Do "all men" secretly have a thing for their "female friend"

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Replies

  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
    I have a very good male friend. I dont think he has a thing for me. He jokes alot about it, but I think its only that, jokes.

    LOL. Yeah, sure. He totally has a thing.

    Im gonna text him right now and ask him if he has a thing.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I wondered about this too. Are all my female friends really just smashables?

    the answer is yes. When I became single, I tested the theory. And, it turned out that pretty much all of them, if I remained friends with them, I hoped it would one day happen. When you're single, you can try it out and see.
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
    Ehh...I think in many cases, if they are close friends, one or both of them has a thing for each other. This has happened to me with guys who I thought were just friends...it was just a matter of time until they told me! I think though, for more casual buddies, not necessarily. I have tons of guy friends, some of whom have girlfriends, but we're not on a super-deep friendship level. I think it *can* exist, completely platonic friendships, but they have to be completely unattracted to the other person, which is rare.

    I don't really see why? I admire my female friends and my male ones for whatever characteristics they happen to have and I love having them on board for my journey (and sharing theirs). Can't really understand why it's such a big deal - people are just people.
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
    lol at the girls in this thread replying that they have male friends and nothing has happened...thus there is no attraction on his end. Great logic! The guy would do you, given the right opportunity. End of story. You don't know what he is thinking. Just because YOU think it is 100% platonic is entirely irrelevant.
  • LordByproduct
    LordByproduct Posts: 117
    No this is a falsehood in the fact that it treats "all men" as exactly the same and that can NEVER be true. i offer myself as an example because i hold my friendships in such high regard that i have had friendship only relationships with girls. (although i honestly regret not "smashing" a few of them) its a matter of how much you want your friend to know you cherish that friendship vs hitting that.

    thats my two cents. it is possible....is it a good thing? sometimes.
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
    I have a very good male friend. I dont think he has a thing for me. He jokes alot about it, but I think its only that, jokes.

    So not a joke.
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
    No. This is fairly absurd really.....the notion that men can't have platonic friendships with females......I have many.....and even if I was single would have no "thing for them" or "desire to bang them"

    Awesome response to get FRs from hot chics. Well played. :drinker:
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
    No this is a falsehood in the fact that it treats "all men" as exactly the same and that can NEVER be true. i offer myself as an example because i hold my friendships in such high regard that i have had friendship only relationships with girls. (although i honestly regret not "smashing" a few of them) its a matter of how much you want your friend to know you cherish that friendship vs hitting that.

    thats my two cents. it is possible....is it a good thing? sometimes.

    but you still secretly had a thing for them, as you just admitted. Which is what the OP asked. So it's not a falsehood at all. The fact that nothing happened is once again entirely inconsequential.
  • jenluvsushi
    jenluvsushi Posts: 933 Member
    It's funny how you will rarely ever see a man and women who are "just friends" if the woman is unattractive and the man is good looking. On the other hand, I have seen many attractive women who are "just friends" with fairly unattractive men....so my opinion is YES. Also, every single one of my close male friends has eventually hit on me in some way. And no, I wasn't imagining it. IMO-most (not all) men don't really have an interest in truly being a woman's friend unless they are attracted to them in some sort of way (gay men excluded). This is a generalization but true most of the time in my experience. It' funny how most of my male friends have disappeared since I got married too.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    lol at the girls in this thread replying that they have male friends and nothing has happened...thus there is no attraction on his end. Great logic! The guy would do you, given the right opportunity. End of story. You don't know what he is thinking. Just because YOU think it is 100% platonic is entirely irrelevant.

    Maybe you would...... but you can't speak for all men.
  • snoopy7501
    snoopy7501 Posts: 46 Member
    I'm with the other guys in this thread (the ones who are being honest, at least). If a female friend said "let's go", I'd be on that immediately. It has never happened, though. In fact, I don't usually keep female friends around for very long because it gets to a point where it's clear they want nothing physical with me, and I can't stand the sexual frustration anymore. So I let them go and start looking for girls who *are* interested in me sexually.

    Why are men and women so different in this thing? Check out laddertheory.com for a great (albeit cynical) explanation.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
    Watch:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
  • horsehockey
    horsehockey Posts: 24 Member
    Yes, *all* men do.

    no.
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
    I was just wondering about this... I know some people might know how to keep it platonic but then some people are just stupid.

    I once knew this guy who would have "female friends" and obviously cross the line and to him they were always "just friends" :laugh: He would comment on their pictures (all of them :huh: ) and act as if he was pretty much begging to get a response from them. He was also was the type that when he was single... he would be talking/flirting with them as if he were dating them... It didn't matter what the friend was about... no morals or anything but he would always be like this towards them. And he wondered why he was single... any decent girl could easily sense all of this and not take him serious.
    People choose the company they keep but sometimes this makes me upset. When guys say "she's just a friend" it just seems like such bullsh!t.
    Given not all men are like this... some are respectful :indifferent:

    I was reading the misc forums on bodybuilding.com lol and there were alot of forums dedicated to guys who would "smash" their female friend. 99% of them didn't care if she had 3 kids-3 different dads or if she did crack lol

    I find it really uncomfortable. I don't keep male friends like that around why would I even considering being with a man who had female friends like that...
    your thoughts? lol

    Edit: I misread the comments at first. I have to side with some of the guys even though I'm female. As long as "feelings" don't get in the way, what's the harm. As long as it's good it's worth it.
    That is the way of men. If you notice there are very, very few animals that have a mate for life. Men had to "spread it around" to help ensure our species continued. Our lifestyle may have changed but we are still animals.
  • jesse1379
    jesse1379 Posts: 239 Member
    Unless they are gay...then YES lol.
  • osualex
    osualex Posts: 409 Member
    Ehh...I think in many cases, if they are close friends, one or both of them has a thing for each other. This has happened to me with guys who I thought were just friends...it was just a matter of time until they told me! I think though, for more casual buddies, not necessarily. I have tons of guy friends, some of whom have girlfriends, but we're not on a super-deep friendship level. I think it *can* exist, completely platonic friendships, but they have to be completely unattracted to the other person, which is rare.

    I don't really see why? I admire my female friends and my male ones for whatever characteristics they happen to have and I love having them on board for my journey (and sharing theirs). Can't really understand why it's such a big deal - people are just people.

    If there is no attraction on either end whatsoever, of course it is possible. It's just that many men (and women) won't take the friendship to a deep level unless there is attraction from one of them.
  • FireSwan
    FireSwan Posts: 170 Member
    I love reading these responses and the different answers given by men and women. I'll just put this out there:

    My husband started out as just a friend ....

    .... until I kissed him! :bigsmile:
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    I genuienly don't. I'm lucky enough to have meaningful relationships with all my friends, male or female, rather than just following them around like a loser hoping that if i put enough kindness in, sex will pop out. I feel sorry for them guys, what losers. The irony is the guys who see women as people not just fckboxes going to probably have much more success with relationships in general.
  • CentralCaliCycling
    CentralCaliCycling Posts: 453 Member
    I have had male friends who were truly good friends. no sex and no intentions. then there are the ones who WANT to be your friend with hopes that it could lead up to sex. sorry charlie. with me, ain't gonna happen! :P

    you can read the guy's intentions if you are aware of who you are and what you stand for. a guy who leers at you and makes sexual remarks about you, wants to have sex with you. :P

    for me, sex is only after you are committed in marriage and for me, it's for life.

    Just because a guy doesn't leer or make sexual remarks doesn't mean he has considered it...
  • ciobair
    ciobair Posts: 69
    I'm with the other guys in this thread (the ones who are being honest, at least). If a female friend said "let's go", I'd be on that immediately. It has never happened, though. In fact, I don't usually keep female friends around for very long because it gets to a point where it's clear they want nothing physical with me, and I can't stand the sexual frustration anymore. So I let them go and start looking for girls who *are* interested in me sexually.

    Why are men and women so different in this thing? Check out laddertheory.com for a great (albeit cynical) explanation.

    Seriously ?

    So you're not actually look for a friend just someone to bump bones with..........

    I have always had female friends, and despite the scathing replies from most of the guys on here, it is possible to be friends with a girl and not want to jump her at the first/any/every opportunity.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    wow. i have a ton of guy friends. I had no idea they all wanted to screw me! I'm allofasudden a lot less stressed out about this being single thing!

    Thanks for all the insight into mankind, MFPers!

    Question: does this also go for male coworkers?
  • justal313
    justal313 Posts: 1,375 Member
    I have a number of female friends. Some of them I would have at one time wanted to pursue a relationship with. Some of them I would not have wanted to pursue a relationship with. A few of my female friends I never got the balls up to ask out before I was friendzoned.

    There are however female friends, who are objectively hot I'd never want to be more than friends with. Being friends with women always came easy to me, I grew up with 2 sisters, a constant female houseguest and my mom and my two roommates before I met my wife were both women, female friends, only one of which I would have considered dating or something less emotional but more physical, but that was off the table when she moved in, that would have been a bad idea, shame really I considered it OFTEN before then...

    anyway, I digress... It is possible for men and women to be just friends. Some times it just kinda sucks because you'd like for it to be more, but you should be a grownup and not let it cause you to not be a friend.

    If all you're after is sexual, make your move, celebrate, or take rejection gracefully and move on. Don't be hanging around hoping to change their mind, it's not fair to them and it's really not fair to you.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    I have a very good male friend. I dont think he has a thing for me. He jokes alot about it, but I think its only that, jokes.

    LOL. Yeah, sure. He totally has a thing.

    Im gonna text him right now and ask him if he has a thing.
    You are either a troll...or very naive.
  • serena569
    serena569 Posts: 427 Member
    I am friends with all the females at the crossfit box I go to, we joke, we hang out, we do the hug hello and goodbye, and I am always a gentleman about it, but if one of them gave me the green light, it would be on like donkey kong.. you know, if I wasn't married.
    Speaks the truth

    Exactly. I have several males friends and we are just friends. I'm also positive they would jump at the chance if I offered. All except the gay one. And he still might.
  • BrieLP
    BrieLP Posts: 300 Member
    No not ALL MEN... single men maybe..... I am a huge flirt (okay i was until i got married now i just flirt with my husband) but before him I was a huge flirt and flirted with ALL of my guy friends........ it's just my nature and same for my guy friends.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    I have a very good male friend. I dont think he has a thing for me. He jokes alot about it, but I think its only that, jokes.

    No...it's not and Yes...he would.
  • dropdeadgreggie
    dropdeadgreggie Posts: 31
    I have a very good male friend. I dont think he has a thing for me. He jokes alot about it, but I think its only that, jokes.

    LOL. Yeah, sure. He totally has a thing.

    Im gonna text him right now and ask him if he has a thing.
    You are either a troll...or very naive.

    Her friend wants to put it in her butt. Just saying.
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
    I think people either have an attraction or they don't. Some may see it as a friendship and others more. Personally I have had friends and tried dating a few which didn't work out. However there are true friendships of the opposite sex without the nonsense. Just depends on the individual.
  • slackerwoman
    slackerwoman Posts: 261 Member
    I am married but I have a lot of male friends who are "just friends". One of my best friends is male. That said....most of them including my best male friend have openly said that they respect that we are just friends but if they ever had the chance they would. I would never say that ALL men are like this. I can only tell you what I know from my experience.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I feel like I have genuine friendships with guys who are in relationships, because we both know we're not interested in anything more. There's no potential for things getting weird. With single guys, I feel like I have to keep my guard up a little more.

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