  • head_in_rainbows
    head_in_rainbows Posts: 290 Member
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    I think there are both men and women who let themselves go and feel like they don't have to take care of themselves anymore. I don't have problem with this guys comment accept that it is a half-trueth.

    I think that simply while we age more and more people our age stop caring. I am quite far from mid 40's now but I see how even amongh my friends, and we are all around 30 now, there is much bigger number of those with beer-bellies or love-handles than 10 years ago. We have less time and there are things we have to concern ourselves with that were simply not there when we were 20? Sure. Is this just an excuse? In many cases yes. I find it ironic sometimes that I slimmed down and started caring about myself when many of my friends stopped. I can see how it can be frustrating because if someone felt inadequate for years because they were the biggest in a group and felt unatractive and when they finally got where they wanted or colse to when tehy wnated and finally look good and care about their apperiance, people their age start saying "Oh come on! like I have nothing better to do! " ... "So you run? How nice ... I have kids to care for, send to school. But sure cool for you that you have time for that." ... To a point I undertsand this guy because it does sometimes seem to me that I lost a lot of time in my younger years and I was unhappy while my girls were trying on a new bikini every season and I was terrified of going to the beach. Now when I finally feel more or less comfortable in a bikini, they still wear theirs but don't care about the fat layers or beer bellies while 10 years ago they were running around flashing their abs around. It makes me feel like I lost that moment when those things were generally important and now it is sure nice to look good but it's not a big deal if you don't. Is it my beer-bellies, love-handles-carring friends fault or even problem? No. If it is anyones problem than it is mine. Should I be angry at anyone? No ... but I think I understand this guys frustration even if he worded it wrongly and neglecte dto add that it applie sto both women AND men.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

    I know this girl!!! She's married, so she's not worried about who men are going for, but she gave up a long time ago. :(

    I will always care about my appearance in public. Once you are in a couple, you arent just representing yourself anymore. if youre single and wanna frump around town, and dont care if you arent getting dates or promotions or whatever - fine. I dont feel the same way once you are in a couple.

    The face you present to the world, your best foot forward and your bright face out in public... is going to reflect on my other half as well, and I would hope that when people come across just me - They dont think to themselves... Ohhhhhh so THAT's the weakest link in that whole relationship. Nope.

    I care alot a lot allot a l o t about my reputation, in a city that demands you do so, in a competitive as heck world. And because I love my hypothetical other half, I'd like to reflect well on him as well.


    Before AND after we've met.

    BUT

    you cant stop me from running around Brooklyn sans shoes.
  • IHeartOwls
    IHeartOwls Posts: 8
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    I somewhat agree but sometimes it's gals my age [I'm 29] as well. I don't wanna look like that ever. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes we don't give a shiz, as they say. But for the most part I feel better about myself when I'm out looking presentable. I dunno...
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    Can you women getting mad at this just stop and think before you get up in arms over a guy wanting what everyone one of us wants in a partner-someone who takes care of themselves.

    Do you take care of yourself? Why should an attractive woman want you if you do not? I do not see any lack of attractive women 40+ and men who take care of themselves have no lack of them either. Why should I believe his sob story when my personal experience of male friends (I have more male friends than female) is so different? Their standards are high.
    I swear, people are getting dumber by the day here.

    aw, have a cookie.

    My point is that this guy is commenting on his perceptions and people are calling him a jerk for wanting to find a woman who takes care of herself. What is wrong with that? What is wrong with wanting to find someone who takes the time to present themselves nicely? It would be one thing if that's all that mattered, but I didn't get that out of the article.


    It's no different than someone asking why there are not any good men left in the world. Of course there are, but to the person asking the question, there isn't because they are not meeting any good men.

    It is possible that the circle of women this guy has around him has in fact given up. Maybe he does hit the gym and is in good shape and dresses well, is he that wrong for wanting someone who values the same things?

    I just find it incredibly stupid for trashing the guy for something that everyone desires in a mate.

    Throughout my life, I've never heard a woman point to a guy with bedhead, ratty clothes and dirty as hot. Nor have I ever seen one go talk to someone randomly when their are other options. I'd bet my life that if this question was from a woman, there would be a total reverse on some of the comments.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    Well i find the opposite..I know plenty of 40 something women who are put together. but men my age tend to look like they have one foot in the grave. pass.
  • Modcom
    Modcom Posts: 18
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    I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

    THAT TWEETY BIRD SHIRT WAS MY MOM'S!

    ^^This!! U Funny, Me laugh...

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