Do "all men" secretly have a thing for their "female friend"

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  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    I have a very good male friend. I dont think he has a thing for me. He jokes alot about it, but I think its only that, jokes.

    LOL. Yeah, sure. He totally has a thing.

    Im gonna text him right now and ask him if he has a thing.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    I wondered about this too. Are all my female friends really just smashables?

    the answer is yes. When I became single, I tested the theory. And, it turned out that pretty much all of them, if I remained friends with them, I hoped it would one day happen. When you're single, you can try it out and see.
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
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    Ehh...I think in many cases, if they are close friends, one or both of them has a thing for each other. This has happened to me with guys who I thought were just friends...it was just a matter of time until they told me! I think though, for more casual buddies, not necessarily. I have tons of guy friends, some of whom have girlfriends, but we're not on a super-deep friendship level. I think it *can* exist, completely platonic friendships, but they have to be completely unattracted to the other person, which is rare.

    I don't really see why? I admire my female friends and my male ones for whatever characteristics they happen to have and I love having them on board for my journey (and sharing theirs). Can't really understand why it's such a big deal - people are just people.
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
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    lol at the girls in this thread replying that they have male friends and nothing has happened...thus there is no attraction on his end. Great logic! The guy would do you, given the right opportunity. End of story. You don't know what he is thinking. Just because YOU think it is 100% platonic is entirely irrelevant.
  • LordByproduct
    LordByproduct Posts: 117
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    No this is a falsehood in the fact that it treats "all men" as exactly the same and that can NEVER be true. i offer myself as an example because i hold my friendships in such high regard that i have had friendship only relationships with girls. (although i honestly regret not "smashing" a few of them) its a matter of how much you want your friend to know you cherish that friendship vs hitting that.

    thats my two cents. it is possible....is it a good thing? sometimes.
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    I have a very good male friend. I dont think he has a thing for me. He jokes alot about it, but I think its only that, jokes.

    So not a joke.
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    No. This is fairly absurd really.....the notion that men can't have platonic friendships with females......I have many.....and even if I was single would have no "thing for them" or "desire to bang them"

    Awesome response to get FRs from hot chics. Well played. :drinker:
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
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    No this is a falsehood in the fact that it treats "all men" as exactly the same and that can NEVER be true. i offer myself as an example because i hold my friendships in such high regard that i have had friendship only relationships with girls. (although i honestly regret not "smashing" a few of them) its a matter of how much you want your friend to know you cherish that friendship vs hitting that.

    thats my two cents. it is possible....is it a good thing? sometimes.

    but you still secretly had a thing for them, as you just admitted. Which is what the OP asked. So it's not a falsehood at all. The fact that nothing happened is once again entirely inconsequential.
  • jenluvsushi
    jenluvsushi Posts: 933 Member
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    It's funny how you will rarely ever see a man and women who are "just friends" if the woman is unattractive and the man is good looking. On the other hand, I have seen many attractive women who are "just friends" with fairly unattractive men....so my opinion is YES. Also, every single one of my close male friends has eventually hit on me in some way. And no, I wasn't imagining it. IMO-most (not all) men don't really have an interest in truly being a woman's friend unless they are attracted to them in some sort of way (gay men excluded). This is a generalization but true most of the time in my experience. It' funny how most of my male friends have disappeared since I got married too.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    lol at the girls in this thread replying that they have male friends and nothing has happened...thus there is no attraction on his end. Great logic! The guy would do you, given the right opportunity. End of story. You don't know what he is thinking. Just because YOU think it is 100% platonic is entirely irrelevant.

    Maybe you would...... but you can't speak for all men.
  • snoopy7501
    snoopy7501 Posts: 46 Member
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    I'm with the other guys in this thread (the ones who are being honest, at least). If a female friend said "let's go", I'd be on that immediately. It has never happened, though. In fact, I don't usually keep female friends around for very long because it gets to a point where it's clear they want nothing physical with me, and I can't stand the sexual frustration anymore. So I let them go and start looking for girls who *are* interested in me sexually.

    Why are men and women so different in this thing? Check out laddertheory.com for a great (albeit cynical) explanation.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
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    Watch:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
  • horsehockey
    horsehockey Posts: 24 Member
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    Yes, *all* men do.

    no.
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
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    I was just wondering about this... I know some people might know how to keep it platonic but then some people are just stupid.

    I once knew this guy who would have "female friends" and obviously cross the line and to him they were always "just friends" :laugh: He would comment on their pictures (all of them :huh: ) and act as if he was pretty much begging to get a response from them. He was also was the type that when he was single... he would be talking/flirting with them as if he were dating them... It didn't matter what the friend was about... no morals or anything but he would always be like this towards them. And he wondered why he was single... any decent girl could easily sense all of this and not take him serious.
    People choose the company they keep but sometimes this makes me upset. When guys say "she's just a friend" it just seems like such bullsh!t.
    Given not all men are like this... some are respectful :indifferent:

    I was reading the misc forums on bodybuilding.com lol and there were alot of forums dedicated to guys who would "smash" their female friend. 99% of them didn't care if she had 3 kids-3 different dads or if she did crack lol

    I find it really uncomfortable. I don't keep male friends like that around why would I even considering being with a man who had female friends like that...
    your thoughts? lol

    Edit: I misread the comments at first. I have to side with some of the guys even though I'm female. As long as "feelings" don't get in the way, what's the harm. As long as it's good it's worth it.
    That is the way of men. If you notice there are very, very few animals that have a mate for life. Men had to "spread it around" to help ensure our species continued. Our lifestyle may have changed but we are still animals.
  • jesse1379
    jesse1379 Posts: 239 Member
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    Unless they are gay...then YES lol.
  • osualex
    osualex Posts: 409 Member
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    Ehh...I think in many cases, if they are close friends, one or both of them has a thing for each other. This has happened to me with guys who I thought were just friends...it was just a matter of time until they told me! I think though, for more casual buddies, not necessarily. I have tons of guy friends, some of whom have girlfriends, but we're not on a super-deep friendship level. I think it *can* exist, completely platonic friendships, but they have to be completely unattracted to the other person, which is rare.

    I don't really see why? I admire my female friends and my male ones for whatever characteristics they happen to have and I love having them on board for my journey (and sharing theirs). Can't really understand why it's such a big deal - people are just people.

    If there is no attraction on either end whatsoever, of course it is possible. It's just that many men (and women) won't take the friendship to a deep level unless there is attraction from one of them.
  • FireSwan
    FireSwan Posts: 170 Member
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    I love reading these responses and the different answers given by men and women. I'll just put this out there:

    My husband started out as just a friend ....

    .... until I kissed him! :bigsmile:
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    I genuienly don't. I'm lucky enough to have meaningful relationships with all my friends, male or female, rather than just following them around like a loser hoping that if i put enough kindness in, sex will pop out. I feel sorry for them guys, what losers. The irony is the guys who see women as people not just fckboxes going to probably have much more success with relationships in general.
  • CentralCaliCycling
    CentralCaliCycling Posts: 453 Member
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    I have had male friends who were truly good friends. no sex and no intentions. then there are the ones who WANT to be your friend with hopes that it could lead up to sex. sorry charlie. with me, ain't gonna happen! :P

    you can read the guy's intentions if you are aware of who you are and what you stand for. a guy who leers at you and makes sexual remarks about you, wants to have sex with you. :P

    for me, sex is only after you are committed in marriage and for me, it's for life.

    Just because a guy doesn't leer or make sexual remarks doesn't mean he has considered it...
  • ciobair
    ciobair Posts: 69
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    I'm with the other guys in this thread (the ones who are being honest, at least). If a female friend said "let's go", I'd be on that immediately. It has never happened, though. In fact, I don't usually keep female friends around for very long because it gets to a point where it's clear they want nothing physical with me, and I can't stand the sexual frustration anymore. So I let them go and start looking for girls who *are* interested in me sexually.

    Why are men and women so different in this thing? Check out laddertheory.com for a great (albeit cynical) explanation.

    Seriously ?

    So you're not actually look for a friend just someone to bump bones with..........

    I have always had female friends, and despite the scathing replies from most of the guys on here, it is possible to be friends with a girl and not want to jump her at the first/any/every opportunity.

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